My prayers for you. God created you precisely because He loves you, He never has stopped loving you for an instant and never will stop loving you, remember all the many pains that Jesus suffered in His life and how He rose glorious and triumphant at the end of it all - so will you if you keep believing and keep hoping.
Please, please, there are help lines out there for you, usually with toll-free numbers you can call. They are staffed by professionals who regularly help folks in your situation, which we here aren’t, I’m afraid.
Directory assistance should be able to help you locate them - please do talk to them.
God bless.
PS - we’ve had a miserable rainy day here, as I finished typing the above I looked out of my window to see an absolutely glorious rainbow. I believe God put it there as a reminder, to me and you, that the rain does end and rainbows and sunshine do come if we have the strength to wait for them.