C
Costner
Guest
Hello everyone. I have already posted the same post on the prayer thread but decided to post it again on the family life thread because from what i have seen, post on this thread have a lot more people commenting and giving good advice , and more prayers. I figure The more the merrier.
I’m addicting to pornagraphy and at the same struggle with OCD. I try to quit, but just can’t. Every time I finish my “Business” with porn, I tell myself that was the last time and ill never do it again. But since I have OCD my mind is always telling me I have to do it again and again till I “climax” at the perfect moment ( right time of day, the date of day, what particular video to watch, what I need to think about while I’m doing it, and so on). When I’m watching a porn video I sometimes climax with a thought of someone I really dislike and it bothers me because in the future I don’t want to look back and say " hey, remember the person you thought of while you were jacking off to this video?" I really want to have a nice thought in my head while I’m sort of doing so I won’t have those worries In my head later on, but these negative thoughts and people I dislike keep popping up resulting to me having to do it again and again till I get it right. It’s sort of like if someone told you to not think of a bird, but the first thing you think about is a bird. You know what I mean?
In many rare occasions I managed to get everything right. I had the “perfect thought” I did it on the right day, I did it on the right time etc. when I finish with it I feel very happy and thank God that it is finally over. A few days will go by and I encounter another demon which is my addiction to porn. I have been watching porn almost everyday for the last 4 or 5 years and can’t seem to stop the urges.
So my situation here is that when I do overcome these rituals I have to do to end porn, I find myself relapsing a few days later because I’m addicting to it. So really it is like a never ending cycle
I don’t ever want to go to the doctor or see a psychologist or take any sort of medication. I truly believe I can beat OCD and my porn addicting by myself, GOD, and loads of your guys prayers! Please pray for me because time is sort of running out for me. I would like to enlist in the military before the end of the year but i refuse to do it until these demons are long gone!
I’m addicting to pornagraphy and at the same struggle with OCD. I try to quit, but just can’t. Every time I finish my “Business” with porn, I tell myself that was the last time and ill never do it again. But since I have OCD my mind is always telling me I have to do it again and again till I “climax” at the perfect moment ( right time of day, the date of day, what particular video to watch, what I need to think about while I’m doing it, and so on). When I’m watching a porn video I sometimes climax with a thought of someone I really dislike and it bothers me because in the future I don’t want to look back and say " hey, remember the person you thought of while you were jacking off to this video?" I really want to have a nice thought in my head while I’m sort of doing so I won’t have those worries In my head later on, but these negative thoughts and people I dislike keep popping up resulting to me having to do it again and again till I get it right. It’s sort of like if someone told you to not think of a bird, but the first thing you think about is a bird. You know what I mean?
In many rare occasions I managed to get everything right. I had the “perfect thought” I did it on the right day, I did it on the right time etc. when I finish with it I feel very happy and thank God that it is finally over. A few days will go by and I encounter another demon which is my addiction to porn. I have been watching porn almost everyday for the last 4 or 5 years and can’t seem to stop the urges.
So my situation here is that when I do overcome these rituals I have to do to end porn, I find myself relapsing a few days later because I’m addicting to it. So really it is like a never ending cycle
I don’t ever want to go to the doctor or see a psychologist or take any sort of medication. I truly believe I can beat OCD and my porn addicting by myself, GOD, and loads of your guys prayers! Please pray for me because time is sort of running out for me. I would like to enlist in the military before the end of the year but i refuse to do it until these demons are long gone!