Online Dating: Is it worth it?

[Xantippe]

I don’t know man, ultimately the Book of Revelation is a book of hope. THAT said, we have been in the end times for the last 2,000 years. If I could find a Catholic women in South Carolina, that supported ALL the church’s teachings, and lived in the Augusta Metro (which is where I live) or the Columbia metro (Lexington County is not far away from my house) or the upstate (I live near Greenwood, but simultaneously live in the CSRA, centrally located in Western Carolina). I would marry her. Of course, I wouldn’t even date someone that I haven’t known for a few years, so it may take a while.

What if she’s a respectably widowed 60-year-old?

I think you actually have a lot more items on your check list than you think you do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (and I think the check list ought to be longer than “non-comatose orthodox Catholic woman within 3 hours drive”), but be honest with yourself.

 

[adamhovey1988]

What if she’s a respectably widowed 60-year-old?

I think you actually have a lot more items on your check list than you think you do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (and I think the check list ought to be longer than “non-comatose orthodox Catholic woman within 3 hours drive”), but be honest with yourself.

Hmm, try to be a little more condescending. If you want to say somethings wrong with what I say, say it, but do NOT talk down to me.

 

[Xantippe]

Hmm, try to be a little more condescending. If you want to say somethings wrong with what I say, say it, but do NOT talk down to me.

I said pretty much what I meant. You say that you would marry any orthodox Catholic woman within a reasonable geographic area, but do you really mean that? In your area, I bet there are 80-year-old orthodox ladies, orthodox widows with six kids, orthodox ladies in jail, orthodox ladies that don’t speak any language you do, etc., etc.

 

[adamhovey1988]

I said pretty much what I meant. You say that you would marry any orthodox Catholic woman within a reasonable geographic area, but do you really mean that? In your area, I bet there are 80-year-old orthodox ladies, orthodox widows with six kids, orthodox ladies in jail, orthodox ladies that don’t speak any language you do, etc., etc.

I speak several languages, one.
Two I know quite a few woman like that.
Three why are you being such a jerk about this?
I’m serious. You’re starting a fight because I made the point (and I have already said my age, in case you weren’t paying attention) that there aren’t a whole lot of Catholic women around her, so it’s kind of a limited area. Maybe if you’d have paid attention, you’d know what I was referring to. My no, everything is right when it comes from Xantipope.

 

[hesso12]

Whoa! Easy on the Doom & Despair, man! If we really are in the end times then I’ve got no business getting married and having kids.

"But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.Matthew 24:36

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

If you don’t mind me asking, how old were both of you guys when ya met?

My wife and I were 30/28 when we met on CM (not that you asked me, but figured it was relevant).

Online dating was simply another option, and we talked on email and phone for 2.5 months before we were able to meet. We had a good feel for one another’s faith before we ever went on a date. We also loved an hour apart, so not running out on a date right away was feasible.

Most Catholic matchmaking websites do ask you where you stand on many different issues of great import to the Church - contraception, abortion, all male Priesthood, -]whether you like watching 24/-] (sorry, that was mine, not the Church’s) - and assuming honesty, you knew before you even approached someone where they stood.

 

[pianistclare]

I speak several languages, one.
Two I know quite a few woman like that.
Three why are you being such a jerk about this?
I’m serious. You’re starting a fight because I made the point (and I have already said my age, in case you weren’t paying attention) that there aren’t a whole lot of Catholic women around her, so it’s kind of a limited area. Maybe if you’d have paid attention, you’d know what I was referring to. My no, everything is right when it comes from Xantipope.

Take it easy.
Just because someone offers a different point of view, it doesn’t mean they are a “jerk”.
Name-calling doesn’t make your point.
There’s no “fight” unless you make it one.
And knowing Xantippe very well, there’s never, ever any fighting.

 

[UbiCaritas]

Yes.I see what your talking.It is much harder to a find a modest wife these days.But this was already warned in the apparition of Fatima.

