Online Dating

  • Thread starter Thread starter annie17on12
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

annie17on12

Guest
I’m in my twenties and I recently tried online Catholic dating and went into it very optimistic. I bought a subscription and everything. The results are really disheartening though. I am getting attention from a bunch of creepers and then guys who talk to me, sound like they want to ask me out and then pull a Houdini on me! :confused:

In real life, the only guys that notice me aren’t my type. How do I deal with this? I feel like its about time I get in a relationship. I have so much love to give, but can’t seem to find the right person. Volunteering and such is good and all, but I long for an emotional connection with someone. Why does God make people wait even though they have been praying for so long?
 
Set your expectations for online dating. It is not really different than IRL. Don’t have unrealistic expectations.

Online, people tend to over share and get emotionally involved too quickly. Guard your heart.

I met my husband through online Catholic dating. We were both on the site 2 years before we meet each other. We dated two years. We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.
 
1ke said:
Set your expectations for online dating. It is not really different than IRL. Don’t have unrealistic expectations.
Click to expand...
Right.

By the way, what is your type, and what type are you drawing?
 
annie17on12 said:
I’m in my twenties and I recently tried online Catholic dating and went into it very optimistic. I bought a subscription and everything. The results are really disheartening though. I am getting attention from a bunch of creepers and then guys who talk to me, sound like they want to ask me out and then pull a Houdini on me! :confused:

In real life, the only guys that notice me aren’t my type. How do I deal with this? I feel like its about time I get in a relationship. I have so much love to give, but can’t seem to find the right person. Volunteering and such is good and all, but I long for an emotional connection with someone. Why does God make people wait even though they have been praying for so long?
Click to expand...
How long were you on the online dating site?
 
annie17on12 said:
I’m in my twenties and I recently tried online Catholic dating and went into it very optimistic. I bought a subscription and everything. The results are really disheartening though. I am getting attention from a bunch of creepers and then guys who talk to me, sound like they want to ask me out and then pull a Houdini on me! :confused:

In real life, the only guys that notice me aren’t my type. How do I deal with this? I feel like its about time I get in a relationship. I have so much love to give, but can’t seem to find the right person. Volunteering and such is good and all, but I long for an emotional connection with someone. Why does God make people wait even though they have been praying for so long?
Click to expand...
Personally, I do not believe in meeting online. I think it works in only a small minority of cases. People have such high expectations of each other, and then when they meet if the other fails to live up to those high expectations…it’s over. When people meet IRL they know what they are getting. Expectations are more realistic.

Be active in your church. Volunteer at a hospital. There are plenty of unattached doctors and med students walking around, not to mention people in for tests, visiting others, etc. Eat in the hospital cafeteria. Volunteer at a library, become an art gallery docent, do anything that puts you in contact with the type of person you want to get to know. If you like to work out, join a gym or learn martial arts. Take a class. I have a ton of interesting and good looking young men in my theology classes! It doesn’t have to be theology. Take whatever interests you - photography, creative writing, painting, etc. Join a hiking club.

Since you have so much love to give, and I don’t doubt that you do, how about giving some more to Christ? He is one who will never let you down.👍
 
Well i have an available 29 year old son…
He needs someone in his life
…just a bit far outa town for you i guess
 
annie17on12 said:
. Why does God make people wait even though they have been praying for so long?
Click to expand...
With all due respect, that sounds like a statement from a worker’s union. I put in X hours now give me my raise. God and prayer don’t work that way. We are to ALWAYS end prayers with ‘Thy will be done’.

I am 45 single never married so I can remember what it was like to be in my 20’s and not understand why I wasn’t meeting anyone. My only regret, the time I spent feeling sorry for myself.

Trust God’s plan and you can’t go wrong

Angie
 
Which Catholic dating site is it? Is it one which allows you to be clear you support all relevant Church teachings? Do your profile or photos have anything which might tend to attract “creepers”?

What do you mean by “pull a Houdini”? They want you to tie them up and dunk them in water so that they can magically escape? They want you to punch them in the stomach as hard as you can?
 
Elizium23 said:
Do your profile or photos have anything which might tend to attract “creepers”?
Click to expand...
I don’t know about Catholic online dating culture, but from what I hear of mainstream online dating culture, it’s standard for women on online dating sites to get bombarded with dozens of unappetizing lewd propositions from total strangers.
 
