M
Mad_Theologian
Guest
This question relates to confession under out of the ordinary circumstances.
I am carer to my mum who has both a physical problem and a brain injury/mental illness problem. I am solo carer to her so I try to minimise the amount of time I am away. I have a mobile phone [cell phone] and I call to make sure she is ok while I am away. Mum can become quite confused and the physical problem has caused certain joints to disfigure and that is noticeable. She has also had 5 strokes this year and her condition is worse.
Due to those circumstances I was rarely at Mass but I had maintained my spiritual life through, Bible study, LOTH, being a Benedictine Oblate and staying in touch via mail with the religious order I believe that I am being called to serve God in once my caring duties are completed.
I felt the need to go to confession, so I asked to make an appointment. I don’t have a car and the church is a 25 minute walk away or a taxi ride, so I wanted if possible to have such an appointment at a time when I needed to be out. The carer’s payment I get from the government, isn’t the biggest sum so I need to be careful with it.
So I waited 2 weeks and didn’t hear back. I called back and was then contacted by another parish priest. The day I went in, the priest quite bluntly forgot about the appointment and expected me to come back 4 hours later which under my circumstances was impossible.
I had clearly explained the circumstances. So I waited two more weeks to be contacted and finally the senior priest in the parish set up an appointment, which was 7 weeks later than my first call. After the confession, the priest was quite put out about why I wasn’t there and basically said that I wasn’t being a good Catholic. That I should be going to Mass.
The thing is coming home to a women who is confused and crying because she honestly doesn’t know where you were because she forgot, really got to me. When I tried to explain that he then said that they could bring communion to me. Now I know how uncomfortable that would make mum, she doesn’t do well around people and rarely goes out, so when I spoke to our doctor about that, she said it wouldn’t be good for mum, so I said no to that.
The priest pretty much then said that I was a bad Catholic and the inference was don’t ask for confession there again.
That left a rather bad taste in my mouth and I haven’t been back to Mass since and that is almost a year ago. I’m also a convert [received into the church 27th Nov 2005].
What I fail to understand is why I’m such a “bad Catholic”. I will freely admit that it may look that way. I am also doing a theology degree from home, so its not like I’m not getting a decent amount of spiritual food.
And yes, its the priest first parish so maybe he might lack some experience but where does he get off judging me? Because that is what it felt like.
I’m doing the level best I can under the circumstances. They are not ideal but I know my mum’s time here is limited and in my eyes, I believe that God knows I am doing my best and that is all that is being asked of me.
In the eyes of many I am now a lapsed Catholic thus my title here but I don’t feel like a lapsed Catholic
The Rev Mother in the order I continue to discern with tells me that I am doing my best and God understands that. I’ve been discerning with them for 3 years now and they are not worried about me not being at Mass, so could someone please give me an idea why the priest was being so…well to me strange?
I could really do with some (name removed by moderator)ut here. And yes this is the same priest who gave me permission to have the operations I mention in the other thread!
I am carer to my mum who has both a physical problem and a brain injury/mental illness problem. I am solo carer to her so I try to minimise the amount of time I am away. I have a mobile phone [cell phone] and I call to make sure she is ok while I am away. Mum can become quite confused and the physical problem has caused certain joints to disfigure and that is noticeable. She has also had 5 strokes this year and her condition is worse.
Due to those circumstances I was rarely at Mass but I had maintained my spiritual life through, Bible study, LOTH, being a Benedictine Oblate and staying in touch via mail with the religious order I believe that I am being called to serve God in once my caring duties are completed.
I felt the need to go to confession, so I asked to make an appointment. I don’t have a car and the church is a 25 minute walk away or a taxi ride, so I wanted if possible to have such an appointment at a time when I needed to be out. The carer’s payment I get from the government, isn’t the biggest sum so I need to be careful with it.
So I waited 2 weeks and didn’t hear back. I called back and was then contacted by another parish priest. The day I went in, the priest quite bluntly forgot about the appointment and expected me to come back 4 hours later which under my circumstances was impossible.
I had clearly explained the circumstances. So I waited two more weeks to be contacted and finally the senior priest in the parish set up an appointment, which was 7 weeks later than my first call. After the confession, the priest was quite put out about why I wasn’t there and basically said that I wasn’t being a good Catholic. That I should be going to Mass.
The thing is coming home to a women who is confused and crying because she honestly doesn’t know where you were because she forgot, really got to me. When I tried to explain that he then said that they could bring communion to me. Now I know how uncomfortable that would make mum, she doesn’t do well around people and rarely goes out, so when I spoke to our doctor about that, she said it wouldn’t be good for mum, so I said no to that.
The priest pretty much then said that I was a bad Catholic and the inference was don’t ask for confession there again.
That left a rather bad taste in my mouth and I haven’t been back to Mass since and that is almost a year ago. I’m also a convert [received into the church 27th Nov 2005].
What I fail to understand is why I’m such a “bad Catholic”. I will freely admit that it may look that way. I am also doing a theology degree from home, so its not like I’m not getting a decent amount of spiritual food.
And yes, its the priest first parish so maybe he might lack some experience but where does he get off judging me? Because that is what it felt like.
I’m doing the level best I can under the circumstances. They are not ideal but I know my mum’s time here is limited and in my eyes, I believe that God knows I am doing my best and that is all that is being asked of me.
In the eyes of many I am now a lapsed Catholic thus my title here but I don’t feel like a lapsed Catholic
The Rev Mother in the order I continue to discern with tells me that I am doing my best and God understands that. I’ve been discerning with them for 3 years now and they are not worried about me not being at Mass, so could someone please give me an idea why the priest was being so…well to me strange?
I could really do with some (name removed by moderator)ut here. And yes this is the same priest who gave me permission to have the operations I mention in the other thread!
