Other catechists undermining my teaching

[Lee_M]

I am a second grade catechist and prepare the children for their first reconciliation and first communion. We have first reconciliation in November and first communion in late April. That leaves about 5 months in between each sacrament. A few weeks before the children were to receive their first communion, I suggested that they go to reconciliation first since it had been five months. I tried to have them examine their consciences like we did when preparing for reconciliation. Any way, after the class, my youngest daughter said that one of the other catechists said, “I don’t know why he’s worried about that. They’re too young to even have to worry about confession.” This really hit me wrong and at the next meeting, I asked that the other catechists keep their personal opinions to themselves and not make statements against the Church’s teachings. Another catechist spoke up and said that they really doubt that a second grader would be committing mortal sins. I brought up the the fourth commandment of honoring thy father and mother and that some children do have a tendacy to break this commandment. The other catechist rolled her eyes when I said this and acted like it was not a big deal. I think that parents get used to kids not being very respectful to them and have learned to just live with it.

I look at it that if a child knows that it is a sin to not honor their parents, does it in free will, and the sin is grave matter(which it is breaking a commandment), then it would be considered a mortal sin. There are other mortal sins that children can committ since they have come to an age of reason.

I just made a suggestion to these children to use this great gift that our Lord gave us and go to confession regulary. Reconciliation is a sacrament and is an outward sign of inner grace. I just feel like the majority of people in our church have rejected this sacrament and it is a shame.

Am I wrong for being upset about this?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Do all of the catechists get together to plan? If so, that would be a good time to bring up the idea of Reconciliation before First Communion. If there are disagreements then you could work them out among yourselves. As things stand, you’re giving the kids different messages and that’s not good. You probably shouldn’t have gone off without consulting the other catechists, and they shouldn’t have undermined what you said. You definitely need more communication.

 

[christcnection1]

I believe that 2nd-graders are normally under the age of reason, which is 7, if I am not mistaken.

I doubt that any of them are in mortal sin; however, I do believe it’s good practice for them to go to Confession anyway. It’s a good idea for adults to go to Confession regularly whether they are in mortal sin or not.

For sin to be mortal, it must meet this criteria: 1) Grave Matter 2) Full Knowledge 3) Full Consent of the will

There may be a gray area, only known to the Lord, in which these truths subsist, but I hold the belief that it’s highly unlikely that any of these 2nd-graders are in grave danger. In other words, their minds and wills are not the same as an adult, even though they are at the age of reason.

Still, it’s to their benefit to promote regular Confession. Whether or not it’s worth fighting with other catechists is a different matter.

Have you asked the priest how he wants this dealt with?

I think you are right in encouraging it. However, I’m not sure it should be demanded.

 

[Lee_M]

Do all of the catechists get together to plan? If so, that would be a good time to bring up the idea of Reconciliation before First Communion. If there are disagreements then you could work them out among yourselves. As things stand, you’re giving the kids different messages and that’s not good. You probably shouldn’t have gone off without consulting the other catechists, and they shouldn’t have undermined what you said. You definitely need more communication.

All cathechist do get together to plan. At our church, First Reconciliation comes before First Communion. I don’t understand what you mean that I probably shouldn’t have gone off without consulting the other catechists. This program is laid out by the parish. I teach what the church wants me to teach but I thought it was wrong for other catechists to be speaking against it in public especially in front of the children. I didn’t go off. I waited until we was at our meeting to address the issue.

 

[Lee_M]

I think you are right in encouraging it. However, I’m not sure it should be demanded.

I never demanded anything. I only suggested it and told the children what the church teaches.

 

[christcnection1]

I never demanded anything. I only suggested it and told the children what the church teaches.

Never said you did… only suggested it might be a bad idea to do that.

I pray that the Lord blesses your group - that there is genuine unity and charity through this disagreement.

Does your pastor want the children to go to Confession again?

Blessings,

JB

 

[Lee_M]

He asked all students second grade and above and their families to participate in the sacrament during Lent. During two weeks of Lent, he held confession during our class time and suggested that the families participate in the sacrament.

 

[quiet52]

He asked all students second grade and above and their families to participate in the sacrament during Lent. During two weeks of Lent, he held confession during our class time and suggested that the families participate in the sacrament.

I like that your pastor does this!

