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kage_ar
Guest
I’d ask him "why are you making such a big deal about going to a CATHOLIC retreat with me? " Seems he wants to have it both ways…
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JezuUfamTobie
Guest
This is simply an issue of personal ability and preference. Now you sound like you want to go.
On a side note, I wish men would hear more in Catholic circles about accountability, morality in the workplace, and being the spiritual leader of the household.
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Eliza10
Guest
I was Evangelical and I agree, some will definately think that.
I don’t think it would be the same. Catholics and Evangelicals are different in this way. Sure, partly its due to the lax Catholics. But Catholcs who know their faith also would be unlikely to be this way too. A good Catholic usually tests the water for receptivity and shares, plants seeds, and does not think its his call to bring the other person to a decision. Probably because our worldview does not divide people so starkly into black and white - completely unsaved and completely saved - and each persons postion therein with God is simply discernable by whether they have taken the salvation decision step as they understand it. Being already saved themselves, they are basically “done” with themselves, so they can trun their attention on what you need to do! Their job now is to save others. Like you. I think it boils down to that. And since many Evangelicals think Catholics are likely to be unsaved, thats why you feel like you are in the spotlight there.
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Al_Masetti
Guest
A few years ago, I got into an office BS session and someone brought up some biblical issue as to how it relates to the Catholic Church. I was sooooo unable to respond at all that I felt publicly humiliated.
Shortly thereafter, I found out about Catholic Answers and “the rest is history”. *
So, since this old thread is still active, my suggestion is that you start educating yourself on the history and teachings of the Catholic Church. My suggestion is to start with books and tracts written by Karl Keating, all available on the CA site.
After that start reading through Peter Kreeft.
And on-line, Cardinal Dulles has some fabulous stuff; here a Web site with some of his recent work:
ratzingerfanclub.com/Dulles/index.html
FINALLY, over the years I have been pressured to join this or that organization or to attend this or that meeting. And when asked bluntly “why aren’t you a member of such and such”… rather than argue, I just replied “I don’t need a reason.” And that seemed to finally stop the most aggressive of my questioners.
In a lot of cases I had nothing against the group or the person(s), but merely that I already had joined a similar group or had already attended a similar meeting and didn’t want to expend precious resources (time, energy and money) with yet another group or meeting.*
Shortly thereafter, I found out about Catholic Answers and “the rest is history”. *
So, since this old thread is still active, my suggestion is that you start educating yourself on the history and teachings of the Catholic Church. My suggestion is to start with books and tracts written by Karl Keating, all available on the CA site.
After that start reading through Peter Kreeft.
And on-line, Cardinal Dulles has some fabulous stuff; here a Web site with some of his recent work:
ratzingerfanclub.com/Dulles/index.html
FINALLY, over the years I have been pressured to join this or that organization or to attend this or that meeting. And when asked bluntly “why aren’t you a member of such and such”… rather than argue, I just replied “I don’t need a reason.” And that seemed to finally stop the most aggressive of my questioners.
In a lot of cases I had nothing against the group or the person(s), but merely that I already had joined a similar group or had already attended a similar meeting and didn’t want to expend precious resources (time, energy and money) with yet another group or meeting.*
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mc366
Guest
From the way it sounds you might attend either St. Martin or St. Louis Bertrand parish. If you want to get to know some other Catholic men, the Knights of Columbus might be a good start ( I know St. Louis Bertrand has a Council).
I don’t know about any good men’s retreats right now, but I know that there is a Catholic Mens Conference(1 day) in Cincinnatti every March that is GREAT (my husband, sons and brothers have been) and there is a group from Louisville that goes to it. There was also one in Indianapolis a couple of weeks ago (described as AWESOME).
If you go on the retreat with your friend, I don’t see that you’ll be in any danger to your faith, especially since you have read all the posts of warnings. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in all you say and do, and to use you if the opportunity comes to help others see the Truths the Catholic Church teaches. If this retreat raises questions in your mind about WHAT you believe and WHY you believe it, let it be a guiding force to help you dive deeper into the knowledge of your Catholic Heritage with the help of some of the excellent resources suggested in other posts.
The retreat will surely contain some good food for thought from a different perspective. Take what is good and throw the rest away!
