OK, need some advice. What would you do??

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uofl19 said:
Ok, there are actually 3 different speakers talking about basically how men are to be accountable. Such as (spirtual leaders of the house, moral ethics and standards in the workplace and to spread God’s message to others not just between the 4 walls of the Church) that’s the main topics in a nutshell. I think my friend Denny just wants me to go so he can have someone else to bond with. With our busy lives and families he thinks it’s a good opportunity.

To answer the one person’s question about invite him to a Catholic event. I’ve tried and he won’t do it. He says he can’t because of his position in the Church. That’s kind of B.S. if you know what I mean.

I don’t have a Cathecism but I do have the Good NEws Translation St. Joe’s version Bible. Honestly I’m not extremely keen on going. I’m not sure what everything else entails besides the fellowship and the topics discussed but I DON’T want to get suckered into some Benny Hinn type healing or Praise and Worship Rock an Roll type service. That I don’t feel comfortable at all in those type of settings and would likely not participate.
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How does your wife feel about you being Catholic???

You can buy a copy of the CCC:
The CCC can be bought here.

Or you can buy a “compact” verison of the CCC here.
 
Oh by the way Kage, sorry I did not get your parallel, please forgive me I’m a little slow when it comes to jokes and punchlines or even parallel’s to relationships like you were saying. I’m always the last to get a joke.😃
 
We’ve been married 2 years and were together over 2 years before we got married. SO it was something we had to work through. It was harder for her me being Catholic then it was for me her being Evangelical. We do well with each other’s faith. She really likes my Priest at the Catholic Church we attend and I do like her Pastor. I would say out of all the differences between the 2 Churches the one thing more than anything we disagree on is Halloween. Her CHurch in no way celebrates it which I think is a little over the top where I say let the kids have fun as long as they aren’t in Satanic costumes.
 
One other bit of advice-- in addition to bringing a Catechism and a Catholic Bible-- should you decide to go is to make sure there is a Catholic church near where ever the retreat is being held. You are still obliged to attend Mass on Sunday. You could even ask some of the fellow retreat attendees to go to Mass with you, just so they can see what Catholic worship is like. Even if they all decline your offer, you still need to go yourself.
 
uofl19 said:
We’ve been married 2 years and were together over 2 years before we got married. SO it was something we had to work through.
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And at times still working through it, I’m sure. Is she “really happy” that you are Catholic, or do you think she holds out hopes that you convert to her faith? I’m sure that there is apart of you that hold out hope for her conversion 😛
It was harder for her me being Catholic then it was for me her being Evangelical. We do well with each other’s faith. She really likes my Priest at the Catholic Church we attend and I do like her Pastor.
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So you go to both churches regularly??
I would say out of all the differences between the 2 Churches the one thing more than anything we disagree on is Halloween. Her CHurch in no way celebrates it which I think is a little over the top where I say let the kids have fun as long as they aren’t in Satanic costumes.
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I’m sure there is more, however, that’s not the point. Although I would add let the kids have fun as long as they aren’t in Satanic costumes **and **doing things that like playing with a wigi-board. 🙂
 
I think I changed my mind. The more I read about what you think might go on at this retreat, the more I understand not wanting to go. It wouldn’t be a relaxing time, that’s for sure. I’m sure it wouldn’t damage your faith, but as another poster mentioned, it doesn’t look like it’s going to build your faith either.
 
The only thing about bring a catechism with you is that most protestants don’t care what’s in it. It’s not the bible, so they don’t care. ('course, wednesday night church service isn’t in the bible either but they don’t seem to realize that…):rolleyes:

However, I originally suggested that if you don’t want to go don’t go and I still think that’s best.
 
uofl19 said:
To answer the one person’s question about invite him to a Catholic event. I’ve tried and he won’t do it. He says he can’t because of his position in the Church. That’s kind of B.S. if you know what I mean.
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It might be viewed as problematic if the youth pastor went to a Catholic men’s retreat! I don’t mean this in a “tit for tat” way, but if he’s not willing to go on a retreat with you, I wouldn’t bother going on his. Not out of spite, but it makes it seem more like he wants to evangelize you. You have to come to mine, but I can never come to yours. —KCT
 
Dear uofl19,

Don’t go. It’s a set up.

I’m sorry.

May God bless you and keep you in your Catholic faith,

Anna
 
uofl19 said:
I am not the most well schooled in arguments defending faith and I’m afraid if it got into that. That might not go so well.
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Not to make the decision more difficult, but remember, you also represent Christ being a member of his Church. There’s no shame in “not” entering a debate (or event where we may need to defend the Truth) when we are not equipped to. In fact, it may show some spiritual wisdom?

Who knows, this event may be a subtle reminder from Christ to be prepared to defend your faith. 🙂
 
uofl19 said:
Honestly I’m not extremely keen on going.
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This says it all–you don’t want to go, so don’t go. Just thank your friend politely and tell him you’ll pass.