"Certain fashions will be introduced that will offend Our Lord very much.(By our Lady)

As we know the end of times and the,second coming of Jesus is taking place.And issues like these will increase’s until the world is unrecognisable, Mankind would suffer from famine, pestilence and natural disasters. False prophets who claim to be the Messiah will deceive and mislead people. Nations will wage war against each other. The Church will endure persecution. Worse yet, the faith of many will grow cold and they will abandon the faith, even betraying and hating one another. (Confer Mt. 24:4-14; Lk 17:22-37) St. Paul describes a “mass apostasy” before the Second Coming, which will be led by the “son of perdition,” the “Man of Lawlessness,” the “adversary who exalts himself above every so-called god proposed for worship.” This “lawless one” is part of the work of Satan, and with power, signs, wonders and seductions will bring to ruin those who have turned from the truth. However, “the Lord Jesus will destroy him with the breath of His mouth and annihilate him by manifesting His own presence.” (Cf. 2 Thes 2:3-12) The Catechism affirms, “God’s triumph over the revolt of evil will take the form of the last judgment after the final cosmic upheaval of this passing world” (No. 667). Our Lord will come suddenly. “The Son of Man in His day will be like the lightening that flashes from one end of the sky to the other” (Lk 17:24). St. Peter predicts, “The day of the Lord will come like a thief and on that day the heavens will vanish with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire and the earth and all its deeds will be made manifest” (2 Pt 3:10).

You know, I once heard a charming story told by a priest in the course of his homily. (An FSSP–ie, traditional–priest no less, I might add.)

It was a story about a saint–which, I can’t remember, but maybe Don Bosco? In any case, when he was a seminarian, he was once asked by another seminarian during recreation hour what he would do if he knew that the world was going to end that night. For background, recreation hour in religious communities is a time when those not engaged in necessary work (making dinner, for example) get together to talk, relax, read, listen to music, go for walks, whatever helps that particular person relax as part of a community. In this case, the saint in question was playing a game of billiards (pool) with a couple of his friends.

When asked, one seminarian said he’d go to Confession immediately. Another said he’d get down on his knees to pray, and not get up until the last trump. Still another said that he’d go to Mass. Don Bosco, however, replied, “I’d continue shooting pool.”

Astonished silence, as you might imagine.

He continued, “That’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I’ve been to Mass, I’ve attended class, I’ve studied, I’ve eaten, I’ve completed my other duties for the day. Right now, my duty is to relax with my fellow seminarians, so that’s what I would do.”

In short, one can sit around worrying about the end times (which, as someone earlier astutely pointed out, have been going on for the last two thousand years), or one can get on with living one’s life the way one should. It’s like the parable of the three guys who were each handed a sum of money to care for. One hid it away so no one would find it, but didn’t do anything with it. The others invested it and got some small gains. The latter two were commended by their master for doing well with what they had, while the former had the money taken away from him because he simply sat on it in fear, rather than making the best investment he could with the information he had.

 

[E_7]

Hmm, try to be a little more condescending. If you want to say somethings wrong with what I say, say it, but do NOT talk down to me.

I speak several languages, one.
Two I know quite a few woman like that.
Three why are you being such a jerk about this?
I’m serious. You’re starting a fight because I made the point (and I have already said my age, in case you weren’t paying attention) that there aren’t a whole lot of Catholic women around her, so it’s kind of a limited area. Maybe if you’d have paid attention, you’d know what I was referring to. My no, everything is right when it comes from Xantipope.

Easy, fellow. Xantippe was not being disrespectful nor she sounded like it. You, on the other hand, snapped and were disrespectful. She was not starting a fight, don’t take it to heart.

 

[E_7]

Take it easy.
Just because someone offers a different point of view, it doesn’t mean they are a “jerk”.
Name-calling doesn’t make your point.
There’s no “fight” unless you make it one.
And knowing Xantippe very well, there’s never, ever any fighting.

Oh, you went ahead of me.

 

[Xantippe]

Thanks, guys!

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

Nothing wrong with online dating concept. But have to keep in mind that fair or not, photos and physical characteristics play an overwhelmingly influential part in the screening process. For instance, men over 6 feet in height tend to do a lot better than their counterparts under 5-10.

I’ve perused the Catholic dating sites in the past and can say if one isn’t in a major metropolitan area, the pickings can be fairly sparse, hence leading one to have to browse for matches who live more than a day’s drive away. A considerable investment in time and gas. I’ve done this in the past and I don’t feel inclined to go there again, but that is not to tell others to stay away. It can happen, it’s fun to read the Catholic Match articles about long distance love leading to marriage, but realistically, how often does that happen?

 

[pianistclare]

Nothing wrong with online dating concept. But have to keep in mind that fair or not, photos and physical characteristics play an overwhelmingly influential part in the screening process. For instance, men over 6 feet in height tend to do a lot better than their counterparts under 5-10.

