One Saint's Vision of Hell

[emeraldcoast]

Your arrogance will get the best of you my friend,

Adolf Hitler converted to Protestanism on April 25, 1933 in Konigsberg, Eastern Prussia according to the National Secretary Klundt. His atrocities were just only beginning.

Cathdefender,
Please give us a link to the source.

“I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.”
( Adolf Hitler, from John Toland [Pulitzer Prize winner], Adolf Hitler, New York: Anchor Publishing, 1992, p. 507. )

The link to the quote is here: stephenjaygould.org/ctrl/quotes_hitler.html

John Toland is a renowned author and an expert on the history or World War Two. I am pretty sure he would not include a quote in his book unless he had a source that could verify its accuracy.

 

[Cathdefender]

Cathdefender,
Please give us a link to the source.

“I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.”
( Adolf Hitler, from John Toland [Pulitzer Prize winner], Adolf Hitler, New York: Anchor Publishing, 1992, p. 507. )

The link to the quote is here: stephenjaygould.org/ctrl/quotes_hitler.html

John Toland is a renowned author and an expert on the history or World War Two. I am pretty sure he would not include a quote in his book unless he had a source that could verify its accuracy.

Sorry, your source is not reliable.

 

[NDfan]

Well, you can pertain this to whatever, but in my book, it is truly Catholic:

Early Christian writing
From the early second century, we have a fragment of one of the lost volumes of Papias, a Christian bishop, who expounded that “heaven” was separated into three distinct layers. He referred to the first as just “heaven”, the second as “paradise”, and the third as “the city”. Papias taught that “there is this distinction between the habitation of those who produce a hundredfold, and that of those who produce sixty-fold, and that of those who produce thirty-fold”.
In the 2nd century CE, Irenaeus (a Greek bishop) wrote that not all who are saved would merit an abode in heaven itself. In Against Heresies, he wrote that only those deemed worthy would inherit a home in heaven, while others would enjoy paradise, and the rest live in the restored Jerusalem.citation needed]
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven

This is very interesting. But it implies that the thief is in paradise (2nd tier if you will) and he confessed at the last moment of his life. So if that defines sixty-fold then something seems teribly wrong.

PEACE

 

[distracted]

Yes, as a matter of fact, I have been raped, tortured, and more. And I don’t wish an eternity of suffering on any of those who did that to me.

neither does God. He wants their salvation worse than anyone…

But, as we’ve both said, I’m not God, it’s not my call.

Well, that’s more “real” than wht some people would say. Some people seem to think if something about God doesn’t make sense to them, it must not be true… pretty dangerous thinking

Those that harmed me, are good Catholics, every one.

They repented? Did they tell you they were sorry?? Otherwise, i don’t see they are good Catholics…

they are saved, I am damned. I accept that.

Only God knows whether someone is saved/damned… Why do you say you are damned??

. I get the part about what is bound on earth is bound in heaven and what is loosed, etc.

Please explain how you understand… so i can see if what you believe is “Catholic”…

I know they’ve gone to confession and moved on. But there is no confession for one who lacks belief.

What do you believe? I know - Big question… but i would like to know where you are coming from… Were u raised Catholic? What is your reliigious background?

called out to God, prayed for faith…no reply.

I’ve had faith for a long time and htis still sometimes happens to me… But Jesus always answers somehow or other… God gave Jesus to intercede for us… In the book of Isaiah it says that “The will of God will be accomplished through Him.” So reaching God means being “in good” w ith Jesus…

People keep telling me I choose hell. Telling me my pride is getting in the way.

What do they think you have pride about?
Actually, i “know” u have pride because ALL humans have that… part of our sinful nature…

apparently I am going to be judged even more harshly because I was taught the truth held by the Catholic church and rejected it. It feels more like it rejected me. But then again…I’m not God. I don’t get to call the shots. I am just supposed to trust and accept, and I don’t.

