Online Dating: Is it worth it?

[jaimeleglise]

I met my wonderful husband through Catholic Match. It’s a great way to meet devout Catholics.
Meeting people through a parish for me was impossible. Few people there under the age of eighty.

 

[chero23]

I met my wonderful husband through Catholic Match. It’s a great way to meet devout Catholics.
Meeting people through a parish for me was impossible. Few people there under the age of eighty.

If you don’t mind me asking, how old were both of you guys when ya met?

 

[Kelfa28]

Hubby and I met on Match.com.

We were together for four years and have been married for 3. We have three children.

I think a big issue I see with online dating is that people develop these relationships with others that exist entirely on the computer.

I’ve seen stories here about couples meeting online and “dating” (through chat, SMS, boards, Skype) for months.

That isn’t dating. That isn’t courting and you can’t discern marriage through an exclusively online relationship. At least I don’t think you can.
Hubby and I basically exchanged three or four emails and decided to meet in person after about a week of these emails.
We both looked for Matches in our own area and we’re able to go on a blind date and it happened to work out.

I had no intention of using Match.com for online relationships.
I just wanted to expand my dating pool and meet men that weren’t buddies of my BIL or buddies of guys I knew at work.

Online dating can be worth it and work exceptionally well if you take it seriously and treat it as another outlet to meet dating prospects.
So it’s just another family friend, Church group or parishioner, friend of a friend…whatever.
If you do it that way…you might have better luck.

 

[Xantippe]

Hubby and I met on Match.com.

We were together for four years and have been married for 3. We have three children.

I think a big issue I see with online dating is that people develop these relationships with others that exist entirely on the computer.

I’ve seen stories here about couples meeting online and “dating” (through chat, SMS, boards, Skype) for months.

That isn’t dating. That isn’t courting and you can’t discern marriage through an exclusively online relationship. At least I don’t think you can.
Hubby and I basically exchanged three or four emails and decided to meet in person after about a week of these emails.
We both looked for Matches in our own area and we’re able to go on a blind date and it happened to work out.

I had no intention of using Match.com for online relationships.
I just wanted to expand my dating pool and meet men that weren’t buddies of my BIL or buddies of guys I knew at work.

Right. A lot of times, you hear from people (especially young people) that they’ve been dating somebody for half a year or a year or even two years entirely electronically.

I always tell those people on CAF that the clock hasn’t started on them actually having a relationship until the day they meet in person.

 

[pianistclare]

I met my wonderful husband through Catholic Match. It’s a great way to meet devout Catholics.
Meeting people through a parish for me was impossible. Few people there under the age of eighty.

Indeed. Our parish has an “Over 50” supper club. The pastor likes to tell folks who inquire that to qualify for membership you have to have a CHILD under the age of 50.

 

[E_7]

I have no personal experience with online dating, but my sister has told me that the most undesirable aspect of it is that once she signs on, her inbox is immediately flooded with messages and it’s overwhelming to sort through them all. There may be five great guys e-mailing her, but if there are 100 messages from random, crazy people in the inbox it can be hard to find the good ones.

Although I have never used an online dating service, I recommend those who do to pay for premium membership. People who are serious would pay.

 

[E_7]

I believe that putting a profile photo is not fair, you could miss someone that looks bad in a pic but in real life is different. It happens with non-photogenic people.

I met my husband right here in CAF not intending to court nor date anyone here. I had no pic of him, zero. After exchanging a lot of PMs, we took it to Gmail chat. The rest is history. My point is that if I would have seen his pic without knowing him first, I would have probably moved on. He is non-photogenic. In person, he just needed a haircut for me to literally think “whoa I so want kiss this guy.” I’m 24, he is 30, by the way.

 

[E_7]

Right. My husband and I met online, actually, though not through a dating site - it was at a site for people with a mutual interest we had, and then we found out we attended the same school.

Awww!

 

[E_7]

Hubby and I met on Match.com.

We were together for four years and have been married for 3. We have three children.

I think a big issue I see with online dating is that people develop these relationships with others that exist entirely on the computer.

I’ve seen stories here about couples meeting online and “dating” (through chat, SMS, boards, Skype) for months.

That isn’t dating. That isn’t courting and you can’t discern marriage through an exclusively online relationship. At least I don’t think you can.
Hubby and I basically exchanged three or four emails and decided to meet in person after about a week of these emails.
We both looked for Matches in our own area and we’re able to go on a blind date and it happened to work out.

I had no intention of using Match.com for online relationships.
I just wanted to expand my dating pool and meet men that weren’t buddies of my BIL or buddies of guys I knew at work.

Online dating can be worth it and work exceptionally well if you take it seriously and treat it as another outlet to meet dating prospects.
So it’s just another family friend, Church group or parishioner, friend of a friend…whatever.
If you do it that way…you might have better luck.

