On pondering NFP

[LovingHim]

I don’t wanna do the mucus thing either. LOL
I just want something simple–isn’t there anything simple to follow?

Sure thing! But very few seem to like the idea. Don’t know why, as my husband and I love it. It’s called let God surprise you with babies whenever He sees fit, however many (or few) that may be, and to not question “why” for whatever reason. Knowing it is all a part of His divine plan, which is beyond all our understanding and comprehension, for His greater glory and honor, the salvation of souls, for our good, and the good of all the world. Like I said, most prefer NFP to this any day. And the Church allows for either plan. You must follow the plan you believe God is calling you to. One is simple in form (do nothing), but harder in practice (give up all control and putting things completely into the Hands of God.) The other is more complex in form, but somewhat easier in practice (you have some control, even if it isn’t 100%.) The choice is yours. Thank God we have a choice.

 

[maryj]

I read a lot of the threads here that relate to NFP. I don’t find NFP to be enjoyable at all. The temps, the observations, the charts, ugh! It’s so un-sexy! Just the waking up and taking my temp every morning makes me feel so- carnal. I use the word carnal because every time I put that thermometer in my mouth, I am reminded that it’s a “no-sex” day (I only temp until it’s phase 3).

Anyway, my question here is for those here who tout NFP as so much more effective than ABC. It strikes me as odd when this aspect of NFP is used to prop it up against ABC, because NFP is supposed to be used in order to remain open to life even while trying to avoid. When I hear the 99% effective statistic thrown around, it grates on me because I just don’t think that it fits the Catholic perspective on family planning. If the effectiveness was any factor at all, then condoms would be the “Catholic” way to go. They are non-abortifacient, and fail 15% of the time.

Does anyone else here understand my logic? It just sounds wrong when that statistic is used to cast NFP in a positive light. The other one that bugs me is when I hear people talk about how much intimacy NFP ushers into a marriage. For us, it has banished most of the intimacy. We end up avoiding each other during the fertile periods, and during the infertile periods- if we actually find time to be intimate, well, it doesn’t last very long. Plus, I’m not particularly “in the mood” during my infertile times, so for me, although sex is still nice, I miss being with my husband when my desire is high.

Just pondering today…

Well here’s a difference …When I put that thermometer into my mouth I think…:extrahappy: it’s a sex day.

It bothers you to hear that NFP has helped others usher into their marriages more intimacy?? I"ll bet you don’t mean that the way it sounds.

If you have to make time during your infertile days, do you have to make time during your fertile days? I make time in my day to get a haircut, to go grocery shopping, to do the laundry, how much better is it to make time for intimacy(especially if your hair looks good

what does length of intimate time and infertile time have to do with one another? (think KY) sorry Too much info

 

[Catherine_W]

don’t wanna do the mucus thing either. LOL
I just want something simple–isn’t there anything simple to follow?

Mucus observations, are super simple, its just like wiping after you use the restroom. You are already going to use the restroom, you will already wipe… its just taking 1 extra second to look at the paper and see the color and stretch. It’s super easy, if you give it a try it will become habit in a few weeks.

I am one to be pretty grossed out by mucus, be I got used to making these observations very quickly. It seemed gross when I first heard about it, but after I started charting, I realized how easy it is.

Good luck finding an NFP method that you like

 

[whatevergirl]

Mucus observations, are super simple, its just like wiping after you use the restroom. You are already going to use the restroom, you will already wipe… its just taking 1 extra second to look at the paper and see the color and stretch. It’s super easy, if you give it a try it will become habit in a few weeks.

I am one to be pretty grossed out by mucus, be I got used to making these observations very quickly. It seemed gross when I first heard about it, but after I started charting, I realized how easy it is.

Good luck finding an NFP method that you like

Oh…ok. Oh my gosh…I guess I thought it would be more challenging. And what does this mean? (you can pm me if you like–It might be getting into a ‘too much info’ zone now) LOL

 

[LovingHim]

Here’s one tip. If you get that great big glob of mucous that falls right on your toilet paper, and you barely had time to catch it, and its jiggly, and slimy, and clearish your fertile. I’ve literally gagged upon seeing/feeling it. It does look like egg white, and now, when I feel that coming I don’t even look anymore. Just go with fertile and spare the upset stomach. The other kinds don’t bother me to look at, crazy I know. Oh, and I have so much trouble seeing raw eggs now. Never before had troubles, but, now, the sight of them makes me ill too, so I just crack them without looking now.

 

[whatevergirl]

Here’s one tip. If you get that great big glob of mucous that falls right on your toilet paper, and you barely had time to catch it, and its jiggly, and slimy, and clearish your fertile. I’ve literally gagged upon seeing/feeling it. It does look like egg white, and now, when I feel that coming I don’t even look anymore. Just go with fertile and spare the upset stomach. The other kinds don’t bother me to look at, crazy I know. Oh, and I have so much trouble seeing raw eggs now. Never before had troubles, but, now, the sight of them makes me ill too, so I just crack them without looking now.