I was raised Catholic but was not taught my faith very well… I had to teach myself… I wonder how much you know about the faith… maybe you were not taught as well as you think… Or maybe there is some other reason you “rejected”… Maybe you just rejected some aspect of the faith u didn’t understand?? Been there… still go there sometimes… but i just figure… when i have doubts… that the Church has been around longer than i and i kinda don’t have a choice but to accept what She says over what i think or tend to believe… (not always easy, but whatever…).

anyway, wondering where are coming from…
God bless…

 

[distracted]

Christians in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to practice their faith at all as far as I know…

knowing things like that makes me apreciate this country more… although, as i said b4, this country in’t perfect either (long story…)… There is a lot of violation of the Constitituion here…

The Supreme Ct. violated the Constitution to legalize the killing of the unborn… and they refuse to “re-violate it” (as it were) to once again protect unborn children… Actually, they wouldn’ have to re-violate the C… the C actually supports a right to life… but our country is schizophrenic… We preach “christian” values on some issues and forget about them with others… Our country treated Blacks horribly… finally Right won out… Then there were the Mexicans and the Indians…

I know it sounds simplistic but it all stems from M. Luther breaking w/ the Church… All Hell, literally, has broken loose… since he believed in that once saved always saved nonsense…
If you cn get into Heaven without changing, without doing good… well, then, why do good?? And so people don’t…

 

[distracted]

With all due respect, this sounds more like gnosticism and Greek mystery religions than biblical Christianity…

it stands to reason there would be levels of Hell… not everyone is at the same level of evil… Hitler and Stalin would not be on the same level as say… someone who rejected Jesus but lived a “good” life, more or less… anyway…

 

[Nickkname]

St. Faustina wrote in her diary (741):

“Today i was led by an Angel to the chasms of Hell. it is a place of great torture; how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures i saw: the first torture that consittues Hell is the loss of God; the second is perpetual remorse of conscience; the third is that one’s condition will never change; the fourth is the fire that will penetrate the soul without destorying it - a terrible suffering, since it is a purely spiritual fire, lit by God’s anger; the fifth torture is continual darkness and a terrible suffocating smell, and despite the darkness, the devils and the souls of the damned see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own; the sixth torture is the constant company of Satan; the seventth torture is horrible despair, hatred of God, vile words, curses and blashphemies. These are the tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end of the sufferings. There are special tortures destined for particular souls.These are the torments of the senses. Each soul undergoes terrible and indescribable sufferings, related to the manner in which it has sinned. There are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another. I would have died at the very sight of these tortures if the omnipotence of God had not supported me… the sinner … will be tortured throughout all eternity, in those sense which he made use of to sin. I am writing this at the command of God, so that no soul may find an excuse by syaing there is no Hell, or that nobody has ever been there…”

Woe to those who believe not in hell, for they are the ones who mostly go to hell! Not because God hates them, nor because of their disbelief, but because, not believing in hell, they did nothing to prevent themselves from going to hell; they did not wash away Original Sin, nor not continue to live in sin. Because they rejected God’s Mercy, they obviously chose hell, even without articulating it. Like a person who drinks poison without realizing it is poison, he will still suffer the consequeces of his actions. Nevertheless, let us entrust all sinners throughout the world to the all-powerful Mercy of God, that God may not look upon their sins but upon our faith and give them the graces they need to be saved - for the sake of the sorrowful Passion of Jesus!

 

[Cathdefender]

Ever notice that there are too many chiefs and not enough indians?

 

[cheddarsox]

*They repented? Did they tell you they were sorry?? Otherwise, i don’t see they are good Catholics.

*It varies, yes, some of them did, in some general way…“I’m sorry you took those things so hard, we just meant it as a joke.” or “I’m sorry you’re upset” no, none have said, “I’m sorry I raped and tortured you.”

But they are practicing Catholics, I assume they go to confession, they certainly did when they were part of my life. If nothing else, they clearly have NOT rejected the church and her teachings*.
*

. Only God knows whether someone is saved/damned… Why do you say you are damned??

