Oh My LORD...I Did It Again...Porn & Masturbation

[Neithan]

You know, this might just be the hardest part of believing in God to me. It just seems crazy to me that masturbation could be a mortal sin. I have been seeking to find a way back to Catholicism for many years now, but then I come back upon threads like these, and my heart just drops. There’s no way I could ever see myself following Catholic teachings, and I have serious doubts as to how well anybody else can follow them either. It seems like a whole different universe apart from the reality where I live.

I was raised Catholic and had problems with masturbation since the age of 7. I think when I was 8 or 9 I managed to go almost 2 weeks without playing with myself, and I think that still stands as my lifetime record of abstinence.

And it’s not like I consider myself some kind of sex addict or someone with an addictive personality. Quite the opposite.

I just hate coming upon stories like this because they make me feel so hopeless about trying to believe that God actually exists, or even if He did, that I could ever be reconciled with him. This hardline teaching on mortal sin also seems to have really gotten out of control.

This is interesting because I attribute my conversion to the Catholic Church (when I was 21) to just these “hardline” teachings. In the Lutheran church I grew up in, they had softened all of their moral guidelines, and masturbation had become something tolerated. I grew up being taught that it was normal and healthy, but I always had an intrinsic guilt over it, and I didn’t know why.

When I read Persona Humana about 7 years ago (I was 20 at the time), I felt an immense sense of relief. Here was truth! Plain, unsullied, confident, truth. When I went on to read about how the Church teaches that Jesus can truly free us from our sins, rather than just ‘cover them up’ like Protestants teach, a real hope grew in me. I was so attracted to the goodness of the Church, the purity of her morality, and the awesome authority with which she teaches it. This tremendously strengthened my faith in God, Who, if He is, must be perfect, and loves us so much that He wants us - and will make us - perfect, through Christ (Matthew 5:48).

 

[HisGrace1967]

I would just like to thank everyone for the comments…good, not so good, and indifferent. I would like to thank you guys for the links as well. They have lots of information for me and the sites are great… Well, tomorrow I’m going to confession and will partake in the Eucharist. Thanks again…Peter

 

[Fragile]

Really? I can see that maybe happening with Protestants, where Scripture, sermons, songs and fellowship is the entirety of the church service. But a Catholic would still want to partake in the sacrifice of the Mass and the sacraments.

I suppose it was more so w/them, but I’ve seen a few Catholics as well.

I don’t know man, I feel rather lost in what direction to go, so many voices, so many choices…

Ya know, you just made a rather compeling arguement for the CC there, I mean what am I really missing at a Protestant service that I can’t get at a 12 step group?

 

[sean1i0]

Well, first I want to tell you that my prayers are with you. I, too, struggled with that sin for a very, very long time. It really was the main thing that kept me away from the Church for the longest of all my many sins. I think, personally, it all stemmed back to a rationalization of the truth. I knew in my heart of hearts that what the Church was saying was right, even if I didn’t understand it, and, so, I knew that masturbation and pornography were wrong, but every time I was tempted I rationalized it away so that I could sin again even though I knew that after I did it I would feel wrong about it again. After all, we can only convince ourselves so much of a rationalization.

And in all of those years of rationalizing sin away I used all of the standard attempts and some not-so-standard ones as well: That it was “healthy,” that surely Jesus couldn’t mean that, the “why would he have given me those desires if they were wrong” argument, etc., etc., etc. But the truth was in Christ’s Church and I knew it even if I wouldn’t admit it. For me the watershed moment was when I accepted the Churches authority and knew that I could never rationalize it again. Now, I don’t know if that will help you, but I hope it will. Also, what others have said: Stay away from the source of temptation. For me that meant staying away from the computer almost completely for a very long while. But it does get better! That’s the good news!

To all of those out there who think that this is just unrealistic, I, and many others, are here to tell you that it is not. God has generously poured out his graces to get me through it. Keep faith in Jesus Christ and His holy Bride - the Church. He will get you through it all!

In Christ,
Sean

 

[losh14]

sexual release is really a natural thing. It takes supernatural strength to resist it and control it.

I appreciate that it is natural, but I don’t think it requires supernatural strength to resist, at least for most of us. Like most behaviors, it can be built into something terribly difficult to overcome, but without that habitual enforcement one should have the ability to control it.

