Ordained for a wedding

  • Thread starter Thread starter JonW
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

JonW

Guest
What do you think of a female family member who is not Catholic but is baptized being “ordained” in order to officiate at a friend’s wedding? Is it licit to support this? I don’t think it will be a religious ceremony at all, and neither of the people getting married are Catholic. Would this then be just a legal thing that I shouldn’t worry about? Any advice would be extremely appreciated. Thanks very much.

Pax Christi

Jon
 
Wouldn’t she be repudiating her membership in the Catholic Church by receiving a sacrament (or something that looks like a sacrament) in another church?

I’m absolutely certain it is not licit, but can’t give you chapter and verse on why.
 
None of the parties is Catholic. Also, it’s not a sacrament, as I don’t think the ceremony will have any religious dimension at all. I guess my question is: should I support this? This person is a particularly close family member: my wife.

Jon
 
From what you’ve indicated, none of the people directly involved in this are Catholic (bride, groom, friend who will marry them). I don’t think the Church has a position on how non-Catholics choose to marry. They could go to a Justuce of the Peace and be married and as long as there are no impediments (i.e. a prior marriage) I believe this would be considered a presumptively valid marriage by the Church.

As to the friend being “ordained” to perform the marriage, obviously the church would not consider this a valid ordination. But frankly, the church doesn’t consider the ordinations of mainline Protestant pastors to be valid either. And we have no problem with them marring members of their congregations.

It’s possible that the persons involved in this could be doing it out of some desire to mock the sacraments of ordination and/or marriage. But more likely, they are looking for a simple and leagally recognizable way for their friend to officiate at their marriage.
 
Thanks for the reply, Thomas. Are all ordinations religious in nature, or are there any strictly legal “ordinations”? I would guess not. My real question is: should I support my non-Catholic wife in getting “ordained”, even in just a legal sense, and officiating at this marriage?
 
JonW said:
Thanks for the reply, Thomas. Are all ordinations religious in nature, or are there any strictly legal “ordinations”? I would guess not. My real question is: should I support my non-Catholic wife in getting “ordained”, even in just a legal sense, and officiating at this marriage?
Click to expand...
I think ordination is a religious, rather than a leagl concept.

However, in the United States, the government recognizes any marriage performed by a religious organization. Some other countries don’t recognize the religious ceremony as having any legal effect and require people to have a civil marriage first, then the church ceremony.

Because the US is so accomodating, there are some “churches” that have sprung up with the primary purpose of “ordaining” people to perform marriages. I have a friend who did something similar and I think he essentially got his “ordination” over the internet.

To me, this seems to cheapen the concept of “ordination.” But it’s the way the law works. If you want a friend to preside at your wedding they can be “ordained” easily and it will be recognized. They can’t as easily become a justice of the peace. Although it might be worth a call to the county courthouse to see if there is some way of being legally recognized to perform a marriage, without the religious conotation of an “ordination.”

What would “supporting this” mean? What would your wife’s Church’s position be on this?
 
What would “supporting this” mean? What would your wife’s Church’s position be on this?
Click to expand...
Should I encourage her to do it, etc.? I of course would be attending the ceremony as well. My wife has no Church. She was baptized Lutheran, but grew up without any religion, and has only been going to Church with me since my conversion.
 
Are either of the people getting married Catholic?

If not, and as your wife is not Catholic, and the wedding will be a legal marriage - does not seem to be a problem. Maybe a bit tacky, but, not a religious problem…
 
You also might want to clarify with her exactly what she plans on doing. She (or you) may just be using the word ordained and it might be something else. I know here a person can get “qualified” to perform a wedding ceremony (my friend asked if my husband would do it for her second wedding) but it is a temporary LEGAL thing.
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
You also might want to clarify with her exactly what she plans on doing. She (or you) may just be using the word ordained and it might be something else. I know here a person can get “qualified” to perform a wedding ceremony (my friend asked if my husband would do it for her second wedding) but it is a temporary LEGAL thing.
Click to expand...
Here in the States, any person can start a “church”. You get yourself a non-profit status, a web site and a p.o. box and POW, you are now “The Church of Enlightened Nothingism, Reformed”.

You can ordain people. With a visa card and an internet connection, I could have you ordained in 5 “churches” before supper.
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
You also might want to clarify with her exactly what she plans on doing. She (or you) may just be using the word ordained and it might be something else. I know here a person can get “qualified” to perform a wedding ceremony (my friend asked if my husband would do it for her second wedding) but it is a temporary LEGAL thing.
Click to expand...
I’m not sure if you can do that in the States. But as I said, it’s probably worth a call to the County Courthouse by the OP to find out.
 
Thomas63116 said:
I’m not sure if you can do that in the States. But as I said, it’s probably worth a call to the County Courthouse by the OP to find out.
Click to expand...
Just thought I’d throw it out there… here it’s kind of like a “justice of the peace for a day” deal. But, since my hubby would never do it (especially since my friend was also Catholic and having an invalid wedding) I didn’t look into the details…
 
Personally, it would offend me that any Christian would do this - because it does cheapen their identity as a Christian, even if their particular denomination didn’t forbid it. For that reason, I wouldn’t encourage or emotionally support it. If it were my spouse, I would counsel against it and would really hope they wouldn’t do it, but since they’re not Catholic, I wouldn’t make a big enough issue out of it to hurt our marriage. I don’t know how I would feel about attending such a wedding (because the Church probably would consider it valid since no parties are Catholic), but I would not want to bring my kids to it.
 
We were married by a “minister” in the “Universal Life Church.” We were already sacramentally married in the Catholic Church, but we lost our marriage certificate hours before we needed to produce one to the British consulate for a visa, so we got a quickie ceremony from some guy in the yellow pages. I don’t think he saw his “ordination” as anything other than a means of being able to set up a business, and so I don’t think the ceremony was any different than you’d get from a judge.
 
JonW said:
What do you think of a female family member who is not Catholic but is baptized being “ordained”
Click to expand...
So she was not baptized Catholic? Because if she was, she’s Catholic whether she calls herself that or not. Unless she formally converted since then…

Was she baptized in a different Christian denomination? Because it was the part about her being baptized that caused me to say what I did… I thought you meant baptized Catholic.
 
If the bride and groom are both baptized Christians but not Catholic, not only will the Catholic Church recognize this wedding as valid, but also **sacramental **(assuming there are no impediments such as prior marriages).

The bride and groom confer the sacrament on each other. The validity and ordination of the presiding minister don’t matter in such a case. As someone else has said, the Catholic Church doesn’t recognize any protestant ordinations as valid.

On the other hand, what will your wife need to do to become “ordained”? Will she have to attest to some sort of faith statement? Is she willing to do that? If she plans to sign up anyway, even if she doesn’t really believe, I would discourage that as being dishonest and a mockery of the truly ordained.
 
Sorry I wasn’t more clear. She was not baptized Catholic. She does not prescribe to any religion, not even Christian. I don’t know if the ordination thing requires her to make a faith statement. If it does, I will strongly discourage her from doing it, and she wouldn’t do it then anyway. I don’t know if both marrying parties are baptized or not. If they are baptized and are married in a purely legal way, would it still be a sacrament?

Jon
 
JonW said:
If they are baptized and are married in a purely legal way, would it still be a sacrament?
Click to expand...
In the eyes of the Catholic Church, they would have a valid natural marriage, but it would not be a sacrament.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top