According to what I was taught, one who is raised in the faith and then rejects it, has damned themselves. I’ve also been told that I have excommunicated myself be being apostate (I am a pantheist), and that I will be judged more harshly than someone who was never Catholic, never taught Catholicism, because I was and still rejected it. Also, according to church teachings I am in a state of mortal sin…so there is that as well. Though I guess it is hard to know sometimes if one has truly, deeply and fully met all three criteria.

• Please explain how you understand… so i can see if what you believe is “Catholic”… What do you believe? I know - Big question… but i would like to know where you are coming from.*

I am a pantheist. I believe in the Universe. No, I am most definitely not Catholic. I wonder if I ever really was. Yes, I was baptized and received the other sacraments of initiation, but honestly, my experience and beliefs, even as a very small child were one of a pantheist. I practiced Catholicism because it was all I knew, and I trusted it was correct, because it was all I knew, it was what my family and friends did. It was my entire culture…but my experience and my relation to and perception of life was always pantheistic. I did not want to be confirmed, but I had no choice. I lived under my parents roof, and everyone in the 8th grade class did it. Even though we were cautioned not to if we were unsure, because if we got confirmed and ever left we were basically damning ourselves. But there was really no option to say “no”…I was 12 and my mother was pretty crazy and brutal.

.* Were u raised Catholic? What is your reliigious background? I’ve had faith for a long time and htis still sometimes happens to me… But Jesus always answers somehow or other… God gave Jesus to intercede for us… In the book of Isaiah it says that “The will of God will be accomplished through Him.” So reaching God means being “in good” w ith Jesus… *

Yes, I was raised very Catholic.

• What do they think you have pride about?
  Actually, i “know” u have pride because ALL humans have that… part of our sinful nature…

*I have the pride of thinking I know more than the church, of thinking my feelings matter, of thinking my personal experience has more to say about truth than the one true church established by Christ. And, being that I have rejected those things and followed my heart and experience, they are right. I have given more credibility to what I have experienced than to what the church teaches.

(cont)

 

[cheddarsox]

*(cont)

I was raised Catholic but was not taught my faith very well… I had to teach myself… I wonder how much you know about the faith… maybe you were not taught as well as you think… Or maybe there is some other reason you “rejected”… Maybe you just rejected some aspect of the faith u didn’t understand??
*
Catholicism is so aged and deep, that I know I do not know all of it. I have not read the entire Catechism, or all the ECF, or all the things from the various councils, and Papal bulls and encyclicals, etc. But I did find Catholicism fascinating, still do as a matter of fact, and did quite a bit of reading and studying beyond and above what I was taught in school and at home. And I still do. So I don’t think it is a lack of knowing what the church really teaches.

As far as maybe rejecting for some other reason. I do think there are some extenuating circumstances. The fact that the people who abused me were all Catholics in good standing, and the fact that they justified my abuse using Catholic theology (offer it up, you’re lucky to be blessed with suffering, now you know how Christ felt…etc) But even decades later, and me knowing that Catholicism in no way supports or condones any of the things they did…I still do not have faith.

People tell me I am wrong to reject the truth because of some sinners in the church, and I agree. I try not to do that, but the wounds go pretty deep, so maybe that has a greater hold on me than I am consciously aware of.

The reason I reject, as far as I can tell, is that all the things I was taught about God…don’t fit any of my experience of life, or of the Divine. I’ve always been a spiritual and religious person, and what the church teaches, and what I know and experience just don’t match up. So, there is that pride again. There is me putting my experience before the authority of the church. I don’t know what else to do. I tried to do the Catholic thing for over two decades, really tried, and couldn’t make it work. I feel that I am called in another direction (I am told I am following a demonic voice)
Been there… still go there sometimes… but i just figure… when i have doubts… that the Church has been around longer than i and i kinda don’t have a choice but to accept what She says over what i think or tend to believe… (not always easy, but whatever…). *

I guess that is where I am stuck. I cannot deny everything I know and experience in lieu of what the church teaches. That may be because I just simply don’t trust anything or anyone (but the Universe) because I never had the luxury of being able to learn trust.