This may sound bizarre, but I have never noticed this in my life. I don’t ever look. When I first started reading about mucus on here, I swear I thought…from the nose! I kept reading and reading…and was like…whaaaat? Mucus from …where? Oh my gosh, I’m embarassed to admit all of this, but this is why I need help in this area. Ok. So, there are different colors. If it is clear–I’m fertile. If it is…not clear, I’m infertile. Is it really obvious?

This thread has been so helpful–thank you! One more question…approximately, when does one see the clear vs not clear mucus? Can you provide a general timeframe? (so I can start knowing when to look)…etc…thank you. (Oh, and can this ever be ‘off?’ Like can one see clear mucus and be infertile?)

My husband and I followed NFP early in our marriage, but now I’m starting to realize that that was basically a calendar method. (we just didn’t use birth control (condoms or the pill, etc)!!

 

[dwc]

Used it for 10 years, then I needed surgery and more children are not an option. Honestly, NFP was very hard on our marriage. DH has a work schedule that’s very erratic and includes a lot of pm (5pm until 2 or 3 am) and night (11p -7a) shifts. Invariably, it seemed he was home when it was time to abstain and at work when it would be ok. As our family grew and I became stretched more and more thin and more tired, I began to resent having to choose between satisfying my husband/marriage and having to risk having another child before I felt I could handle it. After we became pregnant when we were trying to have more space between children, I began distrusting NFP and became afraid of r having sex.

DH was grumpy because he was frustrated sexually, and that didn’t help, either. We didn’t experience the incredible closeness that people say NFP brings to the marriage. Instead, we had more distance between us, because we didn’t want to start feelings that would just end in frustration.

It didn’t help that intellectually, neither of us ever really grasped why it was ok to space children and interfer with God’s will by use of NFP but not ok to space children and interfer with God’s will by the use of non-hormonal or IUD birth control. We were obedient, but it was not good for our marriage.

Since NFP left our lives, we now have the closeness and intimacy that other people say they get with NFP. I always wished we could experience that part of NFP, but we never did.

 

[whatevergirl]

Okay–I just googled this again (I google this a lot) and apparently, on week 2 during a woman’s cycle–this is most likely the time when I would be infertile…then in week 3…I’d be fertile, and week 4 as well…

How exciting to see it spelled out like that! Ok, I’m going to start charting this…thanks for the help everyone! This is another thing that taking the pill hinders–it hindered me knowing how my own body works!

 

[SeekerJen]

This may sound bizarre, but I have never noticed this in my life. I don’t ever look. When I first started reading about mucus on here, I swear I thought…from the nose! I kept reading and reading…and was like…whaaaat? Mucus from …where? Oh my gosh, I’m embarassed to admit all of this, but this is why I need help in this area. Ok. So, there are different colors. If it is clear–I’m fertile. If it is…not clear, I’m infertile. Is it really obvious?

I don’t know what kind of contraception you used to use, but when I was on the pill several years ago, I didn’t have mucus changes at all. It was surprising to find that, once off the pill, my body did exactly what the book I had purchased said it would (the book being “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler). Sometimes the changes are obvious. I find that “fertile” is the most obvious: it’s the wettest, slipperiest, and stretchiest. The changes are a lot more gradual between the other types, for me at least. The difference between creamy and sticky (less fertile and not fertile, respectively) isn’t nearly as obvious, IMO.

I learned it in the hopes of becoming pregnant more quickly. Didn’t work so well for us and now I don’t even bother charting. It is enlightening to know my cycle symptoms, though.

 

[Catherine_W]

This may sound bizarre, but I have never noticed this in my life. I don’t ever look. When I first started reading about mucus on here, I swear I thought…from the nose! I kept reading and reading…and was like…whaaaat? Mucus from …where? Oh my gosh, I’m embarassed to admit all of this, but this is why I need help in this area. Ok. So, there are different colors. If it is clear–I’m fertile. If it is…not clear, I’m infertile. Is it really obvious?

In the Creighton method…

Clear is always fertile,
Stretching an inch or more is always fertile
Lubricative sensation is always fertile,

Also, after you complete your fertile mucus period then you should wait 3 days before intercourse if you are trying to avoid.

 

[whatevergirl]

Thank you Catherine–I replied to your pm.

 

[whatevergirl]

sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T8N-3TJC5J5-B&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=1fdac29ef4569ad4d9011ebbaa5853f4

Look at this link–it talks about an Ovulon monitor? That would be really easy!

