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Xantippe
Guest
Just out of curiosity, how did you figure out that the Nigerian scammers were Nigerian scammers?
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pianistclare
Guest
Phone calls.
They sounded distinctly Nigerian, and I could hear the background noise of other men talking with other women asking for $$$$
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Xantippe
Guest
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pianistclare
Guest
Well, desperate white American women who own their own homes are highly prized by scammers of all kinds.
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ShadowBoxer
Guest
Hi folks!
Late to the party, I know. After more than three years of trying, I’m giving up on online dating. While I know that it can work and has worked for some people, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Just my two cents.
Late to the party, I know. After more than three years of trying, I’m giving up on online dating. While I know that it can work and has worked for some people, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Just my two cents.
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SuperLuigi
Guest
That’s quite true, but I would say it’s more about being single, desperate older (especially if the woman is) and divorced with kids than about race.Well, desperate white American women who own their own homes are highly prized by scammers of all kinds.
Those are some big risk factors that everyone should consider.
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SuperLuigi
Guest
The 411 Nigerian scammers are easy to spot. I guess their approach is volume.
It’s the non-411 ones people generally have to worry about; they can be frighteningly savvy and REALLY work an unsuspecting person with sales tricks and/or mind games. They are also very patient and will work a person for months, even years.
Note: of course, the 411 folks would not be in business if they didn’t have victims…
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SuperLuigi
Guest
Not late at all.Hi folks!
Earlier in the thread I posted about 15 points about on-line dating. In general, it needs to be seen as a tool and not a magic wand. So if you meet someone who seems to be too good to be true and makes all of life’s problems vanish—better be careful until you get to know them better, and believe me, it won’t happen over skype, chat or the phone alone!
I would also say that on average there are more scammers, liars, cheats, con-artists, people with problems ect. on-line than folks who don’t fit squarely into any of those categories—or at the very least you’ll have to wade through them in order to find the right person.
It’s fair to say they are more pronounced on-line than in person because the internet allows one to conceal/falsify things easier, and actually would give someone with bad motives a potential advantage.
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Allegra
Guest
I met my husband on Catholicmatch.com. I loved the experience. I liked talking to different people in the forums and I actually learned a lot. There was also a local club of folks that got together to hang out. I went out with them a couple times and it was fun. In addition to finding true love, it’s a good way to make Catholic friends. I actually found CA after I got married and I wasn’t allowed on CM anymore.
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TeachCatechism
Guest
Everyone always says that Catholic dating sites are better. Well, the sad fact is they aren’t always. I was on Catholic Match for a year and used nice photos (no selfies). I looked nice and am pretty (model in my 20’s) and not overweight. I was so sure I’d find someone, especially since my first night there I had a lovely conversation with what appeared to be a great man who lived by me and was what I sought out. Unfortunately he disappeared. Yes I got a few messages, mostly from older men in their 60’s and 70’s (I’m 44). The single 40’s men were seeking women in their 20’s and complaining these women didn’t want them. Meanwhile in the women only section these women complained about these old men contacting them while the rest of us complained about not getting many if any appropriate men. Many of us complained because we would get contacted by divorced (not annulled)men who couldn’t marry in the church. I got one guy who was a wacko who emailed me some misogynist garbage saying men are in control and if he cheats or beats his wife it’s her fault. He then admitted he had a short marriage (annulled)because she left but then he admitted she left after he hit her. I’d contact men my age, my location and my status (never married, childless)and mostly got rejected. It made me so depressed. After my year was over I left. I met one guy but he lived too far to be anything but a friend plus he was 15 years younger. I chat with a few from there but that’s about it (and none are men, mostly women I chatted with having the same problem).
At least though most of the guys were decent. I also previously did Plenty of Fish, DateHookup, OkCupid and Match. Met a decent guy on POF but neither of us were crazy about the other. Same with Match. Mostly got weirdos. POF I had my first profile deleted because a few didn’t like that I was religious and somewhat conservative. Got a lot of perverts, married guys and baby daddies (men with kids by different women). I have a free profile on another Catholic site but all I found there were divorced dads. Never looked at that site further though.
My experiences stink and made me cry every night. I did online last time 2 1/2 years, met a few guys, met more liars, married guys etc and hundreds of abusive to sad email. Everything from being harassed for not dating them to sob stories.