I keep asking the question, why should I trust the Church who teaches taht those who hurt me are going to heaven and I am going to hell, who teaches they are full of grace and I am harboring a demon? And it all comes down to authority…they are justified because they “submit”, and I am damned because I do not. I am told I am following a demon because I left the church. No looking at my life, or the fruits born of my spirituality, no, just outright told I am deluded, following lies, damned, prideful, and attempting to justify mortal sin. While others, simply by their practicing Catholicism, I am told, are saved by grace.

Well, I am glad for them that they have been gifted with the gift of faith, and can thus be saved. I have prayed, begged, and done penance and sacrifice hoping for the gift of faith, but it has not been forthcoming.

Now I serve the only Divine that I know.

I do trust that if God is the God the church says He is, and if he cares, he has the power to reach out to me in a way I can recognize, but then, I am told that is prideful to expect the Creator to do more than he has already done just to reach the likes of me, and that God IS reaching out to me and I am purposefully rejecting him again and again.

I don’t think I am…but if the church says so, I must be…right?

It’s not the Divine I don’t trust, it is the church. That is my sin.
And since he left it in charge…I am damned.

 

[Nickkname]

*(cont)

I was raised Catholic but was not taught my faith very well… I had to teach myself… I wonder how much you know about the faith… maybe you were not taught as well as you think… Or maybe there is some other reason you “rejected”… Maybe you just rejected some aspect of the faith u didn’t understand??
*
Catholicism is so aged and deep, that I know I do not know all of it. I have not read the entire Catechism, or all the ECF, or all the things from the various councils, and Papal bulls and encyclicals, etc. But I did find Catholicism fascinating, still do as a matter of fact, and did quite a bit of reading and studying beyond and above what I was taught in school and at home. And I still do. So I don’t think it is a lack of knowing what the church really teaches.

As far as maybe rejecting for some other reason. I do think there are some extenuating circumstances. The fact that the people who abused me were all Catholics in good standing, and the fact that they justified my abuse using Catholic theology (offer it up, you’re lucky to be blessed with suffering, now you know how Christ felt…etc) But even decades later, and me knowing that Catholicism in no way supports or condones any of the things they did…I still do not have faith.

People tell me I am wrong to reject the truth because of some sinners in the church, and I agree. I try not to do that, but the wounds go pretty deep, so maybe that has a greater hold on me than I am consciously aware of.

The reason I reject, as far as I can tell, is that all the things I was taught about God…don’t fit any of my experience of life, or of the Divine. I’ve always been a spiritual and religious person, and what the church teaches, and what I know and experience just don’t match up. So, there is that pride again. There is me putting my experience before the authority of the church. I don’t know what else to do. I tried to do the Catholic thing for over two decades, really tried, and couldn’t make it work. I feel that I am called in another direction (I am told I am following a demonic voice)
Been there… still go there sometimes… but i just figure… when i have doubts… that the Church has been around longer than i and i kinda don’t have a choice but to accept what She says over what i think or tend to believe… (not always easy, but whatever…). *

I guess that is where I am stuck. I cannot deny everything I know and experience in lieu of what the church teaches. That may be because I just simply don’t trust anything or anyone (but the Universe) because I never had the luxury of being able to learn trust.

I keep asking the question, why should I trust the Church who teaches taht those who hurt me are going to heaven and I am going to hell, who teaches they are full of grace and I am harboring a demon? And it all comes down to authority…they are justified because they “submit”, and I am damned because I do not. I am told I am following a demon because I left the church. No looking at my life, or the fruits born of my spirituality, no, just outright told I am deluded, following lies, damned, prideful, and attempting to justify mortal sin. While others, simply by their practicing Catholicism, I am told, are saved by grace.