(UofL Mom)
I don’t know about any good men’s retreats right now, but I know that there is a Catholic Mens Conference(1 day) in Cincinnatti every March that is GREAT (my husband, sons and brothers have been) and there is a group from Louisville that goes to it. There was also one in Indianapolis a couple of weeks ago (described as AWESOME).
If you go on the retreat with your friend, I don’t see that you’ll be in any danger to your faith, especially since you have read all the posts of warnings. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in all you say and do, and to use you if the opportunity comes to help others see the Truths the Catholic Church teaches. If this retreat raises questions in your mind about WHAT you believe and WHY you believe it, let it be a guiding force to help you dive deeper into the knowledge of your Catholic Heritage with the help of some of the excellent resources suggested in other posts.
The retreat will surely contain some good food for thought from a different perspective. Take what is good and throw the rest away!
(UofL Mom)
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Kevin42
Guest
Find something to participate in at your parish the weekend you are supposed to go. That way you don’t have to go, and can tell him you are actually doing something at your church that week. At the same time, perhaps you can meet some new people at your parish.
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ALLFORHIM
Guest
Hi,
I have been to several evangelical retreats(granted Im a woman) but they are still the same. No one caholic bashes and they are usually topics that have nothing to do with doctrine. I believe your friend when he tells you. If the guys already know you and you are deep in your catholic faith then you have nothing to be afraid of.
We have catholic women who come to our retreats and our bible studies and they love it. We dont sit there and say horrible things about the catholic church. We just simply study the word of God on a specific topic. Your topic sounds great and I think you will get alot out of it.
My Catholic friend has retreats at her church and I told her I would go. I know what I believe and I am perfectly comfortable going to a catholic retreat.
I have been to several evangelical retreats(granted Im a woman) but they are still the same. No one caholic bashes and they are usually topics that have nothing to do with doctrine. I believe your friend when he tells you. If the guys already know you and you are deep in your catholic faith then you have nothing to be afraid of.
We have catholic women who come to our retreats and our bible studies and they love it. We dont sit there and say horrible things about the catholic church. We just simply study the word of God on a specific topic. Your topic sounds great and I think you will get alot out of it.
My Catholic friend has retreats at her church and I told her I would go. I know what I believe and I am perfectly comfortable going to a catholic retreat.
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ALLFORHIM
Guest
Hi,
I have to laugh at some of these posts. You think we evangelicals were out to get you. Dont be so afraid of us were are bad people. If you are so deep into catholocism then why should you be afraid to be around people who believe differently but still believe in Jesus Christ as the Messiah?
The way the posts make it sound is like we are invasion of the body snatchers and if you fall asleep WE GOTCHA
C’mon there is nothing to fear. The Lord will protect you from us hethans anyway HEHE
I have to laugh at some of these posts. You think we evangelicals were out to get you. Dont be so afraid of us were are bad people.
If you are so deep into catholocism then why should you be afraid to be around people who believe differently but still believe in Jesus Christ as the Messiah?The way the posts make it sound is like we are invasion of the body snatchers and if you fall asleep WE GOTCHA
C’mon there is nothing to fear. The Lord will protect you from us hethans anyway HEHE
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awantz
Guest
If you really want to go I’d say go ahead and go. Take your bible and when they discuss different topics based on scripture maybe you could mention some scripture from one of the 7 seven books they don’t have. They might actually find it quite intresting.
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abb
Guest
I am sorry if this was already mentioned, but I’m in a hurry and didn’t take the time to read all the replies, just scanned thru them.
Just tell him that you can’t miss Mass, and that it’s a sin. You mentioned it was on the weekend, so I’m assuming Sunday as well. Really simple.
Just tell him that you can’t miss Mass, and that it’s a sin. You mentioned it was on the weekend, so I’m assuming Sunday as well. Really simple.
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Madzi
Guest
Sounds as if the OP’s gut instinct is telling him not to go…and given his admitted poor apologetics, I agree.
Why play on the railroad tracks if you’re not on the train?
And the facts that the best friend won’t go to a Catholic retreat AND is being quite insistent about the OP attending this church’s retreat demonstrate passive/aggressive behavior. MY gut instinct would tell me that something is not quite right and sometimes that “gut” is my guardian angel trying to get my attention.
Skip the retreat, offer to spend time with the pal elsewhere and offer to pray --the Rosary-- for them all.
Why play on the railroad tracks if you’re not on the train?
