Oldest sibling who needs help!

[kristleful]

Hello, I am 23 years old and I live with my three younger siblings: 16, 14, and 12, and our dad. I’m sort of the “mom” figure in the house, but still just the big sister. I’m the only one who deeply cares about my Catholic faith (my 14-year-old sister tends to follow my example, though.) I’m trying really hard to keep them all in church and be a peaceful and loving influence. I love my siblings very much.

The help I need is this: I need advice about my 16-year-old sister. She is a good person, but she keeps getting into so much trouble: sex, weed, drinking, stealing… Today she just got caught stealing by the police. It’s always small things, and she even had money with her that I gave her specifically so she wouldn’t steal! My dad is at his wit’s end, and he wants to kick her out. I don’t know what to do. I really want to help her, but she just doesn’t seem to care much about what’s moral or not. It’s weird to me, because she is such a kind-hearted, beautiful person, but she tells me she can’t seem to stop making bad choices.

She’s also three months pregnant now. My dad wants her to give the baby up for adoption, but I know that would break her heart.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Has anyone had a child or younger sibling like that? My dad throws his hands in the air and asks me what he should do. What do I tell him? I don’t want him to give up on her.

 

[1ke]

Your sister is acting out, and it might have something to so with your mom not being in the picture. You don’t give details, and that’s OK. She is clearly acting out in a variety of inappropriate ways. Your dad needs to seek professional help.

Your dad is going to have to step up and take responsibility for being the parent.

She needs to be in counseling. Especially with this pregnancy.

I really suggest your family go to counseling at Catholic Charities. Catholic Charities will help her with the decision to parent or adopt. My sister became pregnant at 19, while in college, and decided on adoption after going to counseling at Catholic Charities. Counseling helped my mom/stepdad too. It was the best thing for the child. It’s an open adoption so she is in contact with them, they are a very nice family.