On the joy of death and dying

[Robert_Sock]

My experience in wanting to commit suicide:

I was going about my life quite normally. I was not drinking or doing any drugs and I had no thoughts of suicide, I was not mentally unstable. All of a sudden I went into a panic attack where I experienced an unbearable state of mind where I felt I could not breathe. My mind had nearly completely disappeared. I had no recollection of who I was, nor had I any memory of any of my past. I was almost completely mentally incapacitated. There was no free will. Suddenly I heard a wicked, evil voice in me commanding me to kill myself, which I would certainly have done if I had a gun. I managed to have just enough sense to take 30mg of Zyprexa, 6mg of Xanax, and several sleeping pills (all very large dosages) which I knew would not kill me but would almost immediately cause me to fall asleep, which I did. When I awoke, the panic attack was completely gone and I had no suicidal thoughts whatsoever. But I felt traumatized that I could experience such a state. I went back to being my normal self and was in no way psychotic. I realized that if I could experience such a state being the strong-willed person that I was, anybody could experience a similar suicidal state. I have not had a state like this for about five years now and I pray to God that it will not ever return.

This is why I’m now so against gun ownership, where so many gun owners, or their loved ones, have committed suicide. I have to wonder how many of those who have committed suicide did so based on their own rational free will. I believe the same could be said of gun murders where the killer is momentarily mentally incapacitated.

I’m still dismayed where such a state-of-mind could possibly come from, except something totally demonic where the force is originating from totally outside of the person.

We live in a world where so much unexplainable evil dwells, and nobody should ever think they are beyond such an experience!

 

[Robert_Sock]

I apologize if I caused you pain by my comments. I did not mean to infer that your life is miserable; the comment I think you are referring to was an off-hand remark about the nature of the thread, not meant to describe your life. I thought we had a friendly online relationship and am sorry for my remarks.

Thanks! This is most comforting for me to hear!

 

[ANV]

1
Again I saw all the oppressions that take place under the sun: the tears of the victims with none to comfort them! From the hand of their oppressors comes violence, and there is none to comfort them!
2
And those now dead, I declared more fortunate in death than are the living to be still alive.
-Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4

Thanks to ANV for sharing this with me! There are truly empathic, loving hearts living in this world!

I agree, but I doubt it’ll be that way. More likely, what I’m suffering now is just a brief glimpse of my eternity.

 

[ThisOne]

Is there anything inherently wrong with anything I have posted? Is my being joyful and optimistic about entering our Heavenly home, and encouraging others to be just as joyful and optimistic, offensive to anyone? Is meditating on death, as taboo as it may be in our culture, something that cannot be therapeutic and provide a glimpse of optimism and hope for those suffering from a mental illness? Is not Heaven meant to be our true home? If so, why do not more people take more time to meditate upon it and learn not to be afraid of their death that is necessary for them getting there? Again, I know the answer to this last question: We have been conditioned from an early age to treat death as a taboo subject and to deny that this world contains so much evil that affects each and every one of us each day of our life. Only when we get to Heaven will we become fully aware of this.

We are put on this planet for a reason, and that reason is not to turn up our nose at it but to bring Christ to those who hurt. To turn up one’s nose at matter is to turn up one’s nose at God.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Thinking and talking about death is so taboo in our culture

We have shows like “Walking Dead,” “Dead Like Me,” zombies, vampires, satanic material of every form permeating into all forms of “entertainment”…and yet death is “taboo” in our culture? Are you so sure about that? Or are you just meaning regular people, just trying to live their lives peacefully in the midst of all the darkness and madness?

 

[Robert_Sock]

We are put on this planet for a reason, and that reason is not to turn up our nose at it but to bring Christ to those who hurt. To turn up one’s nose at matter is to turn up one’s nose at God.

We are here to learn how to love. We need not love when people mistreat us, but we must learn to forgive and continue to love them. We must remember that this is not our home, but a very temporary stopover that will soon come to an end. Loving those that hurt is always paramount to our existence here in this world.

 

[Rosebud77]

a long tirade of the gospel according to RS?

No thank you; “I choose Jesus!” I choose Light not darkness…

 

[Tim_D]

a long tirade of the gospel according to RS?

No thank you; “I choose Jesus!” I choose Light not darkness…

Indeed. Apparently the Parable of the Talents means little to Robert.

“For to every one that hath shall be given, and he shall abound: but from him that hath not, that also which he seemeth to have shall be taken away.”

Hiding from the world is not “detachment” and one could make the comment that he seems to presume quite a bit, including his pre-ordained place in Heaven.

 

[ThisOne]

We are here to learn how to love. We need not love when people mistreat us, but we must learn to forgive and continue to love them. We must remember that this is not our home, but a very temporary stopover that will soon come to an end. Loving those that hurt is always paramount to our existence here in this world.

You’ve contradicted yourself. First you say “need not love when people mistreat us,” but then you say “we must learn to forgive and continue to love them.” Which is it?

You’re turning up your nose at God’s creation. Life is not to be despised. Not in the Catholic faith, anyway.

 

[Robert_Sock]

You’ve contradicted yourself. First you say “need not love when people mistreat us,” but then you say “we must learn to forgive and continue to love them.” Which is it?

You’re turning up your nose at God’s creation. Life is not to be despised. Not in the Catholic faith, anyway.

We need not love the mistreatment itself, but we are bound to forgive and continue loving. We should always love live, and we should especially be joyful and always looking forward to our Heavenly home. We can love the good that our human nature contains, but we need to also realize that it contains much corruption, corruption that ought to be despised when compared to the glorified bodies that we will receive at the time of the resurrection. Many would wish to live eternity in this miserable and corrupt world, caring nothing about our true home in Heaven which is where God has always intended us to be.

O Jesus, Thou hast set me apart from the world; what, then, shall I seek therein? Thou hast created me for Heaven; what, then, have I to do with the world? Depart from me, deceitful world, with thy vanities! Henceforth I will follow the Way of the Cross traced out for me by my Redeemer, and journey onward to my heavenly home, there to dwell forever and ever.
-The Way of the Cross, by St Francis of Assisi.

 

[ThisOne]

My experience in wanting to commit suicide:

I managed to have just enough sense to take 30mg of Zyprexa, 6mg of Xanax, and several sleeping pills (all very large dosages) which I knew would not kill me but would almost immediately cause me to fall asleep, which I did. !

That you had the drugs on hand indicates you have been treated by a psychopharmacologist, so your experience is likely attributable to your psychological state, not demons. I do hope you are keeping your psychiatrist informed about your intake of such large doses of medicine and that you return to the dosage your doctor has prescribed for you.