Only Mortal Sins in confession

[aball1035]

Their was a long line behind me for confession last week, and I was telling the priest all my sins, but he only wanted mortal sins that I knew were mortal (not for example iffy ones) simply because of the time. My question is, what if we do something that would be a mortal sin but not intentionally (or it’s iffy) like eating meat on fridays in lent accidently. Would I still have to confess it if I forgot?

 

[LilyM]

There’s nothing iffy about eating meat on a Lenten Friday by accident - that’s not a sin.

If you do ANYTHING whatsoever unintentionally, then it can’t possibly be a mortal sin. Mortal sin fundamentally requires intent.

 

[brigid12]

Their was a long line behind me for confession last week, and I was telling the priest all my sins, but he only wanted mortal sins that I knew were mortal (not for example iffy ones) simply because of the time. My question is, what if we do something that would be a mortal sin but not intentionally (or it’s iffy) like eating meat on fridays in lent accidently. Would I still have to confess it if I forgot?

It would be a good thing to confess that. And if that priest only wanted to hear mortal sins, I would go to a different confessor if at all possible.

 

[LilyM]

It would be a good thing to confess that. And if that priest only wanted to hear mortal sins, I would go to a different confessor if at all possible.

By all means go to another confessor and seek advice about the ‘iffy’ ones. Be aware also that they aren’t mortal sins - yet - because at the time you did them you lacked the ‘full knowledge’ (ie knowing it’s grave matter) that is necessary for it to be mortal.

I’d say that if you do something unintentionally it probably isn’t even a sin at all - a sin is a conscious offence against God’s law, not an unconscious one.

Put it this way - would you be upset at someone if they did something totally unintentionally that hurt you? If not, why do you think God would get upset if you totally unknowingly hurt Him?

 

[August_Ambrose]

Their was a long line behind me for confession last week, and I was telling the priest all my sins, but he only wanted mortal sins that I knew were mortal (not for example iffy ones) simply because of the time. My question is, what if we do something that would be a mortal sin but not intentionally (or it’s iffy) like eating meat on fridays in lent accidently. Would I still have to confess it if I forgot?

Before you enter the confessional, you should have examined your conscience and made an act of contritition for all of your sins. When you speak to the priest, you tell him the sins your remember and are sorry for, he will then give you abslotion and a penance. He may ask you about something you had said or give you some consoul; If you are not sure, its not a mortal sin!
In other words you don’t accidently commit a mortal sin. A mortal sin is delibrate knowing sin against the goodness of God and His church. If you tell your sins and receive absolution it will be a quick service. The priest doesn’t want to hear excuses as why a sin isn’t mortal.
The priest gives you absolution for the sins you were sorry for before you entered the confessional, it a fast job. These sacramental graces of absolution will help you to overcome all of your sins. So confess your venial sins too, if the priest objects, just offer it up smile and say a prayer for him

Go in peace to love and serve the lord.
I don’t go to confession very often because I’m 80 and can’t stand still very long in long lines, but I still enjoy going to confession, Its usually short even with my hearing aids, I have to ask him twice what my penance is, because some of them want to speak softly and tell me to speak softly too. not that I;m to old to sin, its just more difficult now,

 

[Joe_Kelley]

I tell my classes that you only have to go to Confession if you have a mortal sin to confess. Likewise, you only have to go to the dentist if you have a rotten tooth to be dug out.

However, if you go to the dentist regularly, and catch all the little problems, you probably won’t have a rotten tooth that has to be dug out. Likewise, if you go to Confession regularly with all your small faults, you probably can avoid having a mortal sin to confess.

 

[Red_Meg]

I tell my classes that you only have to go to Confession if you have a mortal sin to confess. Likewise, you only have to go to the dentist if you have a rotten tooth to be dug out.

However, if you go to the dentist regularly, and catch all the little problems, you probably won’t have a rotten tooth that has to be dug out. Likewise, if you go to Confession regularly with all your small faults, you probably can avoid having a mortal sin to confess.

