On being judgmental

[joet1943]

I’ve been told I’m judgmental or too intolerant, that I should be more accepting of people who don’t share my values or morals. I don’t confront them , insult them etc. I find that when our friendship starts to build , it becomes clear to me that they have no respect for God or they are a liar or they swear often or they just don’t share my values and, or morals then I back off and I can no longer pursue a closer friendship. Your thoughts please .

 

[blessedtoo]

We are all judgemental at all times. How can we not be? You decide who to befriend by making a judgement on whether you have anything in common, whether that person will be a good, devoted and reliable companion, whether they will enrich your life and you thier’s. It’s naive to think you can get through life without judgements of some kind. The type of person you have described does not sound like someone I would want to be friends with. From simply a practical standpoint, why would I want to attempt a friendship with someone who lies, who doesn’t share my core beliefs, or whose language I find offensive? We generally choose our friends based on commonality. That’s not judgementalism. That’s common sense.

 

[Melo]

I agree. You (along with everyone else) pick friends based on shared values/morals/interests/whatever. That is just human nature. You can pray for them to see the error of their ways but you are not required to befriend everyone you meet.

 

[LSK]

I have found it impossible to leave my home and go into the world without making judgements.

It is also been my experience that it is not being judged that I mind; rather it is being judges ‘wanting’ that I don’t like. If you make a judgement about me and that judgement is that I am fabulous, then judge away.

Perhaps - and I don’t know this from your post - you are being told this because you have mentioned how difficult it is to develop close friendships? I say this only because I was told once that if I don’t want to be lonely then I need only to lower my standards and I can have all the companionship I could handle. However, if I insist on having a standard for both myself and others then I must be prepared to be a little bit lonely once in awhile. I think, and I could be wrong, it is God’s way of assuring that my reliance is on Him rather than on His creatures.

But boy it can be hard!

 

[Godi]

As Christians we had better be judgemental, rejecting bad & embracing the good & avoiding all occasions of Sin.

 

[joet1943]

Thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut and for condoning my beliefs. The main downside is you have fewer and fewer friends, but I am much happier being one with the Lord than one with the world. Peace to you all , Joe.