One sin better than another?

[PointBreak]

Somewhat of a marriage/family question, but also curious from a more theological perspective:

Is there ever a time when the state of a marriage can be so corrupt that a divorce would be better, morally, than staying? If a marriage is so empty that faithfulness seems impossible to the human heart, wouldn’t the sin of divorce be outweighed by the sins of adultery, unfaithfulness, self gratification, coveting others who have good marriages, lieing to hide the unfaithfulness, the inability to receive the sacraments, etc…?

 

[Della]

PointBreak:

Somewhat of a marriage/family question, but also curious from a more theological perspective:

Is there ever a time when the state of a marriage can be so corrupt that a divorce would be better, morally, than staying? If a marriage is so empty that faithfulness seems impossible to the human heart, wouldn’t the sin of divorce be outweighed by the sins of adultery, unfaithfulness, self gratification, coveting others who have good marriages, lieing to hide the unfaithfulness, the inability to receive the sacraments, etc…?

When couples or one spouse finds him/herself in such a state of mind and heart s/he ought to seek counseling first, not the divorce court. Oftentimes people feel they are in an empty marriage but wouldn’t be if the couple could get proper counseling and help. There are many good Catholic apostolates that deal with this very issue. Anyone in such a position ought contact their parish or their diocese to find what resources are available.

 

[PointBreak]

Suppose this couple had undergone years of counseling, both together and apart. Suppose 3 priests had told one of the spouses that he/she was in the faithless marriage, and should seek annulment? Do you seek a more conservative priest until you get the right answer for being a martyr in your own marriage? The priest that says, “Pick up your cross and keep going.”

 

[Della]

PointBreak:

Suppose this couple had undergone years of counseling, both together and apart. Suppose 3 priests had told one of the spouses that he/she was in the faithless marriage, and should seek annulment? Do you seek a more conservative priest until you get the right answer for being a martyr in your own marriage? The priest that says, “Pick up your cross and keep going.”

No. And I do sympathize with anyone in this situation. Sometimes a divorce is the only way to find release from a bad marriage–it just shouldn’t be the first option if counseling can be tried.

An annulment can be petitioned for after a divorce and has a good chance of going through if the one spouse has had a definite pattern of infidelity from the very start of the marriage, demonstrating that s/he had no intention of keeping his/her marriage vows.

That is, as I understand it, grounds for an annulment. Of course, only a diocesan marriage tribunal could make that pronouncement.

 

[PointBreak]

In this case, the grounds would be that one spouse has never been open to life, and also happens to be completely neglegent, resulting in the other spouse always seeking companionship and longing for a family with someone else. I have trouble seeing how putting away 8 or 10 sins, to pursue a life of true vocation and no mortal sin, can be wrong.