Okay, who's right: me or hubby?

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LynnieLew

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My daughter got a birthday invite that said:

No presents needed, your presence is gift enough.

He says that means we don’t give anything.

I say that we should at least take a card or a small token for this little boy’s birthday. It says not gift needed but not “don’t get one”.

If it was me throwing the party I would put something like that as not to excluse any children who may not be able to afford to get anything. Hubby says not so.

It has turned into a funny little argument today.

Okay Catholic friends, I trust your advice…if it means I am right. LOL 👍
 
LynnieLew said:
My daughter got a birthday invite that said:

No presents needed, your presence is gift enough.

He says that means we don’t give anything.

I say that we should at least take a card or a small token for this little boy’s birthday. It says not gift needed but not “don’t get one”.

If it was me throwing the party I would put something like that as not to excluse any children who may not be able to afford to get anything. Hubby says not so.

It has turned into a funny little argument today.

Okay Catholic friends, I trust your advice…if it means I am right. LOL 👍
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I agree with you, if they had said, “no presents please”, that would mean please don’t bring a present.

But they said, “no presents needed” which means to me, “don’t worry if you don’t have time to shop or anything, just show up. We don’t want this to be a dead party and we already bought our child enough things.”

But…since the answers on this forum will probably be equally divided, I suggest you call the parents and ask if they will be insulted if you bring a present, or if money and a card is considered a present or something like that.

Sincerely,

De Maria
 
I take it to mean:

Don’t feel that this invitation is about you buying our child gifts.

I think at least a card would be in order. You could also bring a gift, but the party isn’t about the gifts.

We have received invitations like this, too. We brought a card to the party and later sent a gift to the birthday kid because we wanted to give them a present.
 
I think the parents are trying to raise a child that is not materialistic and to bring a gift you would undermine those efforts. However, I do think a card would be appropriate.
If you really feel the need to do more, then donate to a children’s charity in the child’s name or if the child really likes animals donate a few bucks to a shelter. You can tell him that b/c he’s so generous to not ask for presents he’s helping a homeless puppy get fed.
 
erm… I believe everyone has different interpretation of this. So I’ll give mine. May be I should tell you that I’m Asian, and usually Asian are polite when comes to such thing.

I do think they are just being polite; if you don’t have time to buy, you are still welcome at the party. But if you have a gift, you may bring it.

It’s like visiting someone. When the person offers drink, usually we would say, “No need, it’s okay.” The fact that if we’re given something to drink, we will drink it.

So it’ll be up to you to decide whether to bring it or not. After all, I don’t think they will reject it.

In conclusion, I agree with you.​

 
LynnieLew said:
My daughter got a birthday invite that said:

No presents needed, your presence is gift enough.

He says that means we don’t give anything.

I say that we should at least take a card or a small token for this little boy’s birthday. It says not gift needed but not “don’t get one”.

If it was me throwing the party I would put something like that as not to excluse any children who may not be able to afford to get anything. Hubby says not so.

It has turned into a funny little argument today.

Okay Catholic friends, I trust your advice…if it means I am right. LOL 👍
Click to expand...
in this instance, your husband is correct. iam quite sure he values your opinion. but he is correct.
 
LynnieLew said:
My daughter got a birthday invite that said:

No presents needed, your presence is gift enough.

He says that means we don’t give anything.

I say that we should at least take a card or a small token for this little boy’s birthday. It says not gift needed but not “don’t get one”.

If it was me throwing the party I would put something like that as not to excluse any children who may not be able to afford to get anything. Hubby says not so.

It has turned into a funny little argument today.

Okay Catholic friends, I trust your advice…if it means I am right. LOL 👍
Click to expand...
I think a card is in order. particularlyif your daughter makes it! Also, i would bring a little gift, but I would be sure to give it to the mother when no one is looking so as not to make others feel they atually should have brought a gift. Maybe your husband wouldnt’ mind that. Especially if you are not making the point that you know better than he about doing the right thing, but rather, it would make you feel so good if you did it.
 
Don’t bring a gift.
A card would be lovely.
If you get there & it’s obvious that you’ve really goofed, of course you can send a gift later.
 
I am trying to be an ‘obedient’ wife so we didn’t send a gift.