Personally, I wouldn’t go either. My in-laws go to a non-denom church and we’ll go to services with them at Christmas and Easter. We’ll also help out at an event or two each year that they get involved in. That’s it; I wouldn’t join a bible study and I definitely wouldn’t go to an overnight retreat. I get plenty of that from my own parish. If you’re interested in a retreat, check with your parish, they may offer something.
 
Well it seems like more and more as we go along. the overwhelming people think not to go!! To answer some previous questions. I have no idea if there are Parishes around teh retreat site. I doubt it. This thing is in a fairly rural part of Ky. Not near Bardstown where that part of the state is virtually all Catholic. So no way. Also the retreat ends Saturday evening so attending Mass Sunday is not an issue. As for the post about do we attend each other’s Church regularly? YES!! Don’t worry I don’t receive Communion. In fact they only do that on the 1st Sunday of the month and my wife works the nursery so I usually drop her off and go attend Mass during that time.

I appreciate the comments and concerns. My friend has gotten better over the years. He admits he has a hard time with tradition and does not like the papacy, thinks drinking a drop of alcohol is absolutely HORRIBLE!! Does not like what he calls the POWER of the Catholic Church. He is not nearly as versed in Catholicism as others at this Church, especially the Pastor. SO I don’t take his opinions very seriously and I think early on it aggrevated him that I would not leave my faith as he thought 4 yrs ago he might be able to convert me. Now he gives up. So maybe he thinks this would be a great way of trying all over again.
 
1ke said:
I do not understand why you cannot simply tell your friend, “Thank you for inviting me but I am not interested in going.” You don’t need an “excuse”, you just need to tell him you don’t want to go. Period. End of discussion. If he doesn’t quit bugging you then just say, “I appreciate that you want me to go, but I am not going and the subject is closed. Please respect me and my decision by not bringing it up any more.” If he still continues, then you know that he is not as much of a “friend” as you thought.

You owe him no reason or explanation as to why you do not want to go.

And, my other advice is to get involved in your parish and meet people. Join the Knights of Columbus, or bible study, or volunteer for the parish bazaar-- anything that will help you meet solid Catholics and begin to grown in your Catholic faith.
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:yup:

My husband is Lutheran and I am shy in new situations so my first friends here were those in the church he was checking out (we attended both Mass and Services for a couple of years we lived here). At any rate, I started teaching CCD and went to Bible studies at my Parish and started making friends there. Now I have friends there and my husband stopped going to the church he was checking out because it was “wrong” and the church he went to in Phoenix was “right”.

I have friends in other venues as well and many of them are Catholic, we all attend different Parishes or different Masses at the largest Catholic Church in the Archdiocese:)

I personally wouldn’t attend something specific like a Retreat though as I know the theology will be wrong, I wouldn’t worry about someone trying to evangalize me, just picking up some wrong ideas. You don’t need to give him any excuses as to why. I know many of my non-Catholic friends just don’t get it, they have no problem going to any other Protestant church for a retreat or other teaching - they don’t understand the subtle differences in theology that I am not willing to expose myself to.

Brenda V.
 
uofl19 said:
Well it seems like more and more as we go along. the overwhelming people think not to go!! To answer some previous questions. I have no idea if there are Parishes around teh retreat site. I doubt it. This thing is in a fairly rural part of Ky. Not near Bardstown where that part of the state is virtually all Catholic. So no way. Also the retreat ends Saturday evening so attending Mass Sunday is not an issue. As for the post about do we attend each other’s Church regularly? YES!! Don’t worry I don’t receive Communion. In fact they only do that on the 1st Sunday of the month and my wife works the nursery so I usually drop her off and go attend Mass during that time.

I appreciate the comments and concerns. My friend has gotten better over the years. He admits he has a hard time with tradition and does not like the papacy, thinks drinking a drop of alcohol is absolutely HORRIBLE!! Does not like what he calls the POWER of the Catholic Church. He is not nearly as versed in Catholicism as others at this Church, especially the Pastor. SO I don’t take his opinions very seriously and I think early on it aggrevated him that I would not leave my faith as he thought 4 yrs ago he might be able to convert me. Now he gives up. So maybe he thinks this would be a great way of trying all over again.
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Clearly, you know him better then any of us. If you think this is his way of retrying to convert you I would be on guard.

I would be frank with him and ask him… What do you hope that I get out of this seeing I’m Catholic. You know that I’m grounded in my Faith and I will NOT be converting. So what will I get out of this??

