D
dzheremi
Guest
Coming from Protestantism, I did not enter Catholicism with any sort of preconceived notion of how the liturgy should be performed, or really for that matter what “liturgy” is. That came slowly, and within an entirely Catholic framework. As time has gone by, the concept has become enhanced in my mind by visits to monasteries, various churches, talks with priests and brothers of various religious orders, and lots and lots of reading. I have taken to reading from the liturgy of St. Basil every night before I go to sleep. It is an excellent way to focus on God.
Maybe I suffer from a sort of spiritual selfishness or restlessness to be thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else, but one thing that I have noticed in all of this is how the “deeper” (for lack of a better word) that I go into actually studying the liturgy, the more I want something other than the life of a Latin Catholic layperson. When I visited the Benedictine monastery at Mt. Angel back when I lived in Oregon, for instance, what I was most struck by was not the beauty of the grounds, or the amazing library, or even the resonance of the antiphon sung at noon prayer, but by how everything there seemed to be operating on a completely different level than what I experienced on a day to day basis at Mass or other regular functions in the local church (this could be because I usually went to Mass at the local Newman center, which seemed geared mostly to teens, but I digress). It actually reminded me of my all too brief visit paid to the local Orthodox Church prior to my becoming Catholic - not in form so much as in the general atmosphere of holiness. In fact, since I was visiting the monastery with my then priest who I had spent many hours in conversation with by that point, I dispensed with the formalities and asked him why memorizing the responses as per the rubrics was incumbent upon all RCIA candidates while visits to places like the monastery were not. He said that the monastic life is not for everyone and besides contains a lot more than what we had been able to see in one visit, which of course is true, but that once you are attuned to this side of the faith it does not seem so hidden or different in relationship to the Mass that we celebrate every day.
That was already a while ago by now, but since then I’ve only seen more and more examples that reinforce the idea that a pound of liturgical preservation (that is, preservation of the traditional liturgies that have been in use throughout the world for centuries) is worth all the “charismatic movements” or whatever else in the world. The trouble is that whenever I try to seriously discuss this with someone in the church at a local level, I get a few what seem like stock answers:
As with most things that I am having trouble with, I don’t know what this means for my faith so I am posting this here because I respect the opinions of the people here, and value your (name removed by moderator)ut. If you have ever gone through a period of low faith or “dry” spiritual life, how did you get out of it? Conversely, if you have gone through a period of “high” faith (or an irritatingly strong desire for it!) and found yourself in some place you hadn’t set out to be as a result, please post your story! I am struggling with the fact that in trying to listen to and follow God I might more easily be tricked into listening to myself (I know me, and I wouldn’t take my advice!) or this or that faction within or outside the Church, and end up just as lost as I feel now as a result.
Maybe I suffer from a sort of spiritual selfishness or restlessness to be thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else, but one thing that I have noticed in all of this is how the “deeper” (for lack of a better word) that I go into actually studying the liturgy, the more I want something other than the life of a Latin Catholic layperson. When I visited the Benedictine monastery at Mt. Angel back when I lived in Oregon, for instance, what I was most struck by was not the beauty of the grounds, or the amazing library, or even the resonance of the antiphon sung at noon prayer, but by how everything there seemed to be operating on a completely different level than what I experienced on a day to day basis at Mass or other regular functions in the local church (this could be because I usually went to Mass at the local Newman center, which seemed geared mostly to teens, but I digress). It actually reminded me of my all too brief visit paid to the local Orthodox Church prior to my becoming Catholic - not in form so much as in the general atmosphere of holiness. In fact, since I was visiting the monastery with my then priest who I had spent many hours in conversation with by that point, I dispensed with the formalities and asked him why memorizing the responses as per the rubrics was incumbent upon all RCIA candidates while visits to places like the monastery were not. He said that the monastic life is not for everyone and besides contains a lot more than what we had been able to see in one visit, which of course is true, but that once you are attuned to this side of the faith it does not seem so hidden or different in relationship to the Mass that we celebrate every day.
That was already a while ago by now, but since then I’ve only seen more and more examples that reinforce the idea that a pound of liturgical preservation (that is, preservation of the traditional liturgies that have been in use throughout the world for centuries) is worth all the “charismatic movements” or whatever else in the world. The trouble is that whenever I try to seriously discuss this with someone in the church at a local level, I get a few what seem like stock answers:
- Latin mass is offered at Church X on day Y (generally only once a month, but effectively never now that I’ve moved back to CA), as though I’ve pitted myself against the Novus Ordo (which is strange since I’ve always been told that there’s nothing non-traditional about the N.O. but the language, which I don’t care about to begin with; I’m not a native Latin speaker
) - Well, you know, Jeremy, this is just the way our particular Church celebrates. Others do it their way, and we’re all Catholic, so it’s fine. In fact, it’s better than fine - there is a great deal of strength and beauty in the variety of worship found in the Church. (Of course there is; this isn’t the issue)
- Maybe you’re being called to be a monk/priest/etc.? (Maybe, but I would think there would be more to this calling than simply wanting to live a deeper faith; I would think all Christians want this, even if they’re completely happy with their mode of worship. I’m not sure this is such a good basis to explore a possible vocation, anyway.)
As with most things that I am having trouble with, I don’t know what this means for my faith so I am posting this here because I respect the opinions of the people here, and value your (name removed by moderator)ut. If you have ever gone through a period of low faith or “dry” spiritual life, how did you get out of it? Conversely, if you have gone through a period of “high” faith (or an irritatingly strong desire for it!) and found yourself in some place you hadn’t set out to be as a result, please post your story! I am struggling with the fact that in trying to listen to and follow God I might more easily be tricked into listening to myself (I know me, and I wouldn’t take my advice!) or this or that faction within or outside the Church, and end up just as lost as I feel now as a result.