oral sex with my wife ok?

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So let me get this straight. God forbid a male to lie with a male. I have no problem with that. That means He forbade any sex between two men, oral or otherwise. But He permits the same act between heterosexuals? :confused: After all it is not one’s attractions that are the abomination it is just the act. So why would the same act between two heterosexuals not also be an abomination?🤷
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
Oral sex to climax for a woman (without sexual intercourse with the husband finishing inside his wife) is a sin.
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Can I ask why? There’s no spilled seed or anything, and that’s why I thought the church was against oral sex to completion (for the man). Does the church teach what order things have to occur? Is it okay for the woman to climax before the man, or does it have to be after he’s done?

Does the church view both spouses to be of equal importance in the relationship? I understand the need from a pro-life view to have the semen wind up in the correct place, but a lot of what I’ve read here and in other places seem to treat the wife’s pleasure as incidental to the man’s, and from an outsiders point of view, it feels like geography is far more important than unity and intimacy.
 
goofyjim said:
So let me get this straight. God forbid a male to lie with a male. I have no problem with that. That means He forbade any sex between two men, oral or otherwise. But He permits the same act between heterosexuals? :confused: After all it is not one’s attractions that are the abomination it is just the act. So why would the same act between two heterosexuals not also be an abomination?🤷
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Because heterosexual sex ends in a procreative act. Period. I don’t understand why you keep comparing homosexual sex to heterosexual sex. They’re not even in the same arena.
 
NoxSineStellae said:
Can I ask why? There’s no spilled seed or anything, and that’s why I thought the church was against oral sex to completion (for the man). Does the church teach what order things have to occur? Is it okay for the woman to climax before the man, or does it have to be after he’s done?

Does the church view both spouses to be of equal importance in the relationship? I understand the need from a pro-life view to have the semen wind up in the correct place, but a lot of what I’ve read here and in other places seem to treat the wife’s pleasure as incidental to the man’s, and from an outsiders point of view, it feels like geography is far more important than unity and intimacy.
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I think what he’s saying is if a man and a woman are in actions that are leading up to sex and only the woman climaxes and the man doesn’t then the sex act is rendered incomplete. (I don’t know why a guy wouldn’t want to finish, though!) 🤷
 
goofyjim said:
So let me get this straight. God forbid a male to lie with a male. I have no problem with that. That means He forbade any sex between two men, oral or otherwise. But He permits the same act between heterosexuals? :confused: After all it is not one’s attractions that are the abomination it is just the act. So why would the same act between two heterosexuals not also be an abomination?🤷
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Open to human life.
 
StratusRose said:
I think what he’s saying is if a man and a woman are in actions that are leading up to sex and only the woman climaxes and the man doesn’t then the sex act is rendered incomplete. (I don’t know why a guy wouldn’t want to finish, though!) 🤷
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:tiphat: Thank you!
 
NoxSineStellae said:
Can I ask why? There’s no spilled seed or anything, and that’s why I thought the church was against oral sex to completion (for the man). Does the church teach what order things have to occur? Is it okay for the woman to climax before the man, or does it have to be after he’s done?

Does the church view both spouses to be of equal importance in the relationship? I understand the need from a pro-life view to have the semen wind up in the correct place, but a lot of what I’ve read here and in other places seem to treat the wife’s pleasure as incidental to the man’s, and from an outsiders point of view, it feels like geography is far more important than unity and intimacy.
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What I am saying is that a husband cannot bring his wife to climax and that be the end of the marital act. It still has to end with the husband’s climax inside of his wife.

Having said that, the husband can bring his wife to a climax (if she has not during sexual intercourse) through oral stimulation after he has climaxed.
 
I will hold to the opinion that oral sex is wrong for anyone. If opinions can not be respected then I truly feel sorry for everyone.
 
goofyjim said:
I will hold to the opinion that oral sex is wrong for anyone. If opinions can not be respected then I truly feel sorry for everyone.
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I have respected your opinion throughout this discussion. You are entitled to your opinion and it is unfortunate that it is not supported by any church documents.

That is where I raise an issue is that the OP wants to know if oral sex is wrong and you simply say that it is without any facts, documents or backup to support what you have said. You are answering the OP’ question based on your opinion and that is not fair to him or to others that may read this thread.

I know that you have a different view when it comes to this and all sexual activity, that is evident in your posts, but that does not mean that you state your opinion as fact. Again, not fair to anyone that may read this post.
 
Thanks for the clarification! That makes sense to me.

Is it still a sin if you intend to have the man finish (through intercourse, after the wife has climaxed through oral) but say, the phone rings, or the kids need to be picked up, or something else happens where you have to stop? Or is it just if you plan on not having him finish?

Do the same rules apply in reverse? Is it necessary for the wife to climax (or at least feel satisfied) for the act to be “complete”, or just the husband? If just the husband, is it because his semen is the most important factor? Not equal to her egg? I know they used to teach that the whole baby was in the seed, ready to be planted in the uterus, but we know that isn’t so now.

