OK to be gay ... and Catholic??

  • Thread starter Thread starter 1way
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I’m also not sure it is a good idea for those who find themselves consistently attracted to those of the same gender to constantly and endlessly work and pray for that to be lifted from them. I have seen this come to very bad ends in a number of cases, enough so that I think the principle is suspect. Better perhaps to accept that you have a special burden, figure out what do do with it, and move on.
I would say that praying for the burden to be lifted (whether through miracle or otherwise) is a good thing - but you are correct, I think, that a special focus of the prayer should also be directed at asking for the graces to combat the temptation, if it is not to be lifted, since we all are tempted, and we are to expect temptation - we are supposed to combat it. If there wasn’t any temptation, you’d already be in heaven, essentially.
 
I would say that praying for the burden to be lifted (whether through miracle or otherwise) is a good thing - but you are correct, I think, that a special focus of the prayer should also be directed at asking for the graces to combat the temptation, if it is not to be lifted, since we all are tempted, and we are to expect temptation - we are supposed to combat it. If there wasn’t any temptation, you’d already be in heaven, essentially.
As far as I know only the Lord knows whether or not He wants to remove the homosexual tendencies from the person or just to give him the strength to resist the temptation of same sex attractions. In either situation the gay person and others who want to help him can pray for God’s will-whether it’s a cure for a same-sex attraction or the strength to resist such attractions when they occur.

We all have temptations. If it doesn’t involve same sex individuals-it could be opposite sex individuals who are married to someone else, priests, religious, children (including teens), people who don’t want our advances, those whom we love who want to “do it” with us, pornography, etc.

Of course a lot of us have temptations that don’t involve our sexual desires-such as addictions to food, alcohol, street and prescription drugs, tobacco, gambling, spending money, and soap operas. Some times we’re tempted to do something just because we’re angry or frustrated with someone-like giving them a “black eye”…

I need to pray for other temptations to keep them in check, but it’s really frustrating to deal with adults who keep getting in my way or who don’t do anything when their kids are in the way. Sometimes I feel like screaming as if the building were on fire or pushing them out of the way. But I won’t do that. I even get tempted to get the others to wait on me because there in my way. I try not to overdo that one but I asked a lady to ask someone at the front desk to loan me the scissors. (:shrug:She didn’t like my asking, but her kids ran up to the door of the front desk and got in my way,) And I also need help in controlling my eating habits or getting rid of the sugar in my diet. It makes me tired and gain weight.

The Lord loves everyone and none of us are perfect. We need to pray for those with same sex attraction like we would those with opposite sex attraction, nonsexual temptations such as drug addictions and the temptation to give someone that “shiner” for getting us angry with them.

So we all have something in common with the gays in the sense that we’re sinners who must deal with temptation-even if we’re not attracted to members of the same sex.

-sparkie:)
 
Not sure if this is a traditional question or a political/social one.

I know two women who have been openly living in a lesbian relationship for years.
In fact they met while they were both in the convent. They left the sisterhood and have lived together ever since … 40 years. They were school teachers, retired now, that have been an active part of the community all their lives.
My question: Can they still be considered Catholic? Can they receive Communion?
What is the Church’s position toward active gay/lebian people who attend the Catholic Church?
What does “opening living in a lesbian relationship” mean? Is it that two woman who have known each other for years are living in the same house? That does not a lesbian relationship make.

They were baptized Catholic so they are Catholic until they formally renounce that. We are always to put the most charitable construct on things that we do not have all information about–just as we would desire other to do for us. I would assume that these friends began to share a house to save on living expenses, found it working well, and have continued all these years. You must also assume that their priest-confessor has guided them in any sinful matters that may have arisen in those years.
 
The catechism says that the “…[homosexual] inclination … is objectively disordered …”. So, while the celibacy is certainly commendable, I would argue that fostering the inclination by co-habitating with someone that is the object of your homosexual attraction is still a problem. I counters your confessional promise to avoid the near occasion of sin
That is very true and the reason the Vatican has said that men with a homosexual tendency should not be ordained.

