Offering each other the sign of peace

[LiamQ]

I find it very sad that there is so much animosity toward this, and some of the attitudes I find in this thread are actually quite disturbing.

There is not a specific set of directions for how a worshiper is to carry out the Sign of Peace. Perhaps, in your parish, it is done in a respectful manner, as it is in mine. Maybe that’s why you don’t mind it so much.

But the way your parish works is not the way all parishes work. Maybe some folks have a Sign of Peace at their church that’s absolutely inappropriate for a place like Holy Mass. And maybe that’s why they don’t like it.

I love the Sign of Peace. I think it’s wonderful, and I have nothing against it. But it has to be done with respect.

If people start climbing over pews and wandering up and down aisles and taking 10 minutes to swap guffaws… yeah… I will absolutely be against that. Like many others, I disagree with making the Mass more and more and more and more and more about the people rather than about Jesus Christ and the sacrifice at Calvary.

Characterizing that sort of perspective as being unloving and uncaring and un-Christian is, if I may say so, just a touch self-righteous.

 

[Rosebud77]

To be fair, it’s one heck of a stretch to somehow associate a two second handshake and a bit of a smile as being the “love of Christ.” That certainly won’t make a lonely person any less lonely, and it won’t be much of a comfort to those elderly folks whose children have abandoned them to their old age. We’ll have to do a lot more than just a ritualistic greeting, I’m afraid. Folks need real friends and real fellowship … and the time and place for that is absolutely open for debate. I don’t want you coming over to my house at 2 AM to keep me company, and I don’t want you interrupting Mass, either. Dinner is a different matter.

And you know what? What I’m personally bothered by with regard to Protestants has nothing to do with whether or not they think Catholics are friendly. They’ll see enough evidence to the contrary while getting coffee and doughnuts.

What bothers me is the simple fact that, on any given Sunday Mass, 90 percent of the pews are empty 10 minutes before Mass starts, and will only have a couple dozen folks in them within 2 minutes of Mass ending. Hundreds of Catholics leave before the final blessing, even, and are far more busy yacking than they are actually worshiping God.

That should bother you too, because not only is the disrespect for Christ overwhelming, not only are people clearly “busy about many things,” but this is also a huge scandal to Protestants who might be visiting. That behavior absolutely SCREAMS out that folks might not truly believe what the Church teaches about the Blessed Sacrament.

… and, forgive me, you’re worried about handshakes and folks who have seen too much nonsense getting fed up with the profane attitude people have for the great miracle that occurs at Mass? Oh well. You can tell from my tone that I’ve got a cold and am tired.

Thank you for this and get well soon

You speak wisdom…

Agree wholeheartedly…

 

[Rosebud77]

Because I am a convert who has gone to mass alone a lot, and I am an introvert so need some sort of impetus to do what you suggest. Plus I often usher so I have other duties to attend to once mass is over.

Hmmm… I am often told about myself that my worst fault is to think others are like me…

 

[Rosebud77]

At my local Methodist congregation, the sharing of the peace generally takes place just before the offering. I find the whole process a bit awkward, but I “soldier on” and do my best to be cordial to those around me. I have a more reserved personality.

It makes sense to me why some Catholics don’t think it fits in with the Catholic Mass, which is one of the most reverent expressions of the Christian faith I have ever experienced.

**On the other hand, as a few previous posters have indicated, this may be the only human contact that some folks have during the whole week, so I try to be mindful of that.

I make an extra effort to greet those people who are elderly and sitting alone, or anyone else whose body language indicates they might be welcoming of a handshake. **

For my wife, who is much more outgoing than me, the sharing of the peace and the corresponding brief chatting has actually resulted in her starting a new friendship or two with other ladies she didn’t previously know. It is said of my wife that she has “never met a stranger”, so she is one of those (apparently rare) people who genuinely looks forward to the sharing of the peace.

so try to fix that! I used to be very polite to anyone reaching out to me to shake hands of course, but hated it, from strangers. would have loved to chat after mass…

Only human contact? I get more humanity at supermarket checkouts and from chatting with other customers,

 

[cominghome1966]

so try to fix that! I used to be very polite to anyone reaching out to me to shake hands of course, but hated it, from strangers. would have loved to chat after mass…

Only human contact? I get more humanity at supermarket checkouts and from chatting with other customers,

It wasn’t simply “only human contact.” It was “only physical touch.”

 

[cominghome1966]

I find it very sad that there is so much animosity toward this, and some of the attitudes I find in this thread are actually quite disturbing. I understand now why some people think Catholics are cold & uncaring.

I totally agree! Very disturbing.