All kinds of questions are popping into my head, but I’ll leave it there because I don’t want to take the thread too far off course. I’m just starting to learn about sin (I’ve always followed rules such as “do unto others” and feel strongly about concepts like karma, but “sins” are a different concept, intriguing and scary all at once 🙂
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
Having said that, the husband can bring his wife to a climax (if she has not during sexual intercourse) through oral stimulation after he has climaxed.
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So it’s not allowed for her to climax before he does, even if he does afterwards and the act is complete? TMI alert, but I don’t blame men for not wanting to please their wives in that way if they’ve already finished there :o Is she allowed to clean up first?
 
goofyjim said:
I will hold to the opinion that oral sex is wrong for anyone. If opinions can not be respected then I truly feel sorry for everyone.
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There’s a contradiction in holding an (unsupported) opinion that any act is “wrong for anyone”.

You are certainly free to hold any opinion you like about what’s right and wrong for you. You are free to try to explain to everyone else why that opinion should hold true for them too. But to advance an opinion, just ‘because’ that x is “wrong for anyone” and just assert it like that is just absurd. Who are you to dictate what is right and wrong for anyone else? Even the Pope doesn’t have the authority to do that merely on the basis of his unsupported opinion or instinctive reaction.
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
I have respected your opinion throughout this discussion. You are entitled to your opinion and it is unfortunate that it is not supported by any church documents.

That is where I raise an issue is that the OP wants to know if oral sex is wrong and you simply say that it is without any facts, documents or backup to support what you have said. You are answering the OP’ question based on your opinion and that is not fair to him or to others that may read this thread.

I know that you have a different view when it comes to this and all sexual activity, that is evident in your posts, but that does not mean that you state your opinion as fact. Again, not fair to anyone that may read this post.
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The Church’s permissiveness for this is also an opinion and not fact yet I respect them. I am wary that the Church may be leading many a heterosexual on the road to hell as well. I will stick to genital intercourse to keep my conscience on the safe side. Besides, if my future wife wanted to perform oral sex on her even as foreplay I would have to be honest and tell her I find it offensive and wouldn’t do it.
 
Actually, if the woman climaxes first, the contractions of her cervix and vagina pull ejaculate through much easier, therfore making pregnancy more likely.😉
Also, its more loving and considerate for a man to bring his wife to orgasm before himself, because it shows her he isn’t just in the game to satisfy his own physical needs.

There is nothing wrong with oral sex so long as it ends in a way that is open to life, so Mirror Mirror is correct. The burden of proof that oral sex is wrong rests on those who say its against Catholic teaching. Show us how and where, please.

Homosexuality has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand as it will never lead to life.
 
NoxSineStellae said:
So it’s not allowed for her to climax before he does, even if he does afterwards and the act is complete? TMI alert, but I don’t blame men for not wanting to please their wives in that way if they’ve already finished there :o Is she allowed to clean up first?
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She can climax whenever, before or after, no problem there. Can she “clean up” first? As long as she does not go into the bathroom and take a shower. 😃
 
Since when is kissing not a sexual act? You do realize that there are women who climax while passionately kissing?
 
NoxSineStellae said:
Thanks for the clarification! That makes sense to me.

Is it still a sin if you intend to have the man finish (through intercourse, after the wife has climaxed through oral) but say, the phone rings, or the kids need to be picked up, or something else happens where you have to stop? Or is it just if you plan on not having him finish?
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:nope: no sin there. You must fall back on the intent of the act. You had every intention of completing the act, however, circumstances have changed that, unforseen circumstances that is. Now if you know you have to pick the kids up at 3:00 and it takes you 10 minutes to get there, do not start foreplay at 2:45.
NoxSineStellae said:
Do the same rules apply in reverse? Is it necessary for the wife to climax (or at least feel satisfied) for the act to be “complete”, or just the husband?
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It is just the husband that has to finish to complete the act. The semen and sperm have to be inside the vagina.
NoxSineStellae said:
If just the husband, is it because his semen is the most important factor? Not equal to her egg?
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It is not he most important factor, it is equal to that of the egg, but conception cannot happen without the semen being released in the proper manner. It is not a discussion of who is greater or lesser in the sex act. Mind you, the female climax does not have a direct relation to conception. Again, I am not saying that the wife is not important, far from that so please do not take it that way.
NoxSineStellae said:
All kinds of questions are popping into my head, but I’ll leave it there because I don’t want to take the thread too far off course. I’m just starting to learn about sin (I’ve always followed rules such as “do unto others” and feel strongly about concepts like karma, but “sins” are a different concept, intriguing and scary all at once 🙂
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If you would like to start a different thread on your questions, please do so. It sounds like you have questions and are very curious about the answers. I encourage you to bring those up.
 
JenniferMoon said:
Since when is kissing not a sexual act? You do realize that there are women who climax while passionately kissing?
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My husband has actually done this too. Unintentionally, while we were dating, no touching of any other sort :o I joke that I’m the best kisser in the world 😃

Your ‘wee princess’ is darling! We’re hoping to conceive our first before too long.
 
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