Okay, how bad?

[RLT]

I’ll try to be as concise as I can.
I lied to my boss in order to avoid going to a holiday lunch thingy. I really didn’t want to go, so I told him I had to work at my other job.
This was confessed.
I started thinking of what I would say if my boss found out that I really didn’t have to work. I didn’t want to tell him that I really just didn’t wan’t to go. So I figured to save face I needed to come up with an alibi in case he found out that I didn’t have to work and asked why really didn’t go.
So my plan was to go to the Adoration of Blessed Sacrament, and spend the time there. Then if he did ask I would say “I was at my church” figuring he would assume that that was what I had planned all along, and he would leave it at that.
So while I sat in the chapel it hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that what I was doing was using God as as the alibi and to perpetuate a lie, plus abusing the Blessed Sacrament.
I immediatley resolved to never use this as an excuse for my absence form the lucheon and if asked to fess up to not wanting to participate.
My question, What was the gravity of my sin.
It didn’t occur to me the error I was in until I sat in the chapel
I never did used my time at the chapel as an excuse.
I feel awful that I even came up with this sceme.

 

[Jared123]

I would go to confession as soon as possible and confess your sin, but wouldn’t say anything to your boss unless asked.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

Ok, the outright lie was a sin, but you confessed that. Occupying yourself and then planning on telling your boss the truth about what you did that day (if asked) doesn’t strike me as a sin at all. I mean, you did talk with Our Lord and praise Him while you were there in his Holy Presence, did you not? It’s not like you sat there playing solitare in the back of the chapel. You really did want to do Eucharistic Adoration, right?

As long as “fessing up” to your boss wasn’t part of your penance, it isn’t necessary. There’s no need to tell your boss that going to church wasn’t your original intention. Your lie wasn’t a harmful lie and it does not appear to me that you have any restitution to do unless you were specifically instructed to do so by your confessor.

 

[RLT]

Actually, I’m not concerned with telling my boss anything, I can deal with him. My concern is offending God by the intent of using the Adoration of Blessed Sacrament as an excuse for not going to the luncheon.
I guess my real question is since I never did use my time at the chapel as an alibi am I guilty of a grave/mortal sin.
Was my intent bad enough?

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

I just don’t even think your intent was sinful. I’m sensing scrupulosity here, not sin… but I am not an expert.

After you talk to a priest about this, please do come back and update us on what he said. If I’m wrong about this, I definitely would like to know.

You’re in my prayers.

 

[Traditional_Ang]

I just don’t even think your intent was sinful. I’m sensing scrupulosity here, not sin… but I am not an expert.

After you talk to a priest about this, please do come back and update us on what he said. If I’m wrong about this, I definitely would like to know.

You’re in my prayers.

RLT,

I’m quoting Tobie’s post again, because I agree with her that this is becoming an issue of Scrupulosity.

As you’ve said, you’ve already confessed the Sin of Lying and been given a Penance for it. Hopefully, you’ll learn why it’s a better for your soul for you to tell the truth in these situations than to lie, and it won’t happen again.

At the same time, God wants to spend time with you no matter what the excuse. He’d be far more worried if you were concocting reasons to not visit Him in the Blessed Sacrament than if you were telling you’re boss that you’d rather spend a hour with Jesus than with your Boss. Whenever you are praying to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, He has more of a chance to give you special graces and to work on you and to heal you. No matter what the excuse, you should go.

What you should ask yourself one day is - Would have spent the time with Jesus if activities with your boss weren’t the other option?

If not, that’s not sinful, but that is something you want to talk over with a Spiritual Director, because it might indicate a lack of desire for the Lord or a lukewarm attitude in your prayer life.

Meanwhile, I don’t believe it’s a sin to say you want to be with God in order to avoid doing somthing you’d rather not do. Just try to figure out positive reasons to be with Him and reasons to be grateful to Him for what He has done for you.

One last comment from the Chief Rabbi of Israel, “Just as it is evil to refuse to acknowledge the wrongs one has done, it is a far worse evil to indict and convict oneself for wrongs one has never committed.”

May God grant you peace.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael

 

[Traditional_Ang]

I just don’t even think your intent was sinful. I’m sensing scrupulosity here, not sin… but I am not an expert.

After you talk to a priest about this, please do come back and update us on what he said. If I’m wrong about this, I definitely would like to know.

You’re in my prayers.

JUTobie:

Agreed - Everybody have a good night’s sleep. Goodnight, and May the Lord guard us sleeping so that asleep we may rest in peace.

Michael

 

[Karianne]

I’ll try to be as concise as I can.
I lied to my boss in order to avoid going to a holiday lunch thingy. I really didn’t want to go, so I told him I had to work at my other job.
This was confessed.
I started thinking of what I would say if my boss found out that I really didn’t have to work. I didn’t want to tell him that I really just didn’t wan’t to go. So I figured to save face I needed to come up with an alibi in case he found out that I didn’t have to work and asked why really didn’t go.
So my plan was to go to the Adoration of Blessed Sacrament, and spend the time there. Then if he did ask I would say “I was at my church” figuring he would assume that that was what I had planned all along, and he would leave it at that.
So while I sat in the chapel it hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that what I was doing was using God as as the alibi and to perpetuate a lie, plus abusing the Blessed Sacrament.
I immediatley resolved to never use this as an excuse for my absence form the lucheon and if asked to fess up to not wanting to participate.
My question, What was the gravity of my sin.
It didn’t occur to me the error I was in until I sat in the chapel
I never did used my time at the chapel as an excuse.
I feel awful that I even came up with this sceme.

No one can advise you as to the gravity of your sin but a priest. You’re not the first to use the Lord as an excuse not to do something, but your situation clearly illustrates why Shakespeare talked about the tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.
I, personally, think that you should tell your boss the truth about what you did.
There’s not a thing wrong with not wanting to attend an office party!
You are clearly an honest person and living with lies is just about the worst thing in the world for a normally honest person.
I think that you need some assertiveness training so that you can learn to say no without feeling guilty.
My guess is that the priest you talk to has heard this all before and he won’t be shocked, and since your original intent was not to degrade the Holy Presence, I don’t think your situation meets the necessary conditions for a mortal sin.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

JUTobie:

Agreed - Everybody have a good night’s sleep. Goodnight, and May the Lord guard us sleeping so that asleep we may rest in peace.

Michael

Thank you. I really was up too late.

OP: I think Karianne has a good point about learning to be more assertive. (Though I disagree that you should tell your boss at this point what really happened.) I used to lie as a teen and younger adult just because I didn’t know how to be straightforward about saying “no” and disappointing people. It’s a good idea to get oneself out of that mindset, because we can get ourselves into some big trouble through ignoring or not voicing our own legitimate preferences just to avoid the possibility of rocking the boat.