Our Baby Was Stillborn

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We had our beautiful baby March 19, 2010. His name was Peyton Gabriel Johnson He was beautiful and perfect. He was stillborn from a cord accident. We are very devestated and can barely get through days. I have been worried so bad because we didn’t get to have him baptized because the priest said since he was already dead it would be considered a “conditional baptism” . I was going to have him baptized the first week he had him if he would have been born alive. I know God knows I was going to have him baptized, but I still worry. While we had him in our arms I placed Holy Water on his little forehead and made a Cross with my fingers and the Holy Water. We tried 3 years to get pregnant so we are so sad. We pray that it doesn’t take 3 more years to get pregnant. I miss Peyton so bad it litterally hurts me.
If you would like to see a slideshow of our family you can click the link below:
youtube.com/watch?v=0zQ5Tx0UbhA

~Alisha
 
Alisha, God knows your intent to baptise your baby. He loved little Peyton and you and your husband and will deliver your dear child into the arms of Jesus. You will hold him again if you are true to your faith and find your way to heaven. God bless you.
 
There is so little that anyone can say at this time.
Know that God has Payton with Him. Do not worry about the baptism. Your intent for your child, pure as can be, assures that your little one is with the Father.
Payton’s heart, so innocent and pure has drawn near to Christ, just as Christ has said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, for the kingdom belongs to ones such as these”.
You will now have another powerful advocate near to the throne.

May God comfort you in your grief.

Peace
James
 
Dear Alisha - my prayers are with you, your husband and Peyton. I am truly sorry for your loss.
 
I can relate. My brother nearly died in the same way. Since then, he has had many, many problems and will probably not live to see his 20th birthday, according to the doctors.
I pray that Mary, the mother of our Savior, will enfold you in her arms, to comfort and keep you. Because of your intention of baptism, Peyton is not truly dead – only his body. Because he is with the Father, he is still a part of the Body of Christ, and so you can still pray to him. I am certain that if you listen, he’ll respond in some way.
 
Dear Alisha,

my sincere condolences. I’ve said a prayer for you and your husband and your baby.

I’ve also found information that your situation falls under baptism by desire. Don’t worry about your baby. Take care of yourself.
 
May our gracious Lady fold you in the mantle of her cloak.

Amen.
 
:gopray: The Hail Mary

Hail Mary . . . full of grace . . . the Lord is with thee . . . blessed art thou among women . . . and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb . . . Jesus . . . Holy Mary . . . Mother of God . . . pray for us sinners . . . now and at the hour of our death . . . Amen . . .​

. . . all for Jesus​
+
. . . draw near Dear Holy Comforter+
. . . Sweet Spirit of our Holy God+
. . . to this precious child’s family+
:signofcross:
​
 
Alisha,

I’m sorry for your loss and I know exactly what you’re going through. Our daughter, Mary Elizabeth, was stillborn at 38 weeks seven months ago. In her case too, the cord took her life. And while I have hope that I have a saint in heaven I too struggle with the fact that she was not baptized. Like you, we had every intention of having her baptized and had even planned it for the nearest feast of Our Lady.

I read in a document on funeral rites that in this case the Church allows for a Catholic funeral Mass and burial because of our intention to have the child baptized and raised in the faith. That is of some comfort to me.

Also, I just finished reading a book by Greg Floyd called “A Grief Unveiled” which is the only book I’ve found written from a Catholic perspective about losing a child. In his case his son was around 6 when he died. So it’s not perfect for our situation but he does have some insights in to grief and our faith.

As I said, I have hope that she was accepted in to heaven and is wrapped in the arms of Jesus and Mary. That hope will walk with me on my journey to the Father. And it’s with that hope that I ask for her intercession as a saint, so small and innocent.

The last few lines of Steven Curtis Chapman’s song Heaven is the Face sums it up.
So God, You know, I’m trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl
Heaven in the face of my little girl
Click to expand...
God Bless,
Michael
 
my son was born on the same day

i feel so trully sorry for your loss.

know that the Church recognizes Baptism by Desire, that those who have desired baptism but was not able to make it, will have been baptized by the Church. also, fear not for Jesus will not let anything prevent children from coming to Him.

Luke 18:16
But Jesus called for them, saying, "Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
 
Oh my gosh, Alisha…I’m so horribly sorry for the loss of your son. That is just absolutely heatbreaking. :bighanky:

I just lost a baby due to early m/c a few days ago (it was our 4th loss----2nd this year). Losing a baby at any stage of pg is devastating, but I can’t even imagine the pain you must be going through…to be that far along and losing him. 😦

I posed the same question about where unbaptised babies go after death, and I got many answers (you can read my post here in this section, if you want). The answer that’s most comforting and plausible is that we have “ordinary” ways here on earth of obtaining salvation through baptism with water, but God has “extraordinary” ways of a child making his/her way to heaven through a different type of baptism----not necessarily with water. God is a just and loving God who loves and cares for children. I believe, with all my heart, that our babies are just fine and we WILL see them again and live with them for all eternity. PLEASE don’t worry…have faith.