I agree 100%.

It took us 6 months to meet in person, I had no money because I was just a student. He paid my trip and I stayed at my cousin’s house who happened to live where his sister lived. He gave me a promise ring the next day we met in person. We did not date, we courted each other.

 

[jaimeleglise]

If you don’t mind me asking, how old were both of you guys when ya met?

Don’t mind a bit. I was almost 46 and he was 35. I was very relaxed when I first met him
because I misread his profile and thought he was only looking for Catholic friends to hang out with. I never thought someone eleven years younger than I could be romantically interested in me. Plus the first date was a healing service. I didn’t know it was a date because of the
nature of the event, our age difference and the fact I misread his profile. Therefore, I was
not nervous at all.

There are many great things about Catholic Match. They ask you seven basic questions about your Catholic beliefs so you can find someone who believes as strongly as you;
practicing, devout, etc. Also, you can email each other before meeting to see how compatible you are. There are also forums so you can read what others have to say and
acquaint yourself that way. Finally, it is not expensive. Many couples have met that way.

 

[D3USVult]

I believe that putting a profile photo is not fair, you could miss someone that looks bad in a pic but in real life is different. It happens with non-photogenic people.

Point taken, however I managed to upload a decent profile picture on all of the dating profiles that I ever made and I’m not what I would call photogenic. While I’m okay with my reflection I look at myself in photos and cringe more often than not. My point is - if I can take the time to take a decent picture of myself, so can she.

I met my husband right here in CAF not intending to court nor date anyone here. I had no pic of him, zero. After exchanging a lot of PMs, we took it to Gmail chat. The rest is history. My point is that if I would have seen his pic without knowing him first, I would have probably moved on. He is non-photogenic. In person, he just needed a haircut for me to literally think “whoa I so want kiss this guy.” I’m 24, he is 30, by the way.

Congratulations. I hope that you and your husband enjoy a long and loving marriage. Please bear in mind that men are generally much more visual than women. What can I say? We’re wired differently.

For the single ladies that might be reading this thread, you can do what you want about your profile pictures. I’m just advising you to put your best foot, or in this case face, forward.

 

[jaimeleglise]

After three dates, he said he knew I was “the one”. We married a year later and are now
married almost eight years. We have never had an argument, praise God!!!

(Continued from above)

 

[pianistclare]

I met Joe on Catholic Singles. He’s 11 years younger than me.
He had, no kidding, the worst profile picture ever.
And he was in Ireland.
I remember I guy I talked with all the time in their chat room telling him that no sane woman would ever marry a guy from Ireland. Joe replied that he would be happy just to have a nice lady to chat with.
We did.
For 2 years. 2 years of nightly phone calls. (yeah, the phone bill was horrible).
We met in person.
Not at all like his picture.
Day 3, he proposed. Been married 4 years.
Todo bien.

 

[E_7]

I met Joe on Catholic Singles. He’s 11 years younger than me.
He had, no kidding, the worst profile picture ever.
And he was in Ireland.
I remember I guy I talked with all the time in their chat room telling him that no sane woman would ever marry a guy from Ireland. Joe replied that he would be happy just to have a nice lady to chat with.
We did.
For 2 years. 2 years of nightly phone calls. (yeah, the phone bill was horrible).
We met in person.
Not at all like his picture.
Day 3, he proposed. Been married 4 years.
Todo bien.

Awwww sounds so romantic! Reminds me of those time I spent on the phone with hubby who had to move and live in Singapore. One time we talked for 8 hours non stop!

 

[adamhovey1988]

I’ve done some lurking on the forums over the last several months, and I noticed several threads that ask questions about online dating. Is online dating worth it? After reading some of the posts I decided to elaborate on my experiences with online dating, give my opinion, and offer some advice for anyone who wants to try it. Although I encourage feedback and sharing from other members, this is not a question and is mainly for the benefit of any members who are considering online dating.

My online dating life (such as it is) began about three years ago. Since then I have tried out a number of different dating sites including ones that were geared towards Catholics and ones that were not. Speaking as a twenty-something man, my experience with online dating has not been very positive overall. Like anything else, online dating is a business and as such they will paint a rosy picture in order to entice you to buy. Many young men like myself see the ads and subconsciously believe that the internet is flooded with an abundance of available women with movie-star good looks. The reality is a little different.

How well online dating works is a debatable subject and results really do vary. The best experience I had with dating websites was a long-distance “relationship” on Catholic Match that seemed to go pretty well for about five or six weeks, reached its peak with a very pleasant conversation on Skype, and ended when she inexplicably stopped responding to my texts/emails. On the other end of my personal dating spectrum I have been stood up outright. By far the most common experience that I’ve had online is to send a girl a message only to have her completely dismiss it, often without even reading it.