I’ve perused the Catholic dating sites in the past and can say if one isn’t in a major metropolitan area, the pickings can be fairly sparse, hence leading one to have to browse for matches who live more than a day’s drive away. A considerable investment in time and gas. I’ve done this in the past and I don’t feel inclined to go there again, but that is not to tell others to stay away. It can happen, it’s fun to read the Catholic Match articles about long distance love leading to marriage, but realistically, how often does that happen?

Well, Joe was a mere 4000 miles away from me.

 

[D3USVult]

What if she’s a respectably widowed 60-year-old?

I think you actually have a lot more items on your check list than you think you do. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (and I think the check list ought to be longer than “non-comatose orthodox Catholic woman within 3 hours drive”), but be honest with yourself.

:thumbsup:

 

[D3USVult]

Well, Joe was a mere 4000 miles away from me.

I don’t think he’s saying that it can’t work, but realistically long-distance relationships present difficulties that you won’t have if you are within relatively easy driving distance. I tried a long distance relationship (as in several states away). I can wonder from now until hell freezes over about why it didn’t work, but the distance is high on my list of possible reasons why she suddenly lost interest. If it worked for you than great! But understand that it’s not what most people would classify as a worthwhile investment in time and effort.

 

[pianistclare]

I don’t think he’s saying that it can’t work, but realistically long-distance relationships present difficulties that you won’t have if you are within relatively easy driving distance. I tried a long distance relationship (as in several states away). I can wonder from now until hell freezes over about why it didn’t work, but the distance is high on my list of possible reasons why she suddenly lost interest. If it worked for you than great! But understand that it’s not what most people would classify as a worthwhile investment in time and effort.

I realize all that.
My point was, that if you meet someone online that you believe it’s worth it, distance won’t hinder your quest.

 

[E_7]

I realize all that.
My point was, that if you meet someone online that you believe it’s worth it, distance won’t hinder your quest.

Yes!

 

[D3USVult]

I realize all that.
My point was, that if you meet someone online that you believe it’s worth it, distance won’t hinder your quest.

No argument here .

 

[Eliza10]

I met Joe on Catholic Singles. He’s 11 years younger than me.
He had, no kidding, the worst profile picture ever.
And he was in Ireland.
I remember I guy I talked with all the time in their chat room telling him that no sane woman would ever marry a guy from Ireland. Joe replied that he would be happy just to have a nice lady to chat with.
We did.
For 2 years. 2 years of nightly phone calls. (yeah, the phone bill was horrible).
We met in person.
Not at all like his picture.
Day 3, he proposed. Been married 4 years.
Todo bien.

Aw. A success story! I love it!

 

[Eliza10]

You know, I once heard a charming story told by a priest in the course of his homily. (An FSSP–ie, traditional–priest no less, I might add.)

It was a story about a saint–which, I can’t remember, but maybe Don Bosco? In any case, when he was a seminarian, he was once asked by another seminarian during recreation hour what he would do if he knew that the world was going to end that night. For background, recreation hour in religious communities is a time when those not engaged in necessary work (making dinner, for example) get together to talk, relax, read, listen to music, go for walks, whatever helps that particular person relax as part of a community. In this case, the saint in question was playing a game of billiards (pool) with a couple of his friends.

When asked, one seminarian said he’d go to Confession immediately. Another said he’d get down on his knees to pray, and not get up until the last trump. Still another said that he’d go to Mass. Don Bosco, however, replied, “I’d continue shooting pool.”

Astonished silence, as you might imagine.

He continued, “That’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I’ve been to Mass, I’ve attended class, I’ve studied, I’ve eaten, I’ve completed my other duties for the day. Right now, my duty is to relax with my fellow seminarians, so that’s what I would do.”

In short, one can sit around worrying about the end times (which, as someone earlier astutely pointed out, have been going on for the last two thousand years), or one can get on with living one’s life the way one should. It’s like the parable of the three guys who were each handed a sum of money to care for. One hid it away so no one would find it, but didn’t do anything with it. The others invested it and got some small gains. The latter two were commended by their master for doing well with what they had, while the former had the money taken away from him because he simply sat on it in fear, rather than making the best investment he could with the information he had.

Great quote, and great answer to the side-topic. Thanks.