Open Asexuality

[An_Aspie]

I am seeking moral guidance on the issue of asexuality and the degree to which I can openly identify with and participate in asexuality things.

I was recently diagnosed with high functioning Autism (Aspergers) as an adult and have been learning a lot about who I am through that. As I continue to read and research, I am thinking that the sexual orientation of asexual, or “ace,” solidly describes how I think and feel.

I essentially am not sexually attracted to any person. While there are girls that I find to be good looking relative to others, there is no real sexual attraction. All the equipment works and I can physically complete the act, but I cannot be sexually aroused by another person. I have fallen into the sin of pornography and have also tried the act out of curiosity. I am aware of the morality of this and have confessed it. The point is that during these deeds, while I can be aroused and maintain it, it must be done manually as neither the pornography nor the direct presence of a naked girl can arouse me and I never had any interested in the “other things” such as kissing and touching and anything else that goes along with it. Should I get married, I may have sex, but it would be motivated by a desire for a family and/or to please my partner rather than any real attraction.

My question is whether it would be morally permissible to openly identify as asexual, or to participate in asexual meetings, or to display the ace pride flag (which is not the same as the LGBT pride flag). Would doing such things be sinful or at least scandalous to the Faithful? I am 100% committed to all the Church’s teachings. Also, if I did come to the conclusion that doing these things is ok, I would not do so if I believed it would also promote a sinful LGBT lifestyle.

Some people might want to know why I might be motivated to do this in the first place. I suppose it has to do with discovering my own identity in the world, taking pride in what makes me me (I already have autistic pride things on my car), and meeting others similar to me.

Any advice grounded in sound reasoning would be greatly appreciated.

 

[edwest2]

I have very little knowledge about asexuality so I have little to add until I know what “participate in asexuality things.” means.

Best,
Ed

 

[Thom18]

Openly identifying as asexual doesn’t sound sinful to me. Attending meetings is probably fine as well. I don’t believe displaying the asexuality flag would be sinful or necessarily scandalous, either. As long as you live a chaste life according to your vocation, you should be “good”.

Welcome to CA!

 

[EqualinHim]

I’m a high-functioning autistic and probably rank somewhere along the demisexual part of the spectrum. I think it’d be interesting to see a study of how many folks along the spectrum are asexual. A friend of mine is asexual and is on the spectrum as well. Identifying as asexual wouldn’t be bad but you should be careful as people from some of the asexual groups tend to hang out/affiliate with LGBTQ Pride groups so tread carefully in that area.

 

[Viki63]

Dear brother,
I would recommend staying away from the ace movement. Just from the little I’ve read about it, it seems as if 90% of aces consider themselves LBGT or LGBT allies. It doesn’t seem like something a Christian could support.

Besides, it’s unhealthy to define oneself in terms of one’s sexuality, whatever it might be, which is what a lot of LGBT (and by inference, aces) tend to do. We are so much more than our sexuality.

We all need a sense of belonging. Perhaps you could look into some Catholic lay organizations (here’s a link) which could do some real good in the world and draw you closer to Christ. It doesn’t seem as if hanging out with LGBT folks would be likely to do that.
God bless.

.

 

[Thorolfr]

Besides, it’s unhealthy to define oneself in terms of one’s sexuality, whatever it might be, which is what a lot of LGBT (and by inference, aces) tend to do. We are so much more than our sexuality.

People identify with all sorts of things. They identify with their nationality by putting national flags on their houses or cars. They sing national anthems. They identify with certain heritages such as being of Irish heritage by attending St. Patrick’s Day Parades, for example. Is that also unhealthy? After all, we’re so much more than our nationality or our ancestral heritage but I don’t see what’s wrong with identifying with such things. I guess I don’t understand your reasoning.

 

[Allegra]

People identify with all sorts of things. They identify with their nationality by putting national flags on their houses or cars. They sing national anthems. They identify with certain heritages such as being of Irish heritage by attending St. Patrick’s Day Parades, for example. Is that also unhealthy? After all, we’re so much more than our nationality or our ancestral heritage but I don’t see what’s wrong with identifying with such things. I guess I don’t understand your reasoning.

Sex is meant to be an intimate thing between two married people. It’s unhealthy to feel the need to announce your preferences and identify yourself by them to others.

 

[Allegra]

I am seeking moral guidance on the issue of asexuality and the degree to which I can openly identify with and participate in asexuality things.