And the facts that the best friend won’t go to a Catholic retreat AND is being quite insistent about the OP attending this church’s retreat demonstrate passive/aggressive behavior. MY gut instinct would tell me that something is not quite right and sometimes that “gut” is my guardian angel trying to get my attention.
Skip the retreat, offer to spend time with the pal elsewhere and offer to pray --the Rosary-- for them all.
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cmom
Guest
Sounds like you are the token catholic, do you really want to be in that position?
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Proeliator
Guest
Tell your friend if he agrees to go to Eucharistic Adoration for one hour with you that you will go on the retreat. He will probably give you some excuse-then don’t go! If he says yes, then go, but bring a small pocket evangelizer that you read while hiding in the bathroom stalls during break!: 
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syme
Guest
Some one above mentioned taking a New American Bible. Unfortunately, that translation is really not the best despite the USCCB’s insistence on using it for Mass. You’re better off with the Revised Standard Version - Catholic Edition.
By the way, I don’t think the retreat is a bad idea provided you know your own faith well. If not, then I’d recommend going to a solidly Catholic retreat first and reading up about your faith. Then you might actually end up being a good witness to evangelicals and perhaps help them to understand, and hopefully learn to love, the Catholic Church.
By the way, I don’t think the retreat is a bad idea provided you know your own faith well. If not, then I’d recommend going to a solidly Catholic retreat first and reading up about your faith. Then you might actually end up being a good witness to evangelicals and perhaps help them to understand, and hopefully learn to love, the Catholic Church.
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argon091076
Guest
I would definitely go and if they tried anything I would set my ground and make it clear to them that my religion is over 2000 years old and that I still have alot to learn. Then tell them, I am not going to abandon my religion if I have not even given it chance to know it well. Therefore, whenever I finish learning it, if I realize that I do not like being a catholic after all then I might consider their offer for converting. In the meantime I got alot of work to do getting to know my religion. Later tell them that you want to change the subject and dont want to talk about that since it makes you feel extremely uncomfortable. After all if they are true friends they should understand you. If not, then I would definitely be prepared to leave if they insist. If they insist and see that you leave, then you will make it very very clear to them that you had accepted to go because you thought that they were your friends, however, friends dont pressure friends.
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argon091076
Guest
although, thinking about it very well…If I were in your shoes, I would not go and put myself in that position…
It is one thing to get caught off guard than to put yourself in that situation.
If you have a gut feeling that you just dont think it will be confortable, you might as well not go.
If ever you are caught off guard and dont know what to answer, simply reply with a simple true answer that your religion is over 2000 years old, older than many many other ones, probably even the oldest and that you still have plenty of work to do getting to know it. Only after you get to know it well, you will consider their offers…
It is one thing to get caught off guard than to put yourself in that situation.
If you have a gut feeling that you just dont think it will be confortable, you might as well not go.
If ever you are caught off guard and dont know what to answer, simply reply with a simple true answer that your religion is over 2000 years old, older than many many other ones, probably even the oldest and that you still have plenty of work to do getting to know it. Only after you get to know it well, you will consider their offers…
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uofl19
Guest
Boy there are sure a lot of great answers and advice. The 2000yr old Church is great but does anyone have any rebuts that they would have? However, does nayone have any idea what kid of rebut they would have for that? You know they will!! I have until this Sunday to sign up and the following Sunday to pay. I have done neither yet! My friend keeps on me about at least every other day. Saying I will enjoy it and there is not going to be any type of evangelizing. That is not what these retreats are about. I waver back and forth with it. My wife went to a ladies retreat there aout 2 weeks ago. My wife is the type that she likes me at home on the weekends to help out with the kid. She is not discouraging me to go but she is definitely not pushing me either.
To answer one of the previous posters. Yes I do go to St. Louis Bertrand. Maybe later on down the road I would think about joining the KOC but at this point in my life I honestly don’t have a lot of spare time. Especially since the Church isn’t a hop skip and a jump from my house. As for my Catholic Bible, I have the GNT (Good News Translation) Bible. I don’t really think that Bible’s are even needed. If I do go and they tell me to bring a Bible then I obviously will bring that one since it’s the only one I have. Still haven’t made up my mind yet though.
To answer one of the previous posters. Yes I do go to St. Louis Bertrand. Maybe later on down the road I would think about joining the KOC but at this point in my life I honestly don’t have a lot of spare time. Especially since the Church isn’t a hop skip and a jump from my house. As for my Catholic Bible, I have the GNT (Good News Translation) Bible. I don’t really think that Bible’s are even needed. If I do go and they tell me to bring a Bible then I obviously will bring that one since it’s the only one I have. Still haven’t made up my mind yet though.