The sign of peace happens right before communion because we are supposed to recognize the body of Christ. ALL of it. Not just the consecrated host.

 

[pnewton]

Nope. We still have the sign of peace. I love it!

 

[pianistclare]

Nope. We still have the sign of peace. I love it!

It’s a big deal at our parish. I gather most of you would hate it.
But all of the pastors we’ve ever had love it.Those who do not enjoy this, tend to sit way off from everyone and give a cursory nod.
I myself find it occurs at an awkward place, and I remember when the new translation was coming through there were all kinds of rumors that “they” were going to shift it to sometime before the Kyrie.
But honestly, I don’t think there’s any disrespect going on. For how can we disrespect Christ when we’re also called to see Christ in each other? That makes no sense.
No one in our parish is “running around” but people do cross the aisle if they know the person over there.
I don’t worry about such.
I’m very glad to see people there, participating as a parish family.
There are far worse things going on in some parishes.
It’s part of the liturgy, and our pastor sees fit to keep it, and encourages it.
I defer to his judgment.

 

[exnihilo]

There was a local priest who omitted it. He has since moved. At my parish and other local parishes it is still done and is thankfully fairly reverent. I personally find it a bit out of place and I am not fond of handshaking, which seems to be the common notion of sharing peace.

This thread makes me so sad.

I now understand why so many of our Protestant brothers & sisters think Catholics are cold & uncaring.

I understand all about compromised immune systems, arthritic hands and the like, but the attitude I am seeing is that people just don’t want fellowship with their fellow parishioners.
If you can’t shake hands, is a simple bow of the head and a “peace be with you” really that difficult?

Human kindness and touch and very important. For some, especially the elderly, the only interaction they get with others is at Mass. I would hate to miss an opportunity to share the love of Christ because a vocal minority is out of their “comfort zone”

As a former Protestant one thing I didn’t like in my old church was how much commotion went on before the service and when the right hand of fellowship was offered. It could be described as very friendly but it could also be described as lacking proper reverence. You’ll no doubt find plenty of folks who find Catholic reverence as unfriendly. That doesn’t mean it is wrong to be contemplative and quiet.

 

[Bookcat]

During flu season - it may be determined not to do so. I know that happens often in my Diocese as per the Bishop.

 

[cominghome1966]

I actually see several interrelated ideas going on here.

Idea 1) The argument over whether or not the Sign of Peace should be included in the mass.

Idea 2) What the minimum requirement is to perform the Sign of Peace appropriately.

In my replies, I was actually addressing a third idea:

Idea 3) How to perform the Sign of Peace charitably and generously.

I like the Sign of Peace, but if it were eliminated I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. So I am not concerned about, nor was I addressing, idea 1 above.

 

[Reuben_J]

I actually see several interrelated ideas going on here.

Idea 1) The argument over whether or not the Sign of Peace should be included in the mass.

Idea 2) What the minimum requirement is to perform the Sign of Peace appropriately.

In my replies, I was actually addressing a third idea:

Idea 3) How to perform the Sign of Peace charitably and generously.

I like the Sign of Peace, but if it were eliminated I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. So I am not concerned about, nor was I addressing, idea 1 above.

Again touching on this issue … It is part of the Roman Missal but the celebrant can opt to omit it if he wants to.

Whether we want it included or not would be just personal opinion. I agree that for most people, this is not a big deal. If the celebrant, usually the deacon, says to share peace, people would just follow; if not, nobody would really talk about it after the mass.

However, sharing of peace is just symbolic thus one does not heave to look for a particular Joe who has had that disagreement last week and now is sitting at the extreme back pew, to share peace with.

Again, if we follow the guideline of GIRM which governs the mass, sharing of peace should be kept to the minimum, maybe just to the left and right of you, to avoid distraction, especially if the congregation is large and the cathedral is packed, logistic has to be under some control.

 

[JanetF]

We shake hands at my parish, and at all the churches I’ve been to in the region. I’m also uncomfortable with it – I’m a singer, and touching other people during cold and flu season is a bad idea. If I get sick I can’t work!

When I started going back to church several years ago, I noticed a significant increase in the amount of time I spent ill during the cold season. Since I avoid the chalice in the winter because of germs, and church is the only place I am around sick people, I attribute this to the hand shaking. There once was a woman who spent the whole Mass coughing and blowing her nose into a crushed tissue in her right hand, so when the Sign of Peace came, I folded my hands in front of me and bowed to her. She gave me a look that could have killed me, if looks could do such things. Now I bring hand sanitizer and use it. If it offends someone… well… okay then.

