Oh no mom is lying to me again... how can I change that?

[confusedgirl]

So my mom told me that I can’t go to mass anymore… -.- this time the excuse was the sign of the cross represents the mark of the beast. That is sort of why i dislike being a part of her church. Its lies after lies and i think she really wants to discourage me from converting.

The worse part is that im thinking about becoming a nun… So i have to convert. She would never let me become a nun if I told her. My younger brother is also considering the priesthood. In my opinion she knows nothing about the church and she won’t even give it a chance. Ive heard her insult the priesthood and it really brings my brother down. She wont let us go to any non protestant church but it never feels like home no matter where I do.

What more can I tell her to change her mind? Shes so stubborn. Next week is the easter vigil i had the chance to be part of this year but wasnt. I really want to be in the next one and i really want her to be there… But this is someone who told me I was wrong when I said Jesus founded the catholic church. (she told me constantine) I have trouble explaining Mary to her. It makes sense to me but when I try to tell her she makes it sound like something else. What more can I do?

 

[1ke]

If you are a minor, you will need to wait until you are 18 and then you can join the Church. Your mother cannot stop you from becoming a Catholic when you are an adult. You need to respect your parents wishes while you are a minor. You should talk this situation over with your priest when you are able.

 

[CountrySteve]

Had this same problem, i wanted to be Catholic at 16, but my mom would not let me, so i had to wait till i became 18 and now im converting, but take my advice, all the ‘proofs’ won’t necessarily work, you can lead a horse to water and make it drink, show the faith my example and always be charitable, and she’ll see the Truth. God bless

 

[Sacredheart1208]

I felt called to the Catholic Church at 15 and I started going to mass each Sunday. Of course my parents didn’t come with me and I went to most of them alone. I was baptized with my parents permission and had first communion. I am being confirmed this Easter and I am very excited. Protestants have been known to put down and to say untrue things about the church. All you need to do is keep a calm head and explain what everything means. The sign of the cross is nothing more than blessing ourselves in the name of the holy Trinity. I would suggest talking to your priest and having him talk with you and maybe invite your mother to listen to what he has to say maybe? Worth a shot? Wonderful that you want to be a nun, I’ll pray for your discernment. Hopefully by the grace of God you will be able to become Catholic. You will need to talk to your priest to see how you can become a catholic. I know you need a parent to pay and to authorize for confirmation and for RCIA you need to be an adult but maybe you can get it! Anything is possible with God! Have fun!

 

[Randy_Carson]

So my mom told me that I can’t go to mass anymore… -.- this time the excuse was the sign of the cross represents the mark of the beast.

The Sign of the Cross
By Bryant Burroughs
catholic.com/thisrock/1990/9007cc.asp

Despite their rebellion against the Catholic Church five centuries ago, Protestants agree with Catholic in recognizing the cross as the unique symbol of Christianity. Many place the symbol of the cross upon their Bibles, pulpits, steeples, and car bumpers.

Yet most Protestants reject the idea of placing the sign of the cross upon themselves. This rejection fails to recognize that the sign of the cross is an ancient and scriptural help to Christians.

The sign of the cross reflects biblical reality. The cross of Christ is the crossroads of history and the central event of Scripture. Just as in the Church year Good Friday stands between Advent and Easter, so the Crucifixion stands between the Incarnation and the Resurrection.

Scripture teaches that the purpose of the birth of the Son of God was to die. He came to redeem, ransom, and restore a people–his church. We should place the cross on ourselves as a reminder of the reality of the Crucifixion.

John Chrysostom, bishop of Constantinople in the fourth century, recognized the biblical nature of the sign of the cross. He encouraged his flock, “When, therefore, you sign yourself, think of the purpose of the cross, and quench any anger and all other passions. Consider the price that has been paid for you.”

It may be asked: If the sign of the cross is rooted in biblical reality, why have “Bible-believing” Protestants rejected the sign?

The answer lies in the Reformation principle of sola scriptura. Nothing not explicitly mentioned in Scripture is to be accepted. Protestants cling fiercely to this principle even though it isn’t itself mentioned in Scripture. Catholics reject the principle and look to the Church to explain biblical truth. This same Church has taught the usefulness of the sign of the cross for centuries:

The early Christian apologist Tertullian wrote, “In all our travels and movements, in all our coming in and going out, in putting on our shoes, at the bath, at the table, in lighting our candles, in lying down, in sitting down, whatever employment occupies us, we mark our forehead with the sign of the cross.”

Athanasius, the great bishop of Alexandria who almost single-handedly stood for Christian orthodoxy against the powerful Arian heresy, taught his flock that “by the sign of the cross…all magic is stayed, all sorcery confounded, all the idols are abandoned and deserted, and all senseless pleasure ceases, as the eye of faith looks up from Earth to heaven.”

Cyril of Jerusalem echoed Tertullian as he encouraged the Church: “Let us not be ashamed to confess the Crucified. Let the cross, as our seal, be boldly made with our fingers upon our brow and on all occasions over the bread we eat, over the cups we drink, in our comings and in our goings, before sleep, on lying down and rising up, when we are on the way and when we are still.”

