OCD or a genuine call to priesthood?

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obiwan

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I’m a senior in high school and I struggle with discerning God’s call for me. It all started when I saw this fatima message that said that our lady was sad when people don’t follow their vocations to be priests. Well I had it when I was a younger, but I didn’t really think of it until know. I don’t know anymore how to discern my feelings. Many say that they get this urge inside of them to be a priest. I do get this ‘urge’ sometimes, but I feel like that its my ocd thats causing this urge. I should note that I don’t want to be a priest. I really really want to be married. In the past I often would have similar circumstances like this, but with other things. Like when buying, like idk shoes or something at the store my brain would be ‘make me’ like something that I knew I didn’t like, but the more I kept overthinking the situation, the more I felt like I liked it. Its gotten to the point where I’m tempted to leave the faith. Any type of vocation adverts in magazines, such as on the back of knights of columbus, will trigger this chain of rummination. Its killing me. I can’t sleep, don’t feel like doing anything productive, and I just feel so darn numb emotionally. I often sometimes lookup is catholicism the one true faith, and things like that, but then i tell myself to stop, because I need to be aligned with god’s will. I feel tempted to masturbate, because I want to get rid of the anxieties of being celibate. I know that I should be with God’s will, i just can’t be a priest. Is this OCD or do I need therapy or spiritual advisor, or am I making up excuses.Also if it is OCD please tell me what type it is, like pure-o, tourette’s, etc.
 
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obiwan said:
this OCD or do I need therapy or spiritual advisor, or am I making up excuses.
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You might need both. Either way, starting with your diocesan vocations director or your local pastor isn’t a bad idea.
obiwan said:
Also if it is OCD please tell me what type it is, like pure-o, tourette’s, etc.
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No one here is qualified to make such a diagnosis. You’ll need a psychologist for that.
 
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There should be a calm, steady, peaceful, and joyful desire for such a vocation rather than a compulsion or feeling of sheer “ought”.
 
If you are feeling distressed, it may be very helpful to speak with a doctor.

It’s impossible to tell if you have OCD or another condition online. I would encourage you to speak with a professional in person to be examined. A video appointment might also be appropriate.

Start with you regular doctor, who can help determine what treatment stragies might help. He can refer you to others if needed.
 
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Regardless of whether the priesthood is your vocation, you’re having intense persistent thoughts disrupting the quality of your life. That sounds like a layman’s definition of OCD to me.

If you think you need help, below is a hyperlink to the international ocd foundation’s “find help” page. Qualified therapists who can truly help you mitigate OCD’s symptoms are listed there.

https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/
 
Please do not ask here, please go and seek out the vocations director at your Diocese.
 
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