I was recently diagnosed with high functioning Autism (Aspergers) as an adult and have been learning a lot about who I am through that. As I continue to read and research, I am thinking that the sexual orientation of asexual, or “ace,” solidly describes how I think and feel.

I essentially am not sexually attracted to any person. While there are girls that I find to be good looking relative to others, there is no real sexual attraction. All the equipment works and I can physically complete the act, but I cannot be sexually aroused by another person. I have fallen into the sin of pornography and have also tried the act out of curiosity. I am aware of the morality of this and have confessed it. The point is that during these deeds, while I can be aroused and maintain it, it must be done manually as neither the pornography nor the direct presence of a naked girl can arouse me and I never had any interested in the “other things” such as kissing and touching and anything else that goes along with it. Should I get married, I may have sex, but it would be motivated by a desire for a family and/or to please my partner rather than any real attraction.

My question is whether it would be morally permissible to openly identify as asexual, or to participate in asexual meetings, or to display the ace pride flag (which is not the same as the LGBT pride flag). Would doing such things be sinful or at least scandalous to the Faithful? I am 100% committed to all the Church’s teachings. Also, if I did come to the conclusion that doing these things is ok, I would not do so if I believed it would also promote a sinful LGBT lifestyle.

Some people might want to know why I might be motivated to do this in the first place. I suppose it has to do with discovering my own identity in the world, taking pride in what makes me me (I already have autistic pride things on my car), and meeting others similar to me.

Any advice grounded in sound reasoning would be greatly appreciated.

While lots of people can be aroused easily by images and still more by affectionate sensations, lots of people are aroused primarily by achieving a certain intimacy with someone they love. I would dare say that more people than you think don’t become sexually aroused by the sight of random strangers, regardless of how “hot” they are, because they require the relationship and intimacy. I consider myself to be in the same category, and had I known it was a “thing” I might have thought myself to be “asexual”, until I met my husband. The thing is, I don’t think it leads to any good to identify oneself by one’s sexual nature. That’s meant to be privately explored between one and one’s spouse. If you want to express “pride” in something, maybe you should find a way to express your belief in the holiness of the sacrament of marriage instead? That would be something worth sharing with the world.

 

[upant]

participate in asexuality things.

what does this entail?

if you are looking for a mission, as a person with high functioning Asperger; wouldn’t you be able to help a lot of low functioning people with Asperger by focusing on the Asperger community?

 

[Lea101]

As far as I know, asexuality isn’t wrong.

Calling yourself an asexual isn’t wrong, you don’t have to lie or keep it a secret. Same with LGBT catholics. They can openly say “I’m a lesbian”, they don’t have to keep it a secret (that doesn’t mean they can act on their desires, but you probably know that).

Meetings on asexuality can be helpful to cope with it, if you are not too happy about it. Talking to people who are like you can always be uplifting. I can’t imagine that being wrong unless the content in these meetings are sinful.

With the pride flag…it seems a little weird to me. Your identity as a person should not be based on one aspect of your life. I feel like your identity should be more than that and there isn’t any need to fixate on one thing. Then again, I don’t care about flags and symbols in general. So maybe I just can’t relate, lol. I am not consciously aware about my identity, and I don’t really feel the need to display any aspect of who I am.

Asexuality can be a part of your identity, but if it takes a big space…maybe ask yourself why. A lot of people feel the need to showcase their perceived identity (eg feminism, alt right, politics, race) with external symbols and it…rules their life in some way? It’s not wrong-assuming that it isn’t against teachings-but I’m sure God would be happier if our identity is in him.

 

[Autumn_Smoke]

Sex is meant to be an intimate thing between two married people. It’s unhealthy to feel the need to announce your preferences and identify yourself by them to others.

I would agree with this. There’s an Old Testament verse in which God says, ‘‘My people have forgotten how to blush.’’ I think this is a pretty good summary of our world today in which people are too open about things which should be kept private.

I’m sure God would be happier if our identity is in him.

Amen. I love the Old testament verse which says, ''Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”

 

[josh987654321]

I am seeking moral guidance on the issue of asexuality and the degree to which I can openly identify with and participate in asexuality things.

Asexuality is defined as the lack of sexual attractions toward others, 1) why do you need to openly identify yourself as such? and 2) ‘participate in asexuality things’ is a sentence that makes no sense, what sort of things are you thinking?