The great bishop of Cappadocia, Basil, taught that the sign of the cross was a tradition the originated with the apostles, “who taught us to mark with the sign of the cross those who put their hope in the name of the Lord.”

Even Martin Luther urged his followers to use the sign. In his Catechism of 1529 he instructed fathers to teach their households the following: “In the morning, when you rise from bed, sign yourself with the holy cross and say, ‘In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.’…At night, when you go to bed, sign yourself with the holy cross and say, ‘In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.’”

The Christian who rejects the sign of the cross is rebelling against his own roots and is guilty of what C. S. Lewis called “chronological snobbery” about the superiority of modern thinking. Instead we should learn from our fathers, thereby heeding the wisdom of Bernard of Chartres, who recognized that the history of the Church Church enables us to be “dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants.”

(cont.)

 

[Randy_Carson]

Southern philosopher Marion Mont-gomery writes of the need to recover “known but forgotten things.” We Christians, being finite and fallen, must be reminded who we are: subjects and children of the Lord. “We have the mark of the cross upon our souls,” wrote Augustine, and placing the sign upon ourselves reminds us of this truth.

In his classic Screwtape Letters, Lewis revealed remarkable insight into the nature of mankind. As a senior devil in the Lowerarchy of Hell, Screwtape writes to a junior tempter, Wormwood, with helpful hints on how unsuspecting human beings may be lured by temptation.

One counsel from Screwtape concerns the relationship between body and soul, in particular the relationship between prayer and kneeling. He says: “At the very least, [humans] can be persuaded that the bodily position makes no difference to their prayers, for they constantly forget, what you [Wormwood] must always remember, that they are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls.”

Lewis’s point is profound: Kneeling reminds us to whom we are praying, thereby prompting us to be more prayerful. In the same way, making the sign of the cross reminds us of the one who bought us with his own body, and that reminder prods us toward holiness.

As justification of their rejection of the sign of the cross, Protestants point to perceived abuses, such as when a baseball player crosses himself before stepping into the batter’s box. Aside from the difficulty of determining motives of another individual, such arguments forget that many good things are abused and counterfeited, yet we do not reject them.

Augustine answered this fallacious reasoning sixteen centuries ago by teaching that “abuse does not negate use.” Improper use of an object does not mean we abandon its proper use–and so we Catholics will reject Protestant prejudice and will continue to place upon ourselves the holy sign of the Triune God.

 

[SuperLuigi]

So my mom told me that I can’t go to mass anymore… -.- this time the excuse was the sign of the cross represents the mark of the beast. That is sort of why i dislike being a part of her church. Its lies after lies and i think she really wants to discourage me from converting.

The worse part is that im thinking about becoming a nun… So i have to convert. She would never let me become a nun if I told her. My younger brother is also considering the priesthood. In my opinion she knows nothing about the church and she won’t even give it a chance. Ive heard her insult the priesthood and it really brings my brother down. She wont let us go to any non protestant church but it never feels like home no matter where I do.

What more can I tell her to change her mind? Shes so stubborn. Next week is the easter vigil i had the chance to be part of this year but wasnt. I really want to be in the next one and i really want her to be there… But this is someone who told me I was wrong when I said Jesus founded the catholic church. (she told me constantine) I have trouble explaining Mary to her. It makes sense to me but when I try to tell her she makes it sound like something else. What more can I do?

I would bring your concerns (and those about your younger brother) to a priest if possible. A priest can help you in your vocation formation.

Otherwise, I’ve heard a particular priest (Fr. Bannon, who specializes in vocation questions) answer a similar question that you do have a responsibility toward your parents in the sense of obeying them, unless of course you know it’s wrong.

You also may want to avoid in depth discussion about religion with your mother for now.

 

[zz912]

Be respectful, and if you are a minor, honor her wishes. If you are of majority age, show your faith by your actions and example, and don’t worry so much about argument with her. Let her see you carry out your Catholic faith with your acts, prayers, and tending to your duties.

As to discussing the faith with her, the only two things I can offer are:

use the Socratic method of continually asking questions to make the other person defend their position (like her claim of the sign of the cross being the mark of the beast, ask her to specify where she finds the definition of the mark, when did the sign begin, why hasn’t the rest of Revelation come to pass since the sign has been used for 2000 years?, etc)

remember that you will always suffer from “powdered-butt syndrome” with your mother. This is pretty universal, and what it means is that once you have changed the diaper of someone, you no longer want their opinion about major life issues. It is very tought to overcome, so just live out your faith in action, not words.

 

[confusedgirl]

If you are a minor, you will need to wait until you are 18 and then you can join the Church. Your mother cannot stop you from becoming a Catholic when you are an adult. You need to respect your parents wishes while you are a minor. You should talk this situation over with your priest when you are able.