Well, I am glad for them that they have been gifted with the gift of faith, and can thus be saved. I have prayed, begged, and done penance and sacrifice hoping for the gift of faith, but it has not been forthcoming.

Now I serve the only Divine that I know.

I do trust that if God is the God the church says He is, and if he cares, he has the power to reach out to me in a way I can recognize, but then, I am told that is prideful to expect the Creator to do more than he has already done just to reach the likes of me, and that God IS reaching out to me and I am purposefully rejecting him again and again.

I don’t think I am…but if the church says so, I must be…right?

It’s not the Divine I don’t trust, it is the church. That is my sin.
And since he left it in charge…I am damned.

You should speak to a Priest, even if you’re no longer Catholic. He may have answers for your questions and uncertainities.

There is a Priest on CAF you can PM and ask questions to.

 

[distracted]

Woe to those who believe not in hell, for they are the ones who mostly go to hell!

St. F says this in her diary…

Not because God hates them, nor because of their disbelief, but because, not believing in hell, they did nothing to prevent themselves from going to hell; they did not wash away Original Sin, nor not continue to live in sin. Because they rejected God’s Mercy, they obviously chose hell, even without articulating it. Like a person who drinks poison without realizing it is poison, he will still suffer the consequeces of his actions. Nevertheless, let us entrust all sinners throughout the world to the all-powerful Mercy of God, that God may not look upon their sins but upon our faith and give them the graces they need to be saved - for the sake of the sorrowful Passion of Jesus!

**Very well said… **

 

[distracted]

So, what is mortal sin? Is it the horrible deeds that are done - or the lack of will to stand for what is right?

I can tell you that standing for what is right is not easy. Many people just joke, laugh, get angry, call people names. We think that we are not to stand for anything and to just sit back and take it. Well, we see what is happening in Africa - they are being slaughtered because they do no fighting. And what is going to happen to their children? They will be condemned, if they live, to islam.

i totally agree…

What is happening in Africa?? I don’t watch a lot of TV… though i try to watch news sometimes…

 

[distracted]

If this is true, then I shall utter that one magic word: Revoco.
But before I do that: Please cite your source - preferably a non-RC one.
Because if not, then I could say that Hitler converted back to the RC church, and not back that up either.

don’t mean to offend, but Protestant sources cannot always be trusted… I was taught a Protestant version of history while growing up in this school system in the uS. Big chunks of important history are left out completely… not even referred to (for example, how the Catholic missionaries came to this country, converted the Indians, started schools, etc…)…

I have gotten to the point that i only wnat to read Catholic books…

but for most of my life, i read anything but… didn’t even hardly know there was a “Cahtolic” story to r ead… (history)… so i have a long way to go before things are “equalized”…

 

[distracted]

Cathdefender,
Please give us a link to the source.

“I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.”
( Adolf Hitler, from John Toland [Pulitzer Prize winner], Adolf Hitler, New York: Anchor Publishing, 1992, p. 507. )

Hitler said this in 1992?? Hmmm… Was he speaking through a psychic medium??

 

[distracted]

Cheddarsox: were you ever taught about Jesus - in the Real Presence)?

they justified my abuse using Catholic theology (offer it up, you’re lucky to be blessed with suffering, now you know how Christ felt…etc)

did the actual rapist say this to you??

me knowing that Catholicism in no way supports or condones any of the things they did…I still do not have faith… maybe that has a greater hold on me than I am consciously aware of.

very perceptive… of what may be going on subconsciously… I used to write pages about my feelings … got in touch with my sub-con…

things I was taught about God…don’t fit any of my experience of life, what the church teaches, and what I know and experience just don’t match up.

i have experienced this… i have thought of leaving the Church many times… but what stops me is… one thing in particular… The Real Presence… If you spent an hour There, you would feel differently… i go There, make myself still so i can listen. what Jesus does with you will be possibly different from what He does with me… .

me putting my experience before the authority of the church.

if you have read my Thread: Should priests be allowed to marry? you would see that i question things myself… not bad 2 question… the Church is full of imperfect people, no way you should trust everything they say… The official Church teachings can b trusted but people…

…told I am following a demonic voice)

I don’t feel you are demonically influenced just because you feel this way… If you are, then i guess i am 2 because i have problems in the Churhc - i still question… this one thing, anywya… maybe i will have clarity on that soon… (?)

