Ok, tell me about beauty

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tau_gamma_pi

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I know that we women have a tendency to make things wayy more complicated than necessary.

This frustrates me: half the time I hear “you’re not beautiful enough, no one’s going to like you if you look like that” and the other half the time I hear “women are vain and immodest and care way too much about how they look.” and then sometimes I get a reluctant “you can wear a nice shirt if you want.”

ok someone please tell me the truth!

I figure, if God gave me the gift of beauty (which he gave to every woman, and if you don’t believe me, you aren’t looking hard enough), it’s wrong of me to say “sorry, God, beauty doesn’t matter” and wear baggy clothes that make my sex ambiguous. Beauty is not evil–look at Judith! (She is my OT hero.) Beauty is something uniquely feminine and as women we ought to show gratitude to our creator for making us beautiful.

Not all beauty is vanity. If I have to be more beautiful than other women, I am vain. But a mere desire for beauty is not vanity. God made us good, so why should we not desire beauty? Beauty is good.

Of course, there’s a difference between wearing a fitted, flattering, feminine shirt and a skin-tight, painted-on bikini. It’s important to know that our creator (and father and lover, etc.) finds us captivatingly beautiful, and to be confident enough in this that we don’t need the attention drawn by the bikini, that we don’t panic about our looks if we dress down to paint the garage or just got in from the gym.

Really, the bikini screams “SEX!” so loudly it’s going to distract from your real beauty.

Some people say “real beauty is entirely internal and external beauty is vanity/distraction.” This is nearly gnostic. We are physical beings, too.

God made us (women) beautiful, and part of our problem with the Fall is insecurity about our beauty: we have a tendency either to hide our beauty and say it doesn’t matter (people like me who spent a long time dressing like a drowned rat) or to flaunt our beauty. It’s not a societal thing–Helen’s face turned 1,000 ships, Judith seduced Holofernes to death, etc. Beauty isn’t “a problem with today’s society” because first, beauty isn’t a problem (though corruptions of it are) and it isn’t merely “today’s society.”

Okay. Discuss.

PS Men can look nice too but beauty is very different from women.
 
Great topic for discussion! This is something I struggle with to find the proper balance.

In my younger days, I was clearly vain at times and didn’t give modesty much thought. (My vanity alternated with self-doubt, but looking good helped build up my ego–in the wrong way.) As I got older, started a family and grew in my faith, I over-compensated towards frumpy. I eventually figured out that looking frumpy doesn’t help my marriage. I corrected the frumpy. I can still feel vain at times but this happens less as I get older.

Some of our society’s definition of beauty is tied with youth, which I can’t regain. In one sense, it’s easier to control my vanity with aging. (I’m too practical for plastic surgery, plus I’ve seen the results of one-too-many surgeries on some former beauties.:eek:) As I age, I see that outward beauty is a nice thing, but it is temporary just as most things in this world. That helps put it in its proper perspective.

Beauty is a gift from God. I think proper balance includes taking care of ourselves while giving God His credit. Failing to take proper care of ourselves can swing into the sin of sloth (vs. the sin of vanity.) “Proper care” is vague, but it should take into account one’s state in life and include basic hygiene as a bare minimum, regular hair cuts & clothing that fits both the person and the occassion.

I’m interested in following this discussion and reading other people’s thoughts.
 
I think this is much harder for very young women, especially if you are unmarried. The best perspective is to remember that your external beauty reflects the inner you, and so your own unique beauty may be different than another woman’s. If you can remember that, then you will be less likely to fall prey to feelings of inadequacy by comparing yourself to a cultural ideal. Another thing to remember is that beauty is a reflection of both your physical and emotional health. The more you take care of yourself, the better you reflect your own unique beauty. Think of yourself like a plant; you want to be like a healthy, full version of yourself, but a fern will always appear different than ivy.

If you are the best version of yourself you can be, you will attract a mate who loves you for who you are, not who you are trying to be.

Another thing to keep in mind always is that external beauty, like our physical health, is transitory. The beauty of the soul is eternal. Even when your health fades here on earth, your inner beauty can abound.

I don’t think you can go wrong if you are taking care of your appearance becaues it reflects your inner vitality and is a way to share your vitality with people you encounter. If you are taking care of your appearance to tempt men, or to get their approval, then you’ll have problems, but not if you are simply taking care of yourself.
 
You want to see beauty? Look at a picture of Mother Theresa. Look at the young women who are now in her order. Those are the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.
 