Xantippe said:
I don’t know about Catholic online dating culture, but from what I hear of mainstream online dating culture, it’s standard for women on online dating sites to get bombarded with dozens of unappetizing lewd propositions from total strangers.
Click to expand...
As long as one uses the provided communication channels only, and doesn’t give out IM, email, Facebook, cell phone contact info, these “creepers” can be immediately reported to the site’s moderators, who will be able to take action.

Creepers are the ones who want to talk to you out-of-band so that they are unmonitored.
 
Elizium23 said:
As long as one uses the provided communication channels only, and doesn’t give out IM, email, Facebook, cell phone contact info, these “creepers” can be immediately reported to the site’s moderators, who will be able to take action.

Creepers are the ones who want to talk to you out-of-band so that they are unmonitored.
Click to expand...
Aha! I didn’t get that distinction.

Interesting.
 
I very recently stumbled on to a Catholic
dating site by mistake, I just went to a
link on a thread and read the article and
JUST WANTED TO MAKE A COMMENT,
to so that you have to apply for membership,
so I went thru a seemingly interminable no.
of questions and presto!, I had before me
pics of women my age with enticing details
of their lives, all matched to MY profile!!!
I was upset, because I wasn’t looking for
a mate, but the site TOOK IT FOR GRANTED
that I was “on the hunt”!😊
 
Elizium23 said:
Which Catholic dating site is it? Is it one which allows you to be clear you support all relevant Church teachings? Do your profile or photos have anything which might tend to attract “creepers”?

What do you mean by “pull a Houdini”? They want you to tie them up and dunk them in water so that they can magically escape? They want you to punch them in the stomach as hard as you can?
Click to expand...
There is no obvious reason why creepy men are attracted to my profile. I have a modest head shot with a modest smile. I describe that I want a very catholic person etc.

By pull a Houdini I mean they disappear. POOF! one day I’m talking to them and its awesome (like they want to pray for me and say how beautiful I am etc) and then they completely ignore me.
 
I was back and forth on a Catholic online dating site for over five years. I experienced everything that you did. There were so many disappointments and I thought maybe I was just destined to be single. But I didn’t give up, and now I’m with a great guy that I met from there. He is everything that I prayed for and more! I hope it happens for you as well!
 
Online dating is just another venue to meet people. Don’t expect too much out of it. Many will just look at your profile and never make contact some will send a short note and disappear. Many incounters online will end with other party just disappearing because people loose interest and don’t want to be bothered to let you know or it’s just easier to walk away and disappear. Don’t take any of it personally. As others recommended guard your heart. Take each encounter as a moment thing and don’t make it any more than that till you’ve met the person a few times face to face. Even if you’ve been writing to them for months or spoken on the phone. Im my opinion it’s always best to meet people as soon as possible that way you know right off if you are wasting time. Also don’t expect to meet the love of you life just hope to meet a really cool person or friend. If things go well from there then worry about the rest. Just don’t take it that seriously and you’ll do fine. 👍
 
annie17on12 said:
I’m in my twenties and I recently tried online Catholic dating and went into it very optimistic. I bought a subscription and everything. The results are really disheartening though. I am getting attention from a bunch of creepers and then guys who talk to me, sound like they want to ask me out and then pull a Houdini on me! :confused:

In real life, the only guys that notice me aren’t my type. How do I deal with this? I feel like its about time I get in a relationship. I have so much love to give, but can’t seem to find the right person. Volunteering and such is good and all, but I long for an emotional connection with someone. Why does God make people wait even though they have been praying for so long?
Click to expand...
Have you tried paid membership? It filters creepy guys, I’m guessing. A man taking Catholic online courting seriously would pay for a premium or whatever kind of paid membership.

Maybe you should state “Do not contact me unless you are serious on getting to know me.” And maybe “I’m only interested in exclusive dating.” Because maybe they ignore you because there are other women in their list? 🤷

Personally, I prefer exclusive courting, it means the guy is taking me seriously. (Though that doesn’t matter now since I already married a special man I met here in CAF 😉 ).
 
Yup, I have a paid membership right now.

I’m sort of inclined to think God might just want me to be single for now. 😦
 
Have you considered a vocation to religious life? Do you have a spiritual director or at least a regular confessor?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top