Opting out of Sex Ed

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Okay here’s a little bit about what I didn’t like:
  1. Although teachers claimed there would be no instruction regarding sexual intercourse, the film very graphically showed a penis erecting and that it delivers semen into the vagina (which had just been graphically shown) and called it “sexual intercourse”. When a mom questioned this, saying I thought you didn’t talk about sexual intercourse, the teacher said “yeah, but it goes over their heads”. What??? Much of the worksheets show man/woman parts and they must label them. There was a game (done in boy/girl combined class) where they take cards labeled with male/female parts (i.e scrotum) and the kids needed to work in groups and place the cards in the correct male/female category.2) Two whole classes dealing with HIV/AIDS–risk/no risk behavior. The whole idea was to teach “tolerance” towards these people…making it seem that most people get HIV/AIDS through no fault of their own. I know that, of course, there are situations where that is true. However, being in the medical field, I’ve NEVER had an AIDS patient where they “caught” it by playing “blood brothers” with a friend.3) The teachers CLEARLY indicated that they did not feel that kids should be opted out. When I asked if they could be opted out of only some of the classes, I was told no. It was all or nothing. What??? There was one class, I was not too offended by that talked about puberty (the class was one where boy/girl were separated). But no. My kid can’t opt in on the ones I think are less offensive. 4) The teacher actually stated that she had 4 parents take their kids out last year because they didn’t want them to see “this stuff” and that she did not agree. She thought it was “awful” that they would not choose to educate their kids. How does she know? Maybe the parents did it in their own way. She did not have respect for parents’ decision. She actually told my friend that she needed to “get over” the fact that my friend thought combined boy/girl classes would encourage giggling and such. The teacher said that just didn’t happen “these days”. It was condescending toward my friend who is just concerned that her child will be given info that she is not comfortable with. SHE is the parent and she has the right to question/query these teachers.5) Although teachers stressed the importance of parental involvement and said they “always” defer to parents, the film showed a little girl starting her period. She went to her SISTER, not mom. She told her sister NOT to tell her mom about it. The mom was NEVER brought into it. I didn’t question this, but I think I will call the teacher and bring this up. The sister did not tell the girl to talk to “mom” or anything. The sister told the girl that she shouldn’t have sex now, even though she started her period, but when she’s “more mature”. Whatever that means. I think most 10/11 year olds think that they are “mature”. She could have at least said when the girl becomes an “adult”.
No. I’m not a sexuality “expert” or “certified” to teach “reproductive health”. I am a mom. I know what to teach. I know how to teach my kid about this. A way to bring in morals, love, Christ. I will cover the areas in the class in my way. I love my daughter and know where she’s at emotionally. I know that she may be “left out” a little, but I think she will be stronger for it. She may be mad at me, but she’ll be mad when I don’t let her stay in a hotel with her prom date too. I hope I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. I value everyone’s opinions and have taken them all into consideration. Thank you so much. I feel there is no blanket wrong or right answer here.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
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Giannawannabe:
Thank you so much. I feel there is no blanket wrong or right answer here.
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Actually that is an incorrect statement. The only right answer is the one YOU give…you are the parent…I (for one) support your decision.
 
Giannawannabe, I don’t have any kids in school, but based on your description of the material, there is no way that I would want any grade-school age child subjected to it. If such a program had been suggested at my local Catholic grade school when I was growing up, it would have caused such an uproar as to result in firing everyone involved in it. It sounds to me as though the children’s innocence is being violated.

To protect children, must we violate their innocence ahead of time?

Or let me put it another way: If a stranger brought your child into his home and showed them this material, he would probably be arrested for child abuse.
 
What I object to is the attitude that the teachers automatically know what’s best. --KCT
 
I am feeling really discouraged about this whole deal. So many parents are just going to blindly send their kids into this sex ed thing without even checking out the curriculum or viewing that explicit movie. I’ve talked to many people who I thought would care, most of them Catholics, and they seem quite willing to surrender their children to the public school sex ed health class. I have a copy of the curriculum that no one seems interested in even looking at. The only 2 parents who are completely on board are Church of Christ members. The principal saw that I had attended the presentation and asked me my opinion. I told her. She obviously thought I was a fruitcake. My heart breaks for all of those kids whose parents just don’t care. If they at least checked out the curriculum and then made the decision to send them it would be different. I’m just so frustrated. I have to write a letter to opt my kid out. I’d love some suggestions on what to say.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
Bless you in this frustrating situation. Dear Giannawannabe, it’s clear from your posts that you know what you’re doing --don’t let the scorn of others cow you away from firmly and confidently making the right decision for your daughter. Your motivation in keeping your daughter out of the classes seems to be the desire to give her a fuller, rounder, more rich and meaningful sex education, not to keep her in ignorance. Let that be your message in the letter. It’s not that sex education isn’t vital; it’s that a class comprising merely the bare technicalities, completely stripped of the proper moral context of sex in true love and commitment in marriage, is completely misleading–not education at all.
 
