Only uncertain ancient history? I want more reason to be Christian

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All I can offer is a bit of perspective.

First, IMHO, you come off as a spoiled, entitled brat. I don’t mean that quite as harshly as it sounds–but, objectively…that’s what you sound (read) like.

Second, let’s take a look at my basis for above; let’s begin with an inventory of what we can deduce about you, just from the mere fact that you are posting on here–from Japan: You’re obviously alive; you’re obviously a human being; you’re obviously literate–banging away on a keyboard, lamenting how awful you have it.

From which we may deduce:
  1. You exist;
  2. You exist in a more dignified manner than a rock; than a plant; than a cock roach; than a cat; than a monkey…;
  3. You have been blessed with enough resources, to be able to read and write;
  4. You are blessed with enough resources to type on a computer…and communicate with strangers, across the Pacific Ocean, in your native tongue;
…yet somewhere along the lines, God has allegedly damned you so, that you bemoan his benevolence towards you, and worse still, dare question His very existence.

Quite shameful, frankly.

My people came from a place that would appear to be far less dignified than where you find yourself in now (before my time); first hand however, I have worked–as a missionary—with people in circumstances that probably make yours seem downright comfortable. People who could not read or write; who slept on dirt floor, or if lucky, on a hammock, or some rickety excuse for a cot; who’s idea of a full day’s nutrition, amounted to less than what my Pekingese eats in a single sitting (to say nothing of my golden retriever, or 100 lb. Am. Bulldog); people who had scarcely even seen an automobile, let alone owned or driven one; people for whom running water and/or electricity, are unknown concepts, and whose family members were lucky to live to the see the north side of 40…

Here’s my humble suggestion to you sir:
  1. Apologize to God for daring to question His existence;
  2. Apologize for being ungrateful for His benevolence;
  3. Thank God for the gift of today;
  4. Then…politely, humbly, sweetly…ask God for a sign–in His time.
JMHO/FWIW.
I hate to agree with you, but I do. I sympathise with the OP,but I feel like they
are refusing to see the answers in front of them. I would like to remind the OP, since they mentioned that Christians don’t explain suffering (or something along those lines, I am a bit tired) that we do consider Job part of our Bible. And even Job never questioned God’s existence. If Christians didn’t explain suffering, our entire religion wouldn’t have been built on an act of suffering. We believe Christ suffered and died for us. I don’t have all the answers. But you should not make the assumption that you do. (since you ask questions, then refute the explanation given, without actually giving a reasoned response). Just know that God loves you.
 
. . . it appears to me that God is not taking care of my needs – more than that, God has not given me any way to care for them myself, either: I literally can do nothing but suffer until God or another agent intervenes. . . I don’t understand why both Jesus and I must suffer together for life to turn out well – it only raises the question of why we must suffer at all . . .
That we are dependent on God is a wonderful lesson to learn and well worth the price imho.
As is the forging of patience through such experiences, not to mention courage.

Suffering is so real! It makes you want to find out what this is all about.
Some people wallow in their misery; others find themselves united with the entire human race.
It also spurs one on to help one’s neighbour.
These sentiments will be of no consolation to one aspiring to be a rock.

With regards to knowing God, I am reminded that Moses came down from the Mount to give us the Ten Commandments, and that from the Mount, Jesus gave us the Beatitudes, specifically: “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.”
 
Ethereality, I think that your post is particularly difficult to answer since, while you ask one question (why should I believe in God) there are multiple different facets to your problem that have to be considered. Namely:
  1. Code:
     You’re suffering in your personal life right now, which brings about the question of the problem of pain and how best to deal with the pain that you are facing in your life. You need pastoral or practical advice to best deal with this problem.
  2. Code:
     You also bring up the idea of the logical problem of evil, in that how can evil exist along with a good God? You mention that this is a huge problem for Christianity (and it is), but I don’t think you give quite enough credit to the philosophers that have tried to solve this problem. Not to mention that Naturalism’s solution is (at least in my opinion) even more unsatisfactory.
  3. Code:
     You mention that you are interested in Naturalism, in that it seems to solve all (or at least most) of the problems that Christianity has without having any serious problems itself.
These are all complicated questions, and I fear that you probably won’t get the deep answers that you are looking for on an internet forum. The best that I can do, at any rate, is point you to better minds than my own who have helped me in the past.

As I mentioned above, your concerns with the problem of pain are actually twofold (practical and logical), and a solution to one will not necessarily help with the other.

I’d suggest reading chapter 8 of The Screwtape Letters, as well as The Problem of Pain, by C S Lewis. As a poster above already mentioned, sometimes the reason that God appears to be absent in our lives is to afford us an opportunity to grow. It’s easy to be good when we feel close to God, or when we are happy, or when life is going well. But God wants us to be good, without qualifiers. Being able to do His will when life is going well is the beginner’s lesson. It’s quite possible that He is now moving you to the advanced lesson – doing His will when things are tough – when you don’t ‘feel’ His presence at all. He wants you to follow Him from your will alone. He wants you to stand on your own two feet. And to do this He needs to at least appear to be removed from you (even if He isn’t in actuality).

As to your interest in Naturalism – you mention that Naturalism has some good responses (or at least the promise of good responses) to things like the beginning of the universe and free will. However, one place that it is severely lacking is in the Theory of Mind. Most Naturalists will appeal to neuroscience, but in reality the Problem of the Mind is at least as problematic for Naturalism as the Problem of Pain is for Theism. Here are a few books to get you started:

a. Philosophy of the Mind, by Edward Feser (a very good introductory book to the theory of the mind)

b. C.S. Lewis’ Dangerous Idea by Victor Reppert

c. The Emergent Self by William Hasker

And, to throw some atheists into the mix:

d. Mind and Cosmos by Thomas Nagel

e. Anything written my John Searle (I admit that I haven’t read any of his books, but from the bits I have he seems to have very interesting things to say about artificial intelligence and how it can’t be accounted for by naturalistic processes).
 
I just saw that you don’t have access to many books. In that case , I suggest reading Edward Feser’s blog. Now, while I like Feser, I do think that up can be a bit too condescending towards atheism for my liking. Nevertheless he has a lot of interesting things to say. I’d start with this post: edwardfeser.blogspot.com/2012/05/rosenberg-roundup.html?m=1
 
Since I first saw this topic, I’be wanted to recommend Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton, but have refrained because you mentioned you don’t have a lot of time. Still, I can’t help myself. It’s not a metaphysical argument or anything, but it’s a short, enjoyable read and Chesterton’s personal case for his belief. I don’t know if it would help, but he has great insight and a way with words. I believe it’s in the public domain, too.
 
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