Online dating experience

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New? After 2900 posts? I am a :confused: bit dubious.
Perhaps he/she is new to the Family Life section of the forum. I know if I popped over into another section of the CAF, I’d introduce myself as “new” even though I’ve been moderately active in the Family Life area. 🙂
 
Perhaps he/she is new to the Family Life section of the forum. I know if I popped over into another section of the CAF, I’d introduce myself as “new” even though I’ve been moderately active in the Family Life area. 🙂
Thank you. that is exactly what i meant.
 
to the OP, sorry my story of online dating is very different but I will share it!

Really I only ever talked to a small handful of guys online, I only ever ended up meeting one in person. The one I ended up meeting was the one I married and have been so blessed to have found him!!!

We started by emails at first, and yes, a lot of times talking online will give different impressions of a person. We moved on to talking on the phone, like 4-5 hour conversations. After we did this for a while, he came down to see me. I have to say the first date was all nerves for us both! We were a sight to see! When I’m nervous, I talk non-stop! When DH is nervous, he says nothing at all. So you can just imagine how this whole first meeting went! 😛 I rambled the whole time, we went out and had dinner, I showed him around where I live and went to the park. It was a little awkward to meet a person in real life that you’ve only have known online or over the phone for so long, but very quickly we started to connect in person just like we did over the phone once the nervousness went away.

Honestly, it wasn’t until our 3rd or 4th meeting that the awkwardness went away completely because my impression of what I’ve know of him over the phone and internet was finally replaced by what I knew IRL.

Sorry you had a disappointing meeting, but that will happen.

1ke, your stories are hilarious! Glad you finally found “the one” after all those disappointments!!!
 
Hi. i am new here.

i never dated online but i would like to try. does anyone have any suggestion what are the best sites for dating?

thanks, everyone
I’m seeing you in a whole new light! 😃 I’m used to seeing you on the Apologetics threads!

Good luck, I’ve seen some positive results here.👍
 
I highly recommend CatholicMatch.com . I met my fiance on there…my sister met her husband on there. Two friends I know met their husbands on there…and several people I know met there husbands/fiances on there. I am constantly meeting couple who met on there and are married or getting married.

My fiance and I met on CatholicMatch. He was one of many guys I emailed with but the only one I actually met. We did not email a whole lot though. We connected quickly because we had had some similiar experiences and knew a few of the same people. We talked on the phone for 4 months before we met! I admit though, I knew from the moment I saw his profile we were going to have a special relationship. So a year and half later we are preparing for marriage! Its been wonderful! I used to think it was sort of…degrading to use a dating sight but I am constantly seeing how God is really using it to bring couples together ! So keep trying and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit!!!
I’m glad to hear of your positive experience with CatholicMatch. I’ve been on there for four years with no results. I have several friends, all with a variety of personalities and appearances, and no luck for them either. I have one friend who did meet her husband on there.

I’ve written back and forth to many gentlemen on there. After a while, they just stop writing. I’ve never met any one of them face to face. In a couple of cases I was glad they stopped writing- they both indicated that they disagreed with the Church on premarital sex and contraception. As for the others whose beliefs matched mine, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Not to blow my own horn, but I think I’m reasonably pretty, intelligent, kind, and caring. I’ve been told I write well, so I don’t think it’s a problem with expressing myself on paper. I don’t know what these men are looking for. The only theory I have is that I’m not exciting or thrilling enough for many of them. Living in California, some of the men expect you to be a high energy extrovert rather than someone like me who enjoys intelligent conversation and quiet activities (Not that I’m a wall-flower. I enjoy being outdoors and going to parties. I’m just a spontaneous, jump out of an airplane type.)

Having said this, the people in general on CatholicMatch have been very kind. They too have a prayer forum, and I have asked for and receive prayer support on many an occasion from the other members. I just don’t know what to say about the dating aspect. Any suggestions from CA members would be welcomed. 🙂
 
wow! thanks. i appreciate you answer. i am going to give a try but i confess this makes me very nervous.
I would suggest avemariasingles.com

Out of the dating sites that profess to be Catholic, this one seems to have the most marriage-minded Catholics who embrace all the teachings of the Church on moral issues.
 