I usually think that Brigitte Bardot, Pamela Anderson, Anna Nicole are the most beautiful (appearance wise) because they aren’t afraid of their looks and proud.
 
kage_ar said:
You want to see beauty? Look at a picture of Mother Theresa. …
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I certainly cannot dispute the beauty of Mother Theresa’s soul. When I was a young woman, the example of Mother Theresa as a picture of holiness didn’t inspire me to want to be holy because I wanted to be *outwardly *beautiful too. I guess I was a bit shallow and vain.:o All the pictures I saw of Mother Theresa showed an old woman–a very holy old woman–but an old woman none-the-less whose outward appearance wasn’t exactly the look I wanted for myself.

There’s another saint, St. Gemma, who was known for her outward beauty as well as her inner beauty. (Her picture is shown on this website stgemma.com/) St. Gemma (and a number of other female saints and Old Testament figures such as Judith and Ester that were known for both holiness *and *outward beauty) might be more inspirational to some women.
 
I suppose Saint Mary Magdalene was also very beautiful, she’s my second favorite saint of all time.
 
Physical beauty is the most important trait a person can have.

Young people are going to be the ones who generally make mistakes like this as they have not had the experience to see that it is a mistake. Most of us lean best from making and then recognizing mistakes. In addition, modern western society has idolized the cult of youth, physical beauty, and sex appeal.

All women are beautiful!! All of them. Some are more beautiful than others but all are beautiful. There is nothing wrong in my opinion with a woman (or a man for that matter) making sure she (he) presents a visually pleasing image. In some cases, it could be argued that it is a must. People are visual creatures. Men are especially so. God gave women beauty as one of the tools to attract a man.

As others have pointed out, beauty is ephemeral so a woman who trys to hold a man using nothing else is doomed to failure and a man who finds nothing else in a mate is doomed to disappointment or worse.

Having said that, any woman who ignores this tool is handicapping herself. It should not be the only tool and if it is, that is vanity in more ways than one, but it is there to use. And while it fades over time and becomes less useful by itself, it never goes away entirely.

My dear wife is late middle age; has had 3 children who were breast fed, and a physically hard life. I can (with great difficulty) look at her objectively through the eyes of an 18 yo and see that she is hardly an ideal of feminine beauty by normal standards. Fortunately, I am abnormal and of course “Love is blind.” (Deaf and stupid also.) I still find her attractive and when she wants to, she can make herself down right desirable.

For what it is worth from a mere male perspective.
 
ok look what i found in my dostoevsky (Crime and Punishment, Part 3 Chapter 1, page 174 in Coulson’s translation)

“Although Pulkheria Alexandrovna was 43, her face retained traces of its former beauty, and besides, like almost all women who preserve into old age their clarity of mind, the freshness of their impressions, and the pure, honest ardour of their hearts, she seemed much younger than her years. Let it be said in parenthesis that the preservation of these things is the only way to keep beauty even in old age. Her hair was beginning to grow grey and thin, little radiating wrinkles had long since appeared round her eyes, her cheeks were hollow and withered with cares and anxieties, but it was still a beautiful face. It was like a portrait of Dunechka [her daughter] 20 years later, and without the expressive pout of the lower lip. Pulkheria Alexandrovna was sentimental, but not cloyingly so, diffident and yielding, but only up to a certain point: she would yield much, consent to much, even to things running counter to her convictions, but there always remained a limit of honesty, principle, and firm conviction which nothing could induce her to overstep.”
 
Interestingly enough…in Genesis where God says His creation was good…that Hebrew word that we call “good” can also be translated as beautiful. Just a side comment to share at your next cocktail party.
 
Physical beauty is only skin deep. 😉

Some of that beauty is not meant to be seen by those who do not have a right to see it.
 
phoage said:
All women are beautiful!! All of them. Some are more beautiful than others but all are beautiful.
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Hmm… How about the wicked witch of the west?
If we are talking about physical beauty and not ‘inner’ beauty, then it is merely subjective.
 
I can say from experience that God doesn’t make all women with outer beauty. Those who can, can make some changes. Like, if you teeth are crocked, get braces. Then take the best care of yourself that you can. Got pimples? There are many products out there for that.

Basically, we are not all born the same. God gives us different gifts. One may be the gift of beauty. And there are more kinds of beauty, depending on where you are. In one part of the country, or world, they may have different standards they are looking for. They may pass up the beauty queen for someone “plain.”

Take care of yourself and lift your life up to God. You may yet be found a beauty by someone looking for someone like you.