I never had the luxury of being able to learn trust.

i don’t trust anyone either… You suffer from PTSD. Anyone who has been raped suffers from that and it only dissipates somewhat as the years go by… I don’t think it is anything a person totally recovers from in this life… you just learn to deal with it… and sometimes not very well… i have accepted my distrust of people as being realistic… you really CAN"T trust anyone but Jesus… which is why i always spek of His Real Presence… It is There a person finds him/herself…

they are justified because they “submit”, and I am damned because I do not.

The people telling u this are misguided, at best… I would stay away from them… They are not (my opinion) true Christians… a lot of evil, sociopathic people use religion… as a weapon to control people

and attempting to justify mortal sin. .

if you are in mortal sin, your soul is in need of absolution… True… but that truth may be lost to you, somewhat, in the fact that they are insincere…

. hoping for the gift of faith, but it has not been forthcoming.

You need intimacy w/ Jesus… which can be found @ Mass & Blessed Sacrament… Do you know about that? There are Churches open in the daytime…u can go there and be with Him… sometimes for hours…

told that is prideful to expect the Creator to do more than he has already done just to reach the likes of me,

i used to feel this way… that God didn’t want me, i wasn’t good enoguh, that i might as well not even turn to Him because i wasn’t worthy… that message started to change when i prayed the rosary… At first, the voice of the evil one condemend me with all kidns of hateful stuff (“might as well forget it, God doesn’t care…” etc)… but something (the Holy Spirit) todl me to just keep praying and when i did, those accusing, hateful voices subsided… Of course, that doesn’t mean the devil gave up on me… He just changed tactics… as always… but anyway…
then a very good priest shared wtih me the Real Presence, something i should have known about since childhood, but did not… that is where i found out that I am special to Jesus… loved by Him… and that He will never leave or forsake me… (those were just words before i found Him There, words meant for everyone but me… I understand why you don’t trust the Church. One time i was even at the Blessed S…and i heard these words that i did not understand… I heard “Get out of my Church”. I thought, “What? Huh??? What gives?” Jesus would never say that. But the devil Does want people out of the True Church… It is interesting that Satan (i think it was him) would refer to the Church as “his” but… well, u may have heard the story about how a Pope once heard the devil asking God 4 a century in order to destroy the Church? That was the 20th cent… and he is still there… ('course, he always was…)…

 

[Sam_777]

our.homewithgod.com/divinemercy/
catholicforum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy1.htm

Thank you very much “Techno2000”.

So what’s it like being Christian in Saudi Arabia?? Are Christians there not allowed to practice their faith very well??

Hi “distracted”, since we don’t want to turn this thread from its original subject, here is a link for your questions:
cnsnews.com/ViewForeignBureaus.asp?Page=/ForeignBureaus/archive/200505/FOR20050519a.html

 

[cheddarsox]

You seem to think I crawled out from under a rock in the churchyard, and that I know nothing of Catholicism, nor ever practiced any of it.

Yes, I know, and believe in the Real Presence. I used to go to adoration regularly at lunchtime in highschool, and other times as well…even after I got away from my family. Used to spend hours in the church.

Once during adoration I prayed most fervently over an issue that was pressing on my soul and I heard God speak to me. What I was told was not (as far as I can tell) anything against any Catholic teaching, but when I’ve shared it with a few other Catholics, (not the same who did ill to me) I was told that God would never say that…especially to me. Who did I think I was? A saint or something…(pride again) and that it was when we were most fervently in prayer and close to God that Satan strikes hardest. They tell me what I experienced was Satan, and that clearly I have a history of demonic voices, and that that is what I am following now.

