Office "group gifts" when no one else contributes

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What do you do when you work at a small office and are in charge (informally, anyway) of ordering gifts from all the office staff, such as sympathy flowers when one of your co-workers loses a close family member?

Where I work (just 8 or 9 co-workers), several have lost a parent or sibling over the few years that I have been here. We have always decided together to send flowers to the co-worker and family. Due to my position, I always order the flowers and put them on my card, then email the receipt to the other staff members so that they can see that I ordered them and chip in for the cost. However, it almost always happens that only a couple of people contribute, so I usually end up footing most of the bill. I never order anything extravagant; I make sure to keep the price so that the cost, evenly divided among everyone, would be $10 to $15 per person.

Maybe we should find a different expression of sympathy when someone loses a loved one? Or maybe there is a better way of tactfully reminding/asking people to chip in? Thoughts?
 
I believe my husband’s office collects money beforehand and then buys what those contributions can afford.
 
In my office, a card will go around for everyone to sign. The card is in an envelope and people contribute whatever they want to the envelope, then the money is used to purchase the gift, flowers, etc.
 
Collect money ahead of time and buy a smaller gift in keeping with the contributions offered.
 
If bereavement flowers are expected, the Administration should order them, put them down as an expense, and turn in a form for reimbursement. The boss can then send around a card for everyone to sign, or simply say “From Your Colleagues at ACME Catechism”.
 
pianistclare said:
If bereavement flowers are expected, the Administration should order them, put them down as an expense, and turn in a form for reimbursement. The boss can then send around a card for everyone to sign, or simply say “From Your Colleagues at ACME Catechism”.
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That’s good, too.
 
You could have a Sunshine fund that everyone gives 5.00 to monthly. Then when something comes up, you could buy a small gift and send a card.
 
jaimeleglise said:
You could have a Sunshine fund that everyone gives 5.00 to monthly. Then when something comes up, you could buy a small gift and send a card.
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Normally, I’d think that was a great idea, but this particular crowd does not sound like cheerful givers.

I’d hate to have to collect for the sunshine fund…
 
Followup question:

Whose idea is it to send things?
The boss? Then the company can reimburse you.
The other staff? Then they can pony up PRIOR to purchase.
You? Stop doing it. They’re riding on your generosity. I remember an episode of Will and Grace ( I know, I know) where it was pointed out that Grace never purchased any gift she just added “and Grace” to Will’s cards. In the future, send a condolence card on your own. You don’t have to represent anyone if it’s not an official function of your job.
 
EnglishTeacher said:
What do you do when you work at a small office and are in charge (informally, anyway) of ordering gifts from all the office staff, such as sympathy flowers when one of your co-workers loses a close family member?
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Stop ordering for the group. Ask the company to pay for flowers for death of immediate family. If they won’t then give the person a card personally or from the group.
EnglishTeacher said:
Maybe we should find a different expression of sympathy when someone loses a loved one? Or maybe there is a better way of tactfully reminding/asking people to chip in? Thoughts?
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Or maybe it’s perceived as being important to you, but others really don’t want or can’t afford to chip in. It might be a relief to them to stop this .“tradition”.

Just ask.
 
1ke said:
Stop ordering for the group. Ask the company to pay for flowers for death of immediate family. If they won’t then give the person a card personally or from the group.

Or maybe it’s perceived as being important to you, but others really don’t want or can’t afford to chip in. It might be a relief to them to stop this .“tradition”.

Just ask.
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Yes, this. We had the same issue in an office where I was the one who volunteered to get contributions. I finally just made an announcement at a staff meeting that we simply were not able to obtain the funds necessary for a gift for so many things.

Several people told me just what was noted above, they did not want to, and many could not afford it. They were relived not to see the “envelope” or “notice” go around.

Just ask is the way to go.

Currently I work at a school where they collect optional social “dues” for $20 a year per person full time or $ 10 part time or under they use for monthly Birthday potlucks to celebrate the birthdays of that month, weddings, birth of a child, and for condolence flowers. It works out well.

Mary.
 
pianistclare said:
If bereavement flowers are expected, the Administration should order them, put them down as an expense, and turn in a form for reimbursement. The boss can then send around a card for everyone to sign, or simply say “From Your Colleagues at ACME Catechism”.
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This is the most sensible.

