Ok to not go to the service before confession?

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Kathrin

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I am going to confession tomorrow, and for those who have read my “high high anxiety” thread (moved to spirituality) - yup, I am going.
Now I have another little dilemma. They have a morning mass on Wednesday mornings.
With all this stress going on right now I really don’t think it would be good for me to get up earlier, I think my body needs more rest right now.
I know the priest doesn’t expect me to come to the Wednesday morning mass, we just happened to schedule the confession for about an hour later (after the mass and and coffee afterward that they have. It is a nice little social thing, and I have done it a few times).

Am I being lazy for not going to the service? Even if it would mess up my time frame for the day and cause more stress, plus I would need to get uip at an hour when I am still sleepy… and I need more sleep right now I feel…😦 am I ok?

Kathrin
 
And I don’t mean to not take my confession seriously or something like that.

I just need to take care of me too. Right now I need to take things a bit slower maybe?

And this is typical again. It’s like my mind is LOOKING for things to worry about, because I know I can’t deal with much more extra stress.🤷 I know there is no rule that says I have to go to the mass. A part of me just says, hey, that is giving the wrong sign, you wanna go to confession but you can’t even drag yourself out of bed for a morning mass.

But that’s not how I mean it!!
 
Of course you do not have to attend Mass before confession. Why ever are you stressing about such a thing?
 
mercygate said:
Of course you do not have to attend Mass before confession. Why ever are you stressing about such a thing?
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Because right now a part of my mind is very active that wants to play “let’s find more things to stress about” with me.:rolleyes:
 
Kathrin said:
Because right now a part of my mind is very active that wants to play “let’s find more things to stress about” with me.:rolleyes:
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Then turn the volume down on that part of your brain. 🙂 I struggle with scrupulosity myself, and there is a quote from St. Alphonsas Ligouri that goes something like this: If there is a question to if you are obliged to do something, then reset assured that you are not olbliged. We are only obliged to do things that we are CERTAIN of. This dear Saint suffered from anxiety most of his life, too.
 
Kathrin said:
Because right now a part of my mind is very active that wants to play “let’s find more things to stress about” with me.:rolleyes:
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So here is your support team saying: STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! Life will give you plenty of stress without adding things that simply do not even reach the level of the radar.

Take a hot bath. Relax. You deserve a better deal than you are giving yourself.
 
Thank you.:hug1: I will try.🙂 You are right.
I think scrupulosity in part has to do with wanting to be perfect in faith?
But then often it is hindersome rather than productive.

Because yes, it is about love and faith and consolation and hope… and sharing… and all these wonderful things.

That I want to do.

Because really when I am not in “srupulosity mode” I am not such a narrow-minded person at all. On the contrary. I want to share love with everyone. I want my faith to be something beautiful, for others to see. The scrupulosity is just a nasty little thing that my brain does, especially during times of stress.

Thanks all.

Kathrin
 
Kathrin said:
Thank you.:hug1: I will try.🙂 You are right.
I think scrupulosity in part has to do with wanting to be perfect in faith?
But then often it is hindersome rather than productive.

Because yes, it is about love and faith and consolation and hope… and sharing… and all these wonderful things.

That I want to do.

Because really when I am not in “srupulosity mode” I am not such a narrow-minded person at all. On the contrary. I want to share love with everyone. I want my faith to be something beautiful, for others to see. The scrupulosity is just a nasty little thing that my brain does, especially during times of stress.

Thanks all.

Kathrin
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Got news for you - you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and anxiety if you say you want to be ‘perfect in faith’. If it happens, a) it won’t be overnight and b) you won’t be aware of it - none of the saints were.

Just aim to be a little better this week than you were last week, and a little better next week than you were this week, and so on 🙂
 
LilyM said:
Just aim to be a little better this week than you were last week, and a little better next week than you were this week, and so on 🙂
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A friend of mine had similar situation where he set himself a very high goal and aim right at it without knowing the many little steps between - he seemed to not have peace at some moment.
 
Thank you again so much.

I had a really good confession and conversation with my priest. We talked about scruples too. I am feeling so much better now. The conversation also gave me quite some things to think about though!!

Kathrin
 
Kathrin said:
Thank you again so much.

I had a really good confession and conversation with my priest. We talked about scruples too. I am feeling so much better now. The conversation also gave me quite some things to think about though!!

Kathrin
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You are thoughtful and considerate to follow up with us on this. We’ve had you in our prayers. While scruples can be a serious “spiritual illness” there are some priests who would say that the Church could use a good case of scruples right now! – at least the good kind of scruples!
 
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