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StratusRose
Guest
Make sure she knows this before you get married. Not many women can climax from just intercourse, and she deserves an orgasm just as much as you do.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
That is fine, again, your opinion.
I think that this is one of the most absurd things that I have ever read:
Yeah that is what the Church is doing.
Again, it falls back on you to provide the burden of proof that says that oral sex as foreplay leading up to intercourse is sinful. Until you provide that there is no need to continue to post your opinion.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Great point.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Thank you Jennifer, very well put.Actually, if the woman climaxes first, the contractions of her cervix and vagina pull ejaculate through much easier, therfore making pregnancy more likely.
Also, its more loving and considerate for a man to bring his wife to orgasm before himself, because it shows her he isn’t just in the game to satisfy his own physical needs.
There is nothing wrong with oral sex so long as it ends in a way that is open to life, so Mirror Mirror is correct. The burden of proof that oral sex is wrong rests on those who say its against Catholic teaching. Show us how and where, please.
Homosexuality has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand as it will never lead to life.
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Mirror_Mirror
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NoxSineStellae
Guest
Intention makes sense. I think I’d stop searching for religion before I even started if God didn’t take intention into account
I won’t
I don’t know much about Catholicism yet, but I think I’ve been drawn to it more than other Christian churches because I get a sense it really honors and reveres women (I love the emphasis on Mary, and realize you all pray through her, not to her…it still is a soothing, welcoming feeling though, as I come from a background of being very interested in goddesses, mother earth, etc - Mary, and the saints, seems like a familiar and happy place to start). Mormonism also has a draw, but that’s more because of their teachings on hell (specifically, the absence of one in the ‘pit of eternal fire sense’ - it’s weird, I believe in “purgatory”, but am having trouble with the concept of eternal hell).I understand what you’re saying, and will give it thought
I may, thank you
We recently moved and I’ve been quite busy (home sick right now) but you’ve all be very nice so far, and I really would like to learn more.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
If you have not read it, I suggest “The Good News About Sex & Marriage” by Christopher West, a wonderful book that explains (in Q&A format) the Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II and is what opened my eyes to learn how to respect my wife and not use her as just a tool form my enjoyment.Intention makes sense. I think I’d stop searching for religion before I even started if God didn’t take intention into account
I won’t
I understand what you’re saying, and will give it thought
I may, thank you
Christopher West has a lot of great resources on this topic so check him out at www.christopherwest.com
Congrats on the move and welcome to CAF!!!
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JenniferMoon
Guest
Mt 16:18
And so I say to you, you are “Rock”, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.
Goofyjim, I would hope you would take these words to heart and see how you are indeed wrong here. Either you trust Jesus and believe the Church canot be in error or you don’t, and if not then why be Catholic?
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NoxSineStellae
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I have not heard of it even
Writing down the title, and I will look for it. I do get a little nervous though, as I’ve never felt used by my husband (or he by me), I know we’ve done stuff the church teaches against, and I’m afraid of being told that 
I know religion is more than what we feel (otherwise, what’s the point), but I fear being told what I feel is true in my heart is not. Does that make sense? But I don’t want to be in the dark either.I do love John Paul II as well, he’s another plus on the Catholic column
So I’ll look for that too, I’m interested in what he had to say.And thank you!
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
I was petrified to read that book because I had the same feelings that you had about it, actually reading that what I thought was okay was not. But you know what, that clarity that it provided me has pushed aside any fears that I had about stopping what I may have been doing wrong. TGNAS&M (the book) really opened my eyes to what it means to take part in the marital embrace. A renewal of our marriage vows. It is amazing.I have not heard of it even
I do love John Paul II as well, he’s another plus on the Catholic column
And thank you!
I think that you are open to what the teachings are and that will only benefit you as you search. Have your husband read it as well, it is an easy read.
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MrS
Guest
Reminded of a story (joke) my late mother in law told me. She was one of 12 children (plus 4 who were miscarried)
She would jest that her mom and dad were always passionate (proof was in the kids) and that one romantic evening “gramps” said, “hey you in the bathroom, ya gonna be there all night?”
To which “gramma” replied… “…be right there, go ahead and start without me…”
As to this thread… gramps apparently did not “finish” without her.
She would jest that her mom and dad were always passionate (proof was in the kids) and that one romantic evening “gramps” said, “hey you in the bathroom, ya gonna be there all night?”
To which “gramma” replied… “…be right there, go ahead and start without me…”
As to this thread… gramps apparently did not “finish” without her.
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thechrismyster
Guest
Catholics redefining Church teaching to suit their own personal taste. One of the downfalls of a public forum like this, i suppose.
http://cpdr.org/art/images/target.gif
http://cpdr.org/art/images/target.gif
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pig_boy
Guest
I don’t think you mean to say she “deserves” an orgasm. No one deserves an orgasm. That attitude can only create tension in a relationship and a sense of entitlement. Sex and the marital act should truly be a gift between two individuals and not a situation where we both get what we “deserve” out of it.
As to the rest of the topic, I understand the Church’s stance on the issue, but I agree with goofyjim on the topic. I really don’t see the redeeming values of either oral or anal sex as a part of foreplay. Just my opinion.
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JenniferMoon
Guest
That’s fine. Nobody should be doing anything they aren’t comfortable with. I do hope you will (or already have) explained those preferences with the Mrs. in your life and that she too shares the sentiment.
Why anal sex should even be a part of the discussion… AGAIN, I have no clue. Why are homosexual acts being brought up in a discussion about the heterosexual marriage bed?
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NoxSineStellae
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I think (correct me if I’m wrong) that the key part of her statement was “as much as you do”. In that the man is not entitled to an orgasm either, but since it almost always occurs with ejaculation, and ejaculation is required by the church, the man missing out on a climax isn’t really an issue. If the wife doesn’t deserve it, neither does the husband. But since his is required to happen, every thing possible should be done to try to get her to the same place. If sex isn’t reciprocal, it is using the other person’s body just to please your own, and as I understand it, the church teaches against that
It’s kind of easy to say they’re not necessary or deserved when there’s zero chance that you’re going to be denied one while making love.
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JenniferMoon
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:clapping:
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StratusRose
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Yes, thank you for clarifying what I was trying to say. I think even JPII said that it was the husband’s duty to make sure his wife achieved orgasm. My husband, for one, is not satisfied until I am!I think (correct me if I’m wrong) that the key part of her statement was “as much as you do”. In that the man is not entitled to an orgasm either, but since it almost always occurs with ejaculation, and ejaculation is required by the church, the man missing out on a climax isn’t really an issue. If the wife doesn’t deserve it, neither does the husband. But since his is required to happen, every thing possible should be done to try to get her to the same place. If sex isn’t reciprocal, it is using the other person’s body just to please your own, and as I understand it, the church teaches against that
It’s kind of easy to say they’re not necessary or deserved when there’s zero chance that you’re going to be denied one while making love.
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JenniferMoon
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Same here, lol.
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NoxSineStellae
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Me three There are good men out there, and some very lucky ladies!
There are good men out there, and some very lucky ladies!
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newbetx
Guest
We don’t want to do that either!
As long as both are a part of a completed marital act.
This, I understand, is correct.
Others do post something else. Unfortunately, you may see the same endless debate as happens here sometimes.
It can become confusing. 
Best advice I can offer is to examine your conscience after reading one (or more) of Christopher West’s books on JP II’s Theology of the Body. CW’s format is an easier read than some of the others but they are fine too. “The Good News About Sex and Marriage” is handed to our engaged couples at our parish. I wish we had that as a reference. Oh, and I encourage you to read and talk about it together with your wife!
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