I would suggest avemariasingles.com

Out of the dating sites that profess to be Catholic, this one seems to have the most marriage-minded Catholics who embrace all the teachings of the Church on moral issues.
I agree, this is the site I met my DH on as well. Good experience all around with this site. 👍
 
Not to blow my own horn, but I think I’m reasonably pretty, intelligent, kind, and caring. I’ve been told I write well, so I don’t think it’s a problem with expressing myself on paper. I don’t know what these men are looking for. The only theory I have is that I’m not exciting or thrilling enough for many of them. Living in California, some of the men expect you to be a high energy extrovert rather than someone like me who enjoys intelligent conversation and quiet activities (Not that I’m a wall-flower. I enjoy being outdoors and going to parties. I’m just a spontaneous, jump out of an airplane type.)
My theory is that your theory is right, but that only proves those guys don’t know what they’re missing. That description sounds like my so called type (probably partly because it’s not far from how I’d like to be seen by others), while the problem is similar to what I typically have. Heh. Certain types of personalities have problems with this kind of relatioships. I could go on for a couple of paragraphs, but it could potentially be boring, so… 😛

On second though, you were asking for suggestions, weren’t you. Well, chances are you’re somewhat analytical and like to solve problems calmly and logically, while at the same time being a normal person with feelings and emotions, which complicates things because people expect us to be either (e.g. one shouldn’t be spontaneous if one’s intellectual; one shouldn’t be “nerdy” if one’s spontaneous etc. etc.). For me, some knowledge of psychology and how minds work or how communication works, tends to be helpful in understanding this kind of thing. All in all, it does really come down to finding someone compatible with you. Can’t really tell you much more, actually, as I don’t have it all figured out. 😉 Sometimes there’s a rather flashy beginning, then a couple of messages back and forth and suddenly a total stop. Obviously must be something I said which showed a personality trait that made the other person make a quick decision that compatibility wasn’t so great.
 
to the OP, sorry my story of online dating is very different but I will share it!

Really I only ever talked to a small handful of guys online, I only ever ended up meeting one in person. The one I ended up meeting was the one I married and have been so blessed to have found him!!!

We started by emails at first, and yes, a lot of times talking online will give different impressions of a person. We moved on to talking on the phone, like 4-5 hour conversations. After we did this for a while, he came down to see me. I have to say the first date was all nerves for us both! We were a sight to see! When I’m nervous, I talk non-stop! When DH is nervous, he says nothing at all. So you can just imagine how this whole first meeting went! 😛 I rambled the whole time, we went out and had dinner, I showed him around where I live and went to the park. It was a little awkward to meet a person in real life that you’ve only have known online or over the phone for so long, but very quickly we started to connect in person just like we did over the phone once the nervousness went away.

Honestly, it wasn’t until our 3rd or 4th meeting that the awkwardness went away completely because my impression of what I’ve know of him over the phone and internet was finally replaced by what I knew IRL.

Sorry you had a disappointing meeting, but that will happen.

1ke, your stories are hilarious! Glad you finally found “the one” after all those disappointments!!!
Lol. Gam3rchic, now it is my turn to say OMG!!! Your story is the same as mine!! 😉 My fiance and I had those long conversation too! And I rambled on the first date! He loves to tease me and tell people the story…lol…

To OP:

It is a little nerve racking, however, I found that I really really liked the fact that you talk to the person online and on the phone first. It really gives you the chance to really get to know who a person is inside without the barriers that occur when you are in person. Later when you meet in person it is awkward, but at least for us, there came a moment when suddenly we realized…hey, this is the same person I have been talking to forever, and it gets alot easier. I learned so much about my fiance that I know I never would have know had we met in person first. I mean, when all you have is words cause you are not in person…you end up doing alot of talking and sharing!!
 