Gianna–This is about what is right for your child and your family. Try not to get upset about what other people think and do. If you measure others with your standards, you will always be disappointed. They have different values–yes, even Catholics don’t share the same values.

In your letter, don’t try to convince the principal. You never will. Most people, and especially a principal and the teachers, are not at all open to being convinced or persuaded by another point-of-view. State what you want–that you do not want your child in the sex ed class. You have that right and they must honor it. If you choose to, you may add why you are doing it and what specifically you object to. But recognize that they will not understand your point-of-view and will probably see you as a fanatic. (But, let’s face it, you aren’t too impressed with them either.) Remind yourself that your role is to be the best mother you can be to your children. You aren’t responsible for what other people (the principal, teacher, other parents, or kids) do. Do what is best for your family. God bless.
 
Thanks for the kind words Maendem and La Chiara. You don’t know how much I needed them. I was getting a little down. I know I’m doing the right thing. My daughter and I sat down tonight and did a lesson in the Love and Life Book of Dr. Colleen. We had a wonderful discussion…just like what I want for her. She’s perfectly happy opting out of the class and she seemed so pleased that I felt she was grown up enough to talk about her becoming a woman and what that entails.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
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maendem:
Bless you in this frustrating situation. Dear Giannawannabe, it’s clear from your posts that you know what you’re doing --don’t let the scorn of others cow you away from firmly and confidently making the right decision for your daughter. Your motivation in keeping your daughter out of the classes seems to be the desire to give her a fuller, rounder, more rich and meaningful sex education, not to keep her in ignorance. Let that be your message in the letter. It’s not that sex education isn’t vital; it’s that a class comprising merely the bare technicalities, completely stripped of the proper moral context of sex in true love and commitment in marriage, is completely misleading–not education at all.
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:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: 👍

Bravo!! Bravo!!
 
Okay, I want to scream. I am absolutely aghast that you as a parent were bombarded with peer pressure in this way about teaching your own children about morality and sex.

I am a 9th grade CCD teacher. In my class we cover a basic Catechism book written in question and answer format discussing all of the Church’s teachings on morality, etc. When we went through the ten Commandments, believe me we covered all that any kid needs to know to say no and why from the truth’s point of view. Not one of these kids needs to see pictures of body parts, etc.

We also show the kids the tape “Sex has a Price Tag” by Pam Stenzel. We obtain parental permission first and invite the parents to attend.

The goal of Catholic Education is to arm our children with the Truth, the consequences of sin and eternal salvation through the Sacraments of the Church.

Do not be deceived by any of these “programs”. At this age your children need to learn and start practicing moral courage. Be an example to your children. My own sons went through this CCD program and along with my education at home are now practicing this courage. It is very difficult in this world. They come home and tell me that all of their friends are screwed up. They only have each other and other family members their age.

Your children do not need to be scandalized just like you just were at the presentation and you have the worldly experience to handle it.

Remember that there is alot of peer pressure out there, and I’m not talking about peer pressure against your kids, I’m talking about you. Don’t allow other adults to pressure you into compromising on your ideals. Hold fast to them and to the truth! Do not be Afraid! - John Paul II
Pray, Pray, Pray!!
Totus Tuus!
God Bless!
 
Everything Elgom just said. 👍

Stand firm. They might not like what you say because they are buying into this world’s beliefs but we know who is the prince of this world and he will not win.

I am so proud of you, Giannawannabe. (Hear all the noise? That’s cheering all the way from WNY!!:clapping: )

This is what saints had to endure. Persecution. You are in good company. 👍
 
Thanks Sue and Elgom. I’m feeling much more confident about this whole deal. We’re so blessed to have these forums to discuss these things.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
Hey everyone!!! Just wanted to let you know that I think I’ve made a difference at our school. Instead of just my daughter, there are now 7 kids opting out of the Sex Ed program this year. I’ve talked to Nurses for Life and plan on developing a Christian Reproductive Health class to be run at a Retreat Center in our area. I’m hoping it can run every year around the same time as the Public Schools are running theirs, so that there is an option for parents who wish to opt out. I hope to include aspects of Jason Evert, Dr. Colleen and some info from the book “Joyful Mysteries of Life”. I’m so excited about this. I’d love to hear from anyone who has done something similar.

