C
cloudsurfer
Guest
I have been in psych care throughout my adult life, age 21 to age 56 (the present.) After my son was born (age 32) I went to the Johns Hopkins Hospital psych ward in Baltimore to “get a fresh look at the diagnosis.” At the time I didn’t want to be there. I had no faith in the system, I was very sick, and I was worried about my son. at that time it was the number 1, “best psychiatric ward in the world.”
Now I am looking back at the time and I see the help they were trying to give me (and, unfortunately, how my parents and my husband interfered and were not a positive part of the process.) The doctors actually told me exactly what I needed to hear: the diagnosis I had initially been given when I was 21, “schizoaffective disorder,” was a ‘wastebasket diagnosis.’ The first attending psychiatrist called me an “eloquent portrait of major depression.” He said he would be on the look out for signs of manic depression, specifically for “mixed states” of anxiety and agitation. Well things went badly but I always kept this place this psych ward experience in my heart, and now its coming back to me. All my doctors today puts me in the “wastebasket” of supposed “schizoaffective disorder.” At Johns Hopkins I asked, "what should I do if the nexty doctor I see diagnoses me with schizoaffective disorder again? They said “He would be wrong.” This is a long post because it is hard to convey how heartbreaking it can be to seek help in the mental health system. Some people have a good experience. I am proving through a time when I finally have understanding of what IS wrong with me, in place of the bogus nonsense of this pie in the sky wishy washy "schizoaffective disorder,: my mental problems are like a broken leg and the “wait and see” of "schizoaffective disorder:r was always a disaster. I have a sexual injury and I have issues with pain and not being able to handle stimulation. Over time my mind became deranged with improper use of meds and other poor care, Please pray for my heart and for absolutely everyone associated with my life, even the people who have hurt me. God bless you.
Now I am looking back at the time and I see the help they were trying to give me (and, unfortunately, how my parents and my husband interfered and were not a positive part of the process.) The doctors actually told me exactly what I needed to hear: the diagnosis I had initially been given when I was 21, “schizoaffective disorder,” was a ‘wastebasket diagnosis.’ The first attending psychiatrist called me an “eloquent portrait of major depression.” He said he would be on the look out for signs of manic depression, specifically for “mixed states” of anxiety and agitation. Well things went badly but I always kept this place this psych ward experience in my heart, and now its coming back to me. All my doctors today puts me in the “wastebasket” of supposed “schizoaffective disorder.” At Johns Hopkins I asked, "what should I do if the nexty doctor I see diagnoses me with schizoaffective disorder again? They said “He would be wrong.” This is a long post because it is hard to convey how heartbreaking it can be to seek help in the mental health system. Some people have a good experience. I am proving through a time when I finally have understanding of what IS wrong with me, in place of the bogus nonsense of this pie in the sky wishy washy "schizoaffective disorder,: my mental problems are like a broken leg and the “wait and see” of "schizoaffective disorder:r was always a disaster. I have a sexual injury and I have issues with pain and not being able to handle stimulation. Over time my mind became deranged with improper use of meds and other poor care, Please pray for my heart and for absolutely everyone associated with my life, even the people who have hurt me. God bless you.
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