I would not mind in the least bit if my parish did away with this, though I do like that it occasionally gives me a moment to compliment a stranger and make her smile.

I’ve been known to not offer my hand but instead smile and say, “I’ve got a cold, let’s not shake hands and spread the germs any further” and “Peace be with you”. Most people acknowledge good sense.

 

[Faith1960]

I’ve been known to not offer my hand but instead smile and say, “I’ve got a cold, let’s not shake hands and spread the germs any further” and “Peace be with you”. Most people acknowledge good sense.

Do you always have a cold when you say you do?

 

[Cassandra_Lyn]

Frankly, I wish my parish would do away with it. I’m uncomfortable talking to strangers and especially, with my OCD, often have to get out my hand sanitizer afterward. Then I worry I may be offending someone by sanitizing my hands.

The only people you’re going to offend are those lacking common sense. It’s cold and flu season. Take it from this student nurse, you go ahead and sanitize your hands as much as you like.

My favorite thing about Wednesday night mass is because there are about 12 of us and we are spread out we just turn to one another and show a peace sign!

 

[MarkInOregon]

I read your OP and I do understand what you are saying, I just don’t agree.
The Church, in her wisdom, made the change to add the sign of peace, and to put it where it is in the liturgy. She must have seen some sort of wisdom in her decision, and it must still be relevant because it could have been changed when the new edition of the Roman Missal came out. The fact that it did not tells me that the Church thinks it is an important part of the liturgy.

I think it would be more accurate to say restored rather than added. The kiss of peace was a part of the earliest Mass. It is described in Justin Martyr’s First Apology. I guess most here should just be thankful it wasn’t restored as the kiss of peace but instead just as a sign of peace.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[MarkInOregon]

Even if it’s a kiss, as it started out as…

In many cultures today people still often great with a kiss–you know the kind. I don’t mind the sign of peace–I don’t find it disruptive–though I will say I think in restoring this ancient custom–it might have been more appropriate to put it at the time of the offertory. I will say that the angst the sign of peace generates in people amazes me. Perhaps all of us here–the next time we are offered the sign of peace from someone can try to see Christ in them–can see them offering us Christs peace–can see Christ offering us his peace before we go to receive him. The sanctuary veil has been torn in two, God became incarnate, the barrier between God and ourselves has been removed.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[Reuben_J]

In many cultures today people still often great with a kiss–you know the kind. I don’t mind the sign of peace–I don’t find it disruptive–though I will say I think in restoring this ancient custom–it might have been more appropriate to put it at the time of the offertory. I will say that the angst the sign of peace generates in people amazes me. Perhaps all of us here–the next time we are offered the sign of peace from someone can try to see Christ in them–can see them offering us Christs peace–can see Christ offering us his peace before we go to receive him. The sanctuary veil has been torn in two, God became incarnate, the barrier between God and ourselves has been removed.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

Good post.

Exactly why it was changed into a sign of peace (in local custom). What’s important is the sharing of peace which can be done in a local custom. Depending on where they come from, some people do not greet with kisses.

I think that is the point. Some people do not want to be touched and some do. Shaking their hands or giving them hugs would perhaps be considered as infringing.

The other reason I would think is that they feel the process would cause distraction in the mass.

Sign of peace or friendliness is not alien to Christians and in fact a demonstration of their culture in Christ. I think it is a great symbolism to offer peace (GIRM says it is as a sign of unity) especially before we receive Communion.

There had to be a check and balance though - the proper way would be to do it soberly and again, GIRM instruction is for us to do it to the persons that are nearest to us.

 

[fbl9]

I actually see several interrelated ideas going on here.

Idea 1) The argument over whether or not the Sign of Peace should be included in the mass.

Idea 2) What the minimum requirement is to perform the Sign of Peace appropriately.

In my replies, I was actually addressing a third idea:

Idea 3) How to perform the Sign of Peace charitably and generously.

I like the Sign of Peace, but if it were eliminated I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. So I am not concerned about, nor was I addressing, idea 1 above.

idea 3) be how you are when you offer your hand. Keep it small, as in number of persons.
My wife and i give a little peck, hey now that was the old old way, usually the only person behind us a handshake. then it’s time for the Lamb of God. Our former priest encouraged almost a free for all at the sign of peace, thankfully our current priest keeps it proper.

 

[MissBorgia]

I personally would love to see it go. I dont go to Mass to be social…and that is what it erupts into alot. I go to Mass for Jesus. It breaks my concentration on the Mass and it is difficult for me to find it again. I also do not care for the ‘let us greet each other’ in some places and parishes at the start of some Masses. I know some of it is the introvert in me.