OK for married couple to use vibrators?

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Ok. I’m going to try to answer this by summarising catholic teaching on sex within marriage, as I understand it, in a few sentences.

Feel free to correct me if I get it wrong.

Rule no. 1: The man must always finish inside his wife. There are no exceptions to this rule as far as I can see.

Rule 2: A married couple, with good reason, may make use of periodic abstinence and NFP to plan children, but they should avoid a contraceptive mentality. They must be open to the possibility of life in every sexual act.

Rule 3: In each and every sexual act, the other spouse must be given due respect and dignity as a human person and a child of God. Each spouse should strive to put the other’s satisfaction before their own.

Rule 4. The married couple are not limited in the sexual acts they use to express love to each other, or in the “tools” they use that might help them to attain mutual satisfaction as long as they work within the confines of the other three rules and as ling as each sexual “encounter” is finished as outlined in the first rule.
 
AdamPeter said:
Ok. I’m going to try to answer this by summarising catholic teaching on sex within marriage, as I understand it, in a few sentences.

Feel free to correct me if I get it wrong.

Rule no. 1: The man must always finish inside his wife. There are no exceptions to this rule as far as I can see.

Rule 2: A married couple, with good reason, may make use of periodic abstinence and NFP to plan children, but they should avoid a contraceptive mentality. They must be open to the possibility of life in every sexual act.

Rule 3: In each and every sexual act, the other spouse must be given due respect and dignity as a human person and a child of God. Each spouse should strive to put the other’s satisfaction before their own.

Rule 4. The married couple are not limited in the sexual acts they use to express love to each other, or in the “tools” they use that might help them to attain mutual satisfaction as long as they work within the confines of the other three rules and as ling as each sexual “encounter” is finished as outlined in the first rule.
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People will nitpick, but yes, you summed it up quite nicely.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
People will nitpick, but yes, you summed it up quite nicely.
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Thanks.

I would add to that that in considering purchasing things such as vibrators the couple should consider if their money is going to a business that encourages sinful behaviour.

Also that some sexual acts, as far as I can as certain are borderline or actually involve violating a persons dignity or damaging that person, therefore are always wrong. (e.g Anal sex.)
 
LittleFlower378 said:
Foreplay and showing affection (which is allowed) such as hugging,kissing, or touching areas of the body other than stimulating the genitals are not sexual acts per se. Using a device with your genitals does involve a sexual act.
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Do you honestly think it’s illicit or sinful for a man to touch his wife’s vagina (or a woman to touch her husband’s penis) in the context of the sexual act? I mean, really?

As people have said, we might as well just cover each other in sheets with strategically placed holes and hope that eventually a baby comes out.

Also, I don’t buy the “well, hugging and kissing is fine, because that’s just affection, not a sexual act.” Give me a break. Kissing your grandmother on the cheek is a sign of affection. Hugging a friend you haven’t seen in awhile is affectionate. The type of kissing and embracing that married couples do in bed is a different thing entirely. (At least, I hope so, otherwise you have a VERY strange relationship with your grandmother…;))

Anyway, as to the main question, I personally think it’s fine, provided both spouses enjoy it and it becomes merely an aid to, as opposed to a substitute for, the sexual act.
 
LittleFlower378 said:
That’s right, Mr Conte explains that all of our actions are, every single one, even in the marriage bed, have to be moral. Every act has to have the 3 fonts of morality as he explains.

The device would not have the pro-creative purpose of marital sexual intercourse , as all sexual acts as defined by the Popes have all three
1)marital
2)unitive
3)Pro-Creative

Foreplay and showing affection (which is allowed) such as hugging,kissing, or touching areas of the body other than stimulating the genitals are not sexual acts per se. Using a device with your genitals does involve a sexual act.
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Yeah. But the Popes tend to talk about the “sexual act” to mean not one individual act, but a series of acts that may make up a “session” of sexual activity. This obviously has to end with the man finishing in his wife’s vagina. But each individual action carried out by husband or wife does not actually have to directly be procreative. Technically speaking, a man could go for his own pleasure every single time and the act would still fulfill all the three criteria, and be procreative.
 
