One too Many Heartbreaks

[dmacsully]

I don’t know what to do anymore. My husband and I have one son (5 years old) and have been trying for two and a half years to add to our family. We have been unable to. I can’t express the heartbreak I feel because I feel I get brushed off and get accused of overreacting. I told my husband I was done trying to have another child. I explained that I was getting bitter from being disappointed each and every month when according to my doctor there is no reason why I can’t concieve. I am to the point this morning of not even wanting to hear about impending births of some people I know, or about what this infant is doing or what how that one has grown.
I tried explaining this to my husband. That I feel that we’ve tried, prayed about it, had others pray on our behalf and for some reason the answer has been a resounding NO!
When our son was much younger I had mentioned wanting another child and my husaband had announced that he wanted no more children then. He changed his mind a year or so later but during that time I was told how I couldn’t force things on him and how it was unfair of me to decide this for both of us.
We discussed adoption but whenever I bring it up I get the different reasons to wait (all valid, since the most recent reason is we may be transferred to a new state in the next few months) so now that I’ve made this decision, I’ve said I don’t even want to adopt at this point because I am afraid of the run around from different agencies. Which will lead to even more disappointment and heartbreak.
My husband’s last message to me was he wasn’t ignoring me simply giving me space to process my feelings. Now he’s not talking to me even though I need him to be there for me right now. I guess I screwed up . . . again but it’s like my feelings don’t matter. I don’t know what to do!

 

[martininthefiel]

Fertility is a complicated subject. Has you husband been tested? Sperm counts and motility have been declining amongst males in recent years.

My ex and I adopted a beautiful Chinese daughter through Catholic Charities of Maryland and Holt International several years ago. She is the joy of my life.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit leads us in directions we never thought of traveling. Listen to your heart and do not despair. There are millions of children in the world who need loving families. Maybe that is God’s Will for you. If not give thanks to God for the child you do have.

 

[triumphguy]

My wife and I went 4 years trying to get pregnant.

Finally we had an appointment with social services to foster at need kids and that same day my wife had morning sickness, and tested positive.

God had a curve ball waiting for us though - our child has down syndrome - but he soon became the apple of our eyes.

We went on to have 2 more lovely children.

There are no answers.

 

[bmullins]

It was 10 years before my first daughter. The 10 year wait was an answer to my prayers. God can always see things that we ourselves do not perceive.

 

[vsedriver]

I don’t know what to do anymore. My husband and I have one son (5 years old) and have been trying for two and a half years to add to our family. We have been unable to. I can’t express the heartbreak I feel because I feel I get brushed off and get accused of overreacting.

this is a tough position to be in. I don’t mean to insensitive but, have you tried, not trying? Perhaps God is waiting for you to let him control the situation. Stop talking about it with your husband. He’s burnt out. Start enjoying the child you have. You need to let go of this desire as it is holding you hostage. You are holding so tightly to what you don’t have that you are going to lose what you do have, a happy family.

I do know how you feel. I lost my first and then couldn’t get pregnant. I was miserable and I made everyone around me miserable. Couldn’t stand to see anyone pregnant or holding a baby. Then one day I let go. I just decided to live my life as it was and accept what came along. Within a week I was pregnant.

Let go, and trust God and stop worrying. Live your life as if you are done having children. That’s when things will change for you and if not you will be happier with the life you have.

 

[1inICXC]

this is a tough position to be in. I don’t mean to insensitive but, have you tried, not trying? Perhaps God is waiting for you to let him control the situation. Stop talking about it with your husband. He’s burnt out. Start enjoying the child you have. You need to let go of this desire as it is holding you hostage. You are holding so tightly to what you don’t have that you are going to lose what you do have, a happy family.

I do know how you feel. I lost my first and then couldn’t get pregnant. I was miserable and I made everyone around me miserable. Couldn’t stand to see anyone pregnant or holding a baby. Then one day I let go. I just decided to live my life as it was and accept what came along. Within a week I was pregnant.

Let go, and trust God and stop worrying. Live your life as if you are done having children. That’s when things will change for you and if not you will be happier with the life you have.

Heard this story too many times to think it’s coincidence. “not trying” did the trick for many couples!