OCD During Mass

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1Dakota0831

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I struggle with severe OCD, and have for almost a decade now. It is Scrupulosity OCD, and I have lots of bad thoughts about committing mortal sins in my thoughts/giving in to mortally sinful thoughts. I don’t usually actually give in to the thoughts (I’m not perfect though, so thank God for His mercy). However, going to Mass is often a trigger for me, because I worry about having a bad thought, giving into it, and not being in a state of grace to go to Communion. So, Mass can often be a trigger for my OCD. The panic and pain is so bad, it becomes physically painful as well as emotionally and mentally. So, when I go to Mass (I go every week on Saturday night), I often have to spend long periods of time in the bathroom calming myself down. Sitting through a Mass is possible, but agonizing. I try as hard as I can to stay the whole Mass (I almost always do), but I often spend most of it in the bathroom or in the back on my phone trying desperately to not fall into extreme panic. Does this make me a bad Catholic? Am I not spending enough time in Church? Does this mean I haven’t done a good part in making my Sunday obligation? What do you guys think?
 
I would also suggest that you speak with your doctor and ask for a referral; there are medications which can significantly assist in some instances.
 
Make an appointment to speak with your Priest outside Mass times, and explain to him what you’ve written here. He will be able to advise you better than we ever could. Also talk to your doctor, if you haven’t already.

I’m sorry you’re struggling so badly, and that you have been for such a long time. You are not a bad person, please don’t judge yourself that way.
 
I’ve already done that. The medicine didn’t really work. I’m currently working on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but I most likely will have OCD for my whole life.
 
Great to know you are actively looking for solutions to what is, after all, simply a problem with the biochemistry of your brain. If you had diabetes it would simply a problem with the biochemistry of your pancreas and gut. Diabetics, like people with OCD, benefit from counselling the focuses on behaviours that contribute to the problem (eating carbohydrate in one case, thinking too much as Mass in the other). They also benefit from drugs. But our bodies don’t all respond in the same way so active monitoring of the drugs and their use is important. For both diabetics and people with OCD it can take a log time to get things right. And then, darn it, we do things like getting older and our bodies change. So we have to tweak the drugs again. Please keep up your counselling with evidence-based practitioners and your contact with your physician. CAF I agree may not be the best place for seeking advice.
 
1Dakota0831 said:
What do you guys think?
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You need to be under the care of your pastor and a mental health professional.

Do not seek answers on the internet, talk to your pastor about your situation and follow his instruction.
 
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