I was recently diagnosed with high functioning Autism (Aspergers) as an adult and have been learning a lot about who I am through that.

I would instead try to learn who you are through Christ.

As I continue to read and research, I am thinking that the sexual orientation of asexual, or “ace,” solidly describes how I think and feel.

I would forget about trying to find terms and things to try and label yourself with.

I essentially am not sexually attracted to any person. While there are girls that I find to be good looking relative to others, there is no real sexual attraction. All the equipment works and I can physically complete the act, but I cannot be sexually aroused by another person. I have fallen into the sin of pornography and have also tried the act out of curiosity. I am aware of the morality of this and have confessed it. The point is that during these deeds, while I can be aroused and maintain it, it must be done manually as neither the pornography nor the direct presence of a naked girl can arouse me and I never had any interested in the “other things” such as kissing and touching and anything else that goes along with it. Should I get married, I may have sex, but it would be motivated by a desire for a family and/or to please my partner rather than any real attraction.

It could very likely be the side effects from the sin of pornography use, since it’s like a drug to your brain, the more one uses it the more accustomed the brain becomes to the dosage, and thus one has to keep upping and upping the dosage to get the same high so to speak.

If you remain clean from the sin of pornography, you will probably find the ‘asexuality’ thing change or you may even be tempted with something else, since we all suffer from different temptations, but we do not define ourselves by any temptation or desire.

My question is whether it would be morally permissible to openly identify as asexual, or to participate in asexual meetings, or to display the ace pride flag (which is not the same as the LGBT pride flag). Would doing such things be sinful or at least scandalous to the Faithful? I am 100% committed to all the Church’s teachings. Also, if I did come to the conclusion that doing these things is ok, I would not do so if I believed it would also promote a sinful LGBT lifestyle.

Your not an alcoholic. And what is there to be proud about being asexual? These sort of labels and things play too much into the LGBT agenda stuff IMO, I would avoid it.

Some people might want to know why I might be motivated to do this in the first place. I suppose it has to do with discovering my own identity in the world, taking pride in what makes me me (I already have autistic pride things on my car), and meeting others similar to me.

Any advice grounded in sound reasoning would be greatly appreciated.

I would recommend not trying to discover your own identity in any kind of secular label but rather finding your identity in Christ, some people say they have OCD, for some people they can identify themselves by that term, and treat it as a crutch, but OCD when targeted in the right place(s) is not a bad thing, in fact can be a very good thing if harnessed correctly, with Christ.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on it.

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Vim71]

accidental post, sorry

 

[thistle]

I am seeking moral guidance on the issue of asexuality and the degree to which I can openly identify with and participate in asexuality things.

I was recently diagnosed with high functioning Autism (Aspergers) as an adult and have been learning a lot about who I am through that. As I continue to read and research, I am thinking that the sexual orientation of asexual, or “ace,” solidly describes how I think and feel.

I essentially am not sexually attracted to any person. While there are girls that I find to be good looking relative to others, there is no real sexual attraction. All the equipment works and I can physically complete the act, but I cannot be sexually aroused by another person. I have fallen into the sin of pornography and have also tried the act out of curiosity. I am aware of the morality of this and have confessed it. The point is that during these deeds, while I can be aroused and maintain it, it must be done manually as neither the pornography nor the direct presence of a naked girl can arouse me and I never had any interested in the “other things” such as kissing and touching and anything else that goes along with it. Should I get married, I may have sex, but it would be motivated by a desire for a family and/or to please my partner rather than any real attraction.

My question is whether it would be morally permissible to openly identify as asexual, or to participate in asexual meetings, or to display the ace pride flag (which is not the same as the LGBT pride flag). Would doing such things be sinful or at least scandalous to the Faithful? I am 100% committed to all the Church’s teachings. Also, if I did come to the conclusion that doing these things is ok, I would not do so if I believed it would also promote a sinful LGBT lifestyle.

Some people might want to know why I might be motivated to do this in the first place. I suppose it has to do with discovering my own identity in the world, taking pride in what makes me me (I already have autistic pride things on my car), and meeting others similar to me.

Any advice grounded in sound reasoning would be greatly appreciated.

Viewing pornography and getting aroused is not okay. That is a sin of grave matter.

 

[hu324b]

Why is sexual identity so important to people today - why do people have a need to flaunt their sexual identity. I have never understood this or do I feel a need to identify in that way.