Wow, I just don’t know how couples stayed together until the sex-toy industry came along.

:rolleyes:
 
Estevao said:
Wow, I just don’t know how couples stayed together until the sex-toy industry came along.

:rolleyes:
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I’m sure they used aids. And I’m sure women had to “take one for the team” more. Is that ideal and healthy?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
I’m sure they used aids. And I’m sure women had to “take one for the team” more. Is that ideal and healthy?
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Do you have any evidence to back up your assertion that women were dissatisfied before the sex-toy industry?
 
Another question I had for the purveyors of sex-toys ITT is are blow-up dolls ok too? From reading your reasoning I see no reason to think that blow-up dolls are not fine as well.
 
Estevao said:
Another question I had for the purveyors of sex-toys ITT is are blow-up dolls ok too? From reading your reasoning I see no reason to think that blow-up dolls are not fine as well.
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Of course not. You are off topic and no one is a purveyor of sex toys here.
Are you versed in the subject?
 
AdamPeter said:
Yeah. But the Popes tend to talk about the “sexual act” to mean not one individual act, but a series of acts that may make up a “session” of sexual activity. This obviously has to end with the man finishing in his wife’s vagina. But each individual action carried out by husband or wife does not actually have to directly be procreative. Technically speaking, a man could go for his own pleasure every single time and the act would still fulfill all the three criteria, and be procreative.
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Where do the Popes say the sexual act to be a series of acts that make up a session of sexual activity?

“Technically speaking, a man could go for his own pleasure every single time and the act would still fulfill all the three criteria, and be procreative”
I’m not sure what you mean by this?
 
Estevao said:
Why are blow-up dolls not ok if vibrators are? That doesn’t make any sense. They are both sex-toys.
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Perhaps you can work through that on your own head. I doubt this discussion will be productive.
 
Estevao said:
Why are blow-up dolls not ok if vibrators are? That doesn’t make any sense. They are both sex-toys.
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Can you sumarise what about vibrators, or their use, concerns you? Can you identify the “wrong”?
 
Estevao said:
Why are blow-up dolls not ok if vibrators are? That doesn’t make any sense. They are both sex-toys.
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A vibrator used by a married couple to stimulate the clitoris before, during, or after intercourse to help the female achieve an orgasm is not the same as some lonely dude repeatedly ticking his penis in a blow up doll until he achieves orgasm because he has no female partner. Got it now?
 
LittleFlower378 said:
Where do the Popes say the sexual act to be a series of acts that make up a session of sexual activity?

“Technically speaking, a man could go for his own pleasure every single time and the act would still fulfill all the three criteria, and be procreative”
I’m not sure what you mean by this?
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Where did a pope address a “sexual act” on the atomic scale you contemplate?
 
Rau said:
Can you sumarise what about vibrators, or their use, concerns you? Can you identify the “wrong”?
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I thought marriage was between a man and a woman, not between a man, and a woman and a sex-toy. People who support sex-toys are essentially saying to God “You didn’t do a good enough of a job designing this, so we have to improve on it!”.
 
LittleFlower378 said:
Where do the Popes say the sexual act to be a series of acts that make up a session of sexual activity?

“Technically speaking, a man could go for his own pleasure every single time and the act would still fulfill all the three criteria, and be procreative”
I’m not sure what you mean by this?
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I’m not going to touch the first question but re the second, it is certainly possibly, and has happened, that men do not even see pleasing their wives as a goal, they just do their thing, the semen is deposited in the vagina of the wife, who offers it up out of love, but gets no pleasure from the act at all.

Indeed, such a sex act, though licit, would actually often be very uncomfortable, even painful, for the woman, do you think it is licit for her to use some lubricant jelly? Or would this also be prohibited?
 
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