Offensive?

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pbr7w6

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Does anyone else find this offensive?

From:archstl.org/laityandfamilylife/post/quick-start-annulment-program-divor

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Posted on January 6, 2012 - 2:29pm

To help divorced and separated Catholics more fully understand the annulment process and begin whatever process may be necessary, Quick-Start sessions provide (1) a brief overview of the sacrament of marriage with an explanation of the annulment process and (2) personal assistance by an advocate to discuss an individual’s situation and begin any application process which may be required. Please bring your marriage history including the date and location of any marriage and divorce as well as your ex-spouse’s name and address."
 
What on earth is offensive about the church helping its members and future members? It is not offensive, it is a work of mercy in the church. Sheesh.
 
What are you finding offensive? I don’t see anything wrong with it :confused:
 
No, I think they are providing information, counseling and support to a group of Catholics and prospective Catholics who are in a painful process.
 
pbr7w6 said:
Does anyone else find this offensive?

From:archstl.org/laityandfamilylife/post/quick-start-annulment-program-divor

"
Posted on January 6, 2012 - 2:29pm

To help divorced and separated Catholics more fully understand the annulment process and begin whatever process may be necessary, Quick-Start sessions provide (1) a brief overview of the sacrament of marriage with an explanation of the annulment process and (2) personal assistance by an advocate to discuss an individual’s situation and begin any application process which may be required. Please bring your marriage history including the date and location of any marriage and divorce as well as your ex-spouse’s name and address."
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No. The Church is trying to help those who have avoided the process and to return in full communion, if possible. There are many Catholics who live in doubt about the validity of a marriage, are afraid to remarry, are afraid that their second marriage is invalid, fear the process or outcome, or feel disconnected from the Church due to a confusion.

I’ve seen many people who simply fear being in contact with the former spouse, thinking that they are responsible to get cooperation from the previous spouse. It’s not true, but few seem to know that. Or that non-cooperation means that they cannot get an annullment or – worse – they think they were validly married the first time but were not. In one case I know, the first marriage only required a confession and not an annullment, but until and unless the party approached a priest he/she could not know that they never even had a valid marriage to begin with.
 
Deeply so. I’m so outraged I jumped up and down, screamed at the computer, threw rocks at small children and then wept for hours. ;);)😉

Nope, sorry-not in the least.
 
TrueLight said:
Maybe it’s the “quick start” terminology.
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Potentionally, but that’s not clear from the post. From reading the link, quick start just means that at these meetings, all the information needed to get started will be available. It is not the same thing at all as “quickie divorce”.

The diocese is helping people in need understand the process and start it if necessary. I am sure that the tribunal process will be as complete as it should be and those whose marriages* are *valid, will then hopefully receive the counselling they need.
 
No problem with it at all, even the terminology. It’s a quick start, not a quick process… and the entire point is to help people understand. Can’t start a process without understanding it, and the process was instituted by the Church to preserve the Sacrament of Marriage if I understand it correctly.

If anything it will bring them back, and closer, to the Church than they ever were before.

I’m about to start the process myself for a civil marriage I entered into after a month of dating, etc etc. It was all bad. We were divorced before I ever considered the Catholic Church, and before I EVER knew what marriage really is in totality. Looking at the requirements for an annulment vs a valid marriage, it’s in my favor for the invalid nature.

However, it is a beautiful thing that is the result of an unfortunate disgrace. It’s something I know is a relatively final decision. It’s something that I would be stupid or disrespectful to proceed with, knowing I could be told my marriage is valid, if I am just going to do what I want anyway.

My decision to submit to the diocesan tribunal over the matter was my decision to become a Catholic. If they say I’m in a valid marriage, I’ll have to proceed in life accordingly. If not, then the same. My parents don’t understand. They aren’t Catholic. They don’t recognize the supreme authority of the Church. None of my friends really understand.

Whatever the answer is, I’ll abide by it. But sheesh, I was so scared when looking into the process. I would have loved to had this opportunity rather than just a sit-down informal chat with a priest and a bunch of time online, spending hours looking up conflicting information. Regardless of the information I found, I still don’t “know” what the decision will be, though I can’t foresee a ruling of “valid”. It’s scary in a way.

At least a streamlined process for understanding it is in existence. I hope that the linked program has a huge impact in their diocese in bringing people back into the fold and understanding that they were never unloved or unwanted.
 
My son went through the annulment process. It was the most healing time in his life. I believe that this is a wonderful gift that the Church gives us.
 
TrueLight said:
Maybe it’s the “quick start” terminology.
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In today’s techno babble world, it’s a term that tells people exactly what they need to know in two words, because people are familiar with the term. That’s not a big deal.

This helps people know in advance what they need when they come in. It’s not a promise that they will receive a decree of nullity. The person doing the intake needs certain information to send your case forward and to advise you. If you don’t have that information, you’re going to be sent back to hunt for it.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
I am actually kinda surprised no one else found this offensive. I guess my concern is only mine. Growing up, an annulment was something that only the Pope approved and only happened during some extraordinary circumstance. The post from the Archdiocese, to me, just seemed to undermine the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage. It comes across, as “oppps that didn’t work, no problem, you can just get an annulment.” I know this is part of the whole “Catholics Come Home” program, which is good, it just seems like we are selling out our faith to accommodate people who left the Church.
 
Why is it easy for people to understand that if you are not baptized with certain elements then the Catholic Church can deem you not baptized by THEIR rules. But put the word Marriage in place of Baptism, and sheesh, the Church is selling out and all other maner of accusations?

Not not meeting all of the elements of the sacriment of marriage is the same as not meeting al the elements of any other sacriment. If they have not been met, they have not been met and it did not exist , ever, in the eyes of the Church.

It takes a Chruch tribubal and investigation to determine if all elements were there, it is not guess work. It is not, by ANY means quick either and it most certainly is NEVER a ‘given’ or guarenteed.
 
pbr7w6 said:
I am actually kinda surprised no one else found this offensive. I guess my concern is only mine. Growing up, an annulment was something that only the Pope approved and only happened during some extraordinary circumstance. The post from the Archdiocese, to me, just seemed to undermine the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage. It comes across, as “oppps that didn’t work, no problem, you can just get an annulment.” I know this is part of the whole “Catholics Come Home” program, which is good, it just seems like we are selling out our faith to accommodate people who left the Church.
Click to expand...
Teaching people how the process works and wht information they need to provide doesn’t mean that the diocese is offering a “get an anullment free” card. It simply means that they are helping people prepare for the process. The tribunal still needs to investigate, and not every person will be granted an annulment.

When you were growing up people also probably had a much better understanding of what it meant to be married and what would be expected of them. Society was also much more supportive ofmarriage and family. Now, there are people getting married who have never lived in an intact family. Celebreties seem to be competing to see who can be married with the biggest wedding for the shortest amount of time. Is it any wonder than that much of the population doesn’t seem to know what marrige is, let alone marriage the way the Church understands it.

If you are scandalized by this program,then you should be very motivated to help correct the situations that lead to the need for a program like this. Support your parish youth group, diocesean young adult or Engage Encounter programs. When a family member or friend announces their engagement, talk to them lovingly about the requirements of marriage. Give them coies of “Three to Get Married” or “For Better Forever”. And of course, pray for couples everywhere, that they start their lives together with a real understanding or marriage and support from their family and Church.
 
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