I am 18 and I was talking about RCIA in September when I’m in college. I will most likely be away from home as well. she said if I’m going to be catholic I can do it as long as I’m living at home. that would mean 4 months of summer vacation I won’t be able to go to mass and I don’t want to do that. when I told her I don’t want to do that she got furious and told me to leave the house. I got scared and I went to a friends house. then I seriously considered getting a job and finding a place to live because I didn’t think she wanted me coming back. after 3 days she called my friends mom and basically told me to come back home.

when I got back she was furious again because my school called social services and she was going to get in trouble for telling me to leave and any other hurtful things she says to me or my brother. my brother is a minor and he could get taken away and when I told him this he was happy. then all of a sudden she said Catholics are Christians and I won’t stop you from going to church so she let me go and all of a sudden she’s changed her mind again.

it’s not exactly fair that I can become baptist, Pentecostal, or any other type of Protestant but when it comes to Catholicism that’s a big no. and at 18 I think I should get to choose my own faith as well. she gets mad at me when I’m not like the other Pentecostal 18 year olds and lifting up their hands and rolling on the ground and singing very loudly. she tried forcing me into her church choir three or four times and I can’t stand the loud music and singing I really can’t. I’m excepted to respect her beliefs but eversince I was 8 ive wanted to be catholic.

long story short, even if I’m 20 she doesn’t want me as a catholic and living at home and I can’t afford to get my own apartment right away. I’d like to have her support but it’s clear that I won’t get it.

 

[confusedgirl]

Be respectful, and if you are a minor, honor her wishes. If you are of majority age, show your faith by your actions and example, and don’t worry so much about argument with her. Let her see you carry out your Catholic faith with your acts, prayers, and tending to your duties.

As to discussing the faith with her, the only two things I can offer are:

use the Socratic method of continually asking questions to make the other person defend their position (like her claim of the sign of the cross being the mark of the beast, ask her to specify where she finds the definition of the mark, when did the sign begin, why hasn’t the rest of Revelation come to pass since the sign has been used for 2000 years?, etc)

remember that you will always suffer from “powdered-butt syndrome” with your mother. This is pretty universal, and what it means is that once you have changed the diaper of someone, you no longer want their opinion about major life issues. It is very tought to overcome, so just live out your faith in action, not words.

I am 18 and I do my best to be respectful. when she wants to go to her church I go and and I sit there respectfully and listen even if I don’t agree with 80% of what I’m hearing. but just sitting there and not dancing and singing in church and speaking in tongues like everyone else is disrespecting her religion.

if I practice my own faith at home she gets so mad which makes it hard.

I could try that but my mom is not a rational person. she’s always right and everyone is wrong always. she can never admit defeat which makes it worse.

 

[confusedgirl]

I would bring your concerns (and those about your younger brother) to a priest if possible. A priest can help you in your vocation formation.

Otherwise, I’ve heard a particular priest (Fr. Bannon, who specializes in vocation questions) answer a similar question that you do have a responsibility toward your parents in the sense of obeying them, unless of course you know it’s wrong.

You also may want to avoid in depth discussion about religion with your mother for now.

I usually try to avoid conflict over religion but it really is inevitable. if I don’t act like everyone in a Protestant church on Sunday then she sits down and talks to me and calls me an atheist and what not. it’s really hurtful and when I try explaining my beliefs she won’t hear of it. I could try a priest but where to begin?

 

[zz912]

I am 18 and I do my best to be respectful. when she wants to go to her church I go and and I sit there respectfully and listen even if I don’t agree with 80% of what I’m hearing. but just sitting there and not dancing and singing in church and speaking in tongues like everyone else is disrespecting her religion.

if I practice my own faith at home she gets so mad which makes it hard.

I could try that but my mom is not a rational person. she’s always right and everyone is wrong always. she can never admit defeat which makes it worse.

It seems you have found one of the major crosses you will have to endure in your life. Life is not fair, and Jesus promised us that it would NOT be fair. This is tough, but every day you must make the decision to take up your cross, and endure this behavior from your mother while you are at home. Offer it up to Christ as penance for her.

As to attending church with her, ask her to have a conversation over a cup of coffee, outside of your usual environment, maybe a coffee house. Getting out of the old environment can sometimes help to show a change in the relationship and your interaction. Very CALMLY ask her opinion about attending her church with her. Tell her that you wish to be respectful of her, and wish to show her honor, and are willing to attend her church. But you want to be respectful of her, and make sure she is comfortable with this as well. Tell her you understand that you do not want to embarrass her in front of her friends or cause her grief. If she would like you to attend, you will attend and sit reverently and quietly with her, but won’t participate in most of the activities. And tell her the reason, that you don’t want to lie, and if you begin to participate, you would be giving false testimony that you agree with their beliefs and actions. Let her make the decision if she wants you to attend or not.

As for dealing with her when she becomes irrational, that takes some skill. When she gets upset, you have to disengage, and offer to have the conversation at another time when she is not upset nor yelling. You can’t yell also, as it only feeds into the problem.

Hope this helps.