One of my best friends recently had a daughter

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AllSeasons

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One of my best buddies since middle school recently had a daughter. It’s he and his wife’s first child. I’m thinking of doing something to help them celebrate, like maybe a gift, or maybe taking them out to a meal, or something. Any ideas? Thank you.
 
Home-cooked meals that the parents didn’t have to shop for or cook are very nice when they’ve had a new baby! A little something extra for the freezer would be a nice touch. Bring it in a disposable or “pay it forward” casserole dish. (A “pay it forward” casserole dish means they’re supposed to keep it until they have a chance to give it away when they make something for someone else’s freezer some day…so they don’t have to wash your dish and get it back to you!)
 
At this stage, I don’t think taking them out is a good idea. They are so busy with the baby that they don’t have the energy to go out. Perhaps a gift certificate for a restaurant they can use at a later date. But even that is tricky because some people do not like to leave a baby until the child is almost 1.

I would suggest food they could easily heat up in the microwave. They have no time to cook right now. Or something they could use for the baby that they could use more than one of such as a warm blanket

Angie
 
Anglewannabe said:
At this stage, I don’t think taking them out is a good idea. They are so busy with the baby that they don’t have the energy to go out. Perhaps a gift certificate for a restaurant they can use at a later date. But even that is tricky because some people do not like to leave a baby until the child is almost 1.

I would suggest food they could easily heat up in the microwave. They have no time to cook right now. Or something they could use for the baby that they could use more than one of such as a warm blanket

Angie
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If you bring the food over hot at dinner time, you might get to hold the baby while they eat. :rolleyes:

Honestly, though, when our friends did this for us and our twins, it was about the first time we’d really eaten together at the same time since the babies arrived! Our friends (who were experience parents) held the babies, and life was very good!
 
EasterJoy said:
If you bring the food over hot at dinner time, you might get to hold the baby while they eat. :rolleyes:

Honestly, though, when our friends did this for us and our twins, it was about the first time we’d really eaten together at the same time since the babies arrived! Our friends (who were experience parents) held the babies, and life was very good!
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Yes that is a good idea. However, I think it is best to call ahead so they don’t make something themselves
 
Anglewannabe said:
Yes that is a good idea. However, I think it is best to call ahead so they don’t make something themselves
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Yes, or someone else could be there. Besides, it is fun (and a relief to look forward to the prep you aren’t having to do) for the parents to look forward to the night your friends are bringing their famous whatever-it-is-they’re-famous-for. It is a good idea to ask the mom if there are any foods that aren’t agreeing with her lately or that put the baby off his or her feeding. Some children are pretty particular about what flavors show up in their milk.
 
Well, the thing is I’m a guy, and I don’t really cook.
 
AllSeasons said:
Well, the thing is I’m a guy, and I don’t really cook.
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Oh, you’re a male! Of course you don’t cook!😛

Get them a gift card for a nice takeout meal, or a gift card to a baby/children’s store.
 
AllSeasons said:
Well, the thing is I’m a guy, and I don’t really cook.
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Ok, well sometime you might want to rectify that! Beats eating out all the time.

Here’s a thought: think of something you could do to support the new Dad so that he can spend more time with his wife and baby. Dad’s need to bond too! Maybe getting their car washed, or oil changed etc. Or volunteer to mow the lawn, do Saturday (day off) chores. You can probably think of other alternatives.

It is wonderful for people to think of supporting Mom, but her best support hopefully will be her husband. They are so often shunted aside. Maybe recognition of their importance and role in the family will provide some of what is needed.

You are a super friend for wanting to reach out. A lot of guys don’t.
 
AllSeasons said:
Well, the thing is I’m a guy, and I don’t really cook.
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First call them and make sure they would like supper that night or any other night. Then, go get the supper for them.

Go to most any grocery store, and you will find in the deli, pre-cooked whole rotisserie chickens. Buy one of those. Go to the produce department and you will find pre-bagged salad kits. I like Dole’s “Endless Summer” kit myself - it has a nice balsamic salad dressing, sunflower seeds, and croutons included. You can include dinner rolls, and/or a pre-made dessert, as well as any non-alcoholic beverage. Paper plates and plastic utensils may also come in handy.

An alternative would be to find out what their favorite restaurant meal is, and go get it to go from the restaurant.

I would rather have had actual food than a restaurant gift card that might get lost or not be used for a year.
 
Ohana said:
Ok, well sometime you might want to rectify that! Beats eating out all the time.

**Here’s a thought: think of something you could do to support the new Dad so that he can spend more time with his wife and baby. Dad’s need to bond too! Maybe getting their car washed, or oil changed etc. Or volunteer to mow the lawn, do Saturday (day off) chores. You can probably think of other alternatives.