However, in the OP’s situation, there was nothing he said to make us believe that these women actually do have homosexual tendencies. 40 years ago it was difficult for a sister to leave her convent. Perhaps these 2 women left over some issue having nothing to do with their sexual tendencies. They have continued to teach and it seems, from the OP’s post, be obedient to their parish priest. I would behoove us to look on their situation in charity until we know otherwise.
 
That is very true and the reason the Vatican has said that men with a homosexual tendency should not be ordained.

However, in the OP’s situation, there was nothing he said to make us believe that these women actually do have homosexual tendencies. 40 years ago it was difficult for a sister to leave her convent. Perhaps these 2 women left over some issue having nothing to do with their sexual tendencies. They have continued to teach and it seems, from the OP’s post, be obedient to their parish priest. I would behoove us to look on their situation in charity until we know otherwise.
The example I gave was intended to frame the question. I intentionally decided not to go into a lot of detail about the women in the example. If you think the example was bad. Please feel free to ignore it. I had no intention of creating the atmosphere of the tabloid gauntlet at the grocery store check out stand. The women that I spoke of are personal friends and I would never wish ill for either of them. In fact they have been in my prayers for all the time I have known them. I would love to see them with the light of Christ in their eyes, walking the streets of gold some day.
My intended focus was on how the Catholic Church views/ responds to members who choose to be actively engaged in intimate same sex relationships.
 
That is very true and the reason the Vatican has said that men with a homosexual tendency should not be ordained.
As a gay Catholic, I disagree with the Vatican’s policy of banning homosexually oriented men from the priesthood. I think they should be evaluated and approved based on their loyalty to the faith and strong moral character, not on their sexual orientation. For many years I wondered if God was calling me to the priesthood and spent some time living in the same house with several priests and other discerning young men without any problems. Honestly, I didn’t experience any more temptation than I would otherwise normally experience. I wasn’t there to find a boyfriend. I was there seeking God’s will. The sexual appeal of the men I was living with was the furthest thing from my mind. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t notice :p, but it wasn’t an issue. Now for other men, it may not be that easy and they might have serious problems. Again, that’s why I think it should be evaluated on a case by case basis and not generalized.
 
As a gay Catholic, I disagree with the Vatican’s policy of banning homosexually oriented men from the priesthood. I think they should be evaluated and approved based on their loyalty to the faith and strong moral character, not on their sexual orientation. For many years I wondered if God was calling me to the priesthood and spent some time living in the same house with several priests and other discerning young men without any problems. Honestly, I didn’t experience any more temptation than I would otherwise normally experience. I wasn’t there to find a boyfriend. I was there seeking God’s will. The sexual appeal of the men I was living with was the furthest thing from my mind. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t notice :p, but it wasn’t an issue. Now for other men, it may not be that easy and they might have serious problems. Again, that’s why I think it should be evaluated on a case by case basis and not generalized.
Ryan, I applaud you for your strength of character. I will be praying for you and your discernment process.
 
What does the Vatican mean when they say that all homosexuality is disordered? The only way it makes sense to me is in the same way one might say “all anger is disordered.” But I am pretty sure that is not the gist.

Do they mean it in the sense of “all schizophrenia is disordered?” As in, a kind of physical mistake that happens in the body somehow? But then you could equally say “All people born missing toes are subject to a disorder.” And while I can see that perhaps it might not be a good idea to ordain people with some mental illnesses, I can’t see refusing a person who was born without toes. So refusing homosexuals on the grounds that it is disordered in that way also seems odd.

If they mean that it is caused by some terrible scarring event in a person’s life that makes them unsitable for the priesthood, I have to say that I am rather skeptical.
 
It just means that the temptation suffered by homosexuals is contrary to the natural order. Whereas a heterosexual who has urges for heterosexual relations outisde of marriage suffers a similar temptation, it is “ordered” in that the temptation is directed towards something that can ultimately be licit (within the bounds of marriage, etc.) the homosexual urges are not directed at something that could at any point become legitimate.

The terms order and disorder in this sense refer to the natural order - that God created our sexual faculties in the context of a hetrosexual, procreative function.
 