Or Okay, I’ll go but I want to make it clear that I am NOT converting. As a matter of fact I’m going to be bring a note book, my Bible and CCC, I’ll be taking notes and will be comparing what I hear to what my Faith teaches. (check and balance)

See what happens…
 
uofl19 said:
. He admits he has a hard time with tradition and does not like the papacy, **thinks drinking a drop of alcohol is absolutely HORRIBLE!! ** Does not like what he calls the POWER of the Catholic Church. .
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Alcohol HORRIBLE??:confused:

Wow. So that must be why Jesus refused to change water into wine at Canaa when his mother asked him to. And that’s why he had grape juice at the last supper.

Oh yeah. It all makes sense now. :confused:
 
Well he got into a pretty heated debate with my wife about the wine/grape juice thing before I even dated my present wife. She told me about that and I think he got torn down in front of the Bible Study group, this was about 10 yrs ago. He still hates alcohol but he may have been convinced by everyone else that his argument was wrong. Denny and I don’t talk much about religion because this is a path we could get pretty huffy with each other about.
 
What others said: Don’t go and get involved with your own parish. This is a setup.
 
uofl19 said:
Well he got into a pretty heated debate with my wife about the wine/grape juice thing before I even dated my present wife. She told me about that and I think he got torn down in front of the Bible Study group, this was about 10 yrs ago. He still hates alcohol but he may have been convinced by everyone else that his argument was wrong. Denny and I don’t talk much about religion because this is a path we could get pretty huffy with each other about.
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Yep, this guy is hard core. And you are wise to be cautious. I have witnessed similar situations and conclude that many Evangelicals chip away at Catholics, gradually making them feel comfortable in mostly social events. I used to go along with it but then I realized that my presence at these events looked like endorsement. Furthermore, I came to resent the underlying attitude that Catholics are not Christian and need to be converted to Christianity. So now I politely decline and participate only in Catholic religious activities.
 
OK, guys. My friend convinced me that noone is going to ask you “Are you saved” or “convert” me. He said if someone did that then you can leave right there on the spot. He said the 3 discussions are all going to be very good. Nothing will be discussing how to evangelize people or anyone antagonizing someone’s beliefs that they are wrong. He said “We’re not Baptists” So then I was afraid about some type of healing praise and worship type stuff where they lay hands on people. He said NO!! We’re not going to bring out the rattle snakes. He promised me it will be fun. Plus how often do we get to do things together anymore with our busy lives. I mean we have been friends since H.School which is 18 yrs. I’m still skeptical a little but maybe I should go and see what it is all about. Free food, and it is out in a rural setting.

He doesn’t understand what I am afraid of. He said you play softball with these guys. He can 100% guarantee not a soul going to question my faith. Most of those guys already know and he is right noone has ever thought I was weird or anything like that.

So will it really harm anything?? I can assure you I’m not going to convert or question my own faith. He said who knows it may make you a better Catholic. The discussions he said are going to be nothing different then it this was a Catholic retreat. They are not going to be about theology as they are going to be more about morality in the workplace, being held accountable as a man to be the spirtual leader of the house and to show your faith by example vs by mouth. So there it is in a nutshell
 
uofl19 said:
OK, guys. My friend convinced me that noone is going to ask you “Are you saved” or “convert” me. He said if someone did that then you can leave right there on the spot. He said the 3 discussions are all going to be very good. Nothing will be discussing how to evangelize people or anyone antagonizing someone’s beliefs that they are wrong. He said “We’re not Baptists” So then I was afraid about some type of healing praise and worship type stuff where they lay hands on people. He said NO!! We’re not going to bring out the rattle snakes. He promised me it will be fun. Plus how often do we get to do things together anymore with our busy lives. I mean we have been friends since H.School which is 18 yrs. I’m still skeptical a little but maybe I should go and see what it is all about. Free food, and it is out in a rural setting.

He doesn’t understand what I am afraid of. He said you play softball with these guys.** He can 100% guarantee not a soul going to question my faith. ** Most of those guys already know and he is right noone has ever thought I was weird or anything like that.

So will it really harm anything?? I can assure you I’m not going to convert or question my own faith. He said who knows it may make you a better Catholic. The discussions he said are going to be nothing different then it this was a Catholic retreat. They are not going to be about theology as they are going to be more about morality in the workplace, being held accountable as a man to be the spirtual leader of the house and to show your faith by example vs by mouth. So there it is in a nutshell
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Can he put that in writing? What I put in the bold. The answer is “NO”, he can’t because he has no control over what others will do.

Has he been to a Catholic Retreat??? Has he seen the speakers at a Catholic Retreat??? How can he say that it will be JUST like a Catholic Retreat???

Okay so you have busy lives… You guys can’t make plans to go to a baseball game or something together??? Truly is this the only weekend that you will be able to spend with your friend??? How much time are you to really going to have to bond??? Granted you may not bond much over baseball game, but there is always going geting a bite to eat afterwards, talking about the game etc. Then there’s the drive to the game and the drive home from the game to bond. The drive to, drive back, and eating you can talk, chill, like in H.S.

Something to think about.
 
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