Opposite of scrupulous?

[newcalling]

What is the opposite of scrupulous? I have been a Catholic for about two months now, and I have only had one confession. I haven’t seen a need for another one, other than because people have said that one probably usually needs confession once a month.

I’m too fat and physically disabled to be tempted into sexual sins. (No worries, I love myself, I just know that I am not eye candy. My half nude body would probably inspire chastity. ) I mean, I have had some lustful thoughts, but I quickly put them aside and turn to prayer. I am generous in helping others without judgment, even when I barely have enough for myself. I participate in every ministry I can, and always look for more that I can do. I almost never lie, and especially don’t bear false witness. I love Jesus, the pope and the church. I love God too much to use His name in vain. I’ve mostly gotten beyond jealousy. I know that I am not perfect, but I just think that it is extremely rare that any of my sins are mortal. I worry that I must be missing something, because I understand that popes and saints go to confession weekly. I’m just concerned that I would keep going in with a very short list of venial sins to the annoyance of the priest. Are there self-examination resources which may help me find mortal sins which I don’t realize are mortal or maybe don’t realize are sins? I have gone through the ten commandments and the Gospels repeatedly, and continue to read the Bible and the Catechism frequently. Is there any other advice you would have? I do have a local deacon who I asked to recommend a spiritual director, and I am waiting to hear back from him, or I will contact him again if it becomes a few weeks.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

You may be experiencing “freedom from scruples” more than “opposite of scruples” which I don’t want to make up a word for atm.

My pastor told me he’s heard a confession from a person who refrained from approaching the Holy Eucharist because they weren’t sure whether their knee touched the floor when they genuflected leaving Mass the prior week.

Personally this is a bit of a bone of contention for me, in that the Church requires us to go to confession at least once a year, but the function is supposedly to remove mortal sin – whereas venial sin does not need this personal treatment.

To be grave matter, and be fully informed and give free consent, all three of those, it really takes some defiance. And if you’re not stubbornly going around committing sexual sins like you said, and have no desire to intentionally go against God on a grave matter, really how hard is it to go a year without a mortal sin?

I see my pastor almost every week for a brief chat of a minute at least, and often 10 or more. I talk to him about all my thoughts and issues and he is wonderful and exceptionally able to guide me without judging me. I tell him my thoughts and if they are heretic he explains how to reframe it to be in line with Catholic teaching. What a great deal I have, but for some they don’t really get to talk to pastors about personal things except in confessional so it can be a very warm human contact for them which I do not want to take away.

I asked my pastor once if I’m going to hell for and he told me, “yes, most likely. But don’t worry about it because you’ll have a chaplain!”

So yeah, confession is beautiful sacrament for redemption but if I really felt like I was mortally sinning every few weeks, then I’d already think I Am in hell.

 

[hazcompat]

Acedia

usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/examinations-of-conscience.cfm

Peace

 

[Trekker47]

Personally this is a bit of a bone of contention for me, in that the Church requires us to go to confession at least once a year, but the function is supposedly to remove mortal sin – whereas venial sin does not need this personal treatment.

Not really related to the OP’s question, but I just thought I’d point out that we’re required to receive communion once a year, not go to confession (unless we’ve sinned mortally). It’s still good practice though of course.

 

[hazcompat]

spiritualdirection.com/

spiritualdirection.com/?s=frequent+confession

Peace

 

[truetofaith]

What is the opposite of scrupulous? I have been a Catholic for about two months now, and I have only had one confession. I haven’t seen a need for another one, other than because people have said that one probably usually needs confession once a month.

I’m too fat and physically disabled to be tempted into sexual sins. (No worries, I love myself, I just know that I am not eye candy. My half nude body would probably inspire chastity. ) I mean, I have had some lustful thoughts, but I quickly put them aside and turn to prayer. I am generous in helping others without judgment, even when I barely have enough for myself. I participate in every ministry I can, and always look for more that I can do. I almost never lie, and especially don’t bear false witness. I love Jesus, the pope and the church. I love God too much to use His name in vain. I’ve mostly gotten beyond jealousy. I know that I am not perfect, but I just think that it is extremely rare that any of my sins are mortal. I worry that I must be missing something, because I understand that popes and saints go to confession weekly. I’m just concerned that I would keep going in with a very short list of venial sins to the annoyance of the priest. Are there self-examination resources which may help me find mortal sins which I don’t realize are mortal or maybe don’t realize are sins? I have gone through the ten commandments and the Gospels repeatedly, and continue to read the Bible and the Catechism frequently. Is there any other advice you would have? I do have a local deacon who I asked to recommend a spiritual director, and I am waiting to hear back from him, or I will contact him again if it becomes a few weeks.