In relating these experiences I am not looking for any sympathy. It is what it is. I simply want to provide some background that will help explain my take on dating websites which is this: Whether you’re a guy or a girl your time and money can be better spent. I’m not saying that I believe online dating can’t work. I personally know a couple that met online and got married earlier this year. However, as a user of online dating resources I believe the system has some problems traditional dating and courtship didn’t have. Moreover I believe that these problems are systemic in nature and cannot be fixed. However, if you are set on giving dating websites a try or have already subscribed and don’t want to just give up here’s the best advice I can give.

For the girls: Presentation is key! Like it or not, men are very visual creatures. Obviously you don’t want a man who only cares about the physical, but it is a proven fact that physically beautiful women will have a much easier time attracting a mate. Now if you don’t look like Jennifer Lawrence it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to die an old maid. Like I said, presentation is key. When you set up your profile make sure that there are at least a few flattering pictures. Make sure that your primary profile picture is good. If you have any professional photos those are the best. *Avoid selfies like the plague!!! * When it comes to telling him about yourself, don’t waste his time telling him about how your faith is the most important thing in your life and how you go to mass every day. If you’re on a Catholic website then it’s a safe bet that you’re religious. Instead tell him about your hobbies, your family, your goals, and the simple little things that really make you tick. What are you passionate about? If you put together a decent profile you should not have a problem getting the attention of the male members. The hard part will be sorting out the good ones.

For the guys: Unfortunately I don’t have much. One of the systemic problems with online dating that I mentioned above is that it tends to foster a shopper’s mentality among the people who use it, especially among the women. What makes it even more difficult for the guys is that most women under the age of thirty don’t really know what they want. So if you’re wondering why you haven’t had much success in the past, it might not be you. The best advice I can give to the other young men out there is to put together the best profile they can and then keep plugging away. Oh, and a little prayer doesn’t hurt. Don’t compromise, don’t settle, and don’t grade on the curve. The dating game is an uphill battle for men, especially if you’re a man who is trying to remain chaste. You can’t change it and neither can I. As my old MMA trainer says, “Forge on.”

Pax vobiscum.

Oh I’m with you I go to university but most of the women are younger than me and I’ve not taking interest in them. I don’t want to sound like I’m being cruel to anyone but the way they dress is just awful with a few exceptions dresses have become a lot more common than when I was a little bit younger. I would prefer a Catholic woman but there aren’t a whole lot of those where I live. And most of the Catholic women I know are married. Or much older than I am. That being said I’m not in a rush I would like to get married and have kids one day but I’m 27 years old and well that’s not exactly old there are many people a few years younger than I am that have several children it’ll happen when it happens I’m not going to push it I wouldn’t mind finding a woman though

 

[hesso12]

Oh I’m with you I go to university but most of the women are younger than me and I’ve not taking interest in them. I don’t want to sound like I’m being cruel to anyone but the way they dress is just awful with a few exceptions dresses have become a lot more common than when I was a little bit younger. I would prefer a Catholic woman but there aren’t a whole lot of those where I live. And most of the Catholic women I know are married. Or much older than I am. That being said I’m not in a rush I would like to get married and have kids one day but I’m 27 years old and well that’s not exactly old there are many people a few years younger than I am that have several children it’ll happen when it happens I’m not going to push it I wouldn’t mind finding a woman though

Yes.I see what your talking.It is much harder to a find a modest wife these days.But this was already warned in the apparition of Fatima.

"Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.(By our Lady)

As we know the end of times and the,second coming of Jesus is taking place.And issues like these will increase’s until the world is unrecognisable, Mankind would suffer from famine, pestilence and natural disasters. False prophets who claim to be the Messiah will deceive and mislead people. Nations will wage war against each other. The Church will endure persecution. Worse yet, the faith of many will grow cold and they will abandon the faith, even betraying and hating one another. (Confer Mt. 24:4-14; Lk 17:22-37) St. Paul describes a “mass apostasy” before the Second Coming, which will be led by the “son of perdition,” the “Man of Lawlessness,” the “adversary who exalts himself above every so-called god proposed for worship.” This “lawless one” is part of the work of Satan, and with power, signs, wonders and seductions will bring to ruin those who have turned from the truth. However, “the Lord Jesus will destroy him with the breath of His mouth and annihilate him by manifesting His own presence.” (Cf. 2 Thes 2:3-12) The Catechism affirms, “God’s triumph over the revolt of evil will take the form of the last judgment after the final cosmic upheaval of this passing world” (No. 667). Our Lord will come suddenly. “The Son of Man in His day will be like the lightening that flashes from one end of the sky to the other” (Lk 17:24). St. Peter predicts, “The day of the Lord will come like a thief and on that day the heavens will vanish with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire and the earth and all its deeds will be made manifest” (2 Pt 3:10).

