Ok this just seems wrong

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CarrieH said:
Amen to that!!! The worst I ever saw was in my parish church where I used to live 10 years ago. This was a beautiful 100±year-old church with no A/C, and it would get mighty hot in there during the summer. One particularly warm day at the Saturday vigil, the lector, a middle-aged woman, got up there wearing a tank-style swimsuit with a skirt over top! :bigyikes: I’m not the “clothing police” by any means, but I was speechless. I couldn’t believe Father let her stand up there and do the readings un-dressed like that. I was so embarrassed for her, I wanted to throw a choir robe over her. If only her greatest “transgression” had been the wearing of flip-flops! Instead, we had to look at her upper-body flesh “flip-flopping” around as she walked across the front of the church. I think someone must have said something to her, though, because she didn’t pull that stunt again.
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It’s funny how many otherwise intelligent people think that as long as people have VOLUNTEERED to do something you can’t ask them to do it WELL. “But they’re willing to volunteer why would you want to make them feel bad?” That applies to dress, being able to read well, etc.
 
The woman in the swimsuit probably thought she was dressing up by throwing the skirt on. If she had also thrown on a light jacket and fastened it, tied her hair back (brushed) and put on real shoes, it wouldn’t have been so bad IMO.That wouldn’t have meant going all the way home, would it? Surely she had a jacket in her car or a friend could lend her one. That is, if she couldn’t be bothered to go home and get dressed before reading.
 
Thankfully, that attitude does not prevail at my parish. It is rare, but there have been a couple of lectors and altar servers that have been directed not to return to those ministries, due to repeated dress code infractions, lack of reverence, etc.

Bottom line is that this parish needs clear regulations and consistent enforcement of same. Voluntarism is a wonderful virtue, but it is not above preserving the dignity of the Mass.
 
strngrnrth said:
The woman in the swimsuit probably thought she was dressing up by throwing the skirt on. If she had also thrown on a light jacket and fastened it, tied her hair back (brushed) and put on real shoes, it wouldn’t have been so bad IMO.
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Yeah…at least she had a skirt on and not short-shorts; things can always be worse! The swimsuit was plain navy-blue and could have passed as a tank top or camisole if it had been covered with a jacket…but that would have been HOT! :rolleyes: Why couldn’t I have left my glasses in the car that day? sigh
 
Well, I guess it is just my personal taste, I just thought it strange. Actually here at this church many altar boys and girls and those serving the Eucharist are wearing flip flops, and that’s new to me…Every time they go up and down the stairs the ‘snap’ slap’ sounds echo…and indeed, the reader lost his shoe on the way to read…that was more my thought about the dangers of flip flops. The reader was probably around 18-19-20 yrs old. YES I’m glad he wants to read, I just thought that there would be a dress code or something…I know I live in Florida now, and I came from Minnesota, but I just am amazed sometimes at the clothing choices LOL:o ! Swimwear, flip flops, tank tops, shorts…
 
Oh, my. We live in AZ, and it’s pretty hot, but if a kid wore flip flops at our parish, they would not be allowed to serve altar. Girls are allowed open toed dress shoes in summer. The couple in charge of our altar servers doesn’t even allow tennis shoes!
 
Jesus wore something close to flip-flops!
The deacon at my church wears them all the time at mass!
 
I am happy we are not so high in the hat where I live. 👍 I am quite content whenever the church is filled and see it as a good thing whenever someone young does the reading because I know it catches the eye of the other children and young people in the parish. I am even happy when I see a girl in a strap shirt or an alcoholic who found his way in… even if he is smelling and dirty and does not know how to behave… what a delight that he came into the house of the LORD to visit Jesus… for it is certainly HIS House and not mine.

I think one of the sicknesses in many Catholic churches is that people can talk for hours about form but they forget about content… they worry about the liturgy, the candles, the vestments, the right way to dress and to do this and say that… and heaven forbid someone moves a chair or someone has slippers on…
But when it comes to the more substantial things… there seldom is much fuss when the really important things are missing…

I am not bothered about peoples’ relaxed clothes… What can disturb me at Mass however, is when the priest does not seem to be seized at all by the Gospel he is preaching, when I hear the young people swearing on the way home from Mass, or I see people nearly falling asleep during the sermon or looking like stone faces because they are not taught with fervour and life…

I reckon that some of you live at very good parishes where there is fellowship and fervour and holiness and everything is good… so good that you can now direct your energy at details such as a kid wearing the wrong shoes at Mass. I must congratulate you…

🤷
 
Yikes. I am not a huge stickler about clothes, though when I see some girl’s butt crack out the top of her jeans, I’ll admit it bugs me. I don’t care if someone wears jeans to Mass.

However, I do think that it is acceptable and necessary to expect a higher standard of those who are in ministry, part of the Mass, and as such, representing the institutional Church. When I go up to read, I am walking in extremely near proximity to the Tabernacle, filled with the actual incarnate body of Jesus Christ. I need to have an attitude of reverence when I do that. So much more altar servers and deacons when assisting the priest!

I think the vinegar in your comment was really uncalled for. Having standards is not a bad thing. And when you can get decent looking children’s dress shoes for $15 at Payless, we are not putting an unreasonable burden on anyone, either.
 
Sorry Grace, but as a choir director and worship leader my leadership always told me that we had an added responsibility to not distract from the message and to try to represent a good image exactly because ‘people are watching’.