I sort of feel like what sort of God is that, who allows you to be most vulnerable to Satan when you are placing yourself most open to Him? And why, when in the very presence of Christ is one most likely to be led astray by the Prince of lies? But they tell me that is the teaching of the Church…so it must be true. So again, I must NOT listen to or react to anything I get while in prayer or adoration, because it is most suspect!

So what is left? If nothing can be trusted? If the closer you get and the more devoted you get, the more open you are to being fooled by demons? If the more time one spends in adoration, the more one is allowed to be taken in by lies?

I never felt God didn’t want me. I trust that I would not have been created had I not been wanted. But I was told that was wrong as well…that all humans are unworthy, and that we’d better remember that all the time. And that any feeling otherwise, was again, Satan.

This is what I heard from Catholics and Priests when young, and what I read and hear at CAF since revisiting Catholicism a few years ago.

Yes, I have PSTD. That is why I know I wouldn’t condemn anyone to hell, I know a bit of what it is like, and no one deserves that, and that is why I say no one would choose it. But again, I defer to the Church.

I don’t argue with Catholicism, it was given the authority, that is clear in scripture.

 

[inJESUS]

I was told that God would never say that…especially to me. Who did I think I was? A saint or something…(pride again) and that it was when we were most fervently in prayer and close to God that Satan strikes hardest. They tell me what I experienced was Satan, and that clearly I have a history of demonic voices, and that that is what I am following now

i don’t know the content of the message your received but what you were told is not true all the time…

 

[distracted]

You seem to think I crawled out from under a rock in the churchyard, and that I know nothing of Catholicism, nor ever practiced any of it.

What r u talking about? I just asked u a question, that is all… I didn’t assume one way or the other…

. What I was told was not (as far as I can tell) anything against any Catholic teaching, but when I’ve shared it with a few other Catholics, I was told that God would never say that…especially to me. Who did I think I was? A saint or something…(

It is easy to let people form your opinion of the Church, evne when know, on a conscious level that that is not “right”… I have been there… I have not just crawled out from a rock either… and i am sure there are plenty of other Catholics here who have experienced this coldness and antagonism from other Catholics…
And, as stated, i heard what i feel was the voice of the devil myself… I may have heard it several times… but wasn’t always sure it was him… , we can never be sure… in this life… but i would never throw the baby out with the bathwater… For one thing, The Church needs ALL her members… and needs all the potential members out there who don’t believe in Her…

when we were most fervently in prayer and close to God that Satan strikes hardest.

u say something very wise here… only to ruin it with the very next sentence (just my opinion):

They tell me what I experienced was Satan, and that clearly I have a history of demonic voices, and that that is what I am following now.

You keep going back to what other say/think… If it were me… I would get these people out of my life entirely, if u haven’t yet…

I have had to cut off many “friendships” , even family members i love deeply because they were not respectful of my beliefs… & were dragging me down… (very down…)… “If your foot causes u to stumble…”

I sort of feel like what sort of God is that, who allows you to be most vulnerable to Satan when you are placing yourself most open to Him?

satan disguises himself as an angel of light…

Do you ever just get away from everything & everyone and go out into some secluded spot in nature (but not too far away from civilization… in other words, a SAFE place) where ther are NO humans?? Frannkly, i believe that human relationships are what leads most people to Hell… Humans are conduits for Satan… sometimes intentionally, sometimes not…

So what is left? If nothing can be trusted?

I think u need 2 get away from everything… talk to God with no one to interfere or whatever…

Yes, I have PSTD. That is why I know I wouldn’t condemn anyone to hell, , and no one deserves that, and that is why I say no one would choose it.

God doesn’t either… He understands better than anyone… which of course, goes without saying…