L
lynnehelen
Guest
Still suffering from culture shock from relocation from S. Fla to SE PA, but I realize that it’s more than that.
First of all, this is the area where my “brokenness” “happened” to me. I couldn’t access the website for the Catholic radio station I listened to in Florida (I did get a chance to say a God-given goodbye)–computer still giving me trouble, but I’m ON IT. So I prayed the Rosary, correctly, for the second time: the luminous mysteries. I find I know almost all the incidents and passages from the Bible and from listening on Spirit FM actually know them WELL.
This is also the area where I had my first abortion. It is Christian territory, but not Catholic territory (I won’t try to elaborate on that, e.g., all territory/no territory is Catholic territory).
And my parents are here. But, most important, my son is here. I looked for Maggie, my Fla Project Rachel counselor, at the end of the Rosary, and she was gone; it has to be that way; she left me with two books that were her treasured personal possessions, the second being the Compendium of the Catechism, which is right here on that table beside me, and was the first place my glance fell as I searched for her. I called just to wish her a pleasant Sunday afternoon and let her know I’ve landed on my feet–she wasn’t there, I left a message; it’s all good.
So now I’m back to taking “one step at a time;” (as Maggie said again and again); and loving the roses from St. Therese of Lisieux.
Not a saint, I realize; I fantasized often that I was, because of so much suffering; but it has been given to me to understand that I do INDEED have baptism of desire and I know the prayer for when you can’t receive the Lord sacramentally in temporal reality and have prayed it and then took a walk to the lobby of the hotel to get a cup of coffee and it was in ample supply.
Please pray for me for mercies and for strength and spiritual increase as I walk this ?treacherous path. This post is intended in part for any who read my many troubled posts in the night.
First of all, this is the area where my “brokenness” “happened” to me. I couldn’t access the website for the Catholic radio station I listened to in Florida (I did get a chance to say a God-given goodbye)–computer still giving me trouble, but I’m ON IT. So I prayed the Rosary, correctly, for the second time: the luminous mysteries. I find I know almost all the incidents and passages from the Bible and from listening on Spirit FM actually know them WELL.
This is also the area where I had my first abortion. It is Christian territory, but not Catholic territory (I won’t try to elaborate on that, e.g., all territory/no territory is Catholic territory).
And my parents are here. But, most important, my son is here. I looked for Maggie, my Fla Project Rachel counselor, at the end of the Rosary, and she was gone; it has to be that way; she left me with two books that were her treasured personal possessions, the second being the Compendium of the Catechism, which is right here on that table beside me, and was the first place my glance fell as I searched for her. I called just to wish her a pleasant Sunday afternoon and let her know I’ve landed on my feet–she wasn’t there, I left a message; it’s all good.
So now I’m back to taking “one step at a time;” (as Maggie said again and again); and loving the roses from St. Therese of Lisieux.
Not a saint, I realize; I fantasized often that I was, because of so much suffering; but it has been given to me to understand that I do INDEED have baptism of desire and I know the prayer for when you can’t receive the Lord sacramentally in temporal reality and have prayed it and then took a walk to the lobby of the hotel to get a cup of coffee and it was in ample supply.
Please pray for me for mercies and for strength and spiritual increase as I walk this ?treacherous path. This post is intended in part for any who read my many troubled posts in the night.