You are precious child of God, and Jesus loves you, no matter what you do.

Indeed, His Love endures forever.

The Catholic Church teaches that masturbation is a mortal sin, that a single fully willed decision to masturbate, has as its direct effect, the destruction of our union with God, such that eternal torture in hell awaits us were it not for God’s great grace

Up to here you’re correct…

of giving us a second chance in confession where we have to give an accounting to a priest of the exact number of times we masturbated.

and you’re a bit off here. In Confession, we don’t need lurid details - “I masturbated” will suffice. And the Catechism (which I left at home) teaches that the gravity of guilt can be lessened by force of habit, though we are to strive to live a life of chastity that treats sex as a gift to be shared with our spouse.

Or if we choose not to do this, we can burn for eternity, where the worm doesn’t die, and the fire is NEVER quenched. It is dangerous to be a Catholic indeed. This why I take the view that all is well; that I will in time see clearly the evil of masturbation, even if it takes me beyond this lifetime.

This I don’t understand. You believe that in time you will clearly see the evil of masturbation, but you don’t see it yet, so you don’t feel the need to avoid it. If the Church is correct, is six seconds of pleasure worth the risk of an eternity of suffering? Is that pleasure or even release worth it?

I take one step forward at a time. going at my own very slow pace, and hope the Lord will understand.

If you’re held accountable for what you know to be true, how do you justify a pace slower than your knowledge?

 

[losh14]

You know, this might just be the hardest part of believing in God to me. It just seems crazy to me that masturbation could be a mortal sin.

The radical thing about Catholic teaching is that it is so counter-cultural. Where we may see ourselves (either because of culture or another pressure) as sexual beings, the Church sees us as loving beings in a fallen state created to serve and love God above all else. Whatever is selfish takes us away from God.

It was a tough one for me, too, and it’s something I still struggle with (as you can tell from my posts) but I know that God calls us to be loving and holy. The separation from sin and conforming our lives to Jesus are two parts of the journey that are really very unified but can look incongruous in our lives.

Douglas Adams, a noted atheist (and a favorite author of mine), decried humanity as a group of people who nailed a man to a tree because he told us that we should try being a little nicer to one another. That’s the easy way of looking at Jesus - He taught us to be more selfless, more giving, more loving.

The harder part to swallow is a call to Holiness. If you keep your eyes on the Lord, in theory, you won’t desire Sin. In practice, you desire to sin. Because we have hard hearts, we need it written down and so religion becomes very codified. This discourages some from approaching a loving Jesus because it seems like there are too many rules, and encourages others to go off on their own path to find Him and find a “simple” religion - which I’ve often noticed brings up the same discussions over and over again.

Jesus did try to simplify - summing all the Commandments into what we call the Golden Rule. So do more rules break apart His teaching? No, they’re just inevitable.

I have been seeking to find a way back to Catholicism for many years now, but then I come back upon threads like these, and my heart just drops.

Why does your heart drop? Ask yourself - does masturbation help you to follow Jesus? What does He want from us in the way of our sexuality? If it seems too complex, then ask where in the Golden Rule masturbation fits in. It’s a selfish act, and one thing that helps me to keep away from doing it is that I can’t know whether the girls I’ve looked at online are doing this out of their own free will. How many are slaves? How many are drugged? How many are just so poor that they need this to sustain themselves?

There’s no way I could ever see myself following Catholic teachings, and I have serious doubts as to how well anybody else can follow them either. It seems like a whole different universe apart from the reality where I live.

This is a challenge - Catholicism doesn’t call us to stay as we are but to change. And it’s not about how well we can follow them, but trying to get there. No one is expected to live without sin - in fact Scripture tells us that he who is without sin deceives himself. We need Jesus - as a model for how to live, but most importantly as a Savior who forgives us when we inevitably err.

 

[maolszewski]

Praying to Mary until the power of the temptation subsides has been a big help to me. Also, resisting the temptation is suffering that pleases God, and you can offer that suffering for the good of someone else who is in some sort of need. This will help you to take your attention off of yourself. Also call to mind that anyone you may be fantasizing over is a beloved child of God. Pray for purity for this person also. Hope this helps! The more you resist, the stronger man in Christ you will become.

This post was VERY helpful, I never thought about temptation in this way, but it makes so much sense. Bless you!