O
obiwan
Guest
I’m a senior in high school and I struggle with discerning God’s call for me. It all started when I saw this fatima message that said that our lady was sad when people don’t follow their vocations to be priests. Well I had it when I was a younger, but I didn’t really think of it until know. I don’t know anymore how to discern my feelings. Many say that they get this urge inside of them to be a priest. I do get this ‘urge’ sometimes, but I feel like that its my ocd thats causing this urge. I should note that I don’t want to be a priest. I really really want to be married. In the past I often would have similar circumstances like this, but with other things. Like when buying, like idk shoes or something at the store my brain would be ‘make me’ like something that I knew I didn’t like, but the more I kept overthinking the situation, the more I felt like I liked it. Its gotten to the point where I’m tempted to leave the faith. Any type of vocation adverts in magazines, such as on the back of knights of columbus, will trigger this chain of rummination. Its killing me. I can’t sleep, don’t feel like doing anything productive, and I just feel so darn numb emotionally. I often sometimes lookup is catholicism the one true faith, and things like that, but then i tell myself to stop, because I need to be aligned with god’s will. I feel tempted to masturbate, because I want to get rid of the anxieties of being celibate. I know that I should be with God’s will, i just can’t be a priest. Is this OCD or do I need therapy or spiritual advisor, or am I making up excuses.Also if it is OCD please tell me what type it is, like pure-o, tourette’s, etc.
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