That is a terrific analogy! Thank you so much for sharing! It can be so hard to convince people who aren’t in the habit of the value of regular, “devotional” confession. I’m going to file that one away for future use…

Margaret

 

[LilyM]

That is a terrific analogy! Thank you so much for sharing! It can be so hard to convince people who aren’t in the habit of the value of regular, “devotional” confession. I’m going to file that one away for future use…

Margaret

One that I use is car maintenance - you get your car serviced regularly every so often, even if there aren’t any major problems with it, simply to AVOID those major problems!

 

[Filioque]

With regard to sins that you are not sure of, which the priest did not want to hear, or an actual mortal sin that you honestly forget to mention (not one you may willfully withold) the absolution is sufficient. While you should confess it next time you are in the confessional, (you may want to tell the priest that while you were absolved at your last confession, you forgot to mention x,y and z.) be assured that you have been absoved, given the proper disposition, (sorrow for your sins, and an amendment to not sin again).

 

[Joe_Kelley]

One that I use is car maintenance - you get your car serviced regularly every so often, even if there aren’t any major problems with it, simply to AVOID those major problems!

I like that one too. Thanks for sharing. Joe

 

[Sr_Sally]

If you do have mortal sins to confess, you should not also include venial sins in that confession. The instruction I have always received is that it gives the sense that you think all those sins are of the same weight.

If you are concerned about forgetting or the priest cutting you off always say “for these and all my sins I am truly sorry” after you finish saying your list of sins. Then those that you don’t repeat aloud are also covered.

Remember also that there may be someone waiting behind you who does have a mortal sin to confess or who has finally worked up the courage to come to confession. Be succinct and precise so that father hear the other people’s confessions also.

Also, don’t expect spiritual direction in confession. You are there for absolution. If you have questions for father or situations you are not sure about, make an appointment outside of the confessional times.

 

[baltobetsy]

If you do have mortal sins to confess, you should not also include venial sins in that confession. The instruction I have always received is that it gives the sense that you think all those sins are of the same weight.
What does it matter whether someone thinks you are mistaken about the seriousness of your sins? You are free to confess whatever sins you are sorry for. Now, you should mention the mortal sins first so you don’t chicken out or forget them. If the priest thinks you are confused, he will instruct you.

If you are concerned about forgetting or the priest cutting you off always say “for these and all my sins I am truly sorry” after you finish saying your list of sins. Then those that you don’t repeat aloud are also covered.
Be careful of magical thinking. God knows your thoughts and your contrition.

Remember also that there may be someone waiting behind you who does have a mortal sin to confess or who has finally worked up the courage to come to confession. Be succinct and precise so that father hear the other people’s confessions also.
Good advice.

Also, don’t expect spiritual direction in confession. You are there for absolution. If you have questions for father or situations you are not sure about, make an appointment outside of the confessional times.
***It is not unreasonable to expect a bit of advice or encouragement, or to ask a brief question about how to avoid a sin in the future. We don’t want to reduce this most personal encounter with the healing Christ to a vending machine transaction. You put in mortal sins and contrition and the priest spits out a penance and absolution. All done! How cold. Surely the Divine Physician has better bedside manner than that!

And, practically speaking, most people, especially the ones who need it most - those who just worked up the courage to confess, for example, are not going to make an appointment to ask their questions or get advice. It’s in the confessional or not at all. It’s very possible to take care of someone in a minute or two without inconveniencing the people waiting in line.***

 

[Sr_Sally]

What does it matter whether someone thinks you are mistaken about the seriousness of your sins? You are free to confess whatever sins you are sorry for. Now, you should mention the mortal sins first so you don’t chicken out or forget them. If the priest thinks you are confused, he will instruct you.

Of course we are free to confess any sins. I was simply relaying the instruction given to me by my priest since it seemed to fit the questions asked by the OP.

Me: If you are concerned about forgetting or the priest cutting you off always say “for these and all my sins I am truly sorry” after you finish saying your list of sins. Then those that you don’t repeat aloud are also covered.
Betsy: Be careful of magical thinking. God knows your thoughts and your contrition.

Of course God does, but the OP did say he was sorry for his sins but concerned about not getting to say them all. If he has confessed his mortal sins, but doesn’t have an opportunity to say all the venial sins aloud, words similar to those I gave can be used. Again, this is instruction I have received from my confessor, not a magical ritual I made up. It is a way to signal to the priest that you are done and also to include any forgetten venial sins.