As for birthdays, the most sensible solution I have heard was a policy by which the birthday boy or girl was *expected *to bring their own cake. This group worked at a school, so the guy with the birthday that fell when everyone was on break brought his cake in either at the end of the school year or when school started.
 
When I worked in an office setting, everyone would just contribute what they could/ wanted to and then flowers or a gift would be bought using whatever was collected. It got quite expensive- it seemed like there were always baby showers, deaths, weddings, etc and I didn’t really have the money at the time- I usually tried to give about $5. People who have families and/or are trying to pay of student loan debt and mortgages, etc don’t always have $10 to $15 to spare for every event that comes up.

I would simply ask everyone to contribute whatever they would like by a certain date, and then make a purchase from that money. If it’s not enough to buy some nice flowers, a gift card to a place where the bereaved can get takeout, or something like that might be thoughtful. Then again, there is always the option of just signing a card. In my recent experience with a death in the family, bosses were the ones who sent flowers.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
In my office, a card will go around for everyone to sign. The card is in an envelope and people contribute whatever they want to the envelope, then the money is used to purchase the gift, flowers, etc.
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That’s what they did where I used to work. No one kept track of who put what amount in. Whatever was there, that’s what was used. Don’t know if owner of company contributed last or what.

It was kind of funny because whenever it was your birthday, a bunch of people you never met before would stop by and say happy birthday, as they also picked up a piece of cake. 😉
 
EnglishTeacher said:
What do you do when you work at a small office and are in charge (informally, anyway) of ordering gifts from all the office staff, such as sympathy flowers when one of your co-workers loses a close family member?

Where I work (just 8 or 9 co-workers), several have lost a parent or sibling over the few years that I have been here. We have always decided together to send flowers to the co-worker and family. Due to my position, I always order the flowers and put them on my card, then email the receipt to the other staff members so that they can see that I ordered them and chip in for the cost. However, it almost always happens that only a couple of people contribute, so I usually end up footing most of the bill. I never order anything extravagant; I make sure to keep the price so that the cost, evenly divided among everyone, would be $10 to $15 per person.

Maybe we should find a different expression of sympathy when someone loses a loved one? Or maybe there is a better way of tactfully reminding/asking people to chip in? Thoughts?
Click to expand...
This is why I no longer contribute to or organize company/team gifts. I send a card, flowers or whatever on my own. That way, I spend exactly what I can afford and I don’t have to worry about having to try to collect from others. The times I was involved with it in the past ranged from ridiculous to brutal. One person complained about my suggested $5 donation and refused to give more than $2 (this was for a coworker who lost her husband the week she found out she had cancer). On a couple occasions my manager asked me to pay for something via my expense account (I miss those days), then after nobody would contribute, he told me he wouldn’t approve my reimbursement thereby sticking me with the whole cost (I don’t miss that manager). We had one person who, after the gift was given, would send out an email telling who had given, and how much. I had switched to sending gifts on my own by the time she came around so based on her emails, I looked like a real heel. Thankfully, the people I’d sent things to came to my defense when she confronted me over it. She’s another one I don’t miss.
 
In my younger days, I use to be a generous contributor. However, whenever it was my turn to receive, it always seem to be the time everyone was strapped for cash and I barely got anything in return.

Now it is out of principle. I do not give because there is always an injustice sooner or later

Angie
 
If the company does not want to pay for these type of expenses then there needs to be a set policy of cards only.

It is easy and fair and nobody gets left out. Just pass the card around to everyone for notes/signatures. Every employee then knows that they don’t have to donate and also that they won’t be receiving anything. It takes a lot of pressure away from the situation. Everyone is treated equally.

If you personally want to send flowers, etc, you still can, but on your own.
 
A man just retired form Joe’s work.
Yesterday.
The only reason he knows is because the guy shook his hand and said "come visit me when you retire.

Nothing said. No goodbye, no cake, no card. They simply didn’t tell anyone.

I think congratulations, condolences, and well wishes are very important for morale.
Even if it’s something small.

This guy was one of Joe’s few friendly co-workers.
He will be sorely missed, but he’ll never know now. 😦
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
In my office, a card will go around for everyone to sign. The card is in an envelope and people contribute whatever they want to the envelope, then the money is used to purchase the gift, flowers, etc.
Click to expand...
This is what we do in my office also–but flowers for a worker who has lost someone would be paid for by our office.

The peace of Christ,
Makr
 
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