Ocd anxiety..NFP serious reasons

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I am 29 years old. I have 4 children 6 and under. I have struggled with severe anxiety and ocd since childhood.

I think it’s probably my ocd that is making have excessive guilt over this but I am trying to determine if anxiety and ocd is a serious enough reason to postpone having more children.

I am so young and I have many years left of fertility and I don’t think I can handle having a huge family.
 
Praying for you to find peace. I hope you have a good medical professional who is helping you deal with the burden of OCD.

The Church does not have a list of what counts as a just reason to avoid with NFP, she leaves that to each couple to discern. What is just for my family and what is a just reason for the neighbors may be far different things.

As another note, as this forum is closing in a couple of weeks, in order to find like minded Catholics to discuss this, you may want to check out the NFP subforum over at
https://forums.avemariaradio.net/
 
It would be a good idea to discuss these issues with your pastor/confessor together with your spouse, and discern the truth without a cloud of doubt that may be cast by your condition.
 
OCD is a physical disorder that should be treated by an appropriately trained physician or psychologist.
 
Hello
My husband and i have been married a long time and i have had periods of illness that meant we totally abstained before we were convinced about NFP or believed our circumstances were ‘grave enough’. We did not find many people willing to talk to us about the issue actually, and those we did seemed to be using NFP solely for their convenience without expressing any truly serious reasons. One priest even implied we could use contraception as we already have a family! We did not appreciate that, because i don’t think enough is spoken about on the subject anyway without embarrassment and it took a lot for us to come to this particular man. In answer to your post, i think any serious mental as well as physical illness or complication would be grounds to use NFP, considering that God knows your heart too, so he knows that you’re not trying to avoid having more children for minor or materialistic reasons etc. I totally feel for you in this regard though, because it IS certainly easy to fall into guilt, and if I’m honest, with my own fears about possible pregnancy i find it takes away from the intimacy anyway, but that might just be me…
 
Socrates92 said:
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FiveLinden:
OCD is a physical disorder that should be treated by an appropriately trained physician or psychologist
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Isn’t it more mental/psychological than physical?
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Yes, physicians are not equipped to deal with OCD and they will refer you to a psychiatrist if they are worth their salt.
 
When I said ‘physical’ I was contrasting it to the belief held by some that if it manifests itself in religious obsessions or compulsions or intrusive thoughts it is a ‘spiritual’ disorder. I have no doubt that spiritual practices can give some relief to some people. But the underlying cause is biochemical. It is certainly best treated in consultation with psychologists or psychiatrists but physicians also treat as well as refer. I am not recommending any particular treatment but I understand both talking therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy are used, along with or as an alternative to the use of drugs similar to those used for some cases of depression.
 
Anesti33 said:
Yes, physicians are not equipped to deal with OCD and they will refer you to a psychiatrist if they are worth their salt.
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Physchiatric are physicians. They are physicians who are specialized in psychiatry. So they can deliver drugs. Physchologists have a master’s degree in psychology (at least where I live) and cannot deliver drugs.
 
Mental health conditions are certainly grave enough reason to consider giving your body a break from pregnancy and breastfeeding. The mother is the heart of the home and if she is struggling, it affects everyone.
I had 4 children by the time I was 30, and now at 38 have another 4 - 8 in total. I love my kids but have serious regrets over the way we mismanaged NFP (I was very weak and acted against my better judgement many times just to please my husband), and I have suffered both mentally, physically and spiritually because of it. Do what you need to do now - see a psychologist, join an anxiety/OCD support group, check out some breathing exercises for anxiety, download some Christian meditation apps and check in with a natural health practitioner (ND) to see if you are lacking in any vital nutrients that can be supplemented for.
Abstinence has its challenges, but love is bigger than that. Your husband will need to be understanding, particularly if, like me, the very notion of pregnancy is enough to set off a cascade of anxiety symptoms. Have faith that things will get better with time. God is with you XX
 
Anesti33 said:
It would be a good idea to discuss these issues with your pastor/confessor together with your spouse, and discern the truth without a cloud of doubt that may be cast by your condition.
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That’s fine, but I would be discussing this with a psychologist as well (first).