But, now that I’m less in the dark–and I showed my hubby this thread, and he is excited that it makes more sense for us now! He read through it, and said…“wow, that looks easier than we made it out to be!” It really seems pretty easy–now I know exactly what I’m looking for. Up to this point, since our commitment to NFP last year–we have just been ‘winging’ it and being very over conservative. (We are not certain if we will intend to have any more children, although–we are open to new life and a new baby if God wishes that for us)

 

[dulcissima]

Hey whatevergirl, it’s really not so gross and actually pretty amazing to figure out how your body works. OK, this is going to sound strange considering it’s been almost 2 years now that I have been abstaining (you know, due to being divorced and all) but for whatever odd reason, I decided to start charting. I’ve been doing it now for the last 10 cycles. That cervical mucous is really easy to spot, and it really is totally not gross at all. If I were to be doing NFP if I was married and either TTA or TTC, I would probably choose Creighton because I think it is the simplest method.

I think at our age (and I am a couple of years older than you) it is actually a really good idea healthwise to be familiar with your body. I’ve been amazed at how regular and like clockwork it all is. I also had never really been so aware of how my mood can change during my cycle. I think learning about this is like learning about yourself. It’s a good thing. I think it will be great if you and your husband can also talk about all of this. My hunch is you’ll probably get a whole lot closer if you can talk about it without feeling weird.

Have you looked at fertilityfriend.com at all? That is a great free site where you can record all of your data. It does all the math and everything for you, plus gives you good information on what to be looking for.

 

[whatevergirl]

Hey whatevergirl, it’s really not so gross and actually pretty amazing to figure out how your body works. OK, this is going to sound strange considering it’s been almost 2 years now that I have been abstaining (you know, due to being divorced and all) but for whatever odd reason, I decided to start charting. I’ve been doing it now for the last 10 cycles. That cervical mucous is really easy to spot, and it really is totally not gross at all. If I were to be doing NFP if I was married and either TTA or TTC, I would probably choose Creighton because I think it is the simplest method.

I think at our age (and I am a couple of years older than you) it is actually a really good idea healthwise to be familiar with your body. I’ve been amazed at how regular and like clockwork it all is. I also had never really been so aware of how my mood can change during my cycle. I think learning about this is like learning about yourself. It’s a good thing. I think it will be great if you and your husband can also talk about all of this. My hunch is you’ll probably get a whole lot closer if you can talk about it without feeling weird.

Have you looked at fertilityfriend.com at all? That is a great free site where you can record all of your data. It does all the math and everything for you, plus gives you good information on what to be looking for.

I agree with you, and will check out that link–thank you! I have been randomly visiting site, and pm-ing people on here, as far as education goes these days. haha I think that this sounds very easy, actually–and in discussing this with my husband tonight–he never knew any of this either. I said, how did we pass health? ha:blush: His face lit up when he read through this thread, and saw how easy this would be to chart–and how it is effective. (We followed the calendar method early in our marriage–and our son was born. ha So, he was really not for something that was not more accurate, and structured. We are very pleased to read this here tonight, you have no idea!)

Let me ask this…when a woman stops menstruating…and is in menopause, will she stop producing mucus altogether? It would seem so, from what I’m reading.

 

[dulcissima]

I agree with you, and will check out that link–thank you! I have been randomly visiting site, and pm-ing people on here, as far as education goes these days. haha I think that this sounds very easy, actually–and in discussing this with my husband tonight–he never knew any of this either. I said, how did we pass health? ha:blush: His face lit up when he read through this thread, and saw how easy this would be to chart–and how it is effective. (We followed the calendar method early in our marriage–and our son was born. ha So, he was really not for something that was not more accurate, and structured. We are very pleased to read this here tonight, you have no idea!)

Let me ask this…when a woman stops menstruating…and is in menopause, will she stop producing mucus altogether? It would seem so, from what I’m reading.

From what I have read, as you get older and closer to menopause, one of the signs is that you will have fewer days of cervical mucous. Right now I still have 4 days, so guess I don’t have to start worrying yet…

 

[Catherine_W]

Hello Whatevergirl

I could not PM you because its says your mail box is full. Please let me know when I can PM you again and I will answer your questions the best I can.

 

[LovingHim]

This may sound bizarre, but I have never noticed this in my life. I don’t ever look. When I first started reading about mucus on here, I swear I thought…from the nose! I kept reading and reading…and was like…whaaaat? Mucus from …where? Oh my gosh, I’m embarassed to admit all of this, but this is why I need help in this area. Ok. So, there are different colors. If it is clear–I’m fertile. If it is…not clear, I’m infertile. Is it really obvious?

This thread has been so helpful–thank you! One more question…approximately, when does one see the clear vs not clear mucus? Can you provide a general timeframe? (so I can start knowing when to look)…etc…thank you. (Oh, and can this ever be ‘off?’ Like can one see clear mucus and be infertile?)

