Orgasm and Catholic Love

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Sexual questions are always a big draw for Chrristians and Catholics alike, even non-Christians seeking answers or opinions. I’m known as a devoute, somewhat knowledgable Catholic at work, and no one has yet asked me about why we ask for intercession from Mary and the Saints, no one has asked about clarification of the Eucharist, or how we choose a new Pope, nope. The questions I always get asked are about whats the deal with birth control, why does the Church “hate” gays, why is masturbation wrong, always about sex!!

The first thing through my mind with this post was perhaps english is not the poster’s first language, or he’s not adroit with a keyboard, if its shenanigans, fine, its shenangians, welcome to the internet.

To the OP, good for you as a Christian man [supposedly?] that you ask such a question, you are expressing your concern for your wife [or future wife], it is a selfless desire you are showing, a good love. An important thing in marriage is communication, there’s nothing immoral about a wife telling her husband what she finds pleasurable, and there is nothing immoral about a husband asking his wife if he pleasing her, and how she can please him. As long as each and every sexual act is procreative and unitive, directed towards the dignity of each person, there is no immorality.
 
SwizzleStick said:
Nobody indicated that at all. And, judging from the several hundred threads on the topic of sex in this forum, you are wrong. It is discussed quite a lot here and is quite a worthy subject, not a dirty subject at all.
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You yourself indicated this was an unworthy topic for a public forum.
This is something a man and his wife would discuss privately and life experience within their marriage will help them figure it out.
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I know not all Catholics think sex is dirty, but I was offended at the condescending response to the OP. I had to respond to that.
 
stevekehl said:
You yourself indicated this was an unworthy topic for a public forum.

I know not all Catholics think sex is dirty, but I was offended at the condescending response to the OP. I had to respond to that.
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I did? Hmm. I don’t think so.

How can we know what an individual couple wants and needs in their marriage? That is something determined by the couple in private conversation and, well, practice. But, in general, sex is discussed here a lot.
 
HisIsTheCrown said:
What is the Christian Way of seeing orgasm? This is my concern, for i think Love should look for the pleasure (well being, wishes, whatever) of the other first.
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Roger Scruton rephrases your question a bit: If there is sexual misconduct, it is only a special case of the more general sin of forcing, defrauding, or manipulating other people into doing something they do not really want to do.
HisIsTheCrown said:
And I think Love should look for the pleasure (well being, wishes, whatever) of the other first.
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The question Scruton winds up with (and quite different from your Catholic Love shtick) is this:

If they really do want to do it, and the feeling is mutual, then what on earth is wrong?

He concludes that the question itself is suspect: the argument is not about consent but about the very nature of the sexual act and the desire expressed in it.

He turns his gaze to five modern theories or thoughts that he feels derails correct thinking about sex:
This way of describing and in consequence experiencing sexual phenomena I believe to be founded in five myths. Some of the myths originate in wishful thinking, and some in scientific and pseudoscientific theories.
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I can almost see that the very way you broach the topic of orgasm and the “Christian way of viewing it” is based on acceptance of some of these myths. The predominant idea for a notion of Catholic Love does not lie with pleasure.The notion that sexual desire is desire for a particular kind of pleasure is one of his false myths.

You can pick up Scruton’s arguments later on in the piece. The post is here.

I think you will like it.

dj
 
HisIsTheCrown said:
Having answered another posts, I thank you for yours. It is precious. Seriously. What are you talking about that I do not know, “The Theology of the Body” ? 👍
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Not sure what you mean here…John Paul ll’s Theology of the Body or about women’s orgasms originating from 2 different parts of their anatomy or that it’s a myth that most women would rather have “love and cuddles” from sex instead of an orgasm…

theologyofthebody.net/
 
LightBound said:
Not sure what you mean here…John Paul ll’s Theology of the Body or about women’s orgasms originating from 2 different parts of their anatomy or that it’s a myth that most women would rather have “love and cuddles” from sex instead of an orgasm…

theologyofthebody.net/
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Whatever you said, I know. I thank you for your opinion. I think orgasm coming from the 2 parts of the body is vaginal an clitoral, no? What raises a question of how hard is to reach vaginal orgasm, which seems to be the most enjoyable.

Now, I did not know the Theology of the body. Thanks.

Now, it is not
“love and cuddles” from sex instead of an orgasm
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. It is not “instead of”. It is if “love and cuddles” is the essential being the orgasm great when it comes but not a drama if it does not come. This attitude is different from men which have (before being knocked out by age) generally orgasm and which orgasm is essential for reproduction.

Did I answer your questions?
 
underacloud said:
Some women orgasm more easily than others. Some women do not achieve orgasm often at all. There are wide differences. As you note, for males it is easier (disfunction aside).

So again we come back to communication between any given couple. The couple working together towards a more unitive marital embrace. Any loving husband ought to make a great effort to bring pleasure to his wife and help her achieve orgasm as much as possible. For some women, with their husbands help, that will be frequently, for some women infrequently. For couples who struggle for the woman to reach orgasm frequently, sex can still be a wonderful loving embrace that brings them together and reinforces the bonds or marriage.

A loving husband should make great effort to communicate. This can be hard as sex is often a difficult topic to open up about. Especially if there is dissatisfaction…no wife wants to tell her husband that he’s not doing a good job (however it’s expressed, this is likely what he will hear). But there are positive ways to go about it. The husband can encourage the wife to let him know when she’s enjoying herself, and what it is that she likes. A loving husband can also pay attention to the peripheral issues: sex isn’t just about what happens between the sheets, but what is happening generally between the couple. A husband can help the wife be more relaxed and receptive to sex in many ways - helping with kids, helping with chores, cooking a nice meal, massage, etc.
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Fine. Helpful for me. hard to do for me. :o
 
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