Boy, did I mess up this post or what. I don’t think I really made my point clear enough. I have never been considered a beauty. And, now being just a month away of being 47, I try to take care of myself both inside and out. Eat healthy, study the bible, and all that. And pray that God will either lead you to someone who will appreciate your beauty, or give you the grace of living a single life.
 
tau_gamma_pi said:
ok look what i found in my dostoevsky (Crime and Punishment, Part 3 Chapter 1, page 174 in Coulson’s translation)

“Although Pulkheria Alexandrovna was 43, her face retained traces of its former beauty, and besides, like almost all women who preserve into old age their clarity of mind, the freshness of their impressions, and the pure, honest ardour of their hearts, she seemed much younger than her years. Let it be said in parenthesis that the preservation of these things is the only way to keep beauty even in old age. Her hair was beginning to grow grey and thin, little radiating wrinkles had long since appeared round her eyes, her cheeks were hollow and withered with cares and anxieties, but it was still a beautiful face. It was like a portrait of Dunechka [her daughter] 20 years later, and without the expressive pout of the lower lip. Pulkheria Alexandrovna was sentimental, but not cloyingly so, diffident and yielding, but only up to a certain point: she would yield much, consent to much, even to things running counter to her convictions, but there always remained a limit of honesty, principle, and firm conviction which nothing could induce her to overstep.”
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43 is old age??? Are you serious? :rolleyes: Very dated perspective.
 
lobster said:
Hmm… How about the wicked witch of the west?
If we are talking about physical beauty and not ‘inner’ beauty, then it is merely subjective.
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Actually, she has very strong features and I happen to like strong facial features. I also said that some are more beautiful than others.

I will admit (and people who know me also will tell you) that I can see as beauty, things others don’t. It is all a matter of attitude and practice. If you train yourself to see the beauty and look for it everywhere, after a while it becomes a habit and that is what you see. Eventually it becomes a state of mind and people think you are crazy but what a pleasant psychosis.😃
Originally Posted by Christy Beth
I can say from experience that God doesn’t make all women with outer beauty.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I believe if you look for it, God does in fact make all women with outer beauty (if in varying amounts).
 
phoage said:
Actually, she has very strong features and I happen to like strong facial features. I also said that some are more beautiful than others.
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Well I suppose what is ugly to one is beautiful to another, same as one man’s treasure is another man’s junk.
Personally, I don’t think strong facial features on a woman such as the wicked witch with the gnarled nose, chin, and warts is particularly beautiful, but hey, what ever grabs ones fancy!
 
Margaret Hamilton had a great sense of humor.She was very self-deprecating. There is an interview with her about being offered the role of the witch, and it’s very funny.

She was also dedicated to causes to help children and animals. That, to me, sounds like the description of a person with deep inner beauty.

The novel Wicked was dedicated to her.
 
I’m no Gnostic, so I do value that God made women attractive to men, and vice versa for women.

You make a good point with beauty vs vanity. When you think you’re beautiful and use it as a point against others, you are vain and that is wrong and needs to be pointed out and corrected. Being beautiful is not a curse, its just what it is. Some are more so than others, but usually depends on what is culturally beautiful. In some cultures not too long ago and still today, voluptuous or more “well endowed” women were seen as healthy and way more attractive than what today’s post-modern secular anti-God views attractive with thin waisted, big bust, wide hip model.

As a guy and a zealous Catholic (and not that bad looking either, atleast thats what my girlfriend says 😉 ) , I find beauty and attractiveness to come first from within one’s personality, how they carry themselves, humility, and other internal virtues. This isn’t to say that external is worthless, it is great to look at but really once we’re all old and wrinkled, external beauty will never match the inside. External beauty in humans is easily broken into the realm of vanity, and today’s culture makes it easier and easier for girls to fall into this trap and lose guys that just want to love the woman herself and not her body.

So why doesn’t everyone just strive for beauty inside now, even at a young age, instead of just external beauty?
 
^ Tell that to Fran Drescher, I think she looks amazing for her age, on a good day I think she looks 30 something even though she’s 51.

But I think she’s as beautiful outside as inside.
 
hi,

Being beautiful and taking care of your body is very important because says a lot about loving your self… if you keep your self looking young through exercise and healthy diet. But real beauty can be appreciated in many ways,


  1. *]I think when someone beautiful on the outside is as or even more beautiful on the inside… that person is gorgeous !!! Much more impressive… and wow! breath taking… Super Beautiful!.
    *]Many times I meet people not so… beautiful but … their lifestyle, intellect and personality are so nice and appealing that I end up seeing them as very beautiful. Highly attractive people !.

    *]I think the best accessory anyone can wear is a SMILE
 
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