One sexual morality thing we forget to talk about, especially with our boys

[VanitasVanitatum]

Ok, I’ll keep that in mind in the future, so I won’t make the same mistake.

 

[Greenfields]

We have a government run ad at the moment on tv,people on a train aware a woman is definetly uncomfortable with a guy sitting looking her up and down.A man realises she’s not comfortable and blocks the other guys vision .:+1:t3:
Some years back I was shopping with my baby ,and an old man followed me into the shop and asked me ‘how much’ …it left me feeling grossed out

 

[on_the_hill]

In that case, I think you would not be culpable for punching him in the nose.

 

[Emeraldlady]

Emeraldlady:

They give the girl their business card and ask them to call them and that is with the covert understanding of paid sex.

Wow, I never heard that giving a woman a business card was considered being covert for paid sex.

When, I was single, I gave a woman my business card once (and she called me). I just saw it as a simple way to give her my cell phone number since my cell was on the card.

Are you saying that I’m making it up?

 

[Magnanimity]

Why are you asking me to prove myself? The guy offered to pay me for sex and is probably 25-30 years older. This is not normal…nor would it be if he was even close to me in age.

You are in no position to tell me that I was asking you to “prove” yourself. It couldn’t be more obvious that I didn’t catch your meaning from the OP. Explain yourself, is all I asked. You were not forthcoming.

Of course, soliciting you for prostitution isn’t normal behavior. But that goes without saying, since its illegality is almost universal. But just so we’re clear, there is no evidence to suggest that the majority of men offer money to women for sex.

All I can say is that I’m sorry this happened to you. But if you’re trying to derive some ubiquitous masculine behavior from these unique and rare experiences, that is the essence of non-sequitur.

Again, I wish you all the best in your future encounters with men.:v:t3:

 

[DarkLight]

I totally agree that it is an under exposed behaviour that seems to thrive on covertness. But it isn’t benign. My 25 year old daughter works for a large chain hardware store. The customer service staff are mostly young girls and guys but the girls are regularly ‘solicited’ by tradesmen that come through all day. They give the girl their business card and ask them to call them and that is with the covert understanding of paid sex. The girls aren’t even dressed suggestively. The uniform is a high collared shirt, work shorts and steal nosed boots. My daughter and her workmates have a laugh about how many cards they were offered in the day but I feel really angry and insulted for them. They shouldn’t have to live with that sort of filth in their workday.

Unfortunately some of this is also a side effect of retail culture. It’s hard to prove retaliation suits in a court of law, and it’s very common for management to treat employees as just making a fuss. It’s not legal but it happens a lot. And the general high turnover and the employees not having a lot of money makes it easy to get away with. Lawsuits tend to take a lot of time to produce any fruit too, which doesn’t help if you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

Wow, I never heard that giving a woman a business card was considered being covert for paid sex.

When, I was single, I gave a woman my business card once (and she called me). I just saw it as a simple way to give her my cell phone number since my cell was on the card.

Nuance, here. There’s usually a different approach. You can tell where their eyes are. And there’s really no reason why a guy would need to give a retail employee his business card anyway. If the store needs his number they’ll put it in the computer.

 

[Emeraldlady]

Emeraldlady:

I totally agree that it is an under exposed behaviour that seems to thrive on covertness. But it isn’t benign. My 25 year old daughter works for a large chain hardware store. The customer service staff are mostly young girls and guys but the girls are regularly ‘solicited’ by tradesmen that come through all day. They give the girl their business card and ask them to call them and that is with the covert understanding of paid sex. The girls aren’t even dressed suggestively. The uniform is a high collared shirt, work shorts and steal nosed boots. My daughter and her workmates have a laugh about how many cards they were offered in the day but I feel really angry and insulted for them. They shouldn’t have to live with that sort of filth in their workday.

Unfortunately some of this is also a side effect of retail culture. It’s hard to prove retaliation suits in a court of law, and it’s very common for management to treat employees as just making a fuss. It’s not legal but it happens a lot. And the general high turnover and the employees not having a lot of money makes it easy to get away with. Lawsuits tend to take a lot of time to produce any fruit too, which doesn’t help if you’re living paycheck to paycheck.

Wow, I never heard that giving a woman a business card was considered being covert for paid sex.

When, I was single, I gave a woman my business card once (and she called me). I just saw it as a simple way to give her my cell phone number since my cell was on the card.

Nuance, here. There’s usually a different approach. You can tell where their eyes are. And there’s really no reason why a guy would need to give a retail employee his business card anyway. If the store needs his number they’ll put it in the computer.

‘Retail culture’ is definitely the context here. The dynamic in a huge hardware outlet is young (many) female customer service staff and older (many) tradesman in a predominantly tough male work environment. Handing over business cards is well known among staff as the process for a particular type of exchange. No doubt it does bear fruit hence the practice continuing.

I think the incredulity and disbelief of many of the posters here is reflected by a lot of society hence most females not feeling willing to report it or ‘make a fuss’. The article I posted above about it mentions that polarisation. Many people that don’t experience it first hand tend not to believe that it actually happens and turn on the person relating the story.

 

[Emeraldlady]

One of the effects of regular porn watching is that males come to regard all females having only utility purposes.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Because he’s a dirty old man and was having a wishful thinking moment?

Seriously just stop. She’s at the supermarket, no prostitute is plying her trade while she’s stocking her cart.

 

[PJH_74]

You are in no position to tell me that I was asking you to “prove” yourself. It couldn’t be more obvious that I didn’t catch your meaning from the OP. Explain yourself, is all I asked. You were not forthcoming.

You ask asked me this:

Again, what actually happened? Number was asked for? A date? “Piece of meat” and “I’m for sale” is very dramatic language.

I also provided further information just a few posts down.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

One thing to remember is that a lot of these predators use a strategy that has worked before and that they know will work on some percentage of the people they hit on. It’s like the guy who stands on a street corner propositioning every woman who walks by. 9 out of 10 of them cuss him out or slap his face but the 10th one will take him up on it.

I’m willing to bet Dirty Old Man with the money has gotten women in the supermarket to respond to his overtures before. Maybe they’re short of grocery money, maybe it’s an economically depressed area, and maybe he thinks they are better looking or less hardened or less likely to steal his wallet or be high on drugs than the hookers on the street. Maybe he asks 10 women, 9 of them are affronted but the 10th one will say You’re on, Grandpa.