Its always been a mystery to me - my sexuality is not what I want people to know me for and which is a private matter and is actually no one business but mine . It seems only in this modern world it has become so important.

I am not interested in whom you have sex with or what your sexual preference is - why do I need to know this? Please keep me out of it.

Can anyone tell me why this is such a great need for people in today’s world?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I am seeking moral guidance on the issue of asexuality and the degree to which I can openly identify with and participate in asexuality things.

I was recently diagnosed with high functioning Autism (Aspergers) as an adult and have been learning a lot about who I am through that. As I continue to read and research, I am thinking that the sexual orientation of asexual, or “ace,” solidly describes how I think and feel.

I essentially am not sexually attracted to any person. While there are girls that I find to be good looking relative to others, there is no real sexual attraction. All the equipment works and I can physically complete the act, but I cannot be sexually aroused by another person. I have fallen into the sin of pornography and have also tried the act out of curiosity. I am aware of the morality of this and have confessed it. The point is that during these deeds, while I can be aroused and maintain it, it must be done manually as neither the pornography nor the direct presence of a naked girl can arouse me and I never had any interested in the “other things” such as kissing and touching and anything else that goes along with it. Should I get married, I may have sex, but it would be motivated by a desire for a family and/or to please my partner rather than any real attraction.

My question is whether it would be morally permissible to openly identify as asexual, or to participate in asexual meetings, or to display the ace pride flag (which is not the same as the LGBT pride flag). Would doing such things be sinful or at least scandalous to the Faithful? I am 100% committed to all the Church’s teachings. Also, if I did come to the conclusion that doing these things is ok, I would not do so if I believed it would also promote a sinful LGBT lifestyle.

Some people might want to know why I might be motivated to do this in the first place. I suppose it has to do with discovering my own identity in the world, taking pride in what makes me me (I already have autistic pride things on my car), and meeting others similar to me.

Any advice grounded in sound reasoning would be greatly appreciated.

What would the point be?

You want people to identify you by your sexuality?

 

[John_Martin_1]

I feel like there is more to you than your sexual preferences. Your identity as a human should be based on more than your sexual feelings (or lack thereof). I would much rather see your pride for your hobbies, your country, and most of all your God as being significant to your identity.

As Catholics, we identify by our share in the sacraments.

As for the asexual movement, I do not know very much about it. However, I would err on the side of caution. Would joining such a movement be fruitful or be more harmful? Would there be any good reason to join? Would the movement move you closer to the LGBT ideology?

Just some things to think about.

God bless.

 

[CradleJourney]

Sex is meant to be an intimate thing between two married people. It’s unhealthy to feel the need to announce your preferences and identify yourself by them to others.

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

Yeah, I don’t know what “asexuality things” might mean. Like, most activities are not sexual. If you go hiking or play softball with friends, that’s not sexual, but it’s not really defined by asexuality, either. Do you mean just a group of likeminded people you could discuss your disinterest in sex with? Or are you thinking of platonic activities where it’s understood that no one is looking to date anyone else?

Anyway, I find it interesting that you can experience desire through pornography, but not through actual sex. So, just to clarify, you find the image of a naked woman arousing, but not an actual naked woman in the flesh, so to speak?

If that’s the case, it suggests to me that you’re not asexual, you’re just put off by the intimacy of the interaction with another person that comes with sex. It’s probably a function of being on the autism spectrum. You feel intimidated and uneasy being that intimate with another person, which shuts down your sexual response.

Just thinking out loud here.

 

[pianistclare]

Why is sexual identity so important to people today - why do people have a need to flaunt their sexual identity. I have never understood this or do I feel a need to identify in that way.

Its always been a mystery to me - my sexuality is not what I want people to know me for and which is a private matter and is actually no one business but mine . It seems only in this modern world it has become so important.

I am not interested in whom you have sex with or what your sexual preference is - why do I need to know this? Please keep me out of it.

Can anyone tell me why this is such a great need for people in today’s world?

I concur.
Why is this anyone’s business or yours to wave a flag about?
These are personal, private matters. If you are remaining chaste, avoiding porn, and holding the sacrament of marriage sacred, you’re not sinning.
All single people are called to chastity. I think you have that covered.
But announcing to the word? Getting a flag? Joining a group? Why?
Good that you are dealing with your Asperger diagnosis. As one poster said, perhaps your focus can be on helping young people who are not doing as well with it.
That would honor God, and remove the temptation to sin, as you would be doing good with your time.