It is not unreasonable to expect a bit of advice or encouragement, or to ask a brief question about how to avoid a sin in the future. We don’t want to reduce this most personal encounter with the healing Christ to a vending machine transaction. You put in mortal sins and contrition and the priest spits out a penance and absolution. All done! How cold. Surely the Divine Physician has better bedside manner than that!

Caertainly it is not unreasonable to expect a bit of advice. But it is unreasonable to expect long instruction or answers to every question about which specifc situations from the last month were sinful. Confession and spiritual direction are not the same thing. And instruction on what consitutes a mortal or venial sin is actually neither, but something that should be addressed outside of either situation.

And, practically speaking, most people, especially the ones who need it most - those who just worked up the courage to confess, for example, are not going to make an appointment to ask their questions or get advice. It’s in the confessional or not at all. It’s very possible to take care of someone in a minute or two without inconveniencing the people waiting in line.

I agree completely. I would never begrudge someone in that situation a few minutes of Father’s time. However, that was not the siutation the OP was in (or it didn’t appear that way to me). He specifically mentioned the line for confessions, so my advice was directed at not using the confessional for religious instruction or spiritual direction.

 

[m134e5]

It would be a good thing to confess that. And if that priest only wanted to hear mortal sins, I would go to a different confessor if at all possible.

If the priest knew there was a long line for confessions, it was very prudent of him to say he only wanted to hear the mortal sins. It is very frustrating when you need to go to confession, time is running out, there is a long line, and whoever is in there is taking too long. Remember that you can be a near occasion of sin for others by doing that.

 

[Tybourne]

Does anyone know of an examination of conscience that lists all grave sins, excerpted from the Catechism? When describing the ‘matter’ of a sin we should use the term ‘grave’ rather than ‘mortal’, as the latter depends on the other two conditions being met (full intent and clear knowledge).

 

[joanofarc143130]

Personally, if I did not confess some sins that were “iffy,” I would not feel properly disposed to receive the Blessed Sacrament and it would become a matter of great interior doubt and suffering for me. I do understand, however, the need for conciseness in a crowded situation like the one you described. My own method is this – do a very careful examination of conscience beforehand and try to summarize your sins, including the iffy ones, in as few words as possible. You do not need to tell the priest the whole situation unless it was a strange circumstance that affects whether you are guilty or not… truthfully, I do not see the harm in taking fifteen more seconds to quickly confess these iffy sins and then be able to go to mass with a free conscience rather than leave wondering if you have omitted something serious. If it helps you be faster about it and you have a lot to confess, make a list and bring it into the confessional with you. (Don’t forget to destroy it afterwards!! )

If you later remember a mortal sin that you forgot to confess, yes, you are responsible for confessing it, but if you have since received Holy Communion you are not guilty of sinning against the Blessed Sacrament. As for forgetting that a sin is grave matter at the time you commit it, then (as others have said here) it is not a mortal sin, because mortal sin requires a) that the sin is grave matter, b) you know the sin is grave matter, and c) you give full and willing consent to committing it.

Also I wish parishes would have more and longer times for confession (although it is hard to regulate because some weeks it seems like nobody is there). Saturday afternoon looks like the norm, at least for every parish near my house, which makes it extremely difficult for me to get there because I do not own a car and both my parents are using the cars on Saturday afternoons (I’m a convert, they are Protestant and don’t see the need for confession anyway and so it’s not a big deal to them). Does anyone else have trouble getting there at this time? So when I can go to confession it is a great joy for me and I see to it that I confess everything I am struggling with, unless there is an obvious long line and then I try to omit the venial sins.

It is my opinion that hearing confessions is a priest’s job and in no way should the confessions of the people be limited, however there are some things we just can’t regulate like how many people come. One more thing – some of us do struggle with sins that aren’t mortal and for these types of people it can be a great torment not to be able to confess those sins.

St. Faustina writes in her Diary, “God demands great purity of certain souls, and so He gives them a deeper knowledge of their own misery…Sin depends on the degree of knowledge and light that exists within the soul” (112).

For those who are called to a higher holiness, it may be necessary that they either find a spiritual director to counsel them or set up a private confession outside of normal times.