Don’t give a ______________!

 

[revert_jen]

Acedia

usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/sacraments-and-sacramentals/penance/examinations-of-conscience.cfm

Peace

Yes, I think that would be the opposite of scrupulosity, but just to make it clear, that doesn’t mean the OP has it.

To the OP: Lots of people go a long time without committing mortal sins. I imagine (without personal experience here) that some people go their whole lives without doing it. But still you want to go to regular confession.

I think the examinations of conscience in the link above will probably be helpful. You want to try to root out venial sins, too! The more you look at yourself for sinfulness (this time I do have personal experience), the more you find. That doesn’t mean you’re accidentally commiting mortal sins. (Actually, since mortal sins require full knowledge, it’s not really possible to commit them accidentally.) But you are responsible for properly forming your conscience so that you will know what is grave matter and what isn’t.

But anyway, popes and saints are not going to weekly confession because they are committing mortal sins every week, for sure.

The thing is, God is goodness and truth, so the more you see the truth about your sins (venial too) and come nearer to that goodness by overcoming them (with God’s help in the Sacrament of Confession and with His freely offered other help), the closer you will come to God and the better you will know Him. Life’s not only about staying out of Hell!

–Jen

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Not really related to the OP’s question, but I just thought I’d point out that we’re required to receive communion once a year, not go to confession (unless we’ve sinned mortally). It’s still good practice though of course.

But that’s precisely what confuses me. If the sacrament is specifically for mortal sins, then why is it “good practice” to go unless there is a mortal sin to confess? Should we just present a venial sin as if we believe it were mortal, or do we go to confession and say “Father I have not knowingly sinned mortally but here I am because it’s that time of year.” I’ve been plenty sorry for sins before, but it doesn’t happen on a predictable schedule.

CCC 2042 The first precept (“You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor”) requires the faithful to sanctify the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord as well as the principal liturgical feasts honoring the mysteries of the Lord, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints; in the first place, by participating in the Eucharistic celebration, in which the Christian community is gathered, and by resting from those works and activities which could impede such a sanctification of these days.82

**The second precept (“You shall confess your sins at least once a year”) ensures preparation for the Eucharist by the reception of the sacrament of reconciliation, which continues Baptism’s work of conversion and forgiveness.**83

The third precept (“You shall receive the sacrament of the Eucharist at least during the Easter season”) guarantees as a minimum the reception of the Lord’s Body and Blood in connection with the Paschal feasts, the origin and center of the Christian liturgy.84

Footnote 83 is “83 Cf. CIC, can. 989; CCEO, can. 719.” for wherever that takes it.

Maybe it isn’t so bad, though. I don’t know about looking up canon law, but if I follow that rabbit hole I get:

"Can. 989 All the faithful who have reached the age of discretion are bound faithfully to confess their grave sins at least once a year."

So it does appear that once we dig in, it is about grave sins. I would tentatively conclude you are right in that there is no requirement to go if wie don’t have any grave sins. The priest who says Mass in a couple hours is a canon lawyer so maybe I’ll ask him. Or maybe not; it’s not that big of a deal to me as it was a few hours ago.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

The opposite of a scrupulous conscience is a lax conscience. There are various types of consciences including a well-formed conscience and a delicate conscience (which many priests mistake for a scrupulous conscience).

We are all called to be saints, which requires perfect charity. The beginning of the spiritual life is to stop intentionally sinning, both mortal and venial. If you’re not committing mortal sins (which is absolutely possible), the next step would be to stop wilfully committing venial sins. After that, work at rooting out your predominant fault(s) (ie: Pride, anger, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy, covetousness). This can all be done by doing a nightly examination of conscience, having a firm resolve to stop committing at least one of the sins you confess and going to confession weekly.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

But that’s precisely what confuses me. If the sacrament is specifically for mortal sins, then why is it “good practice” to go unless there is a mortal sin to confess? Should we just present a venial sin as if we believe it were mortal, or do we go to confession and say “Father I have not knowingly sinned mortally but here I am because it’s that time of year.” I’ve been plenty sorry for sins before, but it doesn’t happen on a predictable schedule.