Yes, the other catechist undermined you (by making that comment in front of a child). I hope you’ve mentioned this to your pastor. I suggest you ask him to reinforce your stand, by speaking to the catechists as a group, or to write them an annual letter.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

All cathechist do get together to plan. At our church, First Reconciliation comes before First Communion. I don’t understand what you mean that I probably shouldn’t have gone off without consulting the other catechists. This program is laid out by the parish. I teach what the church wants me to teach but I thought it was wrong for other catechists to be speaking against it in public especially in front of the children. I didn’t go off. I waited until we was at our meeting to address the issue.

I think I’m confused.

I thought that the kids made their first confession a few months ago and their first communion is coming up…but then you added in something extra by telling them they should go to confession again. I thought the other catechists had been blindsided by this and then they spoke out (in front of the kids) saying they didn’t need to go again so soon.

And my suggestion was that you all needed to talk together more among yourselves and not in front of the kids.

 

[JudieK]

Lee- I can understand how you feel. Mostly it is the parents that undermine the teachings in class. I try to teach a very rigorous and orthodox class to 3rd graders, because I think they are capable of handling the information. I don’t always get alot of support. I think you were perfectly right to encourage confession prior to communion… I did the same thing with my class, as we did First Communion in 3rd grade. Not one of my students had been to confession since their first time in 2nd grade. If we don’t think it is important, why do we do the sacrament in 2nd grade? I also encouraged my kids to go during Lent. None did. I have heard other catechists tell kids they don’t believe in confession at all! PM me sometime and we can discuss our thoughts on this vital and (underappreciated) ministry!!

 

[puzzleannie]

this should have been taken to the DRE and pastor immediately. I don’t see in OP’s story where this has been done. all the catechists have to be on the same program, if they are not, the DRE has to know, as does the pastor, because it is their responsibility to assure that teaching the children recieve is valid and orthodox. the catechist should not even begin a discussion about what the children should be taught with “I believe” or “In my opinion” because neither is the issue, the only issue is “the Church teaches.”

it this discussion took place in front of the children, you should have nipped it in the bud, and gone to the DRE immediately, because that is against a host of rules.

 

[mercygate]

He asked all students second grade and above and their families to participate in the sacrament during Lent. During two weeks of Lent, he held confession during our class time and suggested that the families participate in the sacrament.

Well, DUH!

I don’t get where this other teacher is coming from. WHY would the Church REQUIRE (and we do REQUIRE) first communicants to come to confession before receiving the Blessed Sacrament for the first time IF she did not believe them to be capable of sin?

I tell ya. I sure was capable of sin as a seven or eight-year-old. Hmm. Disobedience? Temper? Lying? Jealousy? Selfishness? AND I KNEW IT.

Contrary to what people might think – that these are just childish foibles – when I came into the Church as an adult and made my “big” general [life] confession, I saw that the sins of my childhood were far from trivial, but had, in fact, seeded the ground for the sins of adolescence and adulthood.

I WISH my kids had a teacher like you.

 

[Lee_M]

this should have been taken to the DRE and pastor immediately. I don’t see in OP’s story where this has been done. all the catechists have to be on the same program, if they are not, the DRE has to know, as does the pastor, because it is their responsibility to assure that teaching the children recieve is valid and orthodox. the catechist should not even begin a discussion about what the children should be taught with “I believe” or “In my opinion” because neither is the issue, the only issue is “the Church teaches.”

it this discussion took place in front of the children, you should have nipped it in the bud, and gone to the DRE immediately, because that is against a host of rules.

I was not discussing with the other catechist on what should be done in front of the children. As I originally stated in my first post, my youngest daughter told me what the other catechist was saying. I didn’t include in the first post that the other catechist has a child in my class and my class was running over. She was waiting for my class to end and evidently, she heard me talking to the kids while she waited outside of my classroom. My daughter came to me and told me what was said after we went home. At the next catechist meeting, I brought it up with the DRE being present. Some other catechists at the meeting agreed pretty much that I was asking too much out of these kids. I’m not basing my curriculum on what these other catechist think because I think that they are too liberal sometimes. The DRE agreed with me. I was just asking the people on this board if they thought if I was wrong suggesting these kids go to confession since it had been 5 months since their first confession. I was suggesting that if they hadn’t been since then, that they might want to schedule a time with our pastor or go to one of the scheduled times at our church.

