Okay to attend Catholic/Protestant wedding in Protestant church?

[AgnesOCDS]

I am faced with a situation where my sister who is a baptized catholic but not currently practicing is getting married to a protestant man but not in the catholic church. She thinks it is more charitable to meet her new husband half way rather than insist that he get married in the church (which I don’t agree with.) My son thinks I should not attend the wedding and that doing so is a sin. Other people in the family would be upset if I don’t go and my sister would take it almost like a slap in the face. I do not think that not attending will help my sister come back to the practice of her faith but would drive her further away so I’m not sure that saying that going to such a wedding would cause scandal is always accurate. I have a large family and no one is on the same page about religion and most are nonpracticing catholics so what tends to happen is that we all just go to important events in each other’s lives and to not go would be considered highly uncharitable even if we don’t agree with the religious beliefs of the other people. This is really tearing me apart though as I do not see a perfect solution to this. I love my sister but if I don’t go to her wedding she would be so offended that I doubt she would ever really be able to be okay with that and I also think it would drive her and some of the other family members further away from ever considering coming back to Mass as they would see it as a nonloving thing to do… and yet I don’t feel completely right about going either. Any thoughts?

 

[Jean_Anthony]

aaa

 

[paduard]

I am faced with a situation where my sister who is a baptized catholic but not currently practicing is getting married to a protestant man but not in the catholic church. She thinks it is more charitable to meet her new husband half way rather than insist that he get married in the church (which I don’t agree with.) My son thinks I should not attend the wedding and that doing so is a sin. Other people in the family would be upset if I don’t go and my sister would take it almost like a slap in the face. I do not think that not attending will help my sister come back to the practice of her faith but would drive her further away so I’m not sure that saying that going to such a wedding would cause scandal is always accurate. I have a large family and no one is on the same page about religion and most are nonpracticing catholics so what tends to happen is that we all just go to important events in each other’s lives and to not go would be considered highly uncharitable even if we don’t agree with the religious beliefs of the other people. This is really tearing me apart though as I do not see a perfect solution to this. I love my sister but if I don’t go to her wedding she would be so offended that I doubt she would ever really be able to be okay with that and I also think it would drive her and some of the other family members further away from ever considering coming back to Mass as they would see it as a nonloving thing to do… and yet I don’t feel completely right about going either. Any thoughts?

If you don’t go it would not be sinful; on the other hand same applies if you do you. I admit not much help that. But whatever you decide, if it does by chance happen to touch upon ‘conscience’, do not act against it.
paduard

 

[G_S]

Do you mean that they are not getting married in a Catholic church building or that they are not being married in accordance with Church law and practice? It is possible to get permission to be married in a place other than a Catholic church building and family harmony is one of the most common reason for granting this permission. Is your sister aware that this is possible? You should speak to her to see if she knows this is possible. It would be a shame for her to enter an invalid marriage and not receive the graces of the sacrament when there may be a simple solution. I would say that she should move quickly to see what can be done. If she already has permission to marry in a Protestant church building – she can even get permission for the minister to officiate – then the marriage would be recognized by the Church and there would certainly be no problem in your attending. If she is entering into an invalid marriage, that is a different matter. My experience is that not a few Catholics think they cannot get married “in the Church” when they actually can. They are usually misinformed about the rules of the Church and the possibilities and then go and enter an invalid marriage.

 

[Gorgias]

It is possible to get permission to be married in a place other than a Catholic church building and family harmony is one of the most common reason for granting this permission. Is your sister aware that this is possible? You should speak to her to see if she knows this is possible.

I would say that she should move quickly to see what can be done. If she already has permission to marry in a Protestant church building – she can even get permission for the minister to officiate – then the marriage would be recognized by the Church

This!

Yes, definitely, ask your sister if she is willing to enter into Catholic marriage prep, with a permission granted to have the wedding performed in her fiance’s church!

 

[mek42]

You and your son should probably discuss this with your priest together. I imagine rhe risk of harm to his faith is one of your greatest concerns.

 

[Petaro]

As the Sacrament of Marriage is conferred by the two persons marrying with the Priest a witness, it is permissible to get a dispensation from form from the Bishop and validly and happily marry in the spouse’s church. I did this with my wife and then we flew to another city to be with my bed-ridden mother and we confirmed our vows in the Church at which my parents were married. Two wedding receptions for all our friends and relatives in two cities. Worked well for everyone. Think about that as a solution. No sin if you go to your sister’s wedding. You cannot live other’s lives for them. God Bless.

 

[KCT]

Seeking the counsel of a priest is helpful, but even they have differing opinions on the matter.

There is no way to make everyone happy; someone is going to be upset.

In the end, you have to be at peace with your decision. I had to make the decision a while back. I am at peace with what I did.

 

[Gorgias]

As the Sacrament of Marriage is conferred by the two persons marrying with the Priest a witness, it is permissible to get a dispensation from form from the Bishop and validly and happily marry in the spouse’s church. I did this with my wife and then we flew to another city to be with my bed-ridden mother and we confirmed our vows in the Church at which my parents were married.

Umm… hang on a second. You (a Catholic) got dispensation from form in order to marry your wife (a non-Catholic Christian) in her denomination’s church, and then you went to another city and had a service in which you made your vows over again in a Catholic Church (in front of a deacon or priest)?