On Partial Truths

[Melodeonist]

I have a habit of telling partial truths when I don’t want to answer a question or hurt peoples’ feelings. I was wondering about the morality of this.

Here’s some examples of what I mean by “partial truths”.

Q: “Have you ever worn modern style pants?” A: “I have in the past, but I found them uncomfortable.” Truth: I find vintage style pants far more comfortable than modern pants and I prefer how they look, modern pants just aren’t my style. Reason for partial truth: Fear of being judged.

Q: “Why did you start smoking?” A: “Because it helps me think.” Truth: I wanted to try smoking because I was interested in it, heard nicotine helps you think and calms the nerves, and because I thought it was cool. Reason for telling partial truth: Once again, fear of being judged.

These are just some examples. I tell the truth, but not the full story. As you can see, one of my biggest fears is being judged by others in conversation. For the most part I don’t care what others think in petty matters and I don’t fear judgement; however, in front of some people, usually relatives or acquaintances, the fear kicks in. This is the same reason I have trouble defending the Church in conversations, or admonishing sinners. I am a people pleaser and probably a doormat too.

 

[pianistclare]

None of those examples constitute anything bad.
Stop over analyzing things. No one has to know your reasons for doing anything.
If these people are not your parents… they’re just nosy.
If you think your reasons for your actions are odd and will be judged, that’s a whole different problem.

People make judgments all the time. You likely do too. You have to learn to listen to an opposing opinion and not be upset by it.

It’s just conversation.

 

[Melodeonist]

I thought they probably weren’t as bad as direct lies. The asker mentioned in the OP was my grandfather’s girlfriend, so as you said, she doesn’t need to know the whole story.

Indeed I do judge people from time to time, but I feel judging people is uncharitable so in most cases I confess it. For example, just today I judged Japan’s culture as strange, which is my opinion. Probably not a sin as I didn’t judge anyone in particular and my mind was thinking of the strange, and often perverted aspects of Japanese culture.

 

[pianistclare]

I hope the priest told you that having an opinion which hurts no one directly is not a sin.