 

[kage_ar]

Our Pastor has sat aside hours (outside of the regular scheduled Saturday hours) for Confession on the Saturday before 1st Communion and invites all the families of the first communicants to come and participate.

 

[Spirithound]

I don’t understand what you mean that I probably shouldn’t have gone off without consulting the other catechists. This program is laid out by the parish. I teach what the church wants me to teach but I thought it was wrong for other catechists to be speaking against it in public especially in front of the children. I didn’t go off. I waited until we was at our meeting to address the issue.

Was the idea of going to Confession closely before First Communion a spur-of-the-moment type thing? If so, communications is key here, even though I think you’re right on with encouraging frequent-ish confession (relative to their age ). If this was a parish directive, your fellow catechists need to get with the program!

 

[Lee_M]

Was the idea of going to Confession closely before First Communion a spur-of-the-moment type thing? If so, communications is key here, even though I think you’re right on with encouraging frequent-ish confession (relative to their age ). If this was a parish directive, your fellow catechists need to get with the program!

Am I missing something here? How is going to confession closely before First Communion a spur-of-the-moment type thing. I was taught to go to confession regularly. That is what we do as Catholics. If we have committed a sin and it hasn’t been absolved, then we are committing another sin(which is even more grave) by receiving the eucharist. I’m trying to teach these students the right way and why we do not take communon if we are under a state of sin.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am a second grade catechist and prepare the children for their first reconciliation and first communion. We have first reconciliation in November and first communion in late April. That leaves about 5 months in between each sacrament. A few weeks before the children were to receive their first communion, I suggested that they go to reconciliation first since it had been five months. I tried to have them examine their consciences like we did when preparing for reconciliation. Any way, after the class, my youngest daughter said that one of the other catechists said, “I don’t know why he’s worried about that. They’re too young to even have to worry about confession.” This really hit me wrong and at the next meeting, I asked that the other catechists keep their personal opinions to themselves and not make statements against the Church’s teachings. Another catechist spoke up and said that they really doubt that a second grader would be committing mortal sins. I brought up the the fourth commandment of honoring thy father and mother and that some children do have a tendacy to break this commandment. The other catechist rolled her eyes when I said this and acted like it was not a big deal. I think that parents get used to kids not being very respectful to them and have learned to just live with it.

I look at it that if a child knows that it is a sin to not honor their parents, does it in free will, and the sin is grave matter(which it is breaking a commandment), then it would be considered a mortal sin. There are other mortal sins that children can committ since they have come to an age of reason.

I just made a suggestion to these children to use this great gift that our Lord gave us and go to confession regulary. Reconciliation is a sacrament and is an outward sign of inner grace. I just feel like the majority of people in our church have rejected this sacrament and it is a shame.

Am I wrong for being upset about this?

My thought after reading the first few lines of your post was, “I hope they make their second Confession in early April!” The Church would not require First Confession at the Age of Reason before First Holy Communion, if the children were not capable of personal sins, even mortal sins.

 

[Lee_M]

My thought after reading the first few lines of your post was, “I hope they make their second Confession in early April!” The Church would not require First Confession at the Age of Reason before First Holy Communion, if the children were not capable of personal sins, even mortal sins.

Thank you for your support. I didn’t think I was being irrational.

 

[Spirithound]

Am I missing something here? How is going to confession closely before First Communion a spur-of-the-moment type thing. I was taught to go to confession regularly. That is what we do as Catholics. If we have committed a sin and it hasn’t been absolved, then we are committing another sin(which is even more grave) by receiving the eucharist. I’m trying to teach these students the right way and why we do not take communon if we are under a state of sin.

I mean, was it pre-planned? Did you and the other catechists mention it before you said it in class? If not, then greater communication is in order. Either way, you are clearly teaching the right thing.

 

[Lee_M]

I mean, was it pre-planned? Did you and the other catechists mention it before you said it in class? If not, then greater communication is in order. Either way, you are clearly teaching the right thing.

I don’t know what you are getting at pre-planned. The other catechist is not in my class. They have a different grade. I don’t look at their lesson plan and they don’t look at mind. I’m not for sure where you’re coming at on the greater communication. I didn’t know I need other catechists approval for my lesson plan. However, if they are a catechist, I believe they should know that reconciliation is necessary for receiving the eucharist if we have committed mortal sin.

I’m not trying to be short with you. I’m curious, do catechists at your parish look at each others plans?