Even in high school, our choir director would not allow us to wear sweatpant under our robes - even tho we could pull them up to show what appeared to be a bare leg to the audience. He said that dressing up even tho no one can see what you are wearing effects how you perform. If you know you are presentable and dressed appropriately, you will behave in a slightly more formal manner.

Let me state this: I am not Catholic (yet), but in the Lutheran church in Minnesota, I did not see the flip flop thing because there was a dress code for participating. Now here I am in the Catholic church, and I am the one who is “watching”. So are you happy I am there and wrestling with the things I see that are different from my experiences or unhappy that I saw and commented? Just curious. "🤷 "
 
I agree with Dusky…

I pray that people WILL be able to worship and focus while in Mass - that’s that goal.

I’m not trying to sound Catty Grace, but I felt a little criticized and judged. I respect that it’s not important to you, and really it’s not some huge thing to me. I was just commenting on something I thought was overly casual for the setting.
 
duskyjewel said:
However, I do think that it is acceptable and necessary to expect a higher standard of those who are in ministry, part of the Mass, and as such, representing the institutional Church…
And when you can get decent looking children’s dress shoes for $15 at Payless, we are not putting an unreasonable burden on anyone, either.
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I’m with you, dusky! And if even $15 is a hardship, you can find all kinds of shoes at the thrift stores for under $5 a pair around here. Would I wear thrift-shop shoes to Mass myself? You betcha – I bought a very nice pair of lightly-used Rockports for $4.99 at the Goodwill, and I wear those almost every Sunday. 👍 I wouldn’t ask anyone to do something I would be unwilling to do myself. 🙂
 
Dear brothers and sisters.
We all have different perspectives and that is okay.
You have felt criticism in my words because there actually is criticism in my words. This is my persepctive and I mean it when I say I think there is often a focus on certain less important things while crucial matters are neglected.
I say that as a person who is not thriving in my own parish… thats the point where I am coming from… the things I have heard from the pulpit here is just so wrong and things I have experienced … I dont wanna get started on all that… just to let you understand where a bit of my sarcasm comes from… I know I should not let it out on you… as I said… there is nothing wrong with healthy priorities if they just come in the right order…
To the lutheran-catholic brother… I am like you…a convert from lutheran back ground… I have seen good things and bad things everywhere in all the churches I have attended… evangelical, messianic, protestant, orthodox and catholic and one conclusion I have reached: we need ALL of Christ’s body to make a healthy Church… that means the fundamentalists and the calvinits and methodists and all of them. …and it also means the ones who have not yet been taught in their heart by God how to dress moderately or proper in other ways…
 
I wonder if it is a regional thing (at least the sunglasses). I lived for many years in NM, and combining that with having Lasik, I can’t drive or even step outside without sunglasses. (one of the effects of Lasik is to make a person really sun-sensitive, and in a place like NM, there’s no escaping the sun). If I forget my sunglasses, I can’t walk outside, drive, etc…, so they are always on my head. I’m not the only one, at work, a significant number of folks wear sunglasses on their head.
Fashion wise, when I’m indoors, I don’t see them as any different than wearing a headband (and they do help keep my hair looking neat). I have worn them on my head for important work presentations, job interviews, etc., and never thought twice about it (or how people might view it) until this thread. It’s interesting, and I will be moving north this summer and dealing with a lot less sun, so I wonder if eventually I’ll fall out of the habit of wearing them on my head all the time.
 
In reading through the posts subsequent to mine (#18), I remembered an incident which I think would be good to keep in mind the next time we see a “bathing suit and skirt” combo.

I used to live in a parish where all in ministry dressed. One Sunday, I lectored in ratty jeans and a tee shirt. Father used to tell me in private that I was the best lector in the parish, so when the assigned lector didn’t show up that Sunday, he asked me to lector.

I didn’t know what to do or say, I was so shocked :eek: . I finally spluttered, “How can I possibly lector dressed like this?!?” He told me not to worry about it, and so I and my ratty jeans joined the Entrance Procession.

Thankfully, Father had the good common sense to announce at the beginning of the Mass something to the effect of thanking me for being willing to lector after being “commandered” at the last minute.

Any time after that, if I saw a lector that I didn’t think was appropriately dressed, I thought that maybe he or she had been asked at the very last minute to fill in for a no-show.
 
GemmaRose said:
I used to live in a parish where all in ministry dressed. One Sunday, I lectored in ratty jeans and a tee shirt. Father used to tell me in private that I was the best lector in the parish, so when the assigned lector didn’t show up that Sunday, he asked me to lector.
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I had a similar incident myself some years ago when filling in at the last minute as cantor. This was before I made the decision to dress more nicely for Mass every Sunday, not just when I was singing in front of the congregation. If people would come to Mass wearing something a bit nicer than skirts-over-swimsuits or their “grubbies,” they would never have to fear being embarrassed by their outfit if they were called upon to read, sing, or serve at the last minute. 👍

In the case of Swimsuit-Suzy, one look in the bulletin would have blown that alibi. Lectors were assigned by the month, and were listed in the bulletin, along with the altar servers, coffee-hour hosts, etc…and it was her month to be lector. Busted! :o
 
This is also why those in ministry at our parish are instructed to dress “as if” every week. So that when they go looking for help to replace a no-show, they have people who are within the standards.

This issue is not hard to resolve. The parish just needs to take it seriously, communicate expectations to those serving in ministry, and follow up during training and in the case of non-compliance. It’s just like managing any other organization.
 
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