The church has maintained that gay men should not be priests all along. And nothing has changed in this. Anyone that thinks that gay men should be ordained as priests should read Goodbye, Good Men by Michael S. Rose.
 
The church has maintained that gay men should not be priests all along. And nothing has changed in this. Anyone that thinks that gay men should be ordained as priests should read Goodbye, Good Men by Michael S. Rose.
The fact is there are many gay men who are faithful, orthodox priests. To group all gay priests, or all GLBT folks for that matter, with what you see in the media is completely inaccurate.
 
It doesn’t matter if they are faithful or orthodox, they are unable to fulfill the requirements of a Catholic priest if they are gay. Period. Regardless if they are celibate. Father Thomas Loya addresses this issue in detail in his theology of the body podcast. Priests need to be heterosexually normal men to fulfill their duties as bridegroom to the the Church. As a Traditional Catholic I support the the teaching of the Church on this matter.
 
As a gay Catholic, I disagree with the Vatican’s policy of banning homosexually oriented men from the priesthood. I think they should be evaluated and approved based on their loyalty to the faith and strong moral character, not on their sexual orientation. For many years I wondered if God was calling me to the priesthood and spent some time living in the same house with several priests and other discerning young men without any problems. Honestly, I didn’t experience any more temptation than I would otherwise normally experience. I wasn’t there to find a boyfriend. I was there seeking God’s will. The sexual appeal of the men I was living with was the furthest thing from my mind. I’m not going to pretend I didn’t notice :p, but it wasn’t an issue. Now for other men, it may not be that easy and they might have serious problems. Again, that’s why I think it should be evaluated on a case by case basis and not generalized.
Ryan women can’t be preists either…

We are all called to be obedient to the magesterium…I can’t be a preist either…I am sure there are other ways for you to serve the church if you want to…How about starting a courage program, or teaching CCD or RCIA…You can still give a powerful witness to God…and you cant also set an example of what it means to serve God as a gay man

You are certainly to be applauded and perhaps by your actions you can change hearts and minds

God bless you
 
Ryan women can’t be preists either…

We are all called to be obedient to the magesterium…I can’t be a preist either…I am sure there are other ways for you to serve the church if you want to…How about starting a courage program, or teaching CCD or RCIA…You can still give a powerful witness to God…and you cant also set an example of what it means to serve God as a gay man

You are certainly to be applauded and perhaps by your actions you can change hearts and minds

God bless you
Thank you for your thoughts, redrosetea.

I’m still trying to figure out where God wants me in the Church. It may be just being a lay Catholic, trying daily to work out my salvation.

As far as I know, the issue of gay men being ordained to the priesthood is not de fide. Personally, I can’t see how it could be anything other than a disciplinary policy, much like celibacy. If I cannot be a priest simply because of my sexual orientation, then I accept that, even though personally I do not agree with it.

God bless!
 
Thank you for your thoughts, redrosetea.

I’m still trying to figure out where God wants me in the Church. It may be just being a lay Catholic, trying daily to work out my salvation.

As far as I know, the issue of gay men being ordained to the priesthood is not de fide. Personally, I can’t see how it could be anything other than a disciplinary policy, much like celibacy. If I cannot be a priest simply because of my sexual orientation, then I accept that, even though personally I do not agree with it.

God bless!
You are a good person to do this…Think about St Francis and how he started a new order and saved our faith

He was willing to give it all up if the Pope asked it of him

God may be using you in a way you might not even be aware of

We need people just like you to show others how to live by example

I am very proud of you…In the age in which we live ,many do not have the humility you are displaying…I think you will do great things for God…🙂
 
Ryan women can’t be preists either…

We are all called to be obedient to the magesterium…I can’t be a preist either…I am sure there are other ways for you to serve the church if you want to…How about starting a courage program, or teaching CCD or RCIA…You can still give a powerful witness to God…and you cant also set an example of what it means to serve God as a gay man

You are certainly to be applauded and perhaps by your actions you can change hearts and minds

God bless you
Ryan, I like Red Rose Tea’s suggestion. I’ve heard and read that we baptised Catholics are all a part of the “priesthood” of believers. We all have our special positions on God’s Team. In fact my FSSP priest told this priesthood of believers at the breakfast after Mass when I asked him about what we lay people can do during the “Year of the Priest.”