At least though most of the guys were decent. I also previously did Plenty of Fish, DateHookup, OkCupid and Match. Met a decent guy on POF but neither of us were crazy about the other. Same with Match. Mostly got weirdos. POF I had my first profile deleted because a few didn’t like that I was religious and somewhat conservative. Got a lot of perverts, married guys and baby daddies (men with kids by different women). I have a free profile on another Catholic site but all I found there were divorced dads. Never looked at that site further though.
My experiences stink and made me cry every night. I did online last time 2 1/2 years, met a few guys, met more liars, married guys etc and hundreds of abusive to sad email. Everything from being harassed for not dating them to sob stories.
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E_7
Guest
TeachCatechism,
That is disturbing! Wow! Really? In a Catholic dating site? I am disappointed, surprised, and disgusted to hear that that’s what goes on .
I’m having thoughts on creating a new Catholic dating site that it really matches. Changing the algorithm , matching people within the same age and options . And make some sort of authentication or real verification of age and maybe go to the extent of running a background check . But it is just ideas, it is more complicated than that although there is a software to help out but I’m not sure if it gives the option to modify and add code.
That is disturbing! Wow! Really? In a Catholic dating site? I am disappointed, surprised, and disgusted to hear that that’s what goes on .
I’m having thoughts on creating a new Catholic dating site that it really matches. Changing the algorithm , matching people within the same age and options . And make some sort of authentication or real verification of age and maybe go to the extent of running a background check . But it is just ideas, it is more complicated than that although there is a software to help out but I’m not sure if it gives the option to modify and add code.
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TeachCatechism
Guest
Unfortunately it happened and I did think a Catholic site would be better. It was better because I didn’t many perverts on that site but way too many inappropriate men. The age one was really disturbing because these men would flat out say something like “I’m 55 why don’t women 18-25 like me” or “I like women young enough to be my daughter because they are active”. The ageism was horrible. Yet if you told them you wanted men your age they would be abusive. One of the male mods would actually agree with these guys. The female mod though was cool and say this was a problem.
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E_7
Guest
[in shock]
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TeachCatechism
Guest
It really turned me off online dating. I expect stupid garbage talk on secular sites but not religious.
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Sarcelle
Guest
I have a friend who had the same experience but with a Jewish dating site.
She really wanted to get married but gave up on Jewish men and ended up marring a Buddhist.
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TeachCatechism
Guest
I’m surprised Jewish men were like that but nothing surprises me.
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ThePCWife
Guest
Online dating is fine as one option, but not the only option. Shared interests are ok (including doctrinal strictness), a plan to take a long-distance situation to short-distance in under 12 months is ok, and suggestions from friends/relatives who know you well are ok. Online dating is like using nightclubs and bars to find a spouse. Many downsides, and those downsides need to be thoroughly dealt with before embarking, but it clearly works for a lot of people so it’s good to have the option.
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UbiCaritas
Guest
Faith-based dating sites in which a majority of the participants take their faith seriously, though, could be more accurately likened to a church singles’ group event than a nightclub/bar scene.
For background, I met my DH on a Catholic singles’ site. We’d each met a few people before, none of whom made it past the first date for various reasons. We both saw it similarly: it was another option. Not a foolproof one, but more opportunities for finding a spouse struck us both as a Good Thing.
I tended to think of it, as I’ve mentioned before, as being like a big party where you know the host but not everyone there. You chat with a bunch of people, and perhaps a spark will strike, or perhaps it won’t, but at the least you’ve broadened your horizons and perhaps made a few more friends in the bargain–also a Good Thing!
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DeniseNY
Guest
I had very similar experiences to yours, unfortunately.
What was really disappointing was on one of the Catholic sites (can’t recall which one), they ask if you believe in/adhere to the Church’s teachings on premarital sex and birth control. When my responses were “yes”, i got very few men who were interested in me. As an experiment, I changed my answers to “no”, and boy, were they crawling out of the woodwork!
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TeachCatechism
Guest
That sounds like Catholic Match. Many of us complained because it claimed to be a Catholic site yet the men often weren’t. They were either non Catholic (quite a few were atheist)or were not living as Catholic. Many admitted they wanted sex more than anything else.
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