I’ll pray that you get through this extremely difficult time and that you may conceive again soon----God willing. :console:

God bless,
Danielle
 
Pamm said:
Alisha, God knows your intent to baptise your baby. He loved little Peyton and you and your husband and will deliver your dear child into the arms of Jesus. You will hold him again if you are true to your faith and find your way to heaven. God bless you.
Click to expand...
Thanks Pam, I truely believe it too.
 
ZDHayden said:
I can relate. My brother nearly died in the same way. Since then, he has had many, many problems and will probably not live to see his 20th birthday, according to the doctors.
I pray that Mary, the mother of our Savior, will enfold you in her arms, to comfort and keep you. Because of your intention of baptism, Peyton is not truly dead – only his body. Because he is with the Father, he is still a part of the Body of Christ, and so you can still pray to him. I am certain that if you listen, he’ll respond in some way.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much for your kind words. I have been praying to him. I know he can hear me, I just wish I could at least dream of him, just to be able to see him again. Thanks so much for praying to Mary for us. I have been praying also to her. I pray it won’t take us so long to conceive again.
 
Contra_Mundum said:
Dear Alisha,

my sincere condolences. I’ve said a prayer for you and your husband and your baby.

I’ve also found information that your situation falls under baptism by desire. Don’t worry about your baby. Take care of yourself.
Click to expand...
Thank You Contra!!
 
mlldrl said:
Alisha,

I’m sorry for your loss and I know exactly what you’re going through. Our daughter, Mary Elizabeth, was stillborn at 38 weeks seven months ago. In her case too, the cord took her life. And while I have hope that I have a saint in heaven I too struggle with the fact that she was not baptized. Like you, we had every intention of having her baptized and had even planned it for the nearest feast of Our Lady.

I read in a document on funeral rites that in this case the Church allows for a Catholic funeral Mass and burial because of our intention to have the child baptized and raised in the faith. That is of some comfort to me.

Also, I just finished reading a book by Greg Floyd called “A Grief Unveiled” which is the only book I’ve found written from a Catholic perspective about losing a child. In his case his son was around 6 when he died. So it’s not perfect for our situation but he does have some insights in to grief and our faith.

As I said, I have hope that she was accepted in to heaven and is wrapped in the arms of Jesus and Mary. That hope will walk with me on my journey to the Father. And it’s with that hope that I ask for her intercession as a saint, so small and innocent.

The last few lines of Steven Curtis Chapman’s song Heaven is the Face sums it up.

God Bless,
Michael
Click to expand...
Thank you so much Michael for sharing that with me. I pray we can get pregnant again. I will also pray to little Saint Mary Elizabeth. I pray for Peyton’s intercession all the time too. I talk to him all day. I know he is spiritually closer to me now than ever. It just hurts that all of our hopes and dreams of the future is gone. We had just had his baby shower 2 days before. I still cry everyday and I wonder if I will always cry everyday. Maybe when we get pregnant again it will take some of the “unknown” stress off of us. We are just so worried this was our only chance at becoming parents. Thank you so much Michael!
In Christ,
Alisha
 
choy said:
my son was born on the same day

i feel so trully sorry for your loss.

know that the Church recognizes Baptism by Desire, that those who have desired baptism but was not able to make it, will have been baptized by the Church. also, fear not for Jesus will not let anything prevent children from coming to Him.

Luke 18:16
But Jesus called for them, saying, "Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Click to expand...
Thank you Choy!!
 
daniden said:
Oh my gosh, Alisha…I’m so horribly sorry for the loss of your son. That is just absolutely heatbreaking. :bighanky:

I just lost a baby due to early m/c a few days ago (it was our 4th loss----2nd this year). Losing a baby at any stage of pg is devastating, but I can’t even imagine the pain you must be going through…to be that far along and losing him. 😦

I posed the same question about where unbaptised babies go after death, and I got many answers (you can read my post here in this section, if you want). The answer that’s most comforting and plausible is that we have “ordinary” ways here on earth of obtaining salvation through baptism with water, but God has “extraordinary” ways of a child making his/her way to heaven through a different type of baptism----not necessarily with water. God is a just and loving God who loves and cares for children. I believe, with all my heart, that our babies are just fine and we WILL see them again and live with them for all eternity. PLEASE don’t worry…have faith.

I’ll pray that you get through this extremely difficult time and that you may conceive again soon----God willing. :console:

God bless,
Danielle
Click to expand...
Thank you Danielle! That makes my heart feel so much better!! I am so sorry for your losses! We have struuggled with infertility for 3 years. When we finally got pregnant we were beyond excited! I just pray it happens again. Infertility is such a hard cross to bare.
Thank you so much!!
In Christ, Alisha
 
My dear, I am so sorry for your loss. Your child’s condition of baptism is called “baptism of desire”. He is in Heaven with the angels, the saints, and with Jesus Himself. Someday you will look upon his face again. Don’t lose hope.
In the meantime, it may help you to spend extra time in prayer, perhaps praying the Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet; or to go to spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
I am praying for you and your husband. :signofcross:
 
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