It is wonderful for people to think of supporting Mom, but her best support hopefully will be her husband. They are so often shunted aside. Maybe recognition of their importance and role in the family will provide some of what is needed.
**
You are a super friend for wanting to reach out. A lot of guys don’t.
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This is a GREAT idea!!! :love::love::love: Guys should take care of other guys the way we females try to help when babies are born.
 
I did call him up, and left a voicemail. I congratulated him again, and said that after it’s calmed down a bit, let’s celebrate. Haven’t heard from him yet - and I don’t expect to for a while - but when I do, I’m thinking of taking him to a bar and buying him some celebratory drinks. Also thinking of getting his daughter something, but not sure what yet.
 
AllSeasons said:
Well, the thing is I’m a guy, and I don’t really cook.
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I’m a woman and I can’t cook either so when I do something nice I will do something creative, like make a CD of soothing music or give gifts.
 
AllSeasons said:
I did call him up, and left a voicemail. I congratulated him again, and said that after it’s calmed down a bit, let’s celebrate. Haven’t heard from him yet - and I don’t expect to for a while - but when I do, I’m thinking of taking him to a bar and buying him some celebratory drinks. Also thinking of getting his daughter something, but not sure what yet.
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😦 I wouldn’t take him out drinking, frankly. That leaves out his wife and possibly gets him home buzzed at least. What about delivering the take-out meal to them? His life has changed forever. He’s not your drinking buddy any more, he’s a father. I hope he doesn’t take you up on your offer. I suspect he won’t.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
😦 I wouldn’t take him out drinking, frankly. That leaves out his wife and possibly gets him home buzzed at least. What about delivering the take-out meal to them? His life has changed forever. He’s not your drinking buddy any more, he’s a father. I hope he doesn’t take you up on your offer. I suspect he won’t.
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Oh come on TRJ. He just had a baby; doesn’t mean his life has to be over.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Oh come on TRJ. He just had a baby; doesn’t mean his life has to be over.
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His life isn’t over, but his previous single/childless life most definitely IS. He is now a dad, and the father of a daughter. Why do you think life is over if someone no longer wants to go out drinking with the boys?

:rolleyes:
 
TheRealJuliane said:
His life isn’t over, but his previous single/childless life most definitely IS. He is now a dad, and the father of a daughter. Why do you think life is over if someone no longer wants to go out drinking with the boys?

:rolleyes:
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Note that the OP did not say, “I’m going to get him wasted and we’ll pick up chicks!” or, “we’re going to go out every Friday and get hammered!” No. He said, I’ll buy him a couple of drinks. Sharing a couple of drinks with a friend… he can’t do that now?

To say that a man can longer see a friend privately once he has a child, yes, in my view that is equivalent to saying he can no longer have a life.

Now, admittedly, you did not say that specifically. What you said was that he is “no longer your drinking buddy. I hope he doesn’t take you up on your offer.”

I simply do not see the difference between the two. Are you saying that he can, in fact, visit with a friend, but that it must never involve alcohol? If so, why? I mean, that would be better than nothing, but I really don’t understand this line of thinking.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
To say that a man can longer see a friend privately once he has a child, yes, in my view that is equivalent to saying he can no longer have a life.

Now, admittedly, you did not say that specifically. What you said was that he is “no longer your drinking buddy. I hope he doesn’t take you up on your offer.”

I simply do not see the difference between the two. Are you saying that he can, in fact, visit with a friend, but that it must never involve alcohol?
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You are in a quibbling mood, aren’t you? :rolleyes:

AllSeasons asked how he can help congratulate his friend’s new child. Most of us suggested that he do something for the TWO of them, his friend and his friend’s wife. It is the gracious thing to do under the circumstances. Those of us who have given birth know what a difficult transition it is to go from having no demands on your time, to having a child demand ALL of your time. Having a meal delivered is a big help to the mom.

Or, he could go the traditional route and buy a gift for the baby.

Taking his friend out drinking after his wife has just had a baby, thereby removing him from his wife and new baby, AND possibly delivering him inebriated back to the house, is a BAD IDEA. Trust me on this.

This has nothing to do with the freedom to hang with his buds once they are settled into their new life with their child. It has everything to do with the occasion of a child’s birth.
 
A box of diapers (call ahead for brand and size) and a 6-pack of beer would be an awesome gift!.. 👍
Maybe a gift card to a baby store (Babies R Us, Buy Buy Baby, Target, etc) if you’re feeling generous!
 
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