My husband and I followed NFP early in our marriage, but now I’m starting to realize that that was basically a calendar method. (we just didn’t use birth control (condoms or the pill, etc)!!

Yes, from “down there.” The best part about learning the various mucous types for me was learning that I don’t have chronic vaginal infections. I always thought so as a teen and young adult before I learned it. I am just one of those people who has tons of creamy mucous, and rarely any dry days. Some people are like that. So, it can help you to learn a lot about your body. I’m sure glad to not “own stock” in Monistat anymore. Maybe you will discover something that might help you one day, or even save your life. You just never know. And, while, yes, there is an ick factor, most of that goes away in time. It becomes habit even. I still observe my mucous today, even though we don’t record it, or time our relations according to what I discover. I even have learned to know what kind I have by just wiping, not even looking, and am always excited to find out I was right. You get crazy with this, but its a fun and good kind of crazy. The kind you feel when you are doing what you know in your heart, mind and soul to be right. God bless your efforts. Oh, and www.fertilityfriend.com really helped me to better get a grasp on this. It has a place to chart online and they check your charts and progress and all, for free! But, warning, it is not Christian based and does have information about contraceptions and birth control. So, just ignore all that (say a prayer of reparation) and you should be fine.

 

[whatevergirl]

Yes, from “down there.” The best part about learning the various mucous types for me was learning that I don’t have chronic vaginal infections. I always thought so as a teen and young adult before I learned it. I am just one of those people who has tons of creamy mucous, and rarely any dry days. Some people are like that. So, it can help you to learn a lot about your body. I’m sure glad to not “own stock” in Monistat anymore. Maybe you will discover something that might help you one day, or even save your life. You just never know. And, while, yes, there is an ick factor, most of that goes away in time. It becomes habit even. I still observe my mucous today, even though we don’t record it, or time our relations according to what I discover. I even have learned to know what kind I have by just wiping, not even looking, and am always excited to find out I was right. You get crazy with this, but its a fun and good kind of crazy. The kind you feel when you are doing what you know in your heart, mind and soul to be right. God bless your efforts. Oh, and www.fertilityfriend.com really helped me to better get a grasp on this. It has a place to chart online and they check your charts and progress and all, for free! But, warning, it is not Christian based and does have information about contraceptions and birth control. So, just ignore all that (say a prayer of reparation) and you should be fine.

Thank you for your post! I actually am a little excited about learning all of this. My husband said last night, that he is embarassed that we didn’t know this…haha He said that he is equally excited to learn something that is effective for wanting to become pregnant, or not.

I have a question–will intense workouts cause an increase in mucus? My husband is concerned that now that I’m working out more frequently again, that I might get an increase in mucus, but maybe it’s due to working out? I am planning to go to Borders today, to buy a book on this!

 

[LovingHim]

Thank you for your post! I actually am a little excited about learning all of this. My husband said last night, that he is embarassed that we didn’t know this…haha He said that he is equally excited to learn something that is effective for wanting to become pregnant, or not.

I have a question–will intense workouts cause an increase in mucus? My husband is concerned that now that I’m working out more frequently again, that I might get an increase in mucus, but maybe it’s due to working out? I am planning to go to Borders today, to buy a book on this!

I don’t think it increases it, but, I think you can mistake perspiration spots on your underwear for fertile (wet) mucous. Also, intensely working out can affect the natural rhythm of your cycles. This might alter the predictability of your fertile and infertile times, as well as your periods. If you are already irregular, you probably won’t notice much difference. But, if you are “like clock work” be prepared to be extra observant, cause you won’t be able to predict like you once might have. That’s all I know, others will probably know more.

 

[maryj]

This question is for those that have posted and stated that NFP did not help their marriage at all.

Do you have something to compare this to? In other words (without asking for personal details or confessions) were you practicing artificial contraception prior to using NFP?

NFP does not outwardly seem to have made our intimacy closer or made us seem to love one another more in our marriage…but I can tell you the truth when I look back I would not trade our marriage for what it was before. There was more bickering back then, more fighting, less patience, more stress and more strife before NFP. I didn’t realize how much until we lived our lives in line with the church’s teachings.

I don’t think the marriage closeness from NFP comes from the charts and the temp taking and the abstaining. I think couples invite bountiful grace into their lives because they are doing something out of love for God even though it is hard for them. This can be said for anything such as going to Mass when you don’t feel like it, keeping your promises when you don’t really want to or anything that God wants us to do that is hard for us. Much Grace can be obtained this way. Hope this helps.

Spot on!! I am right there with you, wouldn’t go back for anything.Everything about our marriage is better, I attribute that to God’s grace.