OP: What does your psychologist say?
 
TC3033 said:
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Anesti33:
It would be a good idea to discuss these issues with your pastor/confessor together with your spouse, and discern the truth without a cloud of doubt that may be cast by your condition.
Click to expand...
That’s fine, but I would be discussing this with a psychologist as well (first).

OP: What does your psychologist say?
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I don’t think they should discuss whether or not to continue having children with a psychologist. That is the purview of their pastor.
 
Anesti33 said:
I don’t think they should discuss whether or not to continue having children with a psychologist. That is the purview of their pastor.
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The question was also about how OCD and Anxiety would effect that question/equation. I would say that is for a trained mental health PhD. A priest could be involved in the counseling, but I’d make sure this question is going to my psychologist.
 
We can speak with a psychologist of that of course, as anything, but it’s a moral question, so it’s not up to a psychologist to give an answer or an definitive advise.

And true psychologists would avoid to say to a client “you should not have children right now”, because it’s not ethical nor professional. It’s up to the client to determine what he wants to do.
 
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Maybe you cannot, but with God’s grace, you can do that and much more. I would make an appointment and speak with Father, then peruse the website of the National Catholic Bioethics Center, then consider counseling for your anxiety.

You have undergone Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? If not, it is drug-free and can even be done over the phone if need be (Ha!). Anxiety is a parasite and a liar. It steals your peace and this pleases only the devil. But! You have God on your side and He is infinitely more powerful than any malevolent spirit.

Look into, as our Lord deeply desires that you live in profound peace.
 
Anicette said:
We can speak with a psychologist of that of course, as anything, but it’s a moral question, so it’s not up to a psychologist to give an answer or an definitive advise.

And true psychologists would avoid to say to a client “you should not have children right now”, because it’s not ethical nor professional. It’s up to the client to determine what he wants to do.
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If you read the OP, it is NOT a moral question but one of “is OCD and Anxiety a serious enough condition to postpone having children”. That is a question best directed to a mental health professional, specifically the psychologist the OP should be currently seeing.
 
It remains the same, it is a moral question.
I don’t question that a priest cannot have any qualifications over mental health.

But it’s not to a mental health professional to determine who and when one is allowed to have children or has reason to avoid them.

Psychology does not believe that. every person is free to make his own choices. Psychology is only here to help the person to make his own choice and assume it.
 
Sorry, disagree. The question is about a specific mental health condition, diagnosis and the future working within that diagnosis. As I said, a priest can be a part of the counseling but when it comes to questions about the severity of a diagnosis such as OCD and Anxiety, a psychologist (specifically one that is currently working with the OP) should be at the forefront.
 
Does your husband feel it’s a serious enough reason to postpone pregnancy? He knows you well & your family circumstances. He can help you tease out if it’s legit issues or fear of some vague, unknown, nebulous “something” that you need to just press on in spite of. My husband and I just had a similar conversation in fact. We’ve had 7 kids in 10 years and I said we need to postpone because I’m terrified to get pregnant right now. He had me hit him with all my reasons why we “can’t” have a baby now & helped me work through the ones he was able to. It took a lot of weight off my mind. I’m much closer to feeling ready to take on another pregnancy than I did before he & I talked. Talk to your hubs.
 
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I’m confident you will sort this out. But on a side note, I want to say that having many siblings has been one of the best things about my life. Every time I’ve had trouble, somebody steps in to help. So, even if you remain the mother of four, remember you are already awesome! They will be so happy you gave so much of yourself for their current enjoyment in life, but also for their future enjoyment. Try to cut corners here and there to reduce the workload. But also, remember to enjoy what is likely to be the best time of your life!
 
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