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argon091076
Guest
If you are caught off guard, just keep repeating the same thing about your church being more than 2000 years old. Another thing you can probably do is just listen to them and try to think about something else…in other words let them talk and maybe pretend that you are listening … just so that you can keep things calm. And while they are talking about their religion, simply pray an Our Father in your mind while they are talking and pray and if they ask you a question and you were not listening then you can repeat “Well, I already said what I think, my church is over 2000 years old. I have plenty of work to do. I am not ready to listen or learn about other religions, therefore, I don’t want to make you waste your time because first of all, before I even listen to what you are saying, I need to get to know my church as much as possible…”
However, if you feel you are not sure about going to this event, then by all means, I would suggest for you not go.
It seems that you are not comfortable going.
Don’t do it if you don’t want to and if you feel forced to do it.
However, if you feel you are not sure about going to this event, then by all means, I would suggest for you not go.
It seems that you are not comfortable going.
Don’t do it if you don’t want to and if you feel forced to do it.
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argon091076
Guest
I think I have another solution/option for you!!!
Why don’t you join some club or organization at your church in which it requires you to contribute your time to it on that particular weekend?
Like, go help clean, or organize something.
This is a perfect excuse and most importantly, you get to help your church!
Why don’t you join some club or organization at your church in which it requires you to contribute your time to it on that particular weekend?
Like, go help clean, or organize something.
This is a perfect excuse and most importantly, you get to help your church!
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losh14
Guest
If you don’t want to go on a retreat, tell your wife and your friend you just don’t want to go. I used to enjoy retreats as a young adult but as soon as I got classified as a “not young, still adult” the retreats just lost their appeal. For me, a good retreat is time spent with the Lord, no one else, because I can talk faith with a number of people but I can rarely find silence in my day.
The last retreat I was invited to (and our parish young adult minister was actually upset that I didn’t go) was focused on a spirituality that I don’t share and don’t have an interest in sharing. If we had instead discussed, say, Kempis “Imitation of Christ” I’d have been more keen on it. But I’m also jealous with my time and the idea of giving up an entire weekend after working 55 or more hours that week (assuming I didn’t bring work home over the weekend) just doesn’t seem right to me. My wife would agree, but my wife’s in a different situation than yours.
So how do you say “no”? Just like that. “I need my weekends, maybe if there were something that was just one evening, a couple of hours, I could do that.” For people who belong to this evangelical community it may not be much different from spending part of the weekend with one group of friends from the congregation and part of it with another group of friends from the congregation. For you, it’s asking you to spend a weekend with people you don’t know well listening to a lot of speakers talk about things you may not be that interested in hearing.
If you really want to appease both your wife and your friend (one is more important than the other obviously), ask if you can listen to one of the other speakers, but promise your wife you’ll work on that project she’s been asking you about the rest of the weekend. Don’t think you can get away with watching football in either case.
Also, go pick up a Catechism and a good collection of the Early Fathers. It’ll help quite a bit.
The last retreat I was invited to (and our parish young adult minister was actually upset that I didn’t go) was focused on a spirituality that I don’t share and don’t have an interest in sharing. If we had instead discussed, say, Kempis “Imitation of Christ” I’d have been more keen on it. But I’m also jealous with my time and the idea of giving up an entire weekend after working 55 or more hours that week (assuming I didn’t bring work home over the weekend) just doesn’t seem right to me. My wife would agree, but my wife’s in a different situation than yours.
So how do you say “no”? Just like that. “I need my weekends, maybe if there were something that was just one evening, a couple of hours, I could do that.” For people who belong to this evangelical community it may not be much different from spending part of the weekend with one group of friends from the congregation and part of it with another group of friends from the congregation. For you, it’s asking you to spend a weekend with people you don’t know well listening to a lot of speakers talk about things you may not be that interested in hearing.
If you really want to appease both your wife and your friend (one is more important than the other obviously), ask if you can listen to one of the other speakers, but promise your wife you’ll work on that project she’s been asking you about the rest of the weekend. Don’t think you can get away with watching football in either case.
Also, go pick up a Catechism and a good collection of the Early Fathers. It’ll help quite a bit.
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