Going to confession gives us sacramental graces to help strengthen us and avoid committing the sins we confess. Going to confession once a year to only confess mortal sins is the bare minimum. We are encouraged to go frequently to help us become saints.

 

[newcalling]

The opposite of a scrupulous conscience is a lax conscience. There are various types of consciences including a well-formed conscience and a delicate conscience (which many priests mistake for a scrupulous conscience).

We are all called to be saints, which requires perfect charity. The beginning of the spiritual life is to stop intentionally sinning, both mortal and venial. If you’re not committing mortal sins (which is absolutely possible), the next step would be to stop wilfully committing venial sins. After that, work at rooting out your predominant fault(s) (ie: Pride, anger, sloth, gluttony, lust, envy, covetousness). This can all be done by doing a nightly examination of conscience, having a firm resolve to stop committing at least one of the sins you confess and going to confession weekly.

I definitely have a strong conscience, I just don’t stress about whether my venial sins are mortal. I’ve seen threads from scrupulous people here, and they worry about the littlest things, sometimes things which are not even venial sins, being mortal sins. I do have a healthy fear of and a deep strong love for God, I guess that I just don’t stress about these things because I am pretty clear what is and isn’t sin. When I was growing up I was Baptist, started out as Southern Baptist, and I worried endlessly about these things.

I do have venial sins, and I take them to prayer daily. My aspiration is to be a better person today than I was yesterday, and a better person tomorrow than I was today. I very much appreciate the links someone shared. The first one from the USCCB could easily turn a person scrupulous, but it is a good way also to strive for perfection (which none of us achieves until Heaven, and no one gets closer to it here without the Holy Spirit. ) The second link was particularly helpful, as it answered a few of my main questions about confession.

I can’t see myself going to weekly confession because there just isn’t enough to confess. I’d have to cycle through a few different confessors just to not annoy them with venial matters. However, perhaps once a month or every couple of months. I do have my weaknesses, and there might even be a mortal sin mixed in now and then. However, most of the time it will just be some venial sins and I will have to find a confessor who won’t roll his eyes.

I guess that part of my hesitation is because when I had my first confession I had hardly any actual mortal sins, and the confessor seemed to get impatient with me. Most of the things I thought were mortal sins he would explain to me why they weren’t mortal, and I don’t even do those things anymore. I didn’t even get through all of the venial sins, but I do think that it was a good confession and I felt absolved after. I just can’t imagine going back to the same priest with just a short list of venial sins. I will say that confessing even some of the venial sins made me far less likely to commit any of them again, even the ones I didn’t get to. I like to keep God happy with me and proud of me, so even a venial sin leads me to deep prayer and self reflection. I love making people happy and helping them wherever I can, it is my greatest joy, so of course I want to serve God and make Him happy. He takes priority over all else.

 

[revert_jen]

But that’s precisely what confuses me. If the sacrament is specifically for mortal sins, then why is it “good practice” to go unless there is a mortal sin to confess? Should we just present a venial sin as if we believe it were mortal, or do we go to confession and say “Father I have not knowingly sinned mortally but here I am because it’s that time of year.”

The sacrament is required for mortal sins. That doesn’t mean that it’s specifically for mortal sins. I think you could say it’s especially for mortal sins, but that’s not the same.

I mean, you must attend Mass on Sunday and Holy Days, but that doesn’t mean you have to provide an excuse or pretend it’s Sunday if you attend Mass on a weekday.
CCC #1458:

Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful:

Whoever confesses his sins . . . is already working with God. God indicts your sins; if you also indict them, you are joined with God. Man and sinner are, so to speak, two realities: when you hear “man” - this is what God has made; when you hear “sinner” - this is what man himself has made. Destroy what you have made, so that God may save what he has made. . . . When you begin to abhor what you have made, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works. The beginning of good works is the confession of evil works. You do the truth and come to the light.

I’ve been plenty sorry for sins before, but it doesn’t happen on a predictable schedule.

I don’t know about you, but I commit sins (at least small ones) every day. If I confess them every month, hopefully I will make fewer of them. (Total disclosure: I frequently go less often than that, while still recognizing that monthly confession is a good idea. I also think it would be a good idea to eat more broccoli. )

The advantage of a schedule is that if I wait until I feel like going, it will be a lot longer.

–Jen