My daughter and I used large scrapbooking paper to make a “book” card for him. And she drew all the things she liked about their friendship. I put ric-rack and curly ribbon on it, so at least it looks fancy. 😉

I still think we should have sent a little something. But, honestly, I don’t want to iritate my hubby. 😛 I do that enough as it is! 😃
 
Lorik said:
I think the parents are trying to raise a child that is not materialistic and to bring a gift you would undermine those efforts. However, I do think a card would be appropriate.
If you really feel the need to do more, then donate to a children’s charity in the child’s name or if the child really likes animals donate a few bucks to a shelter. You can tell him that b/c he’s so generous to not ask for presents he’s helping a homeless puppy get fed.
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What a wonderful idea!😃 👍
Peace,
Linda
 
My opinion is that although it would be nice to take a gift, it would probably still make the ones who couldn’t afford one feel bad if they didn’t show up with one, despite the invitation.

I like the card idea, especially the homemade card.
 
I think a card is a nice compromise.

Just my own opinion, but if I honestly wanted literally no presents, I wouldn’t just leave it as vague as ‘no presents required’. I would’ve worded the invitation something like ‘we proudly support insert favourite charity here and would prefer that you donate to them in place of a gift’
 
LynnieLew said:
I am trying to be an ‘obedient’ wife so we didn’t send a gift.

My daughter and I used large scrapbooking paper to make a “book” card for him. And she drew all the things she liked about their friendship. I put ric-rack and curly ribbon on it, so at least it looks fancy. 😉

I still think we should have sent a little something. But, honestly, I don’t want to iritate my hubby. 😛 I do that enough as it is! 😃
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This was a wonderful gift from the heart. Good job! You don’t know their reason for asking for no gifts since you didn’t ask. In my case, I don’t buy anything made in china. Also, lots of
people give boys gifts that maybe their parents don’t want
them to have, like guns and monster cards, violent video
games, etc. You were right to go along with your husband,
even if you don’t know why yet.
 
We had this situation too, although it was a wedding. The invitation said the exact same thing. My husband insisted that you bring a present, anyway, that they’re just being polite. I said, no, no present, just a card.

We show up and EVERYONE has a present in their hands. So we quickly opened up the card and threw in a check.

Personally, I think people should be way more specific. If you really don’t want gifts, say, “No gifts, please, just enjoy the party.” If they’re optional, but you don’t want anyone to feel obligated, then you say what the invitation you received said.

I like what you did, though. That’s extremely creative, and I’m sure it was appreciated! 🙂

God bless!

Trish
 
shirleytowers said:
I take it to mean:

Don’t feel that this invitation is about you buying our child gifts.

I think at least a card would be in order. You could also bring a gift, but the party isn’t about the gifts.

We have received invitations like this, too. We brought a card to the party and later sent a gift to the birthday kid because we wanted to give them a present.
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I agree with Shirley.

I would still get a card, and at least a token gift.

And I would try to make friends with this child’s parents. How kind of them!🙂
 
I think it’s a really nice/sweet invitation…

But EVEN if it meant to not bring any gifts, (I’m talking about myself) I’d bring a gift if I can afford it:)

The only reason why I wouldn’t bring any gifts to a b-day party is if I can’t afford it, or if I REALLY don’t have the time for it…
And I don’t mean that it has to be something expensive, but commonly I like to show the appreciation for being invited, and the idea of a card is really nice because at least it’s a reminder of how you care about someone’s b-day:)
 
When we’ve been told no gifts for a child, I’ve done homemade cards with packs of stickers in them, or a book. Not a fancy gift, but I do know the reason is the parents around here just don’t need more “stuff”, so I try to give little educational or consumable items.
 
I would take the family at their word and just enjoy the party.
The card sounds gorgeous! 🙂 Great idea.

Last year for the birthdays of two of our sons we sent an invite that said “in lieu of a gift please bring a plate of food to share.”

Their birthdays are hot on the heels of Christmas and we have a very large extended family who are very generous, so our boys are already far too spoilt. And they are really too young to appreciate all those gifts - it can even be overwhelming at times and they just sit there in a daze in the midst of toys, boxes and wrapping paper.

BUT I knew that our family would not like to arrive empty handed so I thought it would be a nice compromise for them to contribute a dish for lunch.

BUT they all arrived with a gift AND lunch. Oh well. 🙂 It pleases them to be generous so we accepted their offerings with a grateful “You shouldn’t have! You’re so naughty! Thankyou so much!” 🙂

By the time our third son’s birthday rolled around we gave up on the bring a plate thing and just accepted the gifts. I think people will just do what they feel comfortable doing no matter what the wording on the invite.
 
Lorik said:
I think the parents are trying to raise a child that is not materialistic and to bring a gift you would undermine those efforts. However, I do think a card would be appropriate.
If you really feel the need to do more, then donate to a children’s charity in the child’s name or if the child really likes animals donate a few bucks to a shelter. You can tell him that b/c he’s so generous to not ask for presents he’s helping a homeless puppy get fed.
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I agree with this post.
 
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