Thanks again!!!

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
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Giannawannabe:
Hey everyone!!! Just wanted to let you know that I think I’ve made a difference at our school. Instead of just my daughter, there are now 7 kids opting out of the Sex Ed program this year. I’ve talked to Nurses for Life and plan on developing a Christian Reproductive Health class to be run at a Retreat Center in our area. I’m hoping it can run every year around the same time as the Public Schools are running theirs, so that there is an option for parents who wish to opt out. I hope to include aspects of Jason Evert, Dr. Colleen and some info from the book “Joyful Mysteries of Life”. I’m so excited about this. I’d love to hear from anyone who has done something similar.

Thanks again!!!

God Bless
Giannawannabe
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Hurraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! 👍

That’s wonderful!! That’s called “reclaiming our children”!! 👍 :yup:

btw: Now get ready for the “fireworks” from the school. :rolleyes:
 
To those who have used Dr.Colleen’s program:
my son is 11and I’m opting him out of his school puberty program. Is Dr.Colleen’s program too advanced for an 11-year old? Her website says it’s ok for 7th grade and up, but what is your experience?
 
I really don’t understand this sex ed stuff. Who in the heck decided that it’s a god idea to teach 10 and 11 year olds how to put on a condom?

My sex talk? “You had better keep that damn thing in your pants or I’m gonna kick your ***,. And don’t you think we won’t find out.”

Worked for me.
 
Gianna –

I was opted out of sex ed all thru school – from 5th grade on. When they split the classes into gender, I went into the other classroom with the boys; then in highschool when they handed out cabbage patch kids to the “newlyweds” (barf!) I was again sent to study hall…can I just tell you how JEALOUS all the other kids were of me!!! I was so mad at my mom for doing it, until it was done…then I was the cool kid – not saying that’s going to happen, but that’s what happened to me. And in highschool when the “newlyweds” (BARF BARF!!) were stuck with homework over the weekend (toting around the doll to homecoming, etc. all the while being “checked on” by the “teacher” – who was actually a gym teacher…yikes!) – I was having a good old time – again, my friends were all jealous…lol!

I did realize at the time (tho it surprises me to look back and see this) that my mom felt sex was far too important to let anyone else teach me about it – that in and of itself was a subliminal reminder at how important sex is – that it’s not just an “act” but an entire miracle to be revered and reserved. I think you are doing a wonderful thing and I think you will be rewarded thousands of times over; my mom explained it to me in far less “technical” terms than a teacher would have, but with unmeasurably more love and understanding than any teacher ever would have. It really drove home the concept of “gift” where sexuality is concerned as opposed to “function of the human body” – if I could reach thru the screen and hug you for your bravery, I would. I look forward to my opportunity to “buck the system” when it’s my turn, and damn the naysayers. You are a mom, and you’re a good mom for doing this! Do you really think a teacher is going to say “God gave you this gift; it’s part of who you are and what you will be” in between condom demonstrations and definitions of a dental dam??? Doubtful. That is one lucky little girl you have there. I will pray for you to remain strong in the face of this challenge! (and as for needing a phd to teach about sex…??? Sorry. But that’s like saying “you’re not certified to teach addition!”)
 
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SueG:
To those who have used Dr.Colleen’s program:
my son is 11and I’m opting him out of his school puberty program. Is Dr.Colleen’s program too advanced for an 11-year old? Her website says it’s ok for 7th grade and up, but what is your experience?
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SueG----I’ve been using “Joyful Mysteries of Life” by Catherine &Bernard Scherrer with my 11 y.o daughter. I also have the school curriculum and I check what they’re learning each week and then I teach her in my own way. I was going to use Dr. Colleen’s program, but did find it more for Middle School age. WHEN I opt out my kids for the 7th grade Health Class, I will use Dr. Colleen’s program. Get the Joyful Mysteries of Life book-----it is beautiful.

Leaner----you’re the best. Thank you so much for your kind words. What you said is so true. The kids who are being opted out of Sex Ed are considered COOL—lol. I was so worried that she would be teased, but not the case. We’re having such fun together. She sleeps in, we go over our “lesson” and then we go out for donuts before going to school (sex ed is first class of the day, so we just skip out until 10:00). She LOVES the time we spend together.
 
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