I just happened to be standing next to the choir director who was holding her baby grandson. I mentioned that the lady I stood next to is the choir director and mother of 9 kids-something that the priest isn’t. Since we join this priesthood at our baptism, that makes the little person in the choir director’s lap a priest to. He may not be able to do much yet-except look cute, smile, and make us laugh. I said I don’t know yet what the Lord has in mind for him-whether he receives Holy Orders when he’s older or gets married and has little people of his own.

Ryan, you may have a niche that neither Father nor the choir director can fill. We have a lot of gays and bisexuals who are sexually active who can use a good role model. This role model could be a gay Catholic who lives a celibate lifestyle-even though you can’t become a priest or a Brother. And you can also pray for the other GLBTs as you say your daily prayers. And keep asking the Lord for guidance in what you should be doing to serve Him.

🙂
 
Thank you for your thoughts, redrosetea.

I’m still trying to figure out where God wants me in the Church. It may be just being a lay Catholic, trying daily to work out my salvation.

As far as I know, the issue of gay men being ordained to the priesthood is not de fide. Personally, I can’t see how it could be anything other than a disciplinary policy, much like celibacy. If I cannot be a priest simply because of my sexual orientation, then I accept that, even though personally I do not agree with it.

God bless!
I hate to admit I have yet to read through the mess of commentaries and references. I would like to bring to attention there is no such thing as an individual being “gay” but one who commits homosexual actions or “gay” actions if you perfer it spoken that way. A priest is allowed homosexual inclinations so long as they resist and prevent any actions by it; as all humans are subject to resist temptation of any form. If you fail to resist then confess and repent. God loves and so must we all or face our own sin of being false to our own profession of Faith. If you want to do anything you may. “Homosexuality” should not prevent you from priesthood or ministryhood, but committing a gay action is as bad as fornification for it goes against’s God’s own design and nature, But Christ’s mercy in confession will wipe away the stains of homosexuality day by day even if it takes till the day you die to conquer the sin. We all sin and those who bear the cross of homosexuality is no different from those who thirst for sex, masturbation, or pornography, merely falling victim to the world. We can resist fore God made us all children of God, beautiful and in his image, in his love. In his mercy we live and in his Grace our hearts are softened and circumsized by Jesus Christ.
 
What does “opening living in a lesbian relationship” mean? Is it that two woman who have known each other for years are living in the same house? That does not a lesbian relationship make.
The example I gave was intended to frame the question. I intentionally decided not to go into a lot of detail about the women in the example. If you think the example was bad. Please feel free to ignore it. I had no intention of creating the atmosphere of the tabloid gauntlet at the grocery store check out stand. The women that I spoke of are personal friends and I would never wish ill for either of them. In fact they have been in my prayers for all the time I have known them. I would love to see them with the light of Christ in their eyes, walking the streets of gold some day.
My intended focus was on how the Catholic Church views/ responds to members who choose to be actively engaged in intimate same sex relationships.
It seems to me there’s a lot of banter about charity and giving the benefit of the doubt to those who appear to be in a homosexual relationship (said benefit extending far beyond credible), but what about charity to the other posters??? Who’s giving them the benefit of the doubt that they might actually know more about what they’re talking about than we give them credit for??? Just because they’re not hanging out all the sordid details does not mean we have to pick their story apart…
 
I know two women who have been openly living in a lesbian relationship for years.
How do you know they are living as lesbians? Just because two women are living together and are not feminine beauties, doesn’t mean they have turned toward one another in a sexual way. Sounds like you are a bit suspicious. EVEN if they are not sexually atrracted to men, doesn’t mean they are living immorally.

As a social question, you might read a sociological book about it. I have had to, in order to understand some family members. Apparently being lesbian isn’t so much about sex as being gay is.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top