I am pleased to say that I met my husband of 8 years on the internet. Not on a dating site however. We liked to be on msn chat rooms, those for 60+ and we started chatting and he was a widow like me and lived 2 hours away. We met, married a year later and are extremly happy. Thanks be to God.👍
 
I agree, this is the site I met my DH on as well. Good experience all around with this site. 👍
I like Ave Maria Singles too. It requires money to join and search profiles, but I think this helps to weed out those people who aren’t serious about a relationship. They also have some rather pointed questions in the profile that ask your opinions on church teachings and morals. Of course, I’m sure that doesn’t stop some from lying on the questions to attract more people. With AMS, you should be willing to travel to meet someone. AMS membership is not as expansive as other websites due to the one-time fee Ave Maria charges to join. That means there are likely to be fewer locals people listed then other sites have.

As for my own experience, I joined in my senior year of college to take advantage of a student discount but did not contact anyone while I focused on my studies. A couple years later, I started writing to women but didn’t seem to click with anyone. I finally met my current GF via writing, and after a month of phone calls I flew to Boston. We met in a local church and said a prayer at the start of our date in a side chapel for a fun and adventurous time and asked God to lead us where he willed. After that, we walked around the Boston commons, checked out a local festival, and went up to the Prudential skyscraper to check out the view (I was new to the area). We also went to the local library on her suggestion and had a picture taken with Curious George in a kids event. It was a blast and really helped break the ice. I had arranged for dinner at a nice restaurant near the Commons and afterwards, we took the train to see a show of Cirque du Soleil.

We had a grand time, and I returned to my hotel near the airport while she went home for the night. The next day we met for morning mass and I suggested we meet again and keep in touch. I left for the airport, and I knew I had struck gold on the first try.

Three years later we are courting and planning for marriage. Previously, I had always thought dating websites were kind of creepy and reeked of desperation. Now, I am a believer. Yet, those websites are only a medium for connecting like minded people. You still need to commend yourself to prayer, plan out your dates, and put in the time, energy, and enthusiasm that is necessary in traditional dating. Especially for the guys, its necessary to take the lead and have a plan. My GF told me that she met many guys on Ave Maria, and a lot of them would fly into the area and would then say to her “so what do you want to do?” I didn’t impress her, and I’m glad it didn’t. 😃

One difficult thing about online dating is that if the relationship works out, you either need to be comfortable with an LDR (which neither I or my GF was comfortable with) or one of you needs to move near the other. In the end, after both of us searching for jobs near each other, she found a job near me and moved.
 
Previously, I had always thought dating websites were kind of creepy and reeked of desperation. Now, I am a believer. Yet, those websites are only a medium for connecting like minded people. You still need to commend yourself to prayer, plan out your dates, and put in the time, energy, and enthusiasm that is necessary in traditional dating. Especially for the guys, its necessary to take the lead and have a plan. My GF told me that she met many guys on Ave Maria, and a lot of them would fly into the area and would then say to her “so what do you want to do?” I didn’t impress her, and I’m glad it didn’t. 😃
To be honest, I still have a problem with that. I’m a veteran. A large share of my romantic failures have not even spoken my native language (no, not English). Regardless, I just believe in more naturally developing relationships. That is, for whomever match-making works, good for him. It’s just I’m not there. I kinda prefer to collect my trophies in direction action rather than getting them on an Internet action, if you know what I mean. 😃 Not like I allow technicalities to get in the way of my efficiency, but anyway. Darn. Just why don’t I have good vision and better health, so I could be having a good time up in the air like Harmon Rabb? Oh, waitasec, he did return to the JAG. Darn.
One difficult thing about online dating is that if the relationship works out, you either need to be comfortable with an LDR (which neither I or my GF was comfortable with) or one of you needs to move near the other. In the end, after both of us searching for jobs near each other, she found a job near me and moved.
That’s the easiest part to forget whe one’s embarking on a long-distance relationship. You Americans have an advantage there because you move about twice in a lifetime per average, even changing states, so you’re used to it. And no matter what you say, it’s still English what you’re getting from Vermont to Bahia.
 
Thanks for the additional replies! It’s nice to hear of the success stories. 🙂
 
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