 

[D3USVult]

Yes.I see what your talking.It is much harder to a find a modest wife these days.But this was already warned in the apparition of Fatima.

"Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.(By our Lady)

As we know the end of times and the,second coming of Jesus is taking place.And issues like these will increase’s until the world is unrecognisable, Mankind would suffer from famine, pestilence and natural disasters. False prophets who claim to be the Messiah will deceive and mislead people. Nations will wage war against each other. The Church will endure persecution. Worse yet, the faith of many will grow cold and they will abandon the faith, even betraying and hating one another. (Confer Mt. 24:4-14; Lk 17:22-37) St. Paul describes a “mass apostasy” before the Second Coming, which will be led by the “son of perdition,” the “Man of Lawlessness,” the “adversary who exalts himself above every so-called god proposed for worship.” This “lawless one” is part of the work of Satan, and with power, signs, wonders and seductions will bring to ruin those who have turned from the truth. However, “the Lord Jesus will destroy him with the breath of His mouth and annihilate him by manifesting His own presence.” (Cf. 2 Thes 2:3-12) The Catechism affirms, “God’s triumph over the revolt of evil will take the form of the last judgment after the final cosmic upheaval of this passing world” (No. 667). Our Lord will come suddenly. “The Son of Man in His day will be like the lightening that flashes from one end of the sky to the other” (Lk 17:24). St. Peter predicts, “The day of the Lord will come like a thief and on that day the heavens will vanish with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire and the earth and all its deeds will be made manifest” (2 Pt 3:10).

Whoa! Easy on the Doom & Despair, man! If we really are in the end times then I’ve got no business getting married and having kids.

 

[GreyWings]

Wow. What a ringing endorsement.

Rotfl

I met my wonderful husband through Catholic Match. It’s a great way to meet devout Catholics.
Meeting people through a parish for me was impossible. Few people there under the age of eighty.

Riiiiiight!?

In my area, at mass, there’s a lot of elderly people who are way too old for me and the younger guys are married or I’m not attracted to them. I dated one guy from my childhood parish long ago and he turned out to be NOT Catholic and didn’t practice and lied about everything. He eventually ran off to some other state.

Anyway. I think sites like Catholic Match are great. I met my fiance on there! Sure, there were creepers, and I have some great stories but I wasn’t on there for long. But I met a devout one and he’s lovely. Oh and I used selfies. Selfies can be great if you work it! (No duck lips)

 

[E_7]

Yes.I see what your talking.It is much harder to a find a modest wife these days.But this was already warned in the apparition of Fatima.

"Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.(By our Lady)

As we know the end of times and the,second coming of Jesus is taking place.And issues like these will increase’s until the world is unrecognisable, Mankind would suffer from famine, pestilence and natural disasters. False prophets who claim to be the Messiah will deceive and mislead people. Nations will wage war against each other. The Church will endure persecution. Worse yet, the faith of many will grow cold and they will abandon the faith, even betraying and hating one another. (Confer Mt. 24:4-14; Lk 17:22-37) St. Paul describes a “mass apostasy” before the Second Coming, which will be led by the “son of perdition,” the “Man of Lawlessness,” the “adversary who exalts himself above every so-called god proposed for worship.” This “lawless one” is part of the work of Satan, and with power, signs, wonders and seductions will bring to ruin those who have turned from the truth. However, “the Lord Jesus will destroy him with the breath of His mouth and annihilate him by manifesting His own presence.” (Cf. 2 Thes 2:3-12) The Catechism affirms, “God’s triumph over the revolt of evil will take the form of the last judgment after the final cosmic upheaval of this passing world” (No. 667). Our Lord will come suddenly. “The Son of Man in His day will be like the lightening that flashes from one end of the sky to the other” (Lk 17:24). St. Peter predicts, “The day of the Lord will come like a thief and on that day the heavens will vanish with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire and the earth and all its deeds will be made manifest” (2 Pt 3:10).

 

[adamhovey1988]

Whoa! Easy on the Doom & Despair, man! If we really are in the end times then I’ve got no business getting married and having kids.

I don’t know man, ultimately the Book of Revelation is a book of hope. THAT said, we have been in the end times for the last 2,000 years. If I could find a Catholic women in South Carolina, that supported ALL the church’s teachings, and lived in the Augusta Metro (which is where I live) or the Columbia metro (Lexington County is not far away from my house) or the upstate (I live near Greenwood, but simultaneously live in the CSRA, centrally located in Western Carolina). I would marry her. Of course, I wouldn